Credibility Factors

[catzenmouse]

Its called senility, youngster. Us old timers cant remember what we had fer dinner, much less what we posted an hour ago.

Now, now William... we old folks like to use the PC terms for this. I like Oldtimers Disease and CRS (Can't Remember $hit) and I saw that Richard recently called it KRAFT Disease (Kan't Remember A F'n Thing).

Be gentle with us...

Ken

[jb]

What I've noticed is that acceptance often equals credibility.   A case in point is T/G and VWRW, a couple of members now under a temporary ban for what I consider to be unforgivable behavior.  T/G became a board elder in the eyes of many, had many friends here, and was accepted by most.  I even learned to tolerate him.  Yet he had pursued a path of failure for 10+ years and wasted tens of thousands of dollars,,, by his own admission.   He often gave out bad advice or really bad suggestions to the freshmen, and was almost always unanimous in his support for lost causes and stupid fantasy driven individuals.   He called it "rooting for the underdog", I said it was dumb to encourage people to do idiotic things and champion the obvious train wrecks.  I also caught quite a lot of flack for saying so.   Does anyone recall the PhotoGuy epic?  'nuff said on that score.

However the bottom line seems to be for some,,, say what you think people want to hear for a few months and you will gain credibility in the eyes of many.   Always tell the newbie to follow his fantasy, cheerlead the losers into dead end one week wonder relationships, be the first to say things like; "She's your dream girl, go for it~!" for every obvious scam, always defend nonsense loudly and prolifically, and a lot of people will love you.   

I choose not to go down that road, and I have only earned grudging respect from a few.  Mostly I earned the ire, and even hate, from many men who were totally wrapped up in the agency hype.  I don't subscribe that hype which says: "Every man, regardless of his age, looks, or economic standing, deserves a model quality girl 20+ years his junior, who will cook his meals, clean his doublewide, love him, give him fantastic sex 5 times a day, and be grateful forever if he dons the mule suit and allows her to escape the poverty ridden hovel she is living in now. 

I've always believed the old adage, "If it looks too good to be true,,,it probably is".  I never know who or what advice a newbie will follow when he walks through the door here, but there are good men here who offer sensible suggestions to the newbie, then there are the nutbags who are themselves fantasy bound. 

I think it's up to the newbie to decide who has credibility and who doesn't.

[Vaughn]

I consider the preceding post to be the
Gettysburg Address of this thread.

Great thoughts, jb.

[William3rd]

So- does that mean we are going to free our slaves in the south?


JB- very well thought out post and I hope that you continue to point out the pitfalls, errors and ommissions as they are posted here.

[tim 360]

JB,  Very well stated, not quite The Gettysburg,  but a great Declaration of Principles.

I would not think a reasonable person with basiic reading comprehension skills and 1/2 a brain would give much credibility to a 10 year wonder.

The epic?  Ah yes. :selfharm:

[William3rd]

Yet- even 10 year wonders are a wealth of information. What they tried, where they failed, where they succeeded.

I have been in the foriegn bride arena for over 15 years myself. Back in the days when cherryblossoms was a slick catalogue that you ordered via newspaper personal ads and the photos were usually blurry and shadowy.

[KenC]

OK guys, I think we are not addressing one factor of credibility here and that is the credibility of members who also have a financial interest in this process.  How do you think they have handled the credibility issue?  We recently had a huge thread on guides where two guides participated.  Were their posts credible?  How about the agency owners that regularly post here?  Are their posts self serving or just informative?
KenC

[groovlstk]

I choose not to go down that road, and I have only earned grudging respect from a few.

JB, don't sell yourself short, you've earned respect from a lot more than just a few of us folks. You probably don't remember it, but after my very first trip to Ukraine years ago, I did a TR and you hit me with a clue bat that, as painful as it was, rang absolutely true.

And if you notice, the guys who tend to chase silly fantasies don't hang around here much after their balloon gets poked a few times.

I was thinking about this thread and it would be hilarious to collect some of the more insane stories from the archives. Remember the guy who was writing to the chaste Ukrainian gal who lived as a nun and gave up sex (until he met her, of course), the "nun in heat"? Or the 70ish guy with a bunch of kids (6?) who thought Russia or Ukraine was crawling with 30ish women just dying to marry his wrinkled butt and make more babies? Or the cuckolded musician who just managed to get his K1 girl out of the US before she screwed every guy in town (sadly, his story was true but like Maxx's should be required reading for new guys).

[I/O]

OK guys, I think we are not addressing one factor of credibility here and that is the credibility of members who also have a financial interest in this process.  How do you think they have handled the credibility issue?  We recently had a huge thread on guides where two guides participated.  Were their posts credible?  How about the agency owners that regularly post here?  Are their posts self serving or just informative?
KenC

Were the posts credible? Maybe, I was far from convinced.  Personally I view comments from ANYONE who has a pecuniary interest in ANY given subject VERY circumspectly.  That, to me, is just basic good sense.

I/O

[KenC]

Yet- even 10 year wonders are a wealth of information. What they tried, where they failed, where they succeeded.

I have been in the foriegn bride arena for over 15 years myself. Back in the days when cherryblossoms was a slick catalogue that you ordered via newspaper personal ads and the photos were usually blurry and shadowy.

William,
I have always enjoyed the history lessons Turbo could share about the early days of this process and he was always a wealth of good information regarding travel and such.  I just always questioned his approach and methods as his track record speaks for itself.  And that is the point here isn't it?  What is the track record of the person giving the advice?  I know that I have been called out more than once about "bragging" about the length of my marriage, but I think that that is my track record for others to judge the validity of my advice.  Does my 9 years together with my wife make my advice infallible?  Hardly, but it does show that I might be doing something right.

The other thing to consider is the members participation in forums.  I have particpated in forums for many years as have many members here.  One does tend to learn about the process from all prospectives just by reading others experience.  I know much more about different agencies and even the methods of searching than I ever knew when I was meeting my wife.  I still try to limit my advice to what I know first hand, but occasionally I can say this or that worked for others and you might try it.  In the end, it is almost all just common sense anyway.
KenC

[William3rd]

Ken- You have a success. Bottle it and sell it on the market. You have information that hasnt even been tapped yet.

[I/O]

In the end, it is almost all just common sense anyway. KenC

True but.  And.....this is the whole point of this type of board, the wannabes, and I put myself in that realm, even if we kid ourselves we have a bit of sense, DO NEED a "Yard Stick" to bounce ideas off because it is all too easy to get off on some tangent of thinking which has a whole host of problems we can't see. 

Ken, I have the gut feeling, although there is more information around now, the game has gotten a lot more dicey (in some ways) than it was 10 years ago and as such, information, good information, CREDIBLE information, is all the more necessary.  Regardless of what others think, I for one appreciate the generousity of the guys who really don't have much left to gain from these sites.  Keep GOOD SOUND information in front of people and that becomes a credit to everyone.

I/O Who picks out certain posters and reads everything they write regardless of the subject or thread.

[KenC]

William & I/O,
Thank you for the compliments, but in the end, the success or failure of any couple solely depends upon the sincerity they have in their hearts to each other.  No matter how things have changed in the landscape of this process, it still boils down to one woman and one man and how they truly feel about each other.  Nothing else matters, really.  I found a woman that I fell totally in love with and she loves me back the same.  That is my success.
KenC

[TwoBitBandit]

I choose not to go down that road, and I have only earned grudging respect from a few.  Mostly I earned the ire, and even hate, from many men who were totally wrapped up in the agency hype.

JB, I respect you and your opinion.  Sometimes the way your express your views is a little blunt, but sometimes it's called for... especially with newbies or one-week wonders that are drinking the kool-aid.  Your advice and intuition is often right-on.

[tim 360]

Yes, William a 10 year wonder should have some useful info and it is up to the new reader to filter and select just which info to put credence into.  It is usually easier to recognize anothers mistakes than to recognize out own.

[Rvrwind]

Quote from: KenC on Yesterday at 18:24:44
OK guys, I think we are not addressing one factor of credibility here and that is the credibility of members who also have a financial interest in this process.  How do you think they have handled the credibility issue?  We recently had a huge thread on guides where two guides participated.  Were their posts credible?  How about the agency owners that regularly post here?  Are their posts self serving or just informative?
KenC


Were the posts credible? Maybe, I was far from convinced.  Personally I view comments from ANYONE who has a pecuniary interest in ANY given subject VERY circumspectly.  That, to me, is just basic good sense.

I/O

I agree that the info should be circumspect but deffinitly not dismssed out of hand.
I've been in this game for many years & I was a client or whatever you want to call it for many years before I became an agency owner (I remember the old Cherry Blossoms catalogue too). I have also been posting to various boards for seveal years. Does that make my advice any less credible? I think not.
If it is not trying to sell somebody on my services but merely giveing advice I think it should be taken in the same vien as any other poster.
I will be the first to admit that sometmes I do hint or mention my business, sometmes it is difficult not to. But I do try to participate as a regular poster without trying to solicit business. That I try to save for the agency section which is what it is meant for.
To outright say that my advice is below par or less than usefull because I own an agency then my participation here is a waste of my time & the time of all those who read my posts.
As an 'honest' agency owner, I have insights that the outsiders don't have & I personally I think that has much value in its own right. I think a balanced opinion without the agency hype is a valualble commodity & if there is one think you won't hear from me its the typical agency hype & bull!

[Jazzyclassy]

To my mind as a woman

these credibility test is useful of course , but you are creating a special narrow community then without fresh and new thoughts and without new experiences and new opinions,

you base it here  on your likeness or dislikeness of this or that person , it is not fair! No matter which advice he has been giving.......

I agree on the fact that a member should gain credibility  sure, but I think it should be more sensitive and a little bit more friendly , not just dismiss the person cos he once supported some silly post....

I agree with Chelchov that I read what is interesting to me and I percept this Forum as a  Forum not as my entire Life if you know what I mean

I gained a lot of good things here and a lot of negative things as well but I accept it and I enlarge my mental outlook , range of interests and of course I changed maybe for the best maybe for the worst.....but definately I am having different view now as I had before in some way of course

I do not think that I earned your credibility dear Gentlemen and Ladies:) but that was not my purpose I thought it is just natural to post in the forum what I think sincerely , honestly just how it is  but I failed at some point to suit your credibility items

So my opinion is to be a little more softer towards new members and more understanding ,finally it is Forum  and opened one , public poll in some way , credibility it is not just something you can earn for nothing of course but it is just cruel to judge the person by his first posts and if he has different point of view with the authority that means he has no credibility? I think it is very sad

[BC]

OK guys, I think we are not addressing one factor of credibility here and that is the credibility of members who also have a financial interest in this process. 

Those with 'business interests' tend to dig their holes rather quickly.  We've seen it time and time again. I'm quite surprised they seem to be the slowest learners around..  do make for lively discourse though..

btw a shovel is already flying again in nhb..

[Mamma D]

HONESTY.....Integrity......and sobriety. Sobriety meaning serious, not inebriated!

Respect and trust, I believe these are built on the above traits. And when they are broken, are almost imposable to repair.....and if it/they are , there seems to always be a part of us that holds its self in  reserve.

[BC]

HONESTY.....Integrity......and sobriety. Sobriety meaning serious, not inebriated!

Mamma D,

With all the whine going around, pass the cheese please!    (I love that phrase)

You are absolutely right though 'HONESTY' of the poster is directly proportional with credibility that is afforded by other members..

[William3rd]

What is NHB?

[Bruce]

"No Holds Barred,"  ie. the section of the board which is not too policed entitled "Anything Goes."  Unfortunately or not, one is not allowed to carry on about politics, religion etc. in that section.   

[Dan C.]

Hello,

   I write this as someone who is considering pursuing a RW and who has not gone to the FSU.  I look at those who are here and decide who is credible based on what they write, how they write it, and such. 

  As a newby I have not undergone any baptism of fire because I don't write about what I don't know about.  Many people want to get different things out of this board.  I am looking for information to make an informed decision.  There are some who want to boast or pretend they are some expert when they are not, and the board seems to do rather well at policing those people.

  I tend to give most people, on-line or in face to face meetings, a certain level of credibility, and whether it goes up or down depends on them.  Others may do differently, depending on their personality and life experiences.

Dan C.

[Photo Guy]

Thinking back to when I was a newbie...
Does anyone remember how a couple of guys told me how
my Ukrainian 'date' was not good looking and how another told me
I could do better because she was only a 'shop girl'?

So, in regard to credibility, I was faced with posters who
pretended to know who was right or wrong for me, without
even knowing us,  -opinions based on very little data.

For myself, I find a poster more credible if he or she uses
cool logic and a mature compassion, rather than ridicule
and personal attacks.

I don't think we should label anyone here as completely credible.
Why? Because we are only able to see a very limited view of
the poster's actual life. For example, the married guy with the
perfect beautiful wife, might actually have a crappy relationship and
he has no intention of being open about it in a public forum. They
realize that openness inherently leads to a degree of
vulnerability that they are unwilling to experience.

A poster might be a sage mentor, until you eventually realize
his values are completely different from your own. Credibility
can't thrive in an atmosphere of defensiveness and
bravado.

I respect posters who communicate in a logical intelligent way,
and who show an awareness of the ironies of life, anawareness
of the reality of serendipity, the value of truth and compassion.

I give less credibility to those who are quick to judge,
quick to condemn, without seeing the complete picture.
Again, a cool logic is always impressive for me.
If a poster's emotional tone is severely cutting or sadistic,
it just tells me they are not wise.   -doug

[I/O]

P/G From what I can glean from your post, you think nobody here is truly credible and you don't think facts are very important, you simply feel that it should be delivered politely.

I'll offer some of your "Cool logic" as I understand you are a bus driver, there is an old British comedy called "On The Buses", you should get a copy of one of the episodes and watch it, you'll feel right at home.

Whatever that sh_t is that you are on, it must be good stuff.  Maybe it is those Easter Eggs because at very least, your sugar has gotta be way outta whack.

I/O