Too many women...

[Jumper]

PG said

Jazzy,
You were not pragmatic. You and your boy were foolish, silly, unreasonable, infatuated, another bad example for
the newbie readers...

and this is exactly what divides the two opinions?


they were infatuated..or at LEAST very interested in each other and seriuos!
wonderful!

but tell me just HOW that happened?

telepathy?

or more likely some sort of fairly indepth contact.

if not indeptrh contact ,lots of email or phone,
then simple illusion.


i never advocated in any of my posts guys gettin gin depth to the infatuation or such stage swit hmany women to visit.

in fact i'd find that dishonest and foolish.

if you want to build a realtionship BEFORE meeting the person,, that perfectly fine..??
honourable and romantic

just like locally if you are infautated or in contact with a local girl daily you probably arnt meeting several local girls

but if you just saw someone at the library and asked them to coffee cafe tomorow,,
you might also just ask someone else you saw at the bank out for sunday to golf (for gator)

the people trying to make it different because of flight involved?

anyway please dont throw pragamatic stones at the folks who prefer to not build anything before meeting face to face at least once.
we could be  romantic once we actually meet someone??
 lol!!

the crux hewre, is always how much contact leads to *expectation*
on both sides..

and i apologize, but i personally choose to limit any expectations to zero.
kind of like that girl you asked to have coffee with..you dont know her and niether of you have any expectations,, simply want to meet and see if anything sparks a interest in each other..
is it so unromantic to keep this more like normal dating?

i could have written to many,. narrowed things down to the most mutually interesting to each other,,
 and built some relationship, and expectations,
 thru emails and phone untill finally both of us feeling it was worth meeting..

(hey , some might call that a bit cowardly and simply an exercise to bost self confidence on both sidfe, before committing to a flight, or *needing* assurances and confirmations of some form of faithfullness before even a meeting? )

i'm not knocking it.. at all..
but does that sound more *normal* ?

Thats how many of you are presenting a more normal or honorable situation?
it is certainly more fantasy and romance, as you are banking on an illusion untill you actually meet.
very romantic. actually very cool and touching when it works out.

i'm not offended by that situation or belittling the conept , or people who go that way,  at all.

but strange that many posters on these boards -
 often seem to  be slightly offended at the concept of simply meeting people (yes the RW , listed with mariage agencies for gawds sakes, do this also) ,
 then building the relationship..thru romance and learning about each other , after actually meeting?

what terrible folks to engage in such activity huh?
and they couldnt possibly be romantics , an dlooking for thier soul mate right? =)

 


simple meet peopl ein one country much like they would ij nany otjhe rcountry. or at home.

[Jazzyclassy]

I absolutely predicted such kinda reaction on my experience

What are you defending here , is not gonna work for me  , do your crazy trips to visit several millions of girls at once, that's your philosophy not mine! I honestly  try to understand what you mean and that it is realistic to meet several people, cos if you wont like this partner you might be able to choose someone from your so to say your favourite word , awful to me back up plan, oh my if we all had back up plans we wont be able to commit for one person in a millions years, always waiting and searching for a back up plan, nonsense to me. Not sincere relations from the start to me!

That is already cheating from the start, either you are with this person either not if you do not like him and he does not like you, as Daveman said should just offer him to be friends

 and only then after realising this not going to work out with this person, start searching for another partner, I do not care that this plan does not suit your corrupted way of thinking, your view on morals, that you are ready to just drop yourself into immortal dating with some doubtful people , wasting time, money , emotions, feelings, spiritual health.... and what for??

For then boasting in the forum that take a look at me I am a playboy macho super Latino went to Moscow or to whatever only one time but met like10 girls at a time aren't I  hot???? gee looks like completely not serious and not wise person to me

     
but if you won't like him, what will you do then?
you will be oblige to waste your time with him merelly according to Russian hospitality. as when he have a lot of dates you could merelly drop him dead right here right now
             

if that happened I would just offered to be friends and helped him  showed him Moscow and spend some of my free time with him, but again it wont be able to happen , cos we were friends from the start and it was so amazing to communicate and still is of course , even if we did not work out in this romantic way , we would definitely had fun going to museums, movies, bowling , carting,and so on

but love came along with that wonderful friendship ....... you know guys if it did not work out for you that does not mean it wont work out  for me or for other people, you  always give a very narrow advice  here I want to stress this point!   Life is absolutely  many - sided something is good for one person when for the other it is like death and it is true.
We may only know all the possibilities and  some ways and choose which work out for us, never declare it to be a model of how it should be  and at the same time we should never claim it to be so so stupid and  completely non pragmatic as Photoguy told...

 Oh da I am not pragmatic in that case and I am happy with  that, you are pragmatic and I believe happily married and  I am  not  still married oh am gonna cry now ,see already tears are coming down my cheeks    .........hell no I am absolutely happy with my boy and I am so glad that it happened how it happened in our case that we both were honest with each other and serious, gave attention and love only to each other! 

Once again that does not mean that my plan works for Photoguy, and our other super macho guys who enjoy and pray on those Many visits  , beware guys never walk this way .......my way

How can you be sure  that if you did not work out with this partner, where is the guarantee that you will work out with your 1000 millions of girls queue a?? where in your pragmatic dreams?

My philosophy is simple , I am not such type of person who is  for example in bed with one person and at the same time calling to another one : Oh darling honey where will we meet oh I am just slightly busy how about 16.00 at the cafe ........ then in the cafe with that 2 one and is smsing to 3 one oh sexy let us just find some remote place to have romantic dinner , when ...at 20.00 restaurant Prague oo that will  be perfect , later sexy..... then being with  3 one she is coming  to the toilet and calls the 1 one with whom she was in bed and in despair tells him oh darling I am stuck here at my parents they have a gaz problems in the kitchen I have to stay and support and help them in this  situation , will you cope without me  sweet honey oooo good boy darling bye bye.... end of the story

To me those many visits at one trip looks like that , which is cheating , mean , looks like something which we all wont say outloud here free kinda dating, for me this situation is a sin! Always to cheat to invent some situations.... awful and if you tell honestly to the person you know am meeting not only you so just accept it, I would just send such guy to the waste basket I do not need a guy who can not see me as a unique the only one individual for him , if he wants to surf for another women let it be so but without me

Well the possibility of those many visits in one trip can be only when this guy is not promissing anything to those girls and that he visits them only as friends  nothing more then it would be perfectly fine to visit 2 or 3 friends not more

but again if you already feel some nice warm kind romantic feeling for the person you simply can not divide yourself , you belong only to this person

once again that is how it works for me , not necessarily for you dear macho men of our RWD community

[timothe]

But let me ask you this.. why, even with Russian Hospitality, would a woman continue 'date' a man if she doesn't like him??  I would prefer to know the truth the moment she knows for herself that I am not a good match for her.  I would not think she owed me anything if we met and had zero chemistry together,... even if she were the only woman I went to meet... which is why we carry the number of an agency or two to meet other ladies.


Dave

On my first trip, I went WOVO and met a girl that did not like me, yet she tried to make sure I didn't meet anyone else for the rest of the trip.  (I eventually got POed and wandered off, to my benefit)  She was holding on because she was going to try to like me even though she didn't like me, so she could justify in her own mind going to America with a guy she didn't like.

On my second trip, I scheduled more than one woman to visit but didn't spend enough time with the one that I really liked.  I arranged a 2nd visit with her, but our relations fell apart in the three months I was away.  (there probably wasn't much there to begin with)

On all subsequent visits, I've gone back to WOVO until I found one I liked.  WMVM was too much emotional stimulation for my peanut brain. 

[catzenmouse]

Jazzy,
You were not pragmatic. You and your boy were foolish, silly, unreasonable, infatuated, another bad example for
the newbie readers...
...and I SALUTE YOU!  (because you 'succeeded')   
...yet another example of 'breaking the rules' and succeeding through an attitude of
'commitment'.

... and let's not forget that they can communicate with each other without a middleman as Jazzy speaks English. Quite well too I might add.

Ken

[KenC]

Jazzy,
You were not pragmatic. You and your boy were foolish, silly, unreasonable, infatuated, another bad example for
the newbie readers...
...and I SALUTE YOU!  (because you 'succeeded')   
...yet another example of 'breaking the rules' and succeeding through an attitude of
'commitment'.

Succeeded at what?  People reach Jazzy's level of "success" after a week together!!  Success as I see it, is still up in the air and a great hope for sometime in the future.  I wish her well, but it is far too early to claim much of any "success."
KenC

[wiz]

Succeeded at what?  KenC

KenC

Won the first round on the dating game and now they are enthralled with each other.
A very good sign for success in the future.

[WmGO]

Jazzy, I commend you on your romantic ideals and I wish the Lord's blessings on your relationship with your boyfriend.

One thing I must say though, it is improper to negatively judge or critisize  other people for deploying methods for searching for a spouse that are different from you own. And I of course think it is improper for others to negatively judge how you met your boyfriend. This should be a place of encouragement regardless of methodology. There is nothing wrong with WOVO, WMVO, WMVM, Write None Just Fly by the SEAT of Your Pants, it is all good...everybody is different and every body has a different level of risk they are willing to take...

Good luck!

[KenC]

KenC

Won the first round on the dating game and now they are enthralled with each other.
A very good sign for success in the future.

Wiz,
That is a VERY small first step in a long long journey to "success."  That was my whole point,  Many potential pitfalls and problems to overcome before anyone can declare "success."  As you well know.

My comments were not meant to be discouraging to Jazzy in any way but to put Photoguy's comments in perspective.  He "succeeded" in convincing a woman to come to him for 90 days only to ultimately "fail" in the big picture of this.  I only wish her the best.
KenC

[Jumper]

Jazzy-
i was never putting down that style of meeting..
but my typing was awful and I can see how it could be misunderstood.
Unfortunantly, I'm known for not being very clear ! ask anyone


 i was simply annoyed that  the people who prefer to meet only one person ,that they have built a relationship thru correspondence with, often  put down any other *style*..
as they are wired to become romatically involved first,, and thats fine !!
but they can't even imagine a person choosing not to.?
much less two people choosing not to,but still wishing to "just meet"

They often label it something less than moral or underhanded,
and it doesnt have to be that way.


if you read my post well,
 i mentioned i had almost zero contact with anyone and zero expectations.Just the same as flying into any city.. anywhere and simply meeting a someone.
The FSU wasnt special in that regard. Not for me.Why treat it differently than any US city ? or european city?
If (back then) i flew into san diego.. and had lined up some date,
(off of match.com for the sake of debate on this board)

she sure as heck isn't going to ask me if i lined up someone else in atlanta ,the city i was in last week, or daytona ,
the city i would be at a week from then (for example)
I may have, or may not,,
but at that point in our contact, its not her business to ask.. nor mine to ask her about her last weeks plans ,or expect anything from her as well ? wether its new york or kiev , makes NO DIFFERENCE.

you see jazzy at that time in my life, i was in prague with work one week, LA the following week, geneva a couple of weeks later , then maybe to kharkov or kiev or dnepro another week..
you think i needed to spell out my plans to each girl i might meet beforehand in each city? Nor did i have any need, or even time,  to build a *virtual* email relationship with a person i hadnt met yet,, or know anything about? it dint make sense to me-
I might meet the one special person in the next seat in the plane tomorow.. whos to know?

anyway
I  did not *expect* anyone in the FSU to meet me,,
 if they could,,then GREAT! lets have some fun and see if we like each other,, thats all!
if they had other plans ,thats was also ok!! no worries!
 
and , if they were listed with a marriage agency, and  had meetings with  another person..thats expected as well!!
Most Russian women ,that the men from this forum meet ,
are signed up in an marriage agency afterall.and meeting people is the whole idea.

That is already cheating from the start, either you are with this person either not if you do not like him and he does not like you

very noble,, but calling it cheating is accurate from your viewpoint of already establishing a relationship before even meeting.

not everyone does.
If i dont know the person, and havnt traded emails or phone calls, only arranged to meet ,if they were also interested..
its cheating? give me a break.

my wife met other people the same week i met her..
big flippin deal..I wasnt cheating..?? LOL

it is not cheating if you are not even sure you WILL meet each other..some people just have a passing interest in meeting other people, if something happens fine, if it doesnt , thats ok too..
 you have a rather limited view of a few things.


One thing  is,, many of the married people on here,met thru more natural channels, random chance meeting while in another country , thru work , students, vacation , or other common ways.


Were you listed in a marriage agency?
I dont think you were?


As i stated before, i completely respect those who build a relationship thru correspondence and phone calls and then visit each other to build the relationship further.

but they should also respect those that choose not to build a relationship by email or phone,,
and prefer to simply meet someone face to face before attempting to build anything.
afterall thats how life generally works anyway.
(yes both RW and WM do this )


I wish success and happiness no matter how people meet thier life partners..

[Jazzyclassy]

Thank you  Dear Catzenmouse, KenC, Wmgo, Wiz for wishing me the best I wish you all the very best as well:)

Dear AJ

       If i don't know the person, and haven't traded emails or phone calls, only arranged to meet ,if they were also interested..
its cheating? give me a break.
         

Oh I agree you had a different situation and I never told that it was bad it was just different from mine that is all:) but such thing worked out for you ,you are happily married and God bless you and your wife , very beautiful couple by the way:),here we have been emailing each other every day , chatting via yahoo all the working day every day and then in the evening were talking on the phone for 3 hours or so everyday , of course we got used to each other so much of course it is natural.


About agencies I never were in any , only at friends sites like WAYN and  my space

    you have a rather limited view of a few things.
       

Oh I know about that am working on it , improving  it , it is very hard but I try , when people point at me my lacks I suddenly feel ashamed cos I know my lacks perfectly  and really try to be better , but sometimes just so busy that have no time to sit and think about my behaviour and character , but I know what you mean here and I agree

  but they should also respect those that choose not to build a relationship by email or phone,,
and prefer to simply meet someone face to face before attempting to build anything.
afterall thats how life generally works anyway.
                 

Of course that was what I was talking about I do respect those people, it was just I wanted people to not advise only one way , only this kinda dating, that is why I showed my example that people can also feel the same building some virtual communication the other thing as Ken C told that nothing is yet known how it will be, I can partially agree cos we will meet already for the 3 time and still it is only dating cos I have one year left at Uni and he is studying to be Air Traffic Controller he needs one year too and nobody knows which way it will lead,of course I hope for the better ,well who knows
 
But I do respect those who just meet people and it occur that they suit each other so much as long as this plan works for them , that is cool:)

[Daveman]

Oh I know about that am working on it , improving  it , it is very hard but I try , when people point at me my lacks I suddenly feel ashamed cos I know my lacks perfectly  and really try to be better , but sometimes just so busy that have no time to sit and think about my behaviour and character , but I know what you mean here and I agree


Of course that was what I was talking about I do respect those people, it was just I wanted people to not advise only one way , only this kinda dating, that is why I showed my example that people can also feel the same building some virtual communication the other thing as Ken C told that nothing is yet known how it will be, I can partially agree cos we will meet already for the 3 time and still it is only dating cos I have one year left at Uni and he is studying to be Air Traffic Controller he needs one year too and nobody knows which way it will lead,of course I hope for the better ,well who knows

Jazzy,

Perhaps one thing which is important to note here is something we call in English "semantics" (which is the theory, system, or application of 'meanings').  Everyone has a slightly different definition of "success".  In relations,  it's pretty simple really - if you are happy in your relations, you are currently in a "successful" relationship.  Any relationship is successful - until it isn't.  It's an ongoing process as is life itself.  You are in a stage in your relationship, if that stage were not "successful", you would not be growing together and looking ahead to the next stage.   

I am pretty sure one of the arguments around the declaration of "success" is the use of the term "succeeded", as if it is a done deal and victory has been declared.  Have you succeeded? Well, sure, in one aspect - you've met someone you care deeply about, and who deeply cares about you. 

But really, if you think about it, the use of this word "succeeded" in relations is completely meaningless because the two of you will either grow closer together, grow in the same direction, or grow apart.. at any point in your life together - now, or 20 years from now.  A visit may have "succeeded", someone may have "succeeded" in getting married.. but that doesn't mean their relationship will always be "successful"... being "successful" is determined by what you both put into it each and every day... and you can only put something into it *now*.

Plan for and work toward a goal of tomorrow, but whether you are "successful" depends on where you are and what you are doing at *this moment*. If you are both happy, you are successful in your relations "right now".  And now, this moment, is the only part of any relationship that is *real*.

As far as your personality, there are some very beautiful parts of you which come through in your posts, shining brightly.  We all strive to improve ourselves in one way or another.  The only real question anyone can ask is simply this... "If I were someone else, looking back at me... would I be someone whom *I* would respect."   I think you already know the answer to that one.  So working on your "lacks" as you call them, is merely a part of growing in life and unless we are brain dead idiots, none of us ever stop growing and hopefully improving as we gain deeper understanding of those things in us and around us.

Probably more blatherings from a half deranged mind... but hey.. it works for me.. 

Dave

[catzenmouse]

but my typing was awful and I can see how it could be misunderstood.

That is just a cruel rumour started by unscrupulous people who don't like you AJ!

Don't worry, we still love you... 

Ken

[Daveman]

On my first trip, I went WOVO and met a girl that did not like me, yet she tried to make sure I didn't meet anyone else for the rest of the trip.  (I eventually got POed and wandered off, to my benefit)  She was holding on because she was going to try to like me even though she didn't like me, so she could justify in her own mind going to America with a guy she didn't like.

On my second trip, I scheduled more than one woman to visit but didn't spend enough time with the one that I really liked.  I arranged a 2nd visit with her, but our relations fell apart in the three months I was away.  (there probably wasn't much there to begin with)

On all subsequent visits, I've gone back to WOVO until I found one I liked.  WMVM was too much emotional stimulation for my peanut brain. 

Timothe, that first lady you met... so she just wanted to go to America, a GCG?  Or did she really want a relationship, so tried to make it happen? 

WMVM would be too much emotional stimulation for me too.  Kuna mentioned the same kind of feeling as well.  The only way I could plan to visit many would be in a situation like AJ is talking about, where there little to no writing ahead of time and just meeting and dating once you are there.

Dave

[timothe]

Timothe, that first lady you met... so she just wanted to go to America, a GCG?  Or did she really want a relationship, so tried to make it happen? 

WMVM would be too much emotional stimulation for me too.  Kuna mentioned the same kind of feeling as well.  The only way I could plan to visit many would be in a situation like AJ is talking about, where there little to no writing ahead of time and just meeting and dating once you are there.

Dave

I don't think she was a GCG, but she couldn't hide her distaste for my appearance.  Yet she still felt the need to try to "hijack" me for the entire 10 days while she tried to like me.  It took me until Day 8 to get out because I didn't have a backup plan or a local agency contact.

To say that she tried to make it work would be an overstatement because her body language told me that she was disgusted with my appearance and this disgust showed up over and over again while I was there.  (I really don't think I look that bad, but I am overweight by about 100lbs.)

I think she felt some sense of obligation for me as well as she made sure I got back to the airport on time.

Keep in mind, this was after 5 months of letter writing and a few phone calls.  The letters were steamy and long.  We discussed many important things about our relations before we ever met.  She called me her prince before we met and then had the unmitigated gall to call me her prince after I got back home as well.  Evidently, she liked the email relationship with me better than the actual meeting.  Strange. 

[KenC]

I don't think she was a GCG, but she couldn't hide her distaste for my appearance.  Yet she still felt the need to try to "hijack" me for the entire 10 days while she tried to like me.  It took me until Day 8 to get out because I didn't have a backup plan or a local agency contact.

To say that she tried to make it work would be an overstatement because her body language told me that she was disgusted with my appearance and this disgust showed up over and over again while I was there.  (I really don't think I look that bad, but I am overweight by about 100lbs.)

I think she felt some sense of obligation for me as well as she made sure I got back to the airport on time.

Keep in mind, this was after 5 months of letter writing and a few phone calls.  The letters were steamy and long.  We discussed many important things about our relations before we ever met.  She called me her prince before we met and then had the unmitigated gall to call me her prince after I got back home as well.  Evidently, she liked the email relationship with me better than the actual meeting.  Strange. 

This story goes to show how a fantasy relationship established through emails and phone calls can be far different from the reality of face to face time.  What a waste of time effort and emotion not to mention money!  Keep it real folks, even if reality isn't kind, it is still better than living in a fantasy world of untruths.
KenC

[Jazzyclassy]

I don't think she was a GCG, but she couldn't hide her distaste for my appearance.  Yet she still felt the need to try to "hijack" me for the entire 10 days while she tried to like me.  It took me until Day 8 to get out because I didn't have a backup plan or a local agency contact.

To say that she tried to make it work would be an overstatement because her body language told me that she was disgusted with my appearance and this disgust showed up over and over again while I was there.  (I really don't think I look that bad, but I am overweight by about 100lbs.)

I think she felt some sense of obligation for me as well as she made sure I got back to the airport on time.

Keep in mind, this was after 5 months of letter writing and a few phone calls.  The letters were steamy and long.  We discussed many important things about our relations before we ever met.  She called me her prince before we met and then had the unmitigated gall to call me her prince after I got back home as well.  Evidently, she liked the email relationship with me better than the actual meeting.  Strange. 

dear Timothe it is awful what you described

but I know that such situations are happening so often , I even remembered this topic in the forum  on the other site LL  where one woman was describing her disgusted emotions about one guy from the Uk who visited her she was like 30 and he was like 50 and she posted in the forum all the bad things called him names told that she was such a victim to tolerate him and she even had to sleep with him and bla bla bla , so she acted awfully , crazy woman , but she never knew that the guy was still there on that site and he came on the forum and posted that it was him who visited her and he told the other side of the story that she never told him from the started that she never liked him , she was accepting presents from him for her and for her kid and all these kinda stuff

so I remember I was so revolted with that topic and could not believe  that there are such crazy scammer women , who have double standards.....

I agree that reality is much more better of course and I always was for reality relations but well sometimes it happens like this in life and am sure people who believe and truly love and do things to be together it will all be successful , gotta always have faith for the better

[Gator]

To each his/her own. 

Please keep in mind that a man making his first trip  has no basis for comparison.  The difference in culture, language and age creates a fog.  Some men believe they can see through it. I could not, and yet I am an experienced traveler and I know American women and a little about European women as well. 

What helped me with my first trip was spending time with different RW/UW.  Out of that jumped someone ideal for me, and I knew it in a very short time. 

If I was required to choose just one woman to visit based on what I knew before my trip, I would have selected the same woman that eventually became my fiancee.  She was the last woman on my trip, and by the time I met her the novelty of RW had worn off and I felt very comfortable.  She also had much experience with American men, so she knew what she was getting.

I will also add that even with experience one can become tricked.  After my fiancee and I separated, I made another trip.  I spent 1 1/2 days with a UW.  She talked me into a romantic trip against my better judgment.  Why not?  Good looking woman, intelligent, personable and I was free.  Two days into that "romantic trip" and suddenly our personalities clashed.  It became the "vacation from hell."  We were at a resort and I had no alternative other than stay -  I did order twin beds.

It is always best to have comparisons  Best for the man and best for the woman. The choice of someone should be based on compelling reasons and feelings, not for fantasy fulfilment, and certainly not because she (he) is the only one I met (or came to meet me).

[Jazzyclassy]

Can I ask you dear Gator

so if a guy young one is traveling to visit one russian girl and do not want to meet other russian girls

according to your postings  for example I can assume that it is not good cos he was experiencing the time only with one russian woman , so that means there is a possibility for him to go in the corner one day for other women just cos he had no russian girls to compare ? is that so ? or there are men and men

Or  it suddenly will strike him oh my  I am so young I want to experience more before I stick with one, maybe there are much more better girls  than her and now I am just wasting my time and loosing my greatest chance to be with much more better girl.....

do you think is that how they think?

[Gator]

Jazzy,

Not if the man and woman have built an enduring love, respect each other, understand each other, and are good friends.  If they have all of that, nothing will separate them ever.

There are many, many examples of two high school sweethearts who never dated anyone else in their lives who have remained happily married until death.  Three of my business partners married their high school sweetheart, and are still together after 35, 40, 40+ years.   In fact, they are happier than a couple of other partners with trophy wives.  These three couples did know each other a long time before marriage - they were sure.

Jazzy, I hope you realize that it could be the woman who decides she needs to consider other men.  The soft evidence suggests more RW are doing exactly that rather than AM leaving their RW for another.  How many of these AM thought their RW wives truly loved him when in reality he was clueless because RW and this process are so different from his experience?

Just my thinking.  Other men will have a different opinion, a different experience.

I need my bedtime, paka noche. If you want an elaboration, please ask another question tomorrow. 

[Jazzyclassy]

         Jazzy, I hope you realize that it could be the woman who decides she needs to consider other men.  The soft evidence suggests more RW are doing exactly that rather than AM leaving their RW for another.  How many of these AM thought their RW wives truly loved him when in reality he was clueless because RW and this process are so different from his experience?

       

thank you dear Gator I learned important things from your post  and found that I can agree with that

it referres both to men and women

[KenC]

Can I ask you dear Gator

so if a guy young one is traveling to visit one russian girl and do not want to meet other russian girls

according to your postings  for example I can assume that it is not good cos he was experiencing the time only with one russian woman , so that means there is a possibility for him to go in the corner one day for other women just cos he had no russian girls to compare ? is that so ? or there are men and men

Or  it suddenly will strike him oh my  I am so young I want to experience more before I stick with one, maybe there are much more better girls  than her and now I am just wasting my time and loosing my greatest chance to be with much more better girl.....

do you think is that how they think?

Jazzy,
It can work either way.  I was very sure of my marriage at a very young age.  I married my childhood sweetheart and 25 years later, I was as sure of my love as I was in the beginning,  Unfortunately, my ex wife did feel that she had missed out on other opportunities and our marriage broke down.

All the WMVM is fine and good during the search phase and really it is more of a practical matter than anything else.  I was glad to have met other RW at least briefly, but I didn't see a big need for comparison shopping!
KenC

[Jazzyclassy]

Yes I understood this Ken C

Happy Birthday:) to you !

[Lily]

Wow, does KenC has his birthday today? his profile shows a cake with candle..

where is an appropriate emoticon...can't find...ok..

(imitating Marylin Monroe's voice) ..hAAAppY BiirrTHdayy Mis-ter PRESI--KEN 
 

[TwoBitBandit]

Please keep in mind that a man making his first trip  has no basis for comparison.  The difference in culture, language and age creates a fog.  Some men believe they can see through it. I could not, and yet I am an experienced traveler and I know American women and a little about European women as well. 

What helped me with my first trip was spending time with different RW/UW.  Out of that jumped someone ideal for me, and I knew it in a very short time. 

I agree with this entirely.  "First-trip fog" was real for me too.  Like you, Gator, I've been damn near everywhere in the world, to Europe, to Asia, to Africa.  But there's a certain amount of culture shock that no amount of travel will prepare you for.  Being in another country where you don't speak the language, don't understand what's going on around you, don't know the rules, people behave differently in subtle ways, etc. is very disorienting.  It clouds your judgement and perception, and can lead you to make bad calls.

This is the main reason I advise all first-timers to go on a visit-many trip the first time.  After that, make up your own mind.

If you're going on your FIRST trip to meet ONE woman with little knowledge or experience of the culture, you're asking for problems.  (Double that if you don't have much experience with women in general.)

[Gator]

Comparative shopping?  Perhaps it sounds that way.  I think otherwise.  (By the way, Happy Birthday KenC!)

As with most men, my early years involved dating many women.  It was not until my early 30s before I advanced from awkward high school years to understanding women.  I was building my knowledge base over those years by learning something from each woman and by learning more about myself and how I interacted with each. 

When the right woman entered my life, I felt compelled to marry.  I did not say, "Gee, I now want to get married and who is the best woman that I have dated recently." 

After my divorce from a 25-year marriage, dating AW again presented no problem.  However, dating RW was starkly different: 
-  their motivation,
-  their history,
-  their traditions and values,
-  their vulnerabilities and strengths,
-  the fog of culture and language differences,
-  the age difference,
-  separations and compressed time schedules of RW-AM courtship. 

I was clueless and in a rebound.  Dangerous!   

I knew I was clueless, and my solution was to date different RW and then proceed slowly.  The different RW sped my learning and gave me confidence in my decisions and feelings (e. g., helped me recognize when a RW was sincerely into me, helped me understand if our goals were aligned). 

Perhaps I am just a slow learner.

P. S.  Again, Happy Birthday KenC!  It is time for celebration when one of the RWD icons has a birthday.