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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 174150 times)

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Offline ML

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« Last Edit: December 25, 2016, 09:20:15 PM by ML »
Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Car jacking gone wrong
« Reply #2576 on: December 25, 2016, 03:18:53 PM »
« Last Edit: December 25, 2016, 03:20:54 PM by SANDRO43 »
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2577 on: December 26, 2016, 10:13:49 AM »
When parking spaces are limited.  Watch to the very end for surprise finish.

http://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8G2Mwid5GrCRzl4SkF1RFhQYTg/view?ts=580ca2fe
Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again

Online tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2578 on: January 10, 2017, 09:33:23 PM »
 A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Face-lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had Someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as Well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was ran over by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had Another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the Ambulance?”
God replied: “I didn’t recognize you.”

Read More: Butch’s B.S. – Unrecognized By God [JOKE] | http://thexfrontrange.com/unrecognized-by-god-joke/?trackback=tsmclipMaria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”

Read More: Butch’s B.S. – Climbing a Tree [JOKE] | http://thexfrontrange.com/butchs-b-s-climbing-a-tree-joke/?trackback=tsmclip

Offline ML

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Jacksonville Jiggler
« Reply #2579 on: January 11, 2017, 06:46:57 AM »
We watched last episode of "Odd Couple" last night (recorded from earlier date).

Oscar forces Felix into Internet Dating.
He meets first hot chick, and immediately starts her out with a 30 question survey.
She cuts out on him, of course.

So he hooks up with bar maid . . . Natasha no less!!

Later she brags that she gave him a Jacksonville Jiggler.
Ochka wanted to know what that was; but I didn't know.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2017, 07:12:25 AM by ML »
Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again

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Re: Jacksonville Jiggler
« Reply #2580 on: January 11, 2017, 11:10:55 AM »
Later she brags that she gave him a Jacksonville Jiggler.
Ochka wanted to know what that was; but I didn't know.

Need a flexible woman.  It is a counterpart to the Venus Butterfly (dating myself).   


Online 2tallbill

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2581 on: January 11, 2017, 12:14:16 PM »
Potential Marriage vows


For Women
I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon.

I promise to root for ______ even though I could truly care less who wins.

I vow to love you even as you scan through all those movies without picking one to actually watch.

I can't wait to take your last name - I am going to totally steal your identity.




For Men
I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.

It is at this moment as I gaze into your eyes I think... is it too late to elope?

You're my favorite deputy - I love you to infinity and beyond!

If you turn into a zombie or a vampire, I promise to let you bite me, so we can be undead together.


When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Online tfcrew

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Re: Jacksonville Jiggler
« Reply #2582 on: January 11, 2017, 12:37:12 PM »
Need a flexible woman.  It is a counterpart to the Venus Butterfly (dating myself).

Here you go - has her own jewelry-
Only $1500 on ebay  [and she doesn't back talk]................



Offline GQBlues

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Re: Jacksonville Jiggler
« Reply #2583 on: January 11, 2017, 01:41:35 PM »
I don't remember which movie it was I saw where the term was used. IINM, I think it was 'Be Cool'.

From what I can remember, its' urbanspeak to describe a 'hooker' *jiggling your jag*.

Which then reminded of a Charles Barkley story.

Apparently one night, after doing a B-Ball telecast, he was driving back to his hotel, when he made an abrupt/wild U-turn. A police car immediately reacted and stopped his car. The cops approached his vehicle, and when they saw it was Charles Barkley, the cop asked him if he knew why they stopped him.

Charles: "Yeah, sure of course I know! The U-turn is illegal but I had no choice, officer!"
Cop: "No Choice? What do you mean?"
Charles: "I saw my favorite hooker across the street, and a car was fast approaching her so I had to beat him to her!"
« Last Edit: January 11, 2017, 01:51:57 PM by GQBlues »
Get your RED on ! Gutsy survivor of Obama's 8-year presidency...

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2584 on: January 15, 2017, 02:49:54 PM »
Some of you do not understand the term  "Jacksonville Jigger."   This will help.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jacksonville%20Jiggler


As I said, the act requires a woman with a flexible body, among other qualities. 

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2585 on: January 15, 2017, 02:51:21 PM »
THIS YEAR'S TOP 10 COUNTRY SONGS

                                                                               
10.  I Hate Every Bone in Her Body, But Mine 
 
9.  I Ain't Never Gone To Bed with an Ugly Woman, But I Woke Up With A Few 
 
8.  If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 
 
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin' 
 
6. Wouldn't Take Her to A Dogfight, Cause I'm Scared She'd Win 
 
5.  I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here 
 
4.  My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Miss Him 
 
3.  She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger 
 
2.  She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer 
 
                           And the Number One Country Song is... 
 
1.  It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass out All Day!
 
 

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2586 on: January 15, 2017, 09:34:25 PM »
Some of you do not understand the term  "Jacksonville Jigger."   This will help.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jacksonville%20Jiggler


As I said, the act requires a woman with a flexible body, among other qualities.

And I say, what is described is impossible.
Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2587 on: January 16, 2017, 10:58:19 AM »

Offline ML

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Sex Advisor
« Reply #2588 on: Today at 09:14:17 AM »
Sex Advisor
Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again

 

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