Why men find scammers

[Serebro]

I have read a lot of information about men asking if this or that woman is a scammer or not, about different agencies and other things.

I would like to say the following. I was registered in several websites and 90%(!)of the messages and letters I receive come from people with the following profiles' information:age:above 45, marital status:divorced, about 4 children, 2 of which are of my age or older. Education:high school, or vocational degree.
her age:18-35, he is looking for an HONEST and SINCERE educated and attractive woman for serious relationships.
I will say again: more than 90% of the messages!They all mention at least 20 years' difference and want ONLY HONEST girls to create a family.

What do all these men hope to find?! And what is their model of the family?!
It is hard to believe that so many men hope to find true love and to create a nice family with a teenager!!!

[Mir]

Olya

Well looks like it works.
As you get to know posters here you will find out that the majority of members married to RW have wives 15 to 20 years younger.

[Serebro]

I am not Olya, I am Serebro
The fact that most men here have wives who 15-20 y younger doesn't answer my question.
I repeat, it isn't considered to be normal in Russia. Besides this fact is being discussed in the Russian women's forum and every time someone tells a story about her american friend/colleague in his 40-s 50-s looking for a 18-20 yo girl most women call him a pervert.

[William3rd]

Thank you for your view from a Russian woman's point of view.

Since it is abnormal, then why are the women doing it, in your opinion?

[Serebro]

THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS.
Men constantly think and complain about scammers, why do they blame women all the time!

The age difference wasn't the only point.
I don't know how can a young girl  create a strong family with a person who has children older than her, who has 2 younger teenage children, different level of education(this means he doesn't even know anything about her country or sometimes where her country is situated), he has different background, older friends, different interests.They have very little in common, and he still wants an honest woman and writes to her! that's a mystery!

[Turkey]

Ha this thread is pretty funny.  Any thread that has perverts has to be worth at least one laugh   Anywho, the idea of a generational gap between spouses isn't new.  There have been many through different societies.  The reality is that the concept of marriage was an economic arrangement necessitated by the biology of humans.  The extended period necessary to form the brain meant that there was a longer period where the child was exposed to predators.  Personally, i think that we are at the state where advances in technology (including SOCIAL sciences) have eliminated our need for physical adaptation.

So your friends may be ahead or behind the curve   LMAO! 

ps.  to your question of a model of a family, in the US anyway apparently single mothers is the model to go with... this year was the first for single women to excede couples.... 

[Turkey]

Yowsers you're on?  Well anyways, what do they have in commmon?  Who knows?  Do you?  If they're adults, then let them do what they do and let the chips fall where they may.

It's possible to find true love perhaps.  Heck i'm skeptical but Romeo and Juliet were what 13 or 16 (i'm too stupid i dont remember)?  Let them decide....

[BillyB]

I repeat, it isn't considered to be normal in Russia.

Actually I've seen young Russian women dating much older Russian men at a higher ratio than I've seen anywhere else. It may not be normal but it is more accepted.

I don't mind people with large age differences but it's a sad fact some men do target women that just turned legal. Don't be discouraged Serebro, there may be a decent guy out there for you after you sort out all the crap. Just remember, there's crap in every age group.

Men constantly think and complain about scammers, why do they blame women all the time!

Many men don't think and complain about scammers because they will not be affected by them, fall in love over a photo and send money. It amy seem like a lot of men complain but it's just the guys who been scammed that make the most noise.  

[Serebro]

Yowsers you're on?  Well anyways, what do they have in commmon?  Who knows?  Do you?  If they're adults, then let them do what they do and let the chips fall where they may.

It's possible to find true love perhaps.  Heck i'm skeptical but Romeo and Juliet were what 13 or 16 (i'm too stupid i dont remember)?  Let them decide....

Decide what?!
Most of these men are considered to be losers even in Russia, I don't mean separate factors but I can't understand why the man who doesn't have a good job, doesn't have education at his 55, the man who has divorced 2 or 3 times and couldn't build relationships, who has to pay to his ex-wife and children and has a vasectomy is looking for a young, attractive, well educated, never married girl with good income(because every time when a young girl asks for money for the ticket or something she is called a scammer)from the very beginning?!!!
YES, I AGREE, they can decide, they are adults, they may have a lot in common, but this man may have a lot in common with a 40 yo woman with teenage children, or a lot in common with a 50 yo cashier with adult children and 2 ex-husbands.Why don't they look for true love and the same outlook on life with women who have similar past and similar background?!

[Turkey]

If your looking for similar background or similar past from a WM and a FSUW then I think you need to clarify what that background is.   The environments and the social conditioning are totally different in the two societies.   

If you are argueing based upon some sort of life cycle of needs arguement then I am sympathetic but the reality is that there are always going to be addendums so to speak. 

I know of a number of AW who have married men that were 15+ years older than themselves and who had kids.  They are still married after 4 years.  The reason i'm using 4 years is because that's how long the average marriage lasts here in the US. 

If you truely believe these men and women are Perverts and Opportunists, will you at least hold your judgment to see if they last that 4 years?  And if they do, will you be humble enough to admit that perhaps you may have been mistaken?

[Serebro]

Actually I've seen young Russian women dating much older Russian men at a higher ratio than I've seen anywhere else. It may not be normal but it is more accepted.

Don't be discouraged Serebro, there may be a decent guy out there for you after you sort out all the crap. Just remember, there's crap in every age group.

I didn't mean myself. I have my own point of view .

I created this thread  just because I can't understand why these men avoid  mature women to write young girls without money and when these girls ask for money they come here and complain  and ask if this girls is a scam.
Just think with your head and you will avoid many unpleasant situations.


About high rate of young Russian girls dating older men-I can't agree with you. I don't see them often I know about 8-10 cases where age difference was more than 10 years in my life.And those men were rather rich.

[Turkey]

Hmm, I guess I don't know much in the way of what sort of responses the women get

They should be careful just as men should be careful.  There are a lot of people out there who would like to take advantage of others.  That is a fact and I don't mean to demean it. 

The reason men want to avoid the dispensation of money is because it's one way they can protect themselves from scams. 

For the ladies they should be aware of the sex traveler.  It demeans them and any future WM they may mean....

And to your previous question about why men don't write to older women, it very well may be that they do.  I am very attracted to Billy's method as it seems to jibe with the natural process of natural attraction, dating then marrying..  If that means I a wM has to send out 650 letters then so be it.  Isn't that rational?  Can you think of a better way?  I'de be interested.

[Serebro]

If your looking for similar background or similar past from a WM and a FSUW then I think you need to clarify what that background is.   The environments and the social conditioning are totally different in the two societies.   

I will say again. When I was in the USA I met many good people there.
They were really good, but their background was totally different, some of them had never been to college, we were friends, but speaking about close relationships I didn't see any.
WE could go shopping together, or to a cafe or to the movie, or have a party, that's all.

It was impossible to discuss any serious fact  concening science or politics, to speak about literature, about philosophy, anything, because their points of view were based on the movies(even not documentaries) or something that they had heard on TV and I had read serious books and newspapers and made a research. I just had to smile and nod and let them express their point of view because it was useless, it was a big gap.
If you are not an empty smiling doll it is impossible to live all life with the person who doesn't understand simple things in your opinion, just because he doesn't know certain things, facts that it may be based on.
If you are a silly smiling doll who needs money, shopping, restaurants, talks about clothes, new house and food, entertainment-yes, it may work out.
 

[Daveman]

I am not Olya, I am Serebro

In your intro thread you introduced yourself as Olya.

You'll hear much about scamming on this site simply because for many of us here, our first contact with a FSU woman was with a scammer... and it was the impetus for further investigation into the possibility  of meeting someone real.

I was quite lucky in my contact with the first (and all following) scammer(s) because she used the "L" word on me... which freaked me out.  At the time I was just coming out of divorce and was looking for dates to goof around with, and then in about the 4th letter she began with "of all the millions of people in the world, we find each other.. love this.. love that.. love love love"...  I had no idea she was a scammer at the time, I simply thought she was friggin insane...  so I said to her "WHOA there... there's no way in hell you love me.. what's up?"  And of course, she didn't notice, and kept writing silly emails... then began to tell me about coming to me and would arrive to me if I bought her a visa and ticket..."

Anyway, back to your post... I don't remember the exact statistic, but, it was something like 60% I think of all men on domestic dating sites are *currently* married.. there's a shocker.. so it would seem most are not even serious to begin with except to find fantasy material. Again, that statistic is pulled from the dark crevasse of my warped mind, so certainly isn't exact, but was indeed in actuality a high percentage.

Of the ladies who wrote me out of the blue, most American ladies were in the 30-35 year range.  The Russian ladies were between 20-30 with a couple of 18-19 year olds. (Probably most if not all scammers.. so I didn't bother to write back to anyone with weird English). 

On Elenas Models, the ladies who contacted me first were anywhere from 18 to 45 with the majority being between 25-35.  Not a ton of 18 year olds, but enough to make me wonder what was wrong with them. What are they? scammers or losers? or maybe just nuts? I don't know.

My point is, the weirdness is on both sides.  Pervert, scammer, whatever label we put on them, no one can be trapped by a scammer or a pervert unless that person WANTS to believe it, and throws logic out the window to believe a dream.

Personally, I think about 90% of the world's population is comprised of the intellectually challenged, which would include the 45 year old idiots who write to teenagers (my guess would be most of whom are simply looking for a fantasy on a domestic site, and wishful thinking on an international dating site).  But I'm pretty much an egotistical ass anyway. 

In many ways, by posting on this board, you are interacting with the upper echelon of decent folk.

[Turkey]

Seems to me that you met the wrong Americans   LOL come on you gotta laugh a little bit...  There are 300 MILLION Americans.  If something has a 1 in amillion chance of happening, it'll happen 3 time ROFL ^^   There are bright and intelligent people here, don't give up.  Just as there are in FSu!  Woot!!!

Edit to add 300 times.. . What can I say, i'm a product of public education   Not so seriously, i'm laughing so hard my sides hurt 

[Serebro]

Seems to me that you met the wrong Americans  

They didn't seem to be wrong, they looked ok

Anyway, I do believe that everything can happen in REAL life! Situations can be different.Life is life.

But I do not believe that an honest, sincere, attractive, never married educated girl with a good job and without children can write back to the owner of the profile mentioned in my first post of this thread having SERIOUS INTENTIONS.


If the man wants an honest and sincere wife why not to be honest and sincere, too!From the very beginning!
Why not to add "for having sex with her and showing her to my friends and paying my debts, cooking, and feeding my cats and also cleaning my house and washing my car"

[Gator]

Serebro,

Some questions for you.

What upset you the most about the the men writing you:

-  too old?
-  or, they had nothing in common with you, they were uneducated and/or ignorant, and they could not discuss science, politics, literature, philosophy... anything?

I assume it is the latter because you were born with a brain.

How many women in your high school class prefer watching TV vs. reading about science, politics, literature, philosophy...?  

Why were you registered on marriage agency sites?  Were the Russian men  not interesting to you.  

Maybe you are the different one.  There is nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it is commendable.  The problem with being different - it is more difficult to find someone else who is also different and different in a compatible way.

And I think many AM are looking for a friend and partner, not a housemaid, cook and sex slave.  Yet, I imagine there are plenty wanting the latter combination.  Keep looking.

Perhaps you need some more enlightenment.  Do you understand the concept of debt and how it is entrenched in the American way?

 

 

[Turkey]

LOL!!! Well what can I say, to paraphrase "men will be men".  Men are pigs, yes it's true.  I know it comes as great shock.  If they had their way they would live in their own filth (Yes I can attest!!).  If it doesn't have to do with sports or with sex, well we have a natural off switch that inconveniently turns on.

But hey there is some need that men have for women and women have for men.   And as ugly as that pairing seems to be it does happen.  Somewhere out there, some idiot gal wants to marry me and woe be to her   Just as some guy is out there for you. 

Shucks, seems to me if I told you that joe blow is the wrong guy for you, that you would marry him to spite me!   Yes, I will give you that age differences will be a hamper on the relationship but I wouldn't put it out all together.   Men and women are funny things and if I had it all figured out I sure wouldnt be posting on this site  

Let people find happiness in their own way, if it works then who are we to judge ^^

[wxman]

I didn't mean myself. I have my own point of view .

I created this thread  just because I can't understand why these men avoid  mature women to write young girls without money and when these girls ask for money they come here and complain  and ask if this girls is a scam.
Just think with your head and you will avoid many unpleasant situations.


About high rate of young Russian girls dating older men-I can't agree with you. I don't see them often I know about 8-10 cases where age difference was more than 10 years in my life.And those men were rather rich.

Serebro,

There are probably a hundred different reasons to why older men chase significantly younger women. I know I have nothing in common with someone 10 or more years younger than me, so I have always avoided that situation. I can't answer why younger women seek older men, as you need to ask women that question. Some men may chase younger women to stroke their own ego, or to avoid facing up to their own age and mortality. Some may do it to make themselves look like studs in front of their friends.  Some do it as a form of a power trip. Some of the rare few actually find a soulmate where age was never a reason in their search and it happened by chance, not design. I can't judge any of their reasons. It's their life and in the end, they, like all of us, must live with the choices we make.

[Serebro]

Serebro,

Some questions for you.

What upset you the most about the the men writing you:

-  too old?
-  or, they had nothing in common with you, they were uneducated and/or ignorant, and they could not discuss science, politics, literature, philosophy... anything?

I assume it is the latter because you were born with a brain.
Not really. I don't understand why they think that I may be interested in them. Having this kind of a profile one should at least have a great sense of humour or a great style of writing. they have nothing, they just ask for photos and cameras and also tell me how much they earn like I am a silly daisy who has never been anywhere and can't imagine their position and that they are spoilt and they LIE  to me!

How many women in your high school class prefer watching TV vs. reading about science, politics, literature, philosophy...?  
I am not speaking about high school.I am speaking about older men who are ignorant and who have never tried to learn something, they had a lot of fun, sex, parties, made children, probably cheated on their wives(how to explain 2-3 divorces) and now they want a smart and innocent girl(i am not)who is clean and has never made any mistakes
Why were you registered on marriage agency sites?  Were the Russian men  not interesting to you.  
They were, they still are. I am not satisfied with the type of relationship that most men can offer.I am registered on Russian dating websites, too. I am not looking for a foreign soulmate, I am looking for a soulmate.

Maybe you are the different one.  There is nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it is commendable.  The problem with being different - it is more difficult to find someone else who is also different and different in a compatible way.

And I think many AM are looking for a friend and partner, not a housemaid, cook and sex slave.  Yet, I imagine there are plenty wanting the latter combination.  Keep looking.
I hope so. According to their profiles it is not so.
Perhaps you need some more enlightenment.  Do you understand the concept of debt and how it is entrenched in the American way?
sure

[Serebro]

Serebro,

There are probably a hundred different reasons to why older men chase significantly younger women. I know I have nothing in common with someone 10 or more years younger than me, so .

the conversation has come to "older men-young girls'
It wasn't created like that.

It was not about age.
It was about "old spoilt men with many mistakes" wanting "young innocent women without problems".


It was also about lie. How can a person want serious and honest relationships if he lies from the very beginning.


Turkey, let people have their happiness, why do they complain about scam and misunderstanding?! Maybe they should change the criterias or something else...

[Turkey]

the conversation has come to "older men-young girls'
It wasn't created like that.

It was not about age.
It was about "old spoilt men with many mistakes" wanting "young innocent women without problems".


It was also about lie. How can a person want serious and honest relationships if he lies from the very beginning.


Turkey, let people have their happiness, why do they complain about scam and misunderstanding?! Maybe they should change the criterias or something else...

Hmm.  I gotta tell ya, I love women.  I really love sexy women.  But I really love sexy women who dress nicely.  But I really really love sexy women who dress nicely and wear makeup.

Now if I see a photo of a woman who is a sexy women who dresses nicely and wears makeup and for some reason am moved to write to her have I been misled?

Men and women present themselves in the best possible light to attract the opposite sex.  Hurray ^^  !!!  I'm a big fan, especially in the spring time after a long cold winter

I can only say that there is a great amount of wisdom when the guys on this forum pounds on the newbies to 'just go and meet her!'. 

Seems to me that one shouldn't get too hung up on all the bitter apples and move on to the sweet pastries. ^^

[wxman]

the conversation has come to "older men-young girls'
It wasn't created like that.

It was not about age.
It was about "old spoilt men with many mistakes" wanting "young innocent women without problems".


It was also about lie. How can a person want serious and honest relationships if he lies from the very beginning.

Serebro,

Sorry about misreading your post. I really don't know why the older men who have made so many mistakes chase the young women who really haven't been through any of those situations. Perhaps these older men refuse to accept that any of the mistakes were caused by themselves and it was always someone else's fault. Maybe, they refuse to accept reality and live in a rose colored world.  The question I ask, is why do some of these young women go for these guys with all the problems. Some do it for money, some for GC, but what do the the others do it for?   

[Gator]

Serebro,

You did not answer my question. Nevermind, I will try in another way. 

The title of your thread seems to be that 90% of the men deserve to be scammed because they are stupid.  No one deserves to be scammed. 

Part of your thread talks about your lack of success.  You say 90% of the men are old, ignorant, boring and perverted.  That is the attraction of  Internet romance.  All you have to do is hit the "delete" button.  That still leaves 10%.  That is still a tasty number of prospects, much more than if you stayed home and read Kurt Vonnegut.  You did well.

[IAmZon]

Bravo Serebro!  I have quickly become a fan of yours:)

Yes! It is no big secrete most men are pigs!  Worse still,  if you want to understand most grown up men, study little boys.  10%?  That seems about right.  You are blessed! to be forewarned is to be forearmed. 

Women are not easy either! 

Since I have become active on the internet ... writing .. I find myself write this sentence a great deal:  good people are rare like gold.  I would like to think that most of us who spend time understanding ourselves and our prospective partners are trying to be more like gold, less like coal.