Engaged...Financial Expectations

[catzenmouse]

I don't think he had "hundreds of thousands" to lose.

I was thinking along the lines of being married for a few years, the divorce, child/spousal support, etc. If he's living in a pre-fab home then I'm sure he probably didn't have any substantial assets to lose.

[MaxxumUSA]

Maxxum,
You have a very healthy outlook on this issue.  It really is all about common sense now, isn't it?  The payment for broadband was smart too as I am sure it improved your relationship,  A very nice blend of covering all expenses incurred due to the relationship (or income lost because of it), occasional generous gift and expectations of her continuing her past efforts to support herself.  Bravo!  Well done.

KenC

KenC,

I am curious how you moved your woman here before you got married.  Did you go through the K-1 procedure?  I assume from the way this was worded that you did not use the K-1.

As for the money issues my Elena knows about my recent corporate problems and that I am recovering.  When I visited the last two weeks we had an excellent combination of splurge and conserve.  We splurged a tiny bit on a two day cruise - but conserved in many ways this visit with low cost or free activities also.

All together I believe I spent less than $1,000 in the two weeks.  This is very conservative for me compared to my previous spending habits.

Speaking of which - I am back in the USA as of last night.  I will finish up my trip report soon.  We had an awesome weekend!

[KenC]

KenC,

I am curious how you moved your woman here before you got married.  Did you go through the K-1 procedure?  I assume from the way this was worded that you did not use the K-1.

As for the money issues my Elena knows about my recent corporate problems and that I am recovering.  When I visited the last two weeks we had an excellent combination of splurge and conserve.  We splurged a tiny bit on a two day cruise - but conserved in many ways this visit with low cost or free activities also.

All together I believe I spent less than $1,000 in the two weeks.  This is very conservative for me compared to my previous spending habits.

Speaking of which - I am back in the USA as of last night.  I will finish up my trip report soon.  We had an awesome weekend!

Maxxum,
Lena came here on a student visa which was processed rather quickly, I might add.  t gave us an endless amount of time to get to know each other (no pressure to rush things), gave her a chance to live in America, allowed her the opportunity to travel back and forth to Russia without an Advanced Parole and fit our needs perfectly.
KenC

[KenC]

My first thought when I saw this was to put it on the RWD Calendar. Eventually it might just make it to a National Holiday! 

About 12 hours... he got you longer than anyone else has so far....

So, maybe not a National Holiday but perhaps an RWD Holiday...

Ken

Come on Catman, discount some of those hours due to my sleeping! 
KenC

[catzenmouse]

Come on Catman, discount some of those hours due to my sleeping! 
KenC

You may have been sleeping but I'll bet your mind was still working on that comeback! No Discounts For You!!! 

[Mir]

If he had it in the open with her how he lives then she would have expected it.
From what you have described she was shocked by what she saw.
So I guess he had created a false image of his financial position to woo her.
Still I might be wrong and she might be a bitch, but shy should a woman leave everything in her country only to catch the next flight home?

[WmGO]

You are now engaged to your lady and have filed the I-129F. What financial responsibilities do you feel you now have towards your fiancee while she is there (Ukraine) and you are here while you go through the visa process? What are fair expectations from them? Did she expect you to supplement her income so she could quit her job, if she was working? Is being engaged looked upon the same as being married for financial support? Any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I agree with the posters who opined that before marriage you have very little financial obligation, other than paying for out of pocket expenses associated with processing the visa, perhaps English lessons (hope she can already communicate in that language or else there is a problem), and time missed from work processing the visa app. , travel for same, etc.

I think it is a big mistake and somewhat poisons the pot for WM to put FSUW on a monthly monetary support before marriage. Unfortunately it is very common -  even when there is no engagement and the two have only met one time. People talk, and FSUW compare notes and..........well let me just say that the kind of FSUW that most WM are dreaming of would never ask for OR *expect* financial support before marriage and before she has left her country.