What women want...

[I/O]

asked if My Girl would see if I had a friend that she coud write to.

Purlease take my advice and don't do this under any circumstances!!!!!  Very reluctantly I went down this road and never, never, never again.  You're on a "Hiding to nothing" whichever way it goes. Her friends are very welcome to come visit later and check the market out for themselves, but I ain't tendering any more names, ever...!!!

I/O

[I/O]

I completely disagree with this, just cos many of the guys on this foum have younger wives , does not mean it is a norm, for you maybe but not for everybody and not for the majority!

Jazz: I think you misread the statement.  "Just older" meaning "A Little older", such as 1-5 years.  You maybe part of a group of people who are involved largely with guys "Just a little younger" but do you really think this is the most common example?  I think not.

Nobody is suggesting to break the "Normal" is to be without brains or to be stupid.  What is being suggested is what is the most common example in international relationships.  It is very rare to find a young woman with a younger man in the international arena.  Doesn't mean it's wrong, but simply not common.

FWIW

I/O   

[Gator]

Five Secrets to a Russian Woman's Happiness

1.  Find a man who is a good provider, loves family life, and removes all worries about money.
2.  Find a man who satisfies her sexual desires.
3.  Find a man who shows her a good time, makes her laugh, buys her pretty gifts, and makes her feel glamorous.
4.  Find a man who understands her soul and explains the mysteries of life.
5.  Make sure these four men do not know about each other.

[Gator]

Some of you men are chasing young girls without much experience with men.  I have no idea about such women.

The FSUW I met had a long (7-25 years) history with men, almost always featuring marriage and divorce.  These women are beautiful, and when in their early 20s they were able to attract young stud muffins and other exciting men.  Invariably these relationships ended badly (alcohol, bankruptcy-abandonment, adultery, physical abuse, gambling).  I have yet to hear a FSUW say, "We simply grew apart" (which is the broken record played by AW). 

These experiences made the women wiser, and they started looking for  factors other than those associated with  teenage fantasies. The magic formula for these wise and experienced women is something along the following:
 
-  being able to trust again,
-  feeling secure,
-  envisioning a bright future,
-  having interesting conversations,
-  having fun and laughing a lot,
-  and reigniting her hope for love. 

[Jazzyclassy]

Jazz: I think you misread the statement.  "Just older" meaning "A Little older", such as 1-5 years.  You maybe part of a group of people who are involved largely with guys "Just a little younger" but do you really think this is the most common example?  I think not.

Nobody is suggesting to break the "Normal" is to be without brains or to be stupid.  What is being suggested is what is the most common example in international relationships.  It is very rare to find a young woman with a younger man in the international arena.  Doesn't mean it's wrong, but simply not common.

FWIW

I/O   

Yeah I am sorry for probably being a little fast with  writing my opinion , yes I agree  with the statement above

[Gator]

In an earlier post, I used the term "magic formula".  I think such is misleading because all women are different.  Further, they are indeed complicated and mysterious. 

Instead, we should give credence to what the incredibly intelligent Sigmund Freud had to say: 

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

[Jazzyclassy]

The magic formula for these wise and experienced women is something along the following:
 
-  being able to trust again,
-  feeling secure,
-  envisioning a bright future,
-  having interesting conversations,
-  having fun and laughing a lot,
-  and reigniting her hope for love. 

It is a very good thing you wrote here Gator, to be able to trust again it is so hard to accomplish , envisioning a bright future as well and  having  interesting converstations again  

I had a relationship with a russian guy , we dated for 3 years  only dated, everyday , he never wanted to propose to me either to live together, he just wanted to spend time funny and nice without thinking about the future, of course what a decision could come to my mind only to break up with such a guy who told me horrible things about the fact that if I have a baby by chance he would go away when it will be crying at night and so on . I know it is bad to regret the things in our lives, but I do regret about my young years spent with such a person , of course I do not have bad feelings towards him let everything will be fine with him  and apparently he has a new girlfriend as I heard from the mutual aqcuaintances , which is great, cos he chased me after I told that I no longer want to be with him and it was painful to overcome all these things. And also apparently his new girlfriend whom he knew for like some months he already proposed to marry ,when  to me he never ever told anything about wanting to be married.... interesting is not it?

Woman does not need any fairy tales about how it will happen , well at first maybe she needs but  the main thing is action , man needs to act to do things for them to get together after for example being together for some time!

[Mir]

JC

People can have different needs and desires at different times.
My last GF (from Kiev) was 22 when I met her, she had been in relationship with a local man from the age of 17 till 21. This relationship ended not because of alcohol but because he wanted her to marry her immediately. She did not want this as she wanted to study and have some personal financial independence before marriage and children.
So sometimes a lack of proposal for marriage breaks relations and sometimes a proposal of marriage

[ScottinCrimea]

The number one thing that my wife says that she wanted was someone who understands her.  I have heard this from many other RW also.  Now we all know that this is an impossibility, but she grew to love me because I try harder to understand her than anyone ever has.

[KenC]

Jazzy,
There is no saying how the dynamics of two people will match up or not.  Your ex boyfriend may not have given much thought to getting married to anyone at that particular point in his life when he was with you.  Later he was ready or he may have learned from losing you.

I find your story curious though because I always thought that young Russian guys were rather quick to jump into marriage (or at least engagements).  Lena had many proposals for marriage while living in Russia.  She even kind of had one after we were married!  It seems that this one young man went to Moscow to pursue his ambitions and became a successful bank manager there.  One day he knocked on Lena's parents door and announced that he was there to get engaged to Lena (with ring in hand!)  My mother in law had to explain to the poor guy that Lena had moved to America and had been married for over 5 years (at the time).  Lena explained to me that they had been platonic friends, never lovers and that he was a very shy boy.  It made us both sad for him.
KenC

[BC]

Jazzy,
There is no saying how the dynamics of two people will match up or not.  Your ex boyfriend may not have given much thought to getting married to anyone at that particular point in his life when he was with you.  Later he was ready or he may have learned from losing you.

I find your story curious though because I always thought that young Russian guys were rather quick to jump into marriage (or at least engagements).

Ken,
Jazzy,

No great mystery or curiosity here.. all adds up to not burning bridges until the next is built or found.

Is a quite common occurrence.

Sad, but such is life.

[SANDRO43]

No great mystery or curiosity here.. all adds up to not burning bridges until the next is built or found. Is a quite common occurrence. Sad, but such is life.

Brian, you may be familiar with our saying "meglio soli che male accompagnati" (better alone than in bad company).

It was always a source of irritation for me how frequently a new local acquaintance would tell me that she had "some goodbyes to say" or "an old situation to conclude" before we could move on in our friendship. Most of them seemed to believe in "better in bad company than alone" .

[RK]

Interestingly, at the cafe here in Kharkov a couple of nights ago that Thor has referenced in another post, I overheard my fiancee Krystyna answering that question posed to her by another American at the table. Her response:  #1, a good man to be a future father for her son and #2, a good, sincere man who will love and respect her as a person. That was all I caught, as I was involved in parts of another discussion.

[Turkey]

Now we all know that this is an impossibility,

LOL 

[ScottinCrimea]

I'm afraid that I am gong to have to amend my previous post.  Someone has come forward to prove me wrong.

Well, I do understand FSU and FSUW perfectly.

It's a good thing I got to my wife before he did!

[Dar]

Hi all!  I was just recently reading the ladies board and Lily had posted some thoughts on the same question.  This got me thinking and talking with my husband Henry and we came up with what we feel are some interesting ideas on the subject.

Lily had suggested that RW older than about 25 are considered less desirable by RM and this is one reason why these women are more interested in AM.  Some RW remain single longer either because they have high standards which most RM cannot satisfy or because there is something about these women that RM do not find attractive.  In the former case, most Russian women expect their husband to be able to provide a nice, comfortable apartment.  That means living alone – NOT with the in-laws –  and preferably in an apartment that is owned rather than rented.  (In FSU countries, a rented apartment is considered below average standard of living).  They also expect their husband to have a car and enough money to provide for her needs and those of the family.  Finally, the RW wants her husband to be kind, loving, cheerful, not a heavy drinker, etc.  You often see women mention these desirable qualities on the agency websites and they are being sincere.

In the case where RM do not find a woman attractive for marriage, it is usually because she can’t cook, take care of the house, clean, or he feels that she will not make him happy.  It may also be that she is shy or boring and doesn’t interact much with guys.

Up to about age 23, most girls are at university and have a social network that includes guys who are available for marriage.  After they leave school, they lose this access and it becomes increasingly difficult to find a good husband. 

So, if you see an attractive girl with other appealing qualities on a website who is younger than 23, ask yourself why she is looking for a foreign husband.  Most likely, she is either a scammer or simply looking for fun!  What I mean by this is she would be interested in having a foreign boyfriend who will visit her, take her out for expensive dinners, dancing, holidays, etc.  She will also be expecting him to give her gifts, send her money, etc.  In exchange, she will be happy to satisfy your sexual needs  .  If you are only interested in this kind of relationship, go for it!  On the other hand, if you are seriously looking for a wife, stay with women who are over 23 but be prepared for the possibility that there may be something about her that makes her an unattractive candidate for marriage!

One important lesson in all of this is that it is easily possible for a guy in his 40s to meet and marry a very attractive woman who is 20-25 years younger than him.  My husband did and it makes perfect sense when you realize what RW are looking for in men and the situation they face in their own country.

[Hub]

One important lesson in all of this is that it is easily possible for a guy in his 40s to meet and marry a very attractive woman who is 20-25 years younger than him.  My husband did and it makes perfect sense when you realize what RW are looking for in men and the situation they face in their own country.

- - - - - -

It will be interesting to see if Jazzy attacks a woman who says this with the same vehemence she displays when a man says the same thing.

[MaxxumUSA]

- - - - - -

It will be interesting to see if Jazzy attacks a woman who says this with the same vehemence she displays when a man says the same thing.

I don't see jazzy attacking when she defends her beliiefs.

WHY on god's green earth you boys mention jazzy in your uninportant posts is beyond me.

Grow up.

[Jazzyclassy]

- - - - - -

It will be interesting to see if Jazzy attacks a woman who says this with the same vehemence she displays when a man says the same thing.

Wanna see? ))  not sure I can give this entertainment for you:P

Dar has been here for ages if I am not mistaken , plus she and her husband are not much of an age difference maybe 10 years,( but not like 30 years)  I do not think it is more even if it is more, she has chosen that herself , she wanted such mature guy who will be older I reckon,  plus she expresses her opinion and shares her experience  that this is her personal private choice , she is  not persuading young girls  to marry old men  like some members do here, she expresses her point of view  not implementing it to other people with different views and moral values, she is just showing her situation that's all

I do not attack people, if you do not like how I express my opinion do not read it , it is simple:) or is it on the contrary , you are simply in love with my unique  writing style:P:P:P:P

[TigerPaws]

on the contrary , you are simply in love with my unique  writing style:P:P:P:P

I am beginning to believe Jazzyclassy is a closet feminist which would explain a lot.

TigerPaws

[Jazzyclassy]

I am beginning to believe Jazzyclassy is a closet feminist which would explain a lot.

TigerPaws

I am not a feminist , for me it is an insult, I just see when people are trying to provoke , that Hub was trying to provoke me as many of you do here so relax Tiger if I am a feminist then who are you?

[TigerPaws]

  Tiger if I am a feminist then who are you?

Jazzy I am just a retired gentleman with a beautiful young Russian wife and a 5 year old daughter living the life I have always dreamed about.

TigerPaws

[Jazzyclassy]

Jazzy I am just a retired gentleman with a beautiful young Russian wife and a 5 year old daughter living the life I have always dreamed about.

TigerPaws

That is great, love this life and people please then:)

[TigerPaws]

That is great, love this life and people please then:)

I think we have a failure to communicate because I have no idea what you are trying to say.

TigerPaws

[Jazzyclassy]

yes you do not understand so let's close this flood