Where are all the RW?

[ecr844]

Hello Ladies,


    While talking on the phone with soemone today they brought up an interesting point. This was one which I had never 'consciously' thought of, and always wondered about. Then in another thread 'ste' made a point about ads and it all got me to wondering. I was curious to hear your opinions. It so often seems that on these message boards there seems to be very little participation by 'average' RW who are here and are happily maried and who post online in boards of this nature.

   Since this seems to be the 'norm' that leaves us with two other groups who have an apparent agenda. 1) The RW who are either scamming or are of 'anti-date' mentality; and the men who talk endlessly about the women. Intermixed are a few who are 'normal' but you all definately seem to be a 'minority' group. My question is what caused you to contribute in a forum like this? What do you think would encourage a 'more even' civilized discourse and increased representation and participation of your peers?

Food for thought,
ECR844

[StrawberryGirl]

My husband showed me the questions from jen in projects and asked me if I would like to write my thoughts. I do post on other Russian women's forums but those are in Russian as my husband gave me a Russian laptop when were in Moscow a few months ago. I am told I speak good English but I do not think my English is very good because I have to ask my husband how to spell many words. Maybe it is because we speak 50/50 English and Russian when we are alone on our boat as we are trying to teach our daughter to speak, read and understand both languages and my husband is trying to improve his Russian.

StrawberryGirl

 

[Jet]

Maybe it is because we speak 50/50 English and Russian when we are alone on our boat as we are trying to teach our daughter to speak, read and understand both languages and my husband is trying to improve his Russian.
 

This is a good point. In the case of my wife, she simply doesn't have the time (and if she did, she can think of other forms of entertainment that offer her more personal satisfaction). She's up at 5 every morning during the school year and out the door by 6. Home at 4, short nap, dinner, Kolya's English homework, then his Russian homework, bathing & bedtime. By now it's 9:30pm, Time to prepare for the 4 different types of classes she'll teach the next day, grade homework, maybe catch up on some laundry or housecleaning, and maybe by midnight she can hop in the shower and head to bed so she can be up at 5 tomorrow and do it all again... So, when should she pop in here and field attacks from guys that don't like the answers they are getting? 

Another thing I've heard from a number of RW, is that they consider a fairly robust percentage of guys searching just absolutely too far gone to help. These guys on either a conscious or subconscious level have bought into the hype and would really rather have others feed their delusions then hear the truth (especially when the truth is: "Hey buddy, you have no business in searching for a wife abroad"). So again, giving answers that guys don't want to hear and probably won't listen to, rather than validation, isn't everyone's idea of a great way to spend free time.  :noidea:

[Lily]

My question is what caused you to contribute in a forum like this? What do you think would encourage a 'more even' civilized discourse and increased representation and participation of your peers?

Food for thought,
ECR844

1) my personal interest is shown in my introductory thread. Also, I used to be somehow more comfortable with written word than with a spoken one.

2) Good point. I don't want to offend anyone, but it seems that generally women are naturally more passive and shy than men to express themselves. Also, it takes some guts for a woman to appear on a forum devoted to a delicate subject as this one. Additionally, some women are not comfortable at writing, particularly writing in English. Some women write exactly the way they speak in reality, and believe that their input is of equal communicative value than their spoken word. That is not always the case. I noticed that this cause some misunderstandings here sometimes.

Summarily that would make increased participation of our peers a complicated task.

[catzenmouse]

So, when should she pop in here and field attacks from guys that don't like the answers they are getting? 

Another thing I've heard from a number of RW, is that they consider a fairly robust percentage of guys searching just absolutely too far gone to help. These guys on either a conscious or subconscious level have bought into the hype and would really rather have others feed their delusions then hear the truth (especially when the truth is: "Hey buddy, you have no business in searching for a wife abroad"). So again, giving answers that guys don't want to hear and probably won't listen to, rather than validation, isn't everyone's idea of a great way to spend free time.

That has pretty much been Elena's experience here as well. She's made a few posts and started a thread or two but could not believe the negativity and/or stupidity of some of the responders.

She reads here a fair bit and often my responses include her opinion but mostly she thinks this place is filled with a large percentage of oversized, overego'd, overly BS filled children. We've got a 7 year old at home that shows more maturity and intelligence than quite a few of the posters here.

Ken

[Shadow]

I discuss sometimes posts here with Mila. She is already convinced that if she would start posting here it might turn out in to a flame fest 'Helen-style'.
I am doing all you guys a favour by keeping her out. 

[Blues Fairy]

Like I said in my intro, I'm just killing time waiting for US-Sickos to approve our application, and in parallel learning things about the country I'm about to immigrate to.  When I'm happily married I doubt I'll have time to post here.

[Jazzyclassy]

I've always loved forums, plus it is so good to improve English language and to express my thoughts and to find out how the other people think and it is very interesting to talk to people who have such a huge difference in development and in their ability to think global and it is great to share experience as well , well all those common things really. Plus Forum is my school so to say , cos in real life I am much more emotional and expressive ,forum keeps me more calm realistic and opens my eyes on many subjects.

Plus sometimes I have free time at work so I usually post when I am at work ,

and the last reason is that this forum is the most friendly more spiritual than anyone else i ever attended ,the majority are men and men are more kinder than hysterical women , who are ready to kill each other in rivalry, I hate this really ,better to communicate with men they will never be envious and wont try to start the fight.

[Serebro]

It so often seems that on these message boards there seems to be very little participation by 'average' RW who are here and are happily maried and who post online in boards of this nature.

   Since this seems to be the 'norm' that leaves us with two other groups who have an apparent agenda. 1) The RW who are either scamming or are of 'anti-date' mentality;

Well, it was definitely nice to hear these honest words myself and honest attitude of male members of the forum towards me.
 

the only thing that I can't understand is why ecr thinks that this forum is supposed to be visited only by married couples.(that's what he call "average")And all other people are just "garbage" and he came here to ask us(garbage) why he can see us here and why he can't see people that he would like to see.
 

[AnastassiaAsh]

Well, as it has been said, I think the major reason is just being so busy with their own happy life that there is neither time nor desire to spend time on-line. I also suspect lots of RW are still mastering their computer skills and just don't know about the existence of this particular board, or would like to participate more on Russian Women's boards writing in Russian and sharing there. Maybe because this board is mostly for men who discuss how to find a good RW, while RW boards discuss experiences with finding and living with an AM.

I am here mostly because deep down in my heart i would want to help both men and women to be ultimately happy as i am, to help them in this process and the most important thing is to help them go through as less mistakes as possible, save both time and money, and make their dreams come true. Nothing really makes me truly happy in my work as just a knowledge that I influenced somebody's life. I believe that biggest part of your success in life depends on what kind of spouse you are with and what kind of marriage you are in.

H.Jackson Brown, Jr in his 21 suggestions for success puts this one first and says:

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

Isn't that true? 

[Gator]

Serebro,

Do not take it personally.  It is not apparent to me how ecr is classifying the RW posters.  You, Lilly, Jazzy, Blues Fairy, Mockingbird (and others) are unmarried and not scamming nor opposed to dating.

I hope ecr's correspondence with RW is more lucid.

[Yulz]

Good point, ecr.. It's been a while since I posted here.. sometimes, finding the time to go through the threads and contribute to discussions poses a challenge.. we're all busy people here..
Hehe.. I'm getting a feeling that this topic may guilt me into posting more often   

Oh, and Serebro, what's with jumping to conclusions?

[2tallbill]

While I can't speak for anyone except myself (or especially RW), I think that there are a number of very argumentative sorts who have caused only the bravest of RW to post. They make a post or two then the thread is taken over by opinions of others often on a tangent completely unrelated to the original post.

Although Lilly is great as a moderator, and I like her comments and would rather shove hot coals in my eyes
rather than become a mod myself, I think that when a thread starts running off topic or turns into a slugfest it should be split off and the original thread restored, especially in the ask an RW question section. I think more RW would post if they thought they wouldn't be bullied and every single word parsed and argued as to context and meaning. So while ladies like Anastasia Ash are brave and have perfect English, others less confident will not make a post or they will see the folly of it after a post or two.

Just my two kopecks

Bill

[Lily]

While I can't speak for anyone except myself (or especially RW), I think that there are a number of very argumentative sorts who have caused only the bravest of RW to post. They make a post or two then the thread is taken over by opinions of others often on a tangent completely unrelated to the original post.

Although Lilly is great as a moderator, and I like her comments and would rather shove hot coals in my eyes
rather than become a mod myself, I think that when a thread starts running off topic or turns into a slugfest it should be split off and the original thread restored, especially in the ask an RW question section. I think more RW would post if they thought they wouldn't be bullied and every single word parsed and argued as to context and meaning. So while ladies like Anastasia Ash are brave and have perfect English, others less confident will not make a post or they will see the folly of it after a post or two.

Just my two kopecks

Bill

You are absolutely right, if there is some inclination to the other direction, I try to split topics. So far I did it once, in case when the Jen's question turned into an age debate.

I really appreciate your suggestions on splitting or whatever change to a thread, any time!

[Nat]

I’m here to find out why western men want to marry girls from FSU countries. Improving English and solving some other puzzles is secondary.

  Since this seems to be the 'norm' that leaves us with two other groups who have an apparent agenda. 1) The RW who are either scamming or are of 'anti-date' mentality; and the men who talk endlessly about the women.

Hm... It sounds rude.