All Good Things Come to an End

[I/O]

AJ: Well, it is a case of "So far so good", however I always live very much on "Reality Street" and all the nice things that come with this also come with their fair share of issues as YOU OMB's very well know.

I don't know much, but what I do know is this, a Russian woman will walk her feet off to try to get it right, but with just the slightest encouragement she will run her legs off to the hips. I have no intention of laying it all wide open in this thread, but I hope that it might be helpful for a few guys getting involved in this process and on the selfish side, I am open and keen to receive any advice you more experienced guys feel relevant to toss in.

Up-to-date: Serious tears morning this morning......youn'un started in kindagarten today......go figure. Mother "I is very being strong"......but.....

I/O

[jb]

Three and a half already in school????  You start 'em early in Oz, do you?

Actually for your  purposes it's prolly all good,,, you enroll the little guy in school, and a year later you lave a little Austrailian on your hands, complete with the funny Aussie accent.  The little guy will adapt much quicker than his mom. No worries about him, he's going to bond with a few chums and the urge to communicate will over power all else as he wants to play with his mates.  Besides, at that age their little brains are a sponge, absorbing everything at a very rapid rate.

I envy you, my boys were already teenagers and up when I got them.

[I/O]

Three and a half already in school????  You start 'em early in Oz, do you?

Actually for your  purposes it's prolly all good,,, you enroll the little guy in school, and a year later you lave a little Austrailian on your hands, complete with the funny Aussie accent.  The little guy will adapt much quicker than his mom. No worries about him, he's going to bond with a few chums and the urge to communicate will over power all else as he wants to play with his mates.  Besides, at that age their little brains are a sponge, absorbing everything at a very rapid rate.

I envy you, my boys were already teenagers and up when I got them.

JB: "Kindy" is often at age 3-4, then more advanced kindy/pre school at 4-5 years and more serious pre school at 5-6 years. Generally not accepted in school-proper until 6 Y/O nowdays. He is in a private "Kindy" (40-50 kids total and pretty much first class facilities) for a couple or three days per week for the moment and there is a number of "Cats being Skun" here. 1) He has been in Kindy in Russia with exactly the same system as he is learning here, so a fairly easy transition I suspect and most importantly developing a routine. 2) His language adaption IMO will be best served this way. 3) Momma meets many women in her own age group and family situation each morning and afternoon. 4) Momma's language gets a natural expansion in an enviroment she is familiar with. 5) There is the opportunity for Momma to help out at the Kindy on certain days, so again, something gainful with a leaning towards improving her language and other local cultural skills within an environment she is confident before perhaps entering the workplace proper. 6) Momma gets a break to dash about shopping and exploring. (Which I think she needs)

Bash me here if you think I am on the worng track...PLEASE...!!!

I/O

[Jazzyclassy]

   6) Momma gets a break to dash about shopping and exploring. (Which I think she needs)

         

everything will be great I/O do not worry too much

[jb]

No bashing, All of that sounds like a sensible plan to me.  I do believe there has to be "outside the house" experience if our ladies are to adapt roundly to her new environs.  There is a big difference between guiding, directing, encouraging, and smothering.

[bobcat]

Don't know where you are from in Qld I/O, but tend to lean towards jb here. Get her out and about, and show a few sites. I would personally lean towards having the young bloke enrolling in kinder a little later and have your girl acclimatise with her before submitting both to a structured routine.

A rigid routine was the last thing on my mind when my wife came here, and having her relax was more important than subjecting her to waking at 8.00am to get organised for something less important than the big picture of a new country/life/environment. Not saying kinder is not important for him, but a couple of months for a 3yo will never hurt.

[I/O]

There is a big difference between guiding, directing, encouraging, and smothering.

Right on again...!!! Mother is not one to sit around the house and just relax so to say.  She is also very keen to get the youg'un into a routine so that she can shift her attention a little towards some further formal English study and then the workplace.  She (and I agree) is very keen to replicate her former life so far as is possible for a few months and then look to build on that. Child in kindagarten, (Part time) her studying and working part time is exactly what she is used to.

Anyway, on a lighter note, as promised.............the evidence of the first encounter with a 'roo.

I/O

PS ..And perhaps another slightly different.

[Jazzyclassy]

Awww such a wonderful sweet pictures, you look so cute together Father and son

[jb]

The pic of the lad chasing the kangaroo is priceless.

[KenC]

I/O,
I don't have much to add here as you seem to have all well in hand and have thought things out well.  Just enjoying your posts and photos.  You are absolutely correct when you say these ladies need their own personal time away from your over view.  These women have shown their mettle by the sheer fact that they moved to a foreign country, they surly do not need constant baby sitting.  The sooner they get some small dose of independence, the better.
KenC

[I/O]

KenC: I am a thinker, if nothing else, although lacking a little in "Grey" capacity to think with.

The thing which has come back to me again and again over the last week is that these girls love a leader, but NOT a dominator.  I wonder if at times some guys fail to distinguish between the two. :noidea: There can be a fine line at times, but generally speaking, I think there is a vast difference between the two.

One must be prepared to be something of a babysitter at times but one must NEVER been seen to be babysitting.   Confidence IMO is king. I think we would both have said, that much as we enjoyed the first week, there was moments of hell. Nevertheless, I am seeing, particularly in the last 48-72 hours, as the confidence grows, the real lady I have come to know and respect. It is almost like watching a fresh flower bloom. Quite fun to watch actually.

Babushka is starting to get a handle on English and talk about a pair of "Trouble makers" together. Always up to some mischief...!!! My survival skills may well be tested, but in a way I may not have expected.

I/O

[jb]

The thing which has come back to me again and again over the last week is that these girls love a leader, but NOT a dominator.  I wonder if at times some guys fail to distinguish between the two. There can be a fine line at times, but generally speaking, I think there is a vast difference between the two.

This tells me you've got a good handle on things.  Like KenC said, I'm enjoying your post and the pictures are great, thanks for sharing those with us.

[catzenmouse]

That picture with the 'roo reminded me of Sergei. Shortly after they arrived here, we were living in the country at that time, he saw a a group of 4 or 5 deer through the window. In a flash he was out the door and running towards them. The deer stared at him for a few seconds with that WTF look and bolted into the woods. He told us later that he just wanted to play with them.

Great stuff I/O! Lots of flash backs from reading this thread.

Ken

[I/O]

Catz: Glad this has brought back a few nice memories for you. Kinda goes to show there is benefit for everyone in these threads. On that note, I promised myself not to bombard this thread with photos......but seems a few guys are enjoying them so WTF...here goes.......

I/O

[BillyB]

On that note, I promised myself not to bombard this thread with photos......but seems a few guys are enjoying them so WTF...here goes.......

Photo as much as you want. Everybody loves photos. I think it's good/healthy when a guy has something to show or brag about. I do that myself from time to time.

[catzenmouse]

Totally agree with Billy here. Photo Away!

On a side note. I know your lady is filled with things to do now and is not lacking for company/language but if you want to file this away for future reference we can call Australia for 1 cent a minute so she could send an e-mail or give a quick ring to say call me if she'd like to chat with Elena again.

Ken

[I/O]

Catz: Done deal...!!!! Will exchange details via PM. Skype is working overtime right now.

I/O

[Jet]

This tells me you've got a good handle on things.  Like KenC said, I'm enjoying your post and the pictures are great, thanks for sharing those with us.

Agreed, you seem to be doing just fine  We are also loving the photos - cool stuff 

[Jazzyclassy]

Awww such a wonderful photos I love them , send more 

The boy is absolutely amazing lapochka,

you got such a lovely weather there so cool

[wiz]

Mat

Wonderfull photos but why use Skype and pay?

You can use www.voipcheap.com

when you call a land line .....for FREE..... to call Russia and USA and also UK..........

I do and my telephone bill is just the standard charge now.

Over the past year I have saved a lot of money.

Good luck and enjoy the "married life"

Yannis

[I/O]

Wiz: Thanks. I will investigate in due course. However the cost of skype is negligible. So far there has been 3 or 4 hours calling various mobile's (Cell phones) in Russia and it has added up to a handful of dollars. Nothing in the bigger picture. In almost 2 weeks it hasn't cost $20 for calls, so if I can't grant her that, I don't deserve her.

Yesterday evening I found myself sitting in a nice coffee shop with 3 rather fine looking and intelligent women. Mine, her mother and my mother. I found myself thinking life ain't too bad.

A few pics of Anna, Eduard and Larisa.............

I/O

[jb]

I/O,

That little guy probably thinks he has died and gone to heaven.

[I/O]

I/O,

That little guy probably thinks he has died and gone to heaven.

JB: (In the best Aussie accent) Begger him...!!! I reckon I've died and gone to heaven and have some sympathy for the more earthly beings of this world. I have no doubt earth will rise to meet me with a thud in due course.

More seriously, becoming an instant father (without prior experience) can be a delicate path to tread, however she is more than helpful (in logical ways) and I tend to keep my distance slightly and simply let him come to me when he is ready. Curiosity and a desire to be liked, loved, accepted, whatever, on the part of the little one seems to over rule and he does come.  Just right now, it is the "Hero phase". A toy doesn't work or something is broken, he comes, "Maybe I/O fix"? So far I have been able to deliver or at least resolve a problem. I've deliberately chosen to position myself thus for the moment and I feel it is where the smart money is short term.

On a side note, I am still staggered by the guys who put themselves under the 90 day K-1 gun before they have actually made final decisions. I have a fair capacity for work and organisation but I would have no hope of thinking clearly enough under such time line pressure to make those sorts of decisions at a time like this. My only choice would be to opt out. 2 weeks in and it is just a blurr. Just something for guys yet to go through this process to consider.

I/O

[jb]

I/O,

I can sympathise, but,,, your fears are groundless.  You feel like the circus juggler trying to keep 6 balls in the air all the time, and you are scared to death you are about to drop a ball.  Relax, be yourself, they will love you, for you.  I doubt your lady expects a Superman, your future MIL is happy you aren't an ax murderer, and the kidlet is in hog heaven.  She does expect a good man who cares enough to make an honest effort.  That you are doing so is apparent in your posts.

I couldn't argue with a single thing you are doing because I know that the 1st year together is a bit$h, you can however, make the transition smoother.  You are doing that as we write these stupid posts.  You get an A+ on my report card.

[wiz]

Mat

Reading through this thread I can not stop smiling....... you sound a total typical Taurean...

You are panicking (Maybe!) and worrying too much.....and you want everything to be perfect.....LOL

As JB Said.... Relax and enjoy life now......the young one will be around you all the time....he is a man...and will want to be with you...chattering away and play....or ask for help.

They has invaded your territory...the kitchen (Food...Taurean!)  and you don't like it.....

I love looking so nice photos and the photo of the boy chasing the roos is really priceless..

Good day