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Author Topic: All Good Things Come to an End  (Read 97005 times)

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Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #50 on: August 16, 2007, 09:46:58 PM »
Now we are fretting over whether or not the wedding dress is just right.  Gawd, whadaya do with 'em? :selfharm:

I/O

Offline MaxxumUSA

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #51 on: August 18, 2007, 06:00:27 AM »
Now we are fretting over whether or not the wedding dress is just right.  Gawd, whadaya do with 'em? :selfharm:

I/O


Oh my...

Very simple I/O...  You explain to her that it is bad luck for a groom to NOT see the wedding dress before the wedding.

This "tradition" probably arose by the want of some men to not be involved in dress viewing.  Frankly I would rather be having a beer with buddies than spending days/weeks/years/aeons giving my opinion of such matters.  Plus I am sure she will be beautiful in whatever the final choice is.

Hands off I/O.  Tell her you love her and let her surprise you for the wedding day.

Back to having fun in life!

Offline KenC

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #52 on: August 18, 2007, 06:33:56 AM »
Maxxum,
I think you are on to something regarding the origination of that custom!  "Gee, Honey, I would love nothing better than to go wedding dress shopping with you, but you know, it is bad luck."  Brilliant, just brilliant!

I do have to admit that our "wedding" such as it was, was poorly handled by me.  It just wasn't important to me, but I should have made a much bigger deal out of it for Lena.  Still feeling guilty about it 8 years later too.

You really have to take into consideration how little control these ladies have over their own weddings here.  Hell, I can even understand how important the dress selection is to them as it is one of the very few decisions they do control.
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #53 on: August 18, 2007, 06:40:15 AM »
Hands off
Hmm I prefer hands "on". :P Dunno 'bout you 'mericans, must be an Aussie thing. :-\

Quote
Tell her you love her
Yeah, I did that once. You tryin' to tell me I need to go through all that again? >:(

KenC: Please indulge me to extrapolate your thought out a little further. This wedding thing is something that many guys should consider carefully.  My reason is this. Many of us in these international relationships are "Second time arounders" and many of the women are not.  Every woman, whether she admits it or not, does have some image in her head from a young age of her wedding. IMO women ARE entitled to a few frivolous fantasies for their wedding.  This issue runs a whole lot further than the wedding itself, but many of us who have been through the marriage process before would rather just cut to the chase.  When you think about it, perhaps that is not quite fair?

I/O

Offline KenC

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #54 on: August 18, 2007, 07:03:11 AM »
Hmm I prefer hands "on". :P Dunno 'bout you 'mericans, must be an Aussie thing. :-\
Yeah, I did that once. You tryin' to tell me I need to go through all that again? >:(

KenC: Please indulge me to extrapolate your thought out a little further. This wedding thing is something that many guys should consider carefully.  My reason is this. Many of us in these international relationships are "Second time arounders" and many of the women are not.  Every woman, whether she admits it or not, does have some image in her head from a young age of her wedding. IMO women ARE entitled to a few frivolous fantasies for their wedding.  This issue runs a whole lot further than the wedding itself, but many of us who have been through the marriage process before would rather just cut to the chase.  When you think about it, perhaps that is not quite fair?

I/O

I/O,
Exactly correct!  Our 8th wedding anniversary was Tuesday.  When Lena takes out the few (pitiful) photos and I think about how little concern I had for the "event", I am ashamed, to be honest.  I am ashamed that I put so little effort into a one time event for her.  Lena was never married before either.

My best advice to you is to make the wedding as special as possible.  It doesn't matter if it is your (or her) second marriage or not, it is hopefully the last one she will have to remember.

Lena is not a overly sentimental woman.  She doesn't save little nostalgic mementos and such, but I do believe she would have appreciated a much better event handling.  And it isn't even at the time of the wedding, but years later that will haunt you if you don't do it right.  BTW, I have offered (many times) to have an "official" wedding back in Russia with all the bells and whistles, but she always declines.  You really do only have one shot at it guys, so do it right.
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Blues Fairy

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #55 on: August 18, 2007, 07:23:44 AM »
Very true. 

I'm surprised how careless my guy is about this stuff, and he's never been married.  And I'm too shy to make demands or even bring up the issue too often.  So I'm focusing on the dress - something simple cocktail, so I could wear it afterwards, I guess...  :-[

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #56 on: August 18, 2007, 07:36:26 AM »
And I'm too shy to make demands or even bring up the issue too often. 

B/F: FWIW, DO make those requests, they are not demands.  I have long thought a wedding is the "Brides" day and the groom has only two opportunities to make his mark, that is what (Quality etc) he provides the guests for drinks and what he has to say when his times comes.  Other than that, it is HER day and IMO that's as it should be.

Really, if your guy is as you say, he simply wont have thought about it.  Tell him..!!! Remember this, "If you never never show, he will never never know". It is that simple.

KenC: Some serious admissions there.  Likewise I have suggested the whole "Sha Bang" in Russia also, but she firmly says no.  She does really want to be married here in Aus and jokes that she is only ever getting married once.

Nevertheless, one she came up with within the last 48 hours which I think is brilliant, she will purchase or have printed, invitation cards and table cards in Russia and bring them with.  Small, but a nice way to Russianise things a little.  Anyone else with other thoughts on this one is more than welcome to chime in.

I/O

Offline Blues Fairy

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #57 on: August 18, 2007, 07:53:34 AM »
Yeah but... doesn't the bride's family traditionally sponsor the event?  My family is not participating and I'll be happy to sponsor my own dress and a box of Veuve Cliquot bottles for my friends if they come.  The music I can do myself, no problem about that.  :P As for the rest, it's not my money and not my call. 

Offline MaxxumUSA

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #58 on: August 18, 2007, 07:59:50 AM »
Very true. 

I'm surprised how careless my guy is about this stuff, and he's never been married.  And I'm too shy to make demands or even bring up the issue too often.  So I'm focusing on the dress - something simple cocktail, so I could wear it afterwards, I guess...  :-[

I remember seeing a Sam Kinison (sp?) show.  In case you don't know he's a comedian that SCREAMS a lot.

In any case...  he says:

Women...  if you have a little thing that you really want - something that makes your toes curl with pleasure ----  TELL US!!!

I'm generalizing here - but most women assume we can read minds, and know what your desires are.  Well...  While I have a good knack for getting most things right, a little hint or even open conversation about from the woman in my life will be well received.
Back to having fun in life!

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #59 on: August 18, 2007, 08:05:15 AM »
B/F: Probably another cultural variance.  Here in my country, yes the Brides family does generally sponsor the event, however, it has long been traditional for the Groom to provide the drinks.  (Don't ask me why, I haven't a clue)

For our upcoming event, yes I will be footing the entire bill, including flying her Mum out from Russia for this, (At my insistance) but frankly I think that is all irrelevant. If any of us as guys wanted to start counting the coins in this whole process, we would have gotten off at the first stop. Wedding IMO is one day where she can have whatever she wants. She is not exactly a "Big Spender" anyway so who the hell cares?

There is much bigger fish to fry in this whole process than a few K on a wedding.

I/O

Offline KenC

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #60 on: August 18, 2007, 08:08:27 AM »
Yeah but... doesn't the bride's family traditionally sponsor the event?  My family is not participating and I'll be happy to sponsor my own dress and a box of Veuve Cliquot bottles for my friends if they come.  The music I can do myself, no problem about that.  :P As for the rest, it's not my money and not my call. 
Blues Fairy,
There is so much that is nontraditional in an International marriage, that I do not think you should stand on protocol of tradition.  You need to have a heart to heart talk with your man.  You need not demand, but merely suggest.  (What the hell am I doing?  Telling a woman how to manipulate her man?) :cluebat:

Seriously, all you need to do is communicate your desire to have a nice wedding.  Tell him what is important to you.  Guys are usually just clueless about things like this.  BTW, Lena did the white cocktail dress too and I think it was a mistake IMO.  Your wedding should be special and not a time for being practical.
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Blues Fairy

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #61 on: August 18, 2007, 08:17:37 AM »
I/O I know about the drinks but I wouldn't trust a Scotsman to make his own choices here.  ;D

KenC - It's all very well but I understand a wedding in the US is a very expensive enterprise, and since he's the principal contributor and still responsible for our life after the wedding, I feel I must tread these grounds cautiously. I'll get the Cliquot just in case. :)

Offline AnastassiaAsh

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #62 on: August 18, 2007, 08:37:32 AM »
I would also advise, if you can, to have honeymoon right after the wedding. i had (with Lance) 'honeymoon 2 years later' and it was just like some vocation...nothing in comparison to my real honeymoon with Tim in downtown Vancouver, CA where we stayed in a 4 Seasons Hotel - expensive, yeahhh, but memories are absolutely fabulous, we brought camera and made lots of family movies - absolutely amazing....

Offline ScottinCrimea

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #63 on: August 18, 2007, 11:22:03 AM »
Basically, the wedding is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom.  Neither side should discount the importance of either to the other partner.  Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #64 on: August 18, 2007, 03:05:59 PM »
Basically, the wedding is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom.  Neither side should discount the importance of either to the other partner.  Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!

:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:

I/O

Offline jb

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #65 on: August 18, 2007, 03:26:02 PM »
Quote
Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!

I had been through this a couple of times before I married a RW and I assure you they were more clueless than I was at the time.  The old joke about why does the bride have such a big grin on her face as she walks down the aisle is true.  The AWs really did think they have given their last BJ when they say "I do". 

RWs are very different.

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #66 on: August 18, 2007, 03:46:20 PM »
RWs are very different.

This has been discussed a million times, but I remember saying after my first trip to Russia (Which was not for the purpose of meeting women) when asked of my observations, one thing that stood out to me was that regardless of where you went in Russia, the women still appeared to esteem being women.  It was quite an eyeopener to me.  I still stand by my initial observation years later.

I/O

Offline ScottinCrimea

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #67 on: August 18, 2007, 05:24:13 PM »
And we esteem them for that difference.  :couple:

Offline Lily

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #68 on: August 18, 2007, 09:36:57 PM »
Basically, the wedding is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom.  Neither side should discount the importance of either to the other partner.  Hopefully the bride isn't as clueless about what to do on the honeymoon as the groom is about weddings!

My opinion is that the wedding is for parents and relatives, essentially.
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #69 on: August 18, 2007, 09:44:54 PM »
My opinion is that the wedding is for parents and relatives, essentially.
Nahhhhhh.  Bugger the family and friends, it's our party to do as we damned well like. 8)


Quote
And we esteem them for that difference.
Scott: In that short phrase you have summed up what the entire  (Extreme) feminist movement in the western world has failed to see for so long.  Men, do esteem women who are women and despise women who are half man. Hence the (Extreme) feminists defeat the purpose of their original intention, then spend millions on psycho anyalysis trying to figure out how to fix the problem.

I could give them a very simple solution, take their brains out of the arses and put 'em back in their heads and all would be just fine.  8)

I/O
 
« Last Edit: August 19, 2007, 12:29:38 AM by I/O »

Offline Blues Fairy

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #70 on: August 18, 2007, 10:54:43 PM »
The AWs really did think they have given their last BJ when they say "I do". 
RWs are very different.
in Russia, the women still appeared to esteem being women.

A-ha, so that's what constitutes "esteeming being a woman". I see, I see.  ;D :P

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #71 on: August 19, 2007, 12:28:06 AM »
A-ha, so that's what constitutes "esteeming being a woman". I see, I see.  ;D :P

:ROFL:  Good answer. I am so pleased you are learning something.  :thumbsup:

I/O

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #72 on: August 30, 2007, 04:34:33 PM »
I am not a particularly religious man, but I woke up this morning understanding that, barring disaster, I have a little over a week of my freedom left and I was reminded of a comment from one of the foremost religious reformers of the 15th century. "Here is stand, I can do no other, God help me". :o :o

I/O

Offline wiz

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #73 on: August 30, 2007, 08:25:43 PM »
I am not a particularly religious man, but I woke up this morning understanding that, barring disaster, I have a little over a week of my freedom left and I was reminded of a comment from one of the foremost religious reformers of the 15th century. "Here is stand, I can do no other, God help me". :o :o

I/O
Still time to change your opinion about getting married.........but would you?

I don't think so as it took you so long time to make up your mind.......so God help you!
 :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:

Offline I/O

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Re: All Good Things Come to an End
« Reply #74 on: August 30, 2007, 08:33:42 PM »
Still time to change your opinion about getting married.........but would you?

There is always time to change my mind. I fly this tub with one hand on the pilot eject button. ;D

I/O

 

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