What age would be preferrable to RW?

[AnastassiaAsh]

No offense but why would I have "noticed" you?

My friend, please, did you notice my smilies all over my posts?

As for being experienced that is something which come with time. Perhaps as you mature you will come to understand this.

Unfortunately (or maybe not) everything that could happen with 4 people in thier life time, has already happened to me for the past several years. So, maturity has been there pretty much for quite some time. But of course there is always room to grow. Always. 

While I did not grow up in Russia I have spent a great deal of time there over the past 9 plus years including 3 trips this year .

Oh I see, great, was that zealously dedicated to studying Russian culture and history all these 9 years? 

[ScottinCrimea]

As one who scored in the top 1/10 of one percent on the psychiatry and psychology portions of the medical boards and who has significantly more experience in counseling than you, I will offer my opinion, and you can take it as you choose.  In some posts I see considerable insight, but in others I see that you are sorely lacking.  The big problem is that you don't know which is which.

[WHHatton]

As one who scored in the top 1/10 of one percent on the psychiatry and psychology portions of the medical boards and who has significantly more experience in counseling than you, I will offer my opinion, and you can take it as you choose.  In some posts I see considerable insight, but in others I see that you are sorely lacking.  The big problem is that you don't know which is which.

Careful ScottinCrimea you might upset our all knowing sage. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

however, the support men are going to pay for her and her new boyfriend will be in the SAME currency.

Interesting comment would you care to explain exactly what you mean?

I meant that, men and women are different, opinions can differ, situations can differ, anything and everything can differ, and there will always be exceptions to rules and exceptions to exceptions...what ever....the only thing that will remain the same is the currency (dollars) that another young (or not) girl will lawfully get from her man after their imminent divorce, or Fat Yuri will scam thousands of men... this will continue, and i am trying to help men not to get into this kind of trap. But at the same time we know that humans tend to often learn from their own mistakes. 

[ScottinCrimea]

Your response to my post tells me a lot. 

[WHHatton]

however, the support men are going to pay for her and her new boyfriend will be in the SAME currency. I meant that, men and women are different, opinions can differ, situations can differ, anything and everything can differ, and there will always be exceptions to rules and exceptions to exceptions...what ever....the only thing that will remain the same is the currency (dollars) that another young (or not) girl will lawfully get from her man after their imminent divorce, or Fat Yuri will scam thousands of men... this will continue, and i am trying to help men not to get into this kind of trap. But at the same time we know that humans tend to often learn from their own mistakes. 

While it is commendable that you are "helping" men you are also in it for the money as you charge for your services and advise so your true motives are highly suspect to say the least.

Now if you simply charged for providing accurate and timely translations without any comments or advise then you could claim the high moral ground but suspect that is not how you operate. 

If any man get's scammed it is because he allowed himself to be scammed and I have no sympathy for these men, stupidly like ugly goes clear to the bone.

[AnastassiaAsh]

As one who scored in the top 1/10 of one percent on the psychiatry and psychology portions of the medical boards and who has significantly more experience in counseling than you,

I will offer my opinion, and you can take it as you choose.  In some posts I see considerable insight, but in others I see that you are sorely lacking.  The big problem is that you don't know which is which.

[KenC]

Scott,
You really surprise me.  You protect Jazzy like she is your little sister when she posts her mindless opinions on subjects she is absolutely clueless on and yet attack Anastassia who is commenting well within her area of expertise.  You and WH are like two Hyenas smelling blood.

I am happy for you that you have such a high opinion of yourself as I guess someone must.  But no one here appointed you as the "critique master" of opinions.  I happen to think that Anastassia is one of the most knowledgable posters here and her input is a wonderful addition to RWD.  My "qualifications" for that opinion is that I am smarter than you.
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

KenC, I only protect Jazzy in as much as she is immature in her experience in life and I respect that and don't believe she should be attacked for her views on certain issiues. On some issues, as a RW currently living in Russia, her views have definite credibility, beyond those of your wife who has not lived there for 8 years.  No need to practice your bullying tactics on her.

My "high opinion of myself' comes from quantified education and experience, that even you cannot refute.  You have certainly neverbeen afraid to offer yourself as a "critique master" of opinion with much less qualification than myself.  All you have to offer is an 8 year marriage to one RW.  While that has its merits, it also has its limits and you refuse to recognize these.

If you look more closely, I do not "attack" Anastassia, I simply point out her limits of expertise, as I do yours. I think it is important to be clear on the basis on which we can claim ourselves to be experts on any topic.  I try not to go beyond the limits of my education and experience and I expect others to do the same.  You and Anastassia included.  You have a unique but limited experience.  I value your comments on those subjects on which you have certifiable experience but I question your inclination to go beyond these limits.  I also value the opinions of Anastassia within the boundaries of which I feel she has the sufficient experience to express such, but it is certainly my right to question her whenever I feel she has exceeded those boundaries.

The only qualification you have over me is that you are older than me.  I will certainly be happyto compare my IQ to yours and my education to yours.  You may know more about landscaping than me, but beyond that, I certainly don't feel inferior.  Stop your bullying tactics with me. Jazzy, and others that don't agree with your limited opinion, and maybe you will have more respect from me, but as it now stands, I think a little introspection is in order.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Thanks, KenC! The most ironic thing is that Jen actually came to us, Russian Women's corner, and asked us, Russian Women, all these really good questions. That's great. But then all of a sudden some 'personalities' jumped out and started throwing spears on all of us in our own place and with that 99% of the board members are just watching this spectacle!  There are some nice and just exceptions though.   

[ScottinCrimea]

Anastassia, you are losing some big points here.  One of the key issues of psychology and counseling is that you don't 'personalize" another person's problems.  The person you are trying to give advice to really doesn't give a damn about your own feelings

[WHHatton]

KenC,

 I do not mean to sound like an attack dog to AnastasiaAsh, it is just that she is sounding like she is the end all know everything go to person and I question her motivations as she is making money on the "advise" she is giving. Of course I have no problem with her being a translator, I have used translators on many occasions, but the job of a translator is to accurately translate what is said or written between people not to interject opinion even if they are asked (usually).

Additionally AnastasiaAsh has clearly stated her opinion that she has issues with peoples age differences which she objects to and this leads to a conflict of interest when someone is being paid for their advise which i also have a problem with in this instance.

[KenC]

Scott,
You have zero information about my background.  A smart man never starts a fight he doesn't know he can win.  I have no desire to compare schwantz's (sp?) with you, even though I do know you would lose that too.  I have always found the man who toots his own horn the loudest usually has the least to offer.  Have a wonderful rest of your life.
KenC

[AnastassiaAsh]

KenC, I only protect Jazzy in as much as she is immature in her experience in life and I respect that and don't believe she should be attacked for her views on certain issues. On some issues, as a RW currently living in Russia, her views have definite credibility, beyond those of your wife who has not lived there for 8 years.  No need to practice your bullying tactics on her.

Well, Scott, I think it doesn't matter how many years Lena or me didn't live in Russia. The amount of time that we did live there is hundred times more than yours or any AM who comes and lives there for some years. We were born there! Maybe you have just started experiencing Russian realities but we have been doing that all of our lives. Why have we, Russian women, been invited on this website after all? And then face this humiliation and mistrust.

[ScottinCrimea]

KenC,  Here's a psychological profile, no charge.  Your lack of an advanced education impacts your self esteem.  You have achieved much in spite of this, but you still feel this.  Your response is to attack those who do not agree with your views of things and those who you subconsciouslly, (or consciously) feel are your superior in either IQ, education, or experience.  You have found, through experience, that most people will back down when confronted with your bullying tactics.  When faced with someone like Jazzy who doesn't have the life experience to see what is going on, or myself, who has both the education and life experience to see through this, you become frustrated and resort to vague innuendos.

I respect your opinions on many things.  I am bringing a RW to the US and value your thoughts on the issues involving this.  I also value your thoughts on what provides for a successfull iintercultural marriage DOWN THE LINE".  But when you step over the boundaries of your level of expertise, you bet I will call you on that.

As far as me "tooting my own horn" you have repeatedly called for qualifications to anyone stating an opinion.  I provided that at your request.

[vwrw]

In this and other threads, I have posted critically upon the abilities of RW to think critically and objectively, and argue logically.

I think NOT only RW have deficiency in the ability to think critically and objectively, and argue logically. Probably, it is common for women in general throughout the world.  

I see many RW who express themselves and you can understand from their words who of them have a brains and education and who have only papers where is written a degree.  Yulz comes to my mind as one who you knew they were smart by reading her posts, without beating her chest.  Look back on her posts with Scott Crima and you can see she has clear ideas and have good thinking. For example here:
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=5043.60  
 I see the same with the ideas when Catzanmouse or Scott (and many more) make their posts.   You can read them and know they are wise.    With Anastasia she must tell us about her courses and grades for us to know that because some of the things she says like her thinking on age difference do not make sense.

Anastasia, Please NO offence owning to my following words. That is only an idea and I do not mean to be bad about you. Most relationships at its prime are frail.  Think of yourself at dating stage when you make a decision if there be or not to be a relationship. Recall...one wrong word and you are ready to get away from your dater's life. With your strong bias against age difference you are talking to a woman who has an interest in an older man I can not see where you could not have a unfair influence that would ruin the relationship without a chance even if it was a good one that would be a good, strong and happy marriage.  I think that is why you come here with such sad statistics.  

[AnastassiaAsh]

KenC,

 I do not mean to sound like an attack dog to AnastasiaAsh, but you did exactly that! it is just that she is sounding like she is the end all know everything go to person I just felt i needed to express my opinion as strong as the other was expressed and I question her motivations as she is making money on the "advise" she is giving. Of course I have no problem with her being a translator, I have used translators on many occasions, but the job of a translator is to accurately translate what is said or written between people not to interject opinion even if they are asked (usually). Again: if my pieces of advice wouldn't lead to true positive results people wouldn't pay me. think about it. Do you think that all of my customers are just dumb and i am scamming them for money...ha ha ha...come on, dear WHHatton, i even charge a little tiny fraction of money for my advice. Yes, when they don't ask, I don't say, if they do, I say what I think, as it is, pink glassess off.

Additionally AnastasiaAsh has clearly stated her opinion that she has issues with peoples age differences which she objects to I don't have any issues with that, AM have clearly issues with that and come to me for help! and this leads to a conflict of interest when someone is being paid for their advise which i also have a problem with in this instance. I will just send you some people and you will try to advise, console and solve thier problems spending 50 hours FOR FREE, OK? Only with great results then too...

[KenC]

Whew Scott,
Now I can sleep tonight knowing that you respect my opinion!!!  Just know that you have always been my idol!
 
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

Well, Scott, I think it doesn't matter how many years Lena or me didn't live in Russia. The amount of time that we did live there is hundred times more than yours or any AM who comes and lives there for some years. We were born there! Maybe you have just started experiencing Russian realities but we have been doing that all of our lives. Why have we, Russian women, been invited on this website after all? And then face this humiliation and mistrust.

Anastassia, Be careful to note that I have gone to great lengths to avoid criticizing you.  I recognize the experience that you have gained from your experience in counseling others.  I see the value in that.  But I also think it is important to point out the limits of your education.  I can definitely state from personal experience that te education you gain in psychology is varialbe if not extremely variable, but it does have its merits.

The time I have spent in the US is a hundred times more valuable than than you or any RW who comes and lives there for some years.  Since you are consulting couples who are half American and half Russian who ultimately plan to live in the US I feel I have as much or more experience in this than you.  Maybe you have just started experiencing American life, as you quote, but I have been doing this all of my life.  You question my abitlity to speak for Russian women, but in the same right, I question your ability to speak for American men.  Maybe we would do better by both admitting our inadequacies.  I would be delighted to have your help in understanding my RW and her adjustment to life in the US and marriage to a AM.  IN return, I would be delighted to offer you my views as an AM.

[AnastassiaAsh]

With Anastasia she must tell us about her courses and grades for us to know that because some of the things she says like her thinking on age difference do not make sense.

I don't know, it all makes perfect sense to me and many others.

Anastasia, Please NO offence owning to my following words. That is only an idea and I do not mean to be bad about you. Most relationships at its prime are frail.  Think of yourself at dating stage when you make a decision if there be or not to be a relationship. Recall...one wrong word and you are ready to get away from your dater's life. With your strong bias against age difference you are talking to a woman who has an interest in an older man I can not see where you could not have a unfair influence that would ruin the relationship without a chance even if it was a good one that would be a good, strong and happy marriage.  I think that is why you come here with such sad statistics.  

Well, now, are you saying that I am to blaime for such bad statistics because I don't encourage big age gap relationships?? Wow, what a twist of thoughts!

[Gator]

WHHatton wrote,

… as you charge for your services and advise so your true motives are highly suspect to say the least….. when someone is being paid for their advise which i also have a problem with in this instance.

This one escapes me.  Did you become a communist during your travels to Russia?  A creed common to successful businessmen is "do quality work", "make a profit", and  "have fun".

[AnastassiaAsh]

The time I have spent in the US is a hundred times more valuable than than you or any RW who comes and lives there for some years.  Since you are consulting couples who are half American and half Russian who ultimately plan to live in the US I feel I have as much or more experience in this than you.  Maybe you have just started experiencing American life, as you quote, but I have been doing this all of my life.  You question my abitlity to speak for Russian women, but in the same right, I question your ability to speak for American men.  Maybe we would do better by both admitting our inadequacies.  I would be delighted to have your help in understanding my RW and her adjustment to life in the US and marriage to a AM.  IN return, I would be delighted to offer you my views as an AM.

ha ha ha...DEAL!    Only, for some reason the subject of this board is Russian Women, both in Russia and US, not American man in the US or Russia...and how to find a good Russian woman and marry her. Maybe ladies here will come together at some point and dedicate a website about How to find a good AM and marry him. That would be cool.   

[Gator]

Anastasia wrote,

Well, now, are you saying that I am to blaime for such bad statistics because I don't encourage big age gap relationships??

That is not what VWRW said.  Anastasia, you drew criticism from a few here because you expressed an opinion as if it were gospel.

What you said many pages ago is akin to the many men saying AW are fat.  Without statistics, I would say based on my observations that RW on average are slimmer.  However, I saw many plump RW at the Sochi beaches and the cellulite was abundant.  Yes, many AW are fat, but there are many, many fine specimens.  Men saying AW are fat probably have a bias in that the slim AW will not give them the time of day.

[ScottinCrimea]

But you know that most, if not all, of your clients are AM, not RW.  In truth, your business deals with AM and their perceptions and how you influence them.  Maybe a better undersdtanding of your clients, AM, would not be such a bad thing.  This thread is talking about your opinions on the AM as well as the RW.  As a consultant, you need to have a solid basis for your opinions on both.  I sense that this is not the case.  Maybe I can help?

[ScottinCrimea]

Bottom line:  Personal bias cannot enter in to the advice of a psychologist, and even if you call yourself a consultant, the same is true.