hello there I am new to this and looking for advice

[tjk]

I think that this whole thing sounds like a challenge and that sounds like fun also.

I know that when I do meet the one there will some different challenges for us because I live in the country and not in or even near a big city so I have wondered if that would also be a challange for a RW to overcome????

Yes Turboguy I would like to know that interpertor in Kiev as well.

I am kinda doing this whole thing on my own and am now looking here for all the help and advice that I can get. So thank all of you very much.

I have thought that the 22 to 21 year olds were a little on the young side but then again I also do not know

[Turboguy]

Check your PM's for the info on the interpreter.   I would suggest being upfront about where you live.   I would also not go to Moscow or St Petersburg to meet women as it sometimes is tough to transplant a big city girl to the sticks. 

Some gals are happy in a rural setting and some would go stir crazy.   My gal comes from a city that is large by american standards but she is very comfortable in a rural type setting.

[tjk]

oh ya I have been completly honest with them all that I have written to and told them everything that I have done in my past and all about where I live and work as well. And to add confusion to my end they all have said that is fine and that they would really like to live in the country and get away from the city.

Since I have been married twice befor I thought that might scare a few of them away but this does not bother them for some reason, ant thoughts on that???

[Turboguy]

It could be that they have heard from enough AM who have been divorced twice that they just accept it.  When I dated AW I never let it bother me until they had about 4 divorces.    With one divorce we always think it is the other person.   With 2 it was the other person and a mistake.  We don't start thinking it is us until the 3 rd or 4th time and then we just think we must be bad at picking good partners. 

Maybe we can come up with a new test for women.  We write them with two differnt identities.  With one we tell them we have been married 6 times and have 8 children at home all under the age of 12 and we ask how good they are at cooking and cleaning and if they know how to milk a cow.   If they write back and tell us where to go we continue writing them with the other identity and are truthful.   If they write back and say they love kids, cooking and cleaning we know we either have someone who is too desperate or a scammer and we drop them.  Well, I am past the searching stage anyway.  Well, since I have not been drinking I must be over tired.  I guess it is time to go to bed.

[tjk]

I hear ya there that would be a good one.

one more thought for tonight and then I am going to bed and will check here again tomorrow for any responses and from then on as well. I am so glad that I stumbled on this site tonight .

So if the girl from Nikolaev is willing to come to Kiev then should not the other girls, if they are really interested, come to Kiev also to meet me. Or would this maybe be to much to ask?????

Especially after tonight and finding out the train is a little more complicated for me since this is the first time in Ukraine for me.

I do have many more questions but they will have to wait till tomorrow I guess.

[Turboguy]

Yea, I was heading for bed too but got sidetracked on another thread so I will add a few things here before I call it a night.

Many girls will be willing to meet you in another location.   The disadvantage is you don't get to see how they live and meet their family but I think it is far more convenient for you to have them do the traveling.   If you hit it off you will want to go back and I would make sure that visit was to thier home town.   Some girls can't,  work or whatever or perhaps they are just not serious enough.   I always thought it was great if I could get them to travel to me.   Sure saves a lot of time and hastle.   I would not think bad of a woman who could not travel to meet me though.  My fiancee commented one time that if a guy wanted her to do the traveling that she took it as a sign he was not deeply interested.

You should cover their costs since most of them don't have a big income.   Usually I prefered to give them the money when they arrived.   I have taken the train from Nikolev to Kiev.   First class was sold out so I had to go in a second class sleeper car and the fare was like $ 8.00 plus $ 1.50 or so for the bedding.   Probably it should not be more than $ 50.00 each way maybe a lot less if she goes second class. 

[BillyB]

I assume that Anastaisa is not the chioce of many???

It's got the worst reputation in the industry. I read many times on these forums guys are being played and are victims of the bait and switch. A guy is lured on to AnastasiaWeb by the top women. He then goes to visit them only to find out the women can't meet them because of some reason. Now the guy is stuck in the FSU with nobody to rely on except the Aweb affiliated local agency who will come to your rescue and hook you up with dates at $50 a pop.

tjk, if you go with Aweb, have a backup plan and expect sh!t to happen. That way you won't be disappointed and unprepared when it actually happens. Unless you're able to call these women on a regular basis, you don't know if she is actually reading your letter and responding to you or if Igor, the employee of the month, is sending you love letters.

[2tallbill]

I am going to give you some advice her and I will send you a PM as well. My advice is worth
exactly what I am charging for it "zero dollars" I have been to Kiev twice and Odessa one time.
Turbo is vastly more experienced than I am.

I will echo others opinions about AWeb

Kiev is a city of 2.7 million people and the surrounding area are large as well. Odessa has over a million people in it.
I graduated high school in a place a little bit like Hadley, called Fossil Oregon (Wheeler Highschool), we had 16 in my graduating class and the leading export was highschool graduates. Fossil was the biggest city in the county. I now live in the San Francisco bay area which is a Major Metropolitan area like Kiev. You need to make sure that the lady you meet understand what the difference between Hadley and Kiev or Odessa would be like. Bring some local picture books of the area and surrounding area and maybe a laptop with a photo slide show. 

I personally don't think that 21 year old women are good marriage material even if you are 25 years old. Like I/O said or implied is that ladies who are just a few years older like 27,28 + are more mature and IMHO you will have a better chance at success with them.

If there is a woman 27 that you really like, then you should goggle her first and last name. If you goggle her name and check to see if she is on any scam sites or there is a good chance she is also registered at Elena's models or another reputable site or other agencies. Many ladies are on several sites. If you find her there then contact her at that site and see if she knows who you are. It really is a possibility that she doesn't.

I would read, read and read some more. Check out the trip report section and especially the trip reports for the areas that you will travel in. I would recommend bringing brand new bills in $100's and 50's with no marks folds or writing on them and an Atm and credit card. There are many places that will not take a credit card, but most cash machines will take your ATM card if you call your bank ahead of time and tell them the date of your trip and where you will be. I would also recommend staying in an apartment as opposed to a hotel. I would buy the pimsleur language program for the Russian language (NOT UKRAINIAN) and a nice translator like estaco for example. I will recommend some other things in a PM to you.

The more you read the more you will know.

Good luck (udachi)

Bill

[2tallbill]

I sent you a PM which took a good 20 minutes to type with information and contacts. When I sent it it might have disappeared into cyberspace. My in box and outbox are essentially empty. Let me know if you didn't get it.

take care,

Bill

[neo]

Turboguy

just want to pick up on your "neo likes HRB" comment.

for the record

I DON'T LIKE, APPROVE OF oR RECOMMEND HRB!!!

Can i make that any clearer?

my opinion is at best they are incompetent and at worst party to an elaborate fraud and extortion racket. Is that clear enough Turboguy?

I don't recommend HRB for the same reason i don't recommend AWEB - because they are the same ROTTEN BARREL OF APPLES due to using THE SAME ROTTEN AGENCIES ON THE GROUND.

Bait and switch, fake chatters, fake latters - tehy do the lot.

SO I DO NOT LIKE HRB!

I used HRB to meet my ex wife some 3 years ago before anyone knew their bad reputation, they also changed their ENTIRE business model AFTER i had already used them, so i would not use them again adn i would not say i liked them.

OK?

[Turboguy]

Yes, it is perfectly clear Neo except for one point.  Are you saying you do or don't like HRB?

[Kuna]

tjk,

There's some good advice above but as always you need to consider the source.  That's hard to do when you're a new member of a board here so it's important you read as much as possible before making any big decisions.

A few things you might like to consider:

Are you ready?
As plain ol' dumb men we tend to tell ourselves we're fine after a divorce but the fact is we do grieve.  Sure we can put on a brave face and move forward but it take a little time to let things settle.

If you're not ready it's cool.  You can still take a holiday.. A GREAT HOLIDAY... and meet some girls.  Depending on where you go there is great nightlife and ample sites to see.

When are you planning on traveling?
Your itinerary and the places you visit might very well be significantly impacted on the time of year you travel. Consider your timing carefully because you will have vastly different trips based on how damn cold (or hot) it is.

Never traveled before
Maybe this is good... maybe it's bad.  If you'd had experience travelling before you could throw out most of what you'd experienced in the past.  Ukraine is very different from Canada...  Kiev is not Honolulu.

You can get lots of great info on destinations once you decide where you're going

What method will you use to meet women?
There's a mountain of debate in here about the best way to meet women (if you genuinely think you're ready for THAT relationship). Write One Visit One (WOVO), Write Many Visit Many WMVM, Speed dating through and agency.  You seem to have met a nice lady and I will be the first to tell you WOVO CAN work... but always travel with a backup plan jut in case things don't spark for you.

Assistace on the ground
This is probably good for you if it's your first trip abroad but I'd encourage you to do a few things.  There's lot of ways to get help on the ground.  Full Service Agencies are probably a good idea.  If you want to be more independent you can use an Apartment Service that will pick you up at the airport etc and then there are other options on the ground.

If you're looking for a guide the only way to go is to contact Jack on this site and get him to hook you up with someone you can trust.

What cities to visit and how
Where you visit depends on what method you follow...  Agency speed dating basically means you'll attach yourself to an agency and therefore the first choice is normally the city. If you're going to WMVM or WOVO then your destinations will depend on where the ladies are.

How to choose the right ladies to visit
Understand youself better than you ever have before and be honest when considering what is important to you.  Don't fall in love before you travel but if you choose to communicate before travelling ask probing questions.  If you find someone without English Skills expect the process to take MUCH longer, you can't develop a real relationship without a common language.  Do you have children? Do you want more? Younger ladies will almost certainly want children but very young ladies may not be remotely interested YET!  

You've found RWD and that's a great step forward...  Feel free to participate because it's the best way to be prepared.

Good luck!

Kuna

[HiTech]

About Anastasia web.

I agree the practices there are less than perfect.
And I no longer use them.

But it also does not mean you can not find someone there. I met a lady from there who was 100% legit, meeting went well but we did not work out.

So do not think that your girl could not be 100% real, but make sure you have spoken on phone a number of times.

Also look in your letters for to good to be true signs. If she is agreeing with every thing you say and not looking like she can see things differently , you might be writing to an agency not a women.

When is your trip to kiev?

Dale

[tjk]

 I was thinking about around the end of September. I have not yet got my tickets yet but I would like to get them soon that way they are a little cheaper. got to save a little when one can you know....

I am very interested in the one girl from Nikolaev she has always been there when I have called and always written me right back, the one from Odessa I have never been able to talk to her on the phone. I have tried about 6 times and they always say that she does not answer or something is wrong, and then she took a 10 day time of not writing to me. So I am a little ?? about that one I have a few doubts about her. But I think that the one from Nikolaev is alright, I hope. I did ask her about maybe going to Nikolaev with her after her 4 days off was up and she said that it would depend on how things went. And one more thing it was her idea to go to Kiev I was first thinking about flying into Odessa but she thought that Kiev would be better........

2talbill- i never did get a pm from you so if you would please resend....hey I'm originally from South Dakota graduated with 25 others. we was a big class:)


I have told and explained all about where I live at and the distances to the closest towns. they have all said that they are okay with leaving the city because they are getting tired of everything there..but I will send a few more pictures and bring some with me as well.

Oh ya I should have clarified a little more on my divorce last night. I found out last September that she was, are you ready for it, UNFAITHFULL with my best friend longer than my first marriage lasted and so then she left in January. But we have just been officially divorced for 2 to 3 months now..Yea I was really blind sided with her bad deal when you think that you can trust someone and find out that is not the case at all....oh well what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger....



I would once again like to thank everyone for the help this is really a great thing...

well I have to go to town and will be back in a little while..

[catzenmouse]

tjk,

 Welcome to RWD! We may at times seem to be a bit rough on folks but its only because we don't want to see another crash and burn story down the road.

 My biggest concern with you situation is that you are so newly divorced. Regardless of how long the marriage may have been dead before the divorce this is mighty soon to be playing the international woman field.

 If you want to go then by all means go! The FSU is a wonderful amazing place to be. Just do it easy the first time. Get your feet wet, get a taste of the country, the people, the food, beer, vodka and just enjoy. Then when you have had some time to get beyond the pains and sorrows of the marriage you will have a good experience to guide you on your way for the future.

Best of luck!
 Ken

[Turboguy]

Only you can look into your heart and know if you are ready to go on with your life.  For some a divorce leaves them such a mess inside that they may be a long long time before they are truly ready for another marriage.   For others it may not be.   For me from the first second it was better than winning the power ball.  My marriage left me a mess for a while probably but as far as being ready to move on I was.

Odessa for some reason seems to have a not much better track record than A-Web or HRB.  I don't hear too many men who have had success there.  It is a beautiful city from what I hear.   Personally you might want to take a rain check on Odessa but that is your choice.

You seem to have a good attitude about everything and you are asking good questions.  I think you will do fine.  It may not be on this trip but once you get hooked on FSU women you are addicted for life.

[Vaughn]

My biggest concern with you situation is that you are so newly divorced. Regardless of how long the marriage may have been dead before the divorce this is mighty soon to be playing the international woman field.

Ken's concern is exactly why I suggested patience upthread. I'm gonna stick my neck out here,
more than I usually do, and make a few assumptions. You're a great family man - and you give fully to
the relationship. Twice divorced, you're climbin' back in the saddle after a scant (and damn lonely)
period of solitude. I understand the mindset, I've been there. My rebound second marriage was the
worst mistake I've ever made - and it had a devastating effect on my two daughters who were very
young at the time, 6 and 10. Ken's advice to just go and enjoy yourself means just that; don't take it
as blanket approval to fly over with an engagement as a target mission. The thing that jumped out
at me was when you wrote:

I have told and explained all about where I live at and the distances to the closest towns. they have all said that they are okay with leaving the city because they are getting tired of everything there....

I sense a mission in the making. Yours might be honorable yet premature, while theirs sounds
more like tell him what he wants to hear. I'm glad you've already got doubts about the one who's difficult
to reach by phone: I have tried about 6 times and they always say that she does not answer or something is wrong. There's definitely something wrong - who are they? Her parents or her agency?

I'm certain that my preaching patience doesn't sound appetizing to you, tjk. And since you've decided that
September seems like a nice time to realize some face-to-face meetings, let me offer this. It's always been
my feeling that an agency's function is mainly to introduce the two of you and little more. If you need the agency to coddle you through dates, dinners, language barrier, simple taxi rides and appointments, so be it. But you
will both have to eventually function without them, and then better off the two of you will be. I strongly suggest you focus on ladies who have a fair to good command of English, just for starters - and ladies who are more interested in getting to know you as the man you are - rather than making claims that
they're OK with having to leave the city environment. It's all so presumptuous at this stage.

Tell me honestly - what's going to be different the third time around - and why?

Vaughn

[HiTech]

tjk: I am thinking of heading to kiev on the 28th or 29th of September and then train to Nikolaev , I also have spent about 3 weeks in Nikolaev in the past. PM me if your interested in traveling together.

As far as her meeting you in kiev, I would think long and hard about that, you might find very quickly that you do not have chemistry together, it will make it much harder for you to implement a backup plan. If she is meeting you, and just taking a train back to Nikolaev, you once again have a problem being dependent on her if things do not work.

You must make a backup plan if things fail. It can be as simple as having a number of agencies phone numbers who you have called before time in the cities you are visiting.

Dale

[tjk]

 I think that I probably do have a mission somewhere in the back of my mind and that is very simple just to find happiness. I have always felt a little pulled to FSU even as a kid I have always wanted to go there and check everything out. So for the most part I am looking at the trip as something that I have always wanted to do and then there is the added bonus that if things would work out with this gal then that would kick #**. by far there.

I would also like to say that I am maybe the most patient man that anyone would ever met so the being patient thing will be no problem there. But then I also feel a pressing need to meet this gal also don't know what that is about.

I do have two kids from the last marriage and yes I am a very committed person and i will give as much as needed but I also like to know that I am not the only one giving..
I was pretty tore up after I found everything out but that was a year ago now and i have let a lot of water out of the dam. I feel that it's time for something . what I don't know yet just got to let that one go as it go's.

I am planning on doing most everything on our own and try to cut A-web out of it. I will need a translator but with a little help should be able to find one of those.

It was her idea to go to Kiev. And I guess that time will tell of she is the one or not, I would like to keep a optimistic view but there is always that thought that it will not work. If they do not work out I guess that we just say our goodbyes and walk away. Besides I am still in the FSU and should be able to find something to do??? And I agree that I should have and will have a back up plan. Which is to just have fun and see and learn what I can learn.

[tjk]

Tell me honestly - what's going to be different the third time around - and why?

Vaughn

Well for one thing I now have two kids to watch out for and that makes everything more complicated, just can't think about myself anymore. and I have grown up a lot since the good old days, kids will do that. unfortunately my ex never got that memo I guess. So I will be looking for someone with a lot stronger values and someone who would also be devoted to family as well. the good old party days are over. That and I am now looking for someone who is not from my home town where the choices were very limited since I was related to half the people there. I do not feel that most AW have the values that I am searching for and what other choice would one have then?? I know that not everything in the FSU is roses and wine, but I think that they have the values that I am looking for. If I am wrong there please let me know...

[Lily]

 I meet them on the Anastasia web service. I am pretty much doing everything on my own for now. I do not know if this is smart or stupid.

tjk, good agencies may have inferior women, and bad agencies may have quality women. Women would probably not pay that much attention to the reputation of the agency to use. They often rely on their friends' personal recommendation and experience before choosing Anastasiaweb or some other agency. However, the agencies do have practices that make your search either easier or complicated.

Oh ya I should have clarified a little more on my divorce last night. I found out last September that she was, are you ready for it, UNFAITHFULL with my best friend longer than my first marriage lasted and so then she left in January. But we have just been officially divorced for 2 to 3 months now..Yea I was really blind sided with her bad deal when you think that you can trust someone and find out that is not the case at all....oh well what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger....

The mere fact that you have been maried twice would not do you justice in Ukraine. Some women tend to believe that wives do not leave good husbands. If you have been divorced twice, that would mean to them that you may be somewhat less than a good husband. Of course this is not always true, but you know, prejudices are a strong thing. That would place an extra burden on you to show your prospects that you are a quality person.

Well, her infidelity may be a good reason for a UW. At the same time, if you let them know this, you would get extra credits as a good husband material.

So if the girl from Nikolaev is willing to come to Kiev then should not the other girls, if they are really interested, come to Kiev also to meet me. Or would this maybe be to much to ask?????

The fact that she is willing to travel to you tells a lot of good things about her. Not only she may be interested, but she also intends to ease your endeavor. A train trip is not complicated for any FSU person, but it may be embarassing for a foreigner, especially who never traveled abroad.

This is a fine line between asking a woman to travel to you, and offering your own travel to her place. There are women who sincerely believe that if a man is looking for a bride, he should undertake everything no matter how burdensome and complicated it is. FSU is a patriarchal society, in general. Women however, are all individual, and if one may willingly agree to travel from Poltava to Kiev, the other may be hurt by the same question believing that if you have been able to reach Kiev for her, you should well be able to reach her at any part of world. That's what her mother always told her.

Age is not an issue in you case at all, in my opinion, although you may have read every lot of funny things in the forum.

Last but not least, take an interpreter especially if this is your first trip outside the US at all. Ideally the interpreter would be your guide and stays with you for the most time. As it is your first trip, you may just be chocked at FSU life and habits. The way the passport control officer will look at you in the airport may be the grumpiest look you have seen in yout life.  

[tjk]

Lily

I would like to say that I have held nothing back from the girls about my marriage's they know that whole story. Because I do not like secrets and lies or playing games. I have had to much of that in the past and know all to well the feelings that come from it on the receiving end. The only thing that they have said is that they really appreciate my honesty.

[ScottinCrimea]

tjk,  You have the right attitude and you're asking the right questions.  Just this much puts you  miles ahead of most men who try this. You're going to make some mistakes, as we all did and do, but you are minimizing them and I think you will find what you are looking for.

[neo]

One thing isnt clear to me about AWEB:

maybe someone can clear it up for me and others?

How do you actually go from writing a girl through AWEB to sorting out a meeting.

We know the HRB routine that you have to be a platinum member 3 months,s pend 2500 credits then they release the local agents info who charge you more money etc.

but what do AWEB DO???

i mean do you have to take their social and can only meet a girl you wrote to through their tour? or can you get her local agency from her letters and cut AWEB out???

the process from them doesnt seem clear and all i hear is guys spending a ton of green on writing letters at 5 bucks a pop and then going on dreadful aweb socials.

so whats the missing link between writing and meeting?

someone please clarify.

[HiTech]

AWEB: Purchase a conference call threw them. On the phone they will translate all information including phone # and emails. After that you can forget about aweb.

HiTech