Yet another age difference thread

[Jazzyclassy]

What vegasman is talking about is probably a unique and exclusive one chance in a million for an old guy and very young girl to be compatible.Sometimes there are plenty of old guys who are so ignorant silly and are treating women not how they deserve and there are young guys who are mature enough rather smart and already know their aim in life. You never know .... how it will happen. Though it is silly from my part to argue with many of you and silly from your part to try and prove me I am wrong, we all have our reasons to believe in what we believe and to consider our truth to be  truth , so leave that ballads about me or anyone being so young and so idealistic, people should always try to strive for the better. And age has nothing to do with it, in this case , age has nothing to do with maturity and foolishness.

  My gf's sister dates this little Armenian guy that treats her like she is more of a possession than a human being.           

We are treated how we deserve it.

People,human beings can not live forever, the time comes and the person dies, of course his soul will never die, but we are talking about for example him being alive in this world where he has a young wife, so he dies, his wife is like 27 with a little child , she will be really lucky if she can find some decent man who could marry her. Not every man is ready to take a woman with the child and  treat them both greatly. Many of you live in some other worlds, like you think it is so easy  to find somebody good,  Old guy with money and who seems to treat her ok , does not mean he will treat her good in the future!!!! He might be easily annoyed with her and go searching for younger girl, those guys who have this kinda brains under some strange source to find obligatory a young woman , will never stop they will hunt, hunt and hunt till they die obviously , the youth is never enough for them

This is my opinion there is nothing to be proud of when you have got not an equal marriage and sing the song to the others what a heroes they are to overcome such prejudice and to overcome so many issues and problems, you are adding problems to your life , yourselves by choosing this way , cos marriages with the same age have its problems for sure, but marriages with age gaps have  those problems in triple hard way .

But I know people on the forums are not percepting such information, they only love serenades towards their huge age gap marriages, listening how other people tell them how amazing they are and how smart and incredible they are to do so , makes me smell hypocrisy and double standards or simply just strange behaviour  or protest for the morality of the society or something or they are praising those people for their own purposes.

[Misha]

Mir, I agree that is the case with RW much more so than with AW.   I think also that everyone is different and unique and everyone has thier own ideas of what they want for life.   I actually had two different RW tell me that they were not willing to accept a rich man.   That they only wanted a poor or average man.   Both are still single as far as I know.  Probably nuts too.

Why would they be nuts? They stated their preference and their choices must be respected.

[Mir]

Mir, I agree that is the case with RW much more so than with AW.   I think also that everyone is different and unique and everyone has their own ideas of what they want for life.   I actually had two different RW tell me that they were not willing to accept a rich man.   That they only wanted a poor or average man.   Both are still single as far as I know.  Probably nuts too.

If a woman specifically states that she is looking to marry a rich man then most will doubt her sincerity (perhaps rightly)
However I will be even more suspicious of a woman who says that she is explicitly looking for a poor man, I mean what advantage is it to put your advert on a dating site and ask for a poor man from USA to marry you? How will the poor man afford to pay for corresponce? The visits etc etc
The opposite of a rich man (who many would like to avoid) is not a poor man but a man who is not rich (and there is a world of difference between him and a poor man)

[KenC]

Ranetka,
Again, I want to thank you for your posts here.  I see that you are getting some internal satisfaction from getting some things off your chest and that too is great.  You must also be made to realize the 100's of men you may be helping by telling your story.  That is a truly valuable gift that you offer up.  Thank you.

Jazzy,
Everyone that disagrees with you, does not necessarily hate you.  It is not Ranetka that acts as a victim, it is you.

We are treated how we deserve it.

This may be true in a perfect world, but this world is far from perfect.

Bluebell,
You asked:

KenC and Ranetka, what was your most unpleasant or difficult thing in your marriage with large age gap to overcome? Except scornful looks and not being invited by friends.

The  sadness and guilt that I will not be here for Lena in her later years.  Every older man in an age gap marriage certainly has a responsibility to provide for his wife financially even after his own eventual death, but that is only part of the difficulties she will face at that time.  What will she do with her life after my death?  She will be alone in this country and even if she has a great career and financial stability, she will face restarting her life again.  (As she has already restarted it when she moved to America)

I am so ever thankful for the wonderful loving years we have already spent together, but marrying a much younger woman is an incredibly selfish act on the part of the man.  The sacrifices the young woman must make and continue to make seems to me is an act that can only be justified by a deep and true love on her part.
KenC

[I/O]

marrying a much younger woman is an incredibly selfish act on the part of the man.  The sacrifices the young woman must make and continue to make seems to me as an act that can only be justified by a deep and true love on her part.
KenC

Boom Boom...!!! That cuts right to the heart of the matter and then some...!!! (Pardon the pun).

I/O

[Bluebell]

Bluebell,
You asked: The  sadness and guilt that I will not be here for Lena in her later years.  Every older man in an age gap marriage certainly has a responsibility to provide for his wife financially even after his own eventual death, but that is only part of the difficulties she will face at that time.  What will she do with her life after my death?  She will be alone in this country and even if she has a great career and financial stability, she will face restarting her life again.  (As she has already restarted it when she moved to America)

I am so ever thankful for the wonderful loving years we have already spent together, but marrying a much younger woman is an incredibly selfish act on the part of the man.  The sacrifices the young woman must make and continue to make seems to me as an act that can only be justified by a deep and true love on her part.
KenC

Yes, any responsible and caring person would think of this, what will happen to my partner when I am no more with her? It's not enough to not have financial problems, her needs for family, companionship can become a real and very painful problem to her ( and as it can be seen from your post above, already it is for you). Luckily, your children accepted and love you wife, they will be her family even when you are not with her.

[Turboguy]

Jazzy, your comment about a woman with a child and that most men will not accept them might be true in Russia but not America.    American men are most always quite open about that.   My sons new girlfriend has 4 kids.   The one before had somewhere around the same. 

My comment about a RW who looked for a poor man being nuts was a joke.  I think it is a poor choice but I can understand not wanting a rich man as well.   Both said they just wanted a normal average life with a man who loves them and I don't think they can be faulted for that. 

I do have to agree that an age gap marriage is something to be entered with your eyes open.   I am sure Ranetka had wonderful intentions but I am not as sure her eyes were as open as they should be but we all make mistakes.   

We talked about why people get married.   I have heard many young people joke about it being time to shitt or get off the pot.   I think they meant it as a joke but i think it is what motivates some to marry and most always ends up bad.   I know it was the case in my marriage.   I had gone with her for 3 1/2 years and it was just sort of the expected thing to do.  That was one of my many big mistakes in life.

[Jazzyclassy]

   but marrying a much younger woman is an incredibly selfish act on the part of the man.  The sacrifices the young woman must make and continue to make seems to me is an act that can only be justified by a deep and true love on her part.
KenC           

I also would like to site your words which I agree with completely , it is nice that you at least realise this......

[sunandsail]

   but marrying a much younger woman is an incredibly selfish act on the part of the man.  The sacrifices the young woman must make and continue to make seems to me is an act that can only be justified by a deep and true love on her part.
KenC           

That was a very healthy statement.  I'm a rare poster here, but I have a relationship with a 21 year gap, that burdens me with this very guilt.  There is a part of me that can't stop thinking this is not right for her - I love her - and I'm thinking this is not the right thing for her life.

[Turboguy]

Maybe it is because I have dated a number of much younger women but I don't feel a bit of guilt.  I feel a concern to make sure I try to do all I can to minimze any problems that will develop down the road and I feel a desire to try to be a really good husband and to try to make the years we hope to share as wonderful as possible but guilt never enters my mind at all. 

[KenC]

Maybe it is because I have dated a number of much younger women but I don't feel a bit of guilt.  I feel a concern to make sure I try to do all I can to minimze any problems that will develop down the road and I feel a desire to try to be a really good husband and to try to make the years we hope to share as wonderful as possible but guilt never enters my mind at all. 

Maybe that is because you are such a self centered and selfish man?  Any 67 year old man that would not see the unreasonable sacrifices that his 28 year old hottie is about to make is either and idiot or so focused on his own selfish lust that she just doesn't matter.  At 67 one would only hope that some wisdom had been absorbed, but it is not evident in your case.  As long as you have that hard body sleeping next to you, all is well!
KenC

[neo]

[William3rd]

I agree with you KenC. Since further response would be fruitless at this stage, I will just adopt your post and head off into the sunset.

[William3rd]

Guilt?!?!? Guilt? Why feel guilt? A stiff Richard knows no concience. . .

[Misha]

Maybe that is because you are such a self centered and selfish man?  Any 67 year old man that would not see the unreasonable sacrifices that his 28 year old hottie is about to make is either and idiot or so focused on his own selfish lust that she just doesn't matter.  At 67 one would only hope that some wisdom had been absorbed, but it is not evident in your case.  As long as you have that hard body sleeping next to you, all is well!
KenC

I am a bit confused. Turbo wrote that he was 45 during the Carter administration. This would make his closer to 75 than than 65. I just don't get the math :-) Ronald Reagan was elected in 1980 which was 27 years ago. 45 + 27 = 72, which would be the minimum age of Turbo based on the information provided.

[Turboguy]

I knew time flies but did I miss a few birthdays here.  I am sure if I were selfish I would be the last to know but it is not something I have often been accused of.

[catzenmouse]

Guilt?!?!? Guilt? Why feel guilt? A stiff Richard knows no concience. . .

Does Richard know about this? 

[neo]

That may be TurboGuy on the Left.

[Turboguy]

Perhaps I have my crisis's confused.   Carter was sworn into office in January of 77 and left office in January of 81 When Regan came in.   I don't recall what day he ruined the economy but I would guess mid term sometime.   Maybe that crisis was when Sam Pace committed suicide while being the warehouse for all my equipment on a handshake and the bank got it all and I was stuck with nothing but the bank loan to finance it.   I do think as I think more about it the two companies I talked about went out in 1980.  Sorry for the confusing time line.   Thinking back on that sure makes me glad I changed the nature of my business later on.  

No I am the one on the right.  I had a longer beard in those days.

[KenC]

I am a bit confused. Turbo wrote that he was 45 during the Carter administration. This would make his closer to 75 than than 65. I just don't get the math :-) Ronald Reagan was elected in 1980 which was 27 years ago. 45 + 27 = 72, which would be the minimum age of Turbo based on the information provided.

gabaub,
You may be on to something here as Turbo did begin his correspondence with VWRW with a lie about his age!  He only fessed up when he was caught by her reading this forum! (And he has been lying to himself ever since)
KenC

[jb]

Quite right, James Earl "Jimmy" Carter, Jr. (born October 1, 1924(1924-10-01)), was the thirty-ninth President of the United States from 1977 to 1981.  Using those references marks, T/G could be between 71 and 75 y.o., which makes the 37 year age gap in reality a 41+ year age gap.  This is getting really ridiculous.

[Makkin]

Hello,

  Turboguy I would like to wish you and your lady all the happiness in the world. Thanks for helping me when I first became a member here.

  Sometimes life is tricky and sometimes we do all we can to be happy but I think you have as good a chance as any since you are open and caring towards each other and in my humble opinion thats what it takes.

Your Friend,

Makkin

[mspanky]

I doubt Turbo is 72. He looks much younger. I think he made a mistake in his analogy.
Not a big deal!

[Misha]

I doubt Turbo is 72. He looks much younger. I think he made a mistake in his analogy.
Not a big deal!

Well, the age that you look does not really matter. The reality of the matter is that a 72 year old man faces health issues that a 67 year old man may not yet face. My father was quite healthy at 67 and sadly died at 72.

Also, if he made a mistake he can correct us. But usually you don't forget important events in your life and how old you were when they happened...

[BC]

Turbo,

You know, very strange things happen in life. I think we all accept that, even the occasional 'odd couple' that meet and somehow make it work.

I think the difficulty that folks here have understanding your situation originates with your rather long past record. You intentionally seek out very young women.  I remember quite well your insistence during your last K1, pushing against all possible odds, waving red flags and walking the same walk, talking the same talk as now.  I remember your socials TR shortly after the demise of your relationship where you seemed totally disinterested with other women because your thoughts were already in Bernaul IIRC.  I don't think you even paused to catch your breath, much less reflect a bit before going forward.  Slam bam dunk, the quickest series of engagements I have seen in a long while, if ever.

You've mentioned a couple of times recently you are here to learn etc etc but I really do wonder..

I do wish you and VW well, but think anyone reading this and the many age related threads you participate in should realize that you are the perfect example of what not to do...

There is a very big difference between blind luck and premeditation.