Turbo - Keep us Posted . . .

[chivo]

First of all, good luck to Turbo and vwrw.

Secondly, I understood the joke instantly.

I think what some of you failed to understand besides the joke, was the person telling the joke. Not that I am that familiar with her, but after reading most of vwrw's posts here, I, and I thought most of you would have realized that this is not a stupid woman. Her posts always seem well thought out.

Do some of you really believe that she would post something along these lines without first asking Turbo what "smokinhotkova" meant, or simply knowing what it meant herself?

Seems to me this same crowd is already waiting line to say "I told you so" should this union not live up to their standards.

Life is always a crap shoot, and yes we should always try and improve our chances. Funny how some people always know what right for us.

I would rather have a few good years with someone that makes me happy, than to be alone, or in a long term relationship where we both seemed to be going through the motions.

Turbo, most of us hope you're doing the right thing, and if you're happy, that's half the battle. good luck to the both of you, whatever the future brings.

chivo

[catzenmouse]

At work Elena is constantly told that she is too skinny. Of course, this is told by those who are 50+ pounds overweight so all it says to us is that they are jealous of her figure. While they are home in the evenings eating out of the ice cream container she's working out and always watches what she eats.

What was that saying I/O used about trying to cut down the tall flowers?

This is an interesting question, as my wife is frequently accused by other female teachers at her workplace of "making the rest of us look bad" by wearing heels and dresses to work instead of sneakers and sweat pants  . Conversely, I think a lot of women have the opinion that once they have "gotten their man" the work is over, because the threat of a Divorce where she can take half his assets, and the threat of child support where she can take half his income for the next 20+ years, is enough to keep him around. I honestly don't know, but always find it amusing when Lil comes home with a story like yesterday: It seems a 220lb "grey mouse" found the need to comment to my wife about her lovely dress "You look great in that! I bet you'd look really fantastic if you started going to the Gym!" Who the hell does this 100kg sloth think she is, making a comment like that to a woman that's 56kg(125lb) and 173cm(5'8")? This woman probably wouldn't benefit from a year of trips to the Gym 

[vwrw]

chivo,
I was melting with a huge smile on my face when I was reading your post. Thank you for the little bit of joy your word brought to me!

Bruno, I very much liked your joke. I was glad to read that you have found a new lady worthy of your admiration and your attention! Do you not want to share with us why your last relationship did not work out?

BillyB, thank you!

It is amazing that many RW manage to keep their body in good form in America. It is really a difficult task if we take into consideration the huge quantity of food’s advertisements American people have to see everywhere. Watching the appetizing food does not help one to hold a strict diet.   The food’s advertisements were the only thing I disliked in America.

[Voyageur]

TurboGuy and VWRW,

Congratulations from both of us!

For personal reasons, I can't check this forum as much as I used to - I hope this will change in a few weeks, so I apologize for the late notice.

But it has been a long road for you, and although I didn't fully agree with you, I can't deny that you are very driven and focused when you set your mind to something. We were both approved for K1 visa about the same time and we have taken different roads, both of us wish you happiness and a good road ahead.

With best regards.

[Turboguy]

Hi Voyager,  Thanks, I appreciate that.  Sometimes roads have some bumps and twists and sometimes they turn out not to go where you expected but I think if you end up where you wanted to go all is well.  I am ending up with a very terrific woman.   The best woman for me I could ever have dreamed of. 

I can't even convince her that the age plays no factor so I won't waste my breath trying to convince anyone else but it really has nothing to do with how I feel about her.  I hope things are well with you and that you can come back more often.   We all miss you.

[CaptB]

Congratulations Turbo & VWRW,

I have been away from the board this week. The wife is visiting in Stavropol for a few weeks.........so I have had to pick-up the slack around the house. The easy part was those "vacations" you took together........now the real work begins. I was lucky.....as my wife was an English professor for 16 years.....so language adjustments were minimal (except for American "slang"......which my wife learned.....composes a significant part of the language). Other adjustments to culture.....and each other......take time. The real proof that things are good after 4 years of marriage......my wife is on vacation back home for a few weeks......and I already "miss" even her annoying habits According to her....the feeling is mutual. Good luck.


Marc & Vika

[Turboguy]

Hi Marc,

Welcome back from you hiatus and thanks for the good wishes.   I agree the real work will start when she gets here and I don't plan to count any real victories until way down the line.   I too am lucky that VWRW has great English, not perfect yet but close and more than good enough that we can communicate about anything.  Having been in a relationship before where communcations were at best OK I can appreciate the difference.  VWRW does not have too many annoying habits for me to miss.   I am the one that is the work in progress and the closest thing she has to an annoying habit trying to keep me straight and that doesn't bother me.   

[KenC]

 I am the one that is the work in progress and the closest thing she has to an annoying habit trying to keep me straight and that doesn't bother me.   

Turbo,
Please, too much information!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KenC

[vwrw]

Today, finally DHL delivered me my visa!!! So all my worries got out of my head and I became able to analyze the past event – the interview.
I have some conclusions which (I hope) may help somebody.
1. It would be better if woman thinks of the C/O as of a wizard who may give her authorization to get beside her beloved, not as of an enemy who wants to refuse her request of visa. The more positive attitude about the C/O your fiancee has, the more chance she will make a good impression on the C/O and the more serene she will feel during the interview.  The C/Os are professional psychologists, so if your relationship is build on love or at least a sincere bond they will easy understand and see that fact.     

2. It could be good thing if you send to your fiancee the possible questions the C/O may ask her. It will help her to understand what she should talk with the C/O about to help him/her to make a positive decision. I could advise all women to formulate answers to the all possible questions and speak out loud to herself, the day before the interview.

3. When C/O asks your fiancee questions about your relationship and you, she should look for the opportunity to tell him more than the C/O asks her. I was at the embassy two times; I was a witness of more than 10 interviews. I have impression that in most cases, the more brief answer a woman gives to, the more questions she has to answer. The more questions C/O asks, the bigger chance one of the question will be difficult.
When the C/O asked me – has Turbo been in Russia? I did not answer the brief “Yes, he had been.” I added how many times he visited me in Russia; how many meeting we had; how much time we have spent face to face; why we have had pleasure of spending time together; what we have in common; what qualities I like best about Turbo, etc…it was very easy for me to formulate and speak out the information so as all these questions are in the list of the possible questions.

A little bragging… I passed the interview in English! After question “Do you speak English?” there were NOT more Russian words in our conversation.

Please, accept my warmest thanks for this victory so as most of you made contributions to that by your advices, ideas, knowledge, the challenges you gave us, and even by the speculation “what-ifs”. All those have helped our relationship to be strong. I know that the most difficult things are still ahead but knowing there are YOU members of RWD here and I am with an optimism look in the future.

       

[KenC]

Let me be the first to congratulate you!
KenC

[catzenmouse]

Congratulations VWRW! You can really start those Honey Do and Honey Did lists now!

Here's hoping the "Do" list stays longer than the "Did" list... 

Ken

[Jumper]

I saved my reply , until you had the visa in hand..

 Congratulations and very best wishes  to you and Ray!

[KenC]

VWRW,
I do think you make a very good point on how to handle the interview that should not be overlooked.  Instead of the agent pulling information out of you, if the lady starts gushing details to him, he will automatically understand that time has been spent to develop a real relationship.  Sometimes the best defense is a good offense.
KenC

[Vaughn]

Congratulations, both of you! I also decided to wait until the elusive visa was
in your hands....   nice narrative about preparedness, vwrw! I've always preached
that the K-1 applicant should be very familiar with every tidbit of information on
all submitted forms - as those forms are usually all the C/O has to go on. Your
suggestion of confidence is solid advice.

My wife knew very little English at the time of interview (2002) so just to be
prepared for any language objections, she had my original diploma from my
Air Force language training. Our feeling was if you could foresee a possible objection,
then it was prudent to cover it with documentation.

Confidence. Way to go!

Vaughn

[vwrw]

Here's hoping the "Do" list stays longer than the "Did" list... 

Ken

Ken, thank you and one of your wise advices it has been some months as I did not enter a new item in the “Did” list

From Ken: Ray,
 By now I think you should have learned about this.
1)   You are wrong. You have always been wrong. You always will be wrong.
 2) VWRW is right. VWRW has always been right. VWRW always will be right.
 Write that down and repeat it several times a day. If you get confused read what you wrote. Soon everything will be okay and you won't need to worry about anything.   
Ken

From Tolstoy: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.'

vwrw: Ken, I am curious how you think…could it be the truth that the thing which makes all of the happy families to be alike is the rule- “a husband willingly does what his wife says him to do and when she says him to do that.”   

Guys, thank you for your congratulations and your compliments!!! I was very glad to read them!

[Admin]

Ken, thank you and one of your wise advices it has been some months as I did not enter a new item in the “Did” list

From Ken: Ray,
 By now I think you should have learned about this.
1)   You are wrong. You have always been wrong. You always will be wrong.
 2) VWRW is right. VWRW has always been right. VWRW always will be right.
 Write that down and repeat it several times a day. If you get confused read what you wrote. Soon everything will be okay and you won't need to worry about anything.   
Ken

From Tolstoy: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.'

vwrw: Ken, I am curious how you think…could it be the truth that the thing which makes all of the happy families to be alike is the rule- “a husband willingly does what his wife says him to do and when she says him to do that.”   

Guys, thank you for your congratulations and your compliments!!! I was very glad to read them!

Guys sometimes make jokes about it - but I recall reading a scientific study a while back (don't have time to find the source right now), which was a surprise to the researchers. They were conducting research into the common elements of long-term reportedly successful marriages. The one most significant characteristic was - the men did, indeed, follow the instructions of their wives.

I'll try to look it up when I get the chance and post the reference.

- Dan

[Turboguy]

Wow, I have made it some months without anything on the "honey did" list.   I was only pretty sure on one month since it has been that long we have been apart.

I find it interesting and confusing that there seems to be two concepts talked about on RWD about how to keep a RW happy.  Please keep in mind that I am staying this a little tongue in cheek, or as a joke if you prefer.

One concept seems to be that you must be "the" man, preferably an Alpha type guy who takes charge, makes decisions.  A strong, dynamic, forceful and decisive.  Otherwise she will never respect you and you are going to be a train wreck

The other concept important is that you accept that she will always be right and you will always be wrong, that you devote your life to her happiness forsaking your own interests.  That you give her control of everything from your checkbook to your life.  That you give up all your habits and accept hers taking your shoes off, eating smoked fish, etc.  Otherwise she is not going to be happy and you will loose her.

Now it sort of seems to me that the secret of sauces is to manage to be a dynamic "A" person and simultaneously being a pussywhipped wuss.   Makes me wonder how any of us keep our sanity but since I don't see any of us who would want anyone but a RW I guess we cope somehow.

    :selfharm:

Dan,  I think there is a lot of truth in that and would enjoy seeing what it said.

[KenC]

Wow, I have made it some months without anything on the "honey did" list.   I was only pretty sure on one month since it has been that long we have been apart.

I find it interesting and confusing that there seems to be two concepts talked about on RWD about how to keep a RW happy.  Please keep in mind that I am staying this a little tongue in cheek, or as a joke if you prefer.

One concept seems to be that you must be "the" man, preferably an Alpha type guy who takes charge, makes decisions.  A strong, dynamic, forceful and decisive.  Otherwise she will never respect you and you are going to be a train wreck

The other concept important is that you accept that she will always be right and you will always be wrong, that you devote your life to her happiness forsaking your own interests.  That you give her control of everything from your checkbook to your life.  That you give up all your habits and accept hers taking your shoes off, eating smoked fish, etc.  Otherwise she is not going to be happy and you will loose her.

Now it sort of seems to me that the secret of sauces is to manage to be a dynamic "A" person and simultaneously being a pussywhipped wuss.    Makes me wonder how any of us keep our sanity but since I don't see any of us who would want anyone but a RW I guess we cope somehow.

    :selfharm:

Dan,  I think there is a lot of truth in that and would enjoy seeing what it said.

Turbo,
Now you may understand why I have to come here and kick YOUR ass from time to time!  (Gotta have a release for that "Alpha male" crap somewhere) 
KenC

[catzenmouse]

Wow, I have made it some months without anything on the "honey did" list.   I was only pretty sure on one month since it has been that long we have been apart.

I find it interesting and confusing that there seems to be two concepts talked about on RWD about how to keep a RW happy.  Please keep in mind that I am staying this a little tongue in cheek, or as a joke if you prefer.

One concept seems to be that you must be "the" man, preferably an Alpha type guy who takes charge, makes decisions.  A strong, dynamic, forceful and decisive.  Otherwise she will never respect you and you are going to be a train wreck

Yes, you should be the "man" and as long as you make the RIGHT decision you will be fine and she will appreciate it. Part of making the right decision is making the one that she wants you to make. 

The other concept important is that you accept that she will always be right and you will always be wrong, that you devote your life to her happiness forsaking your own interests.  That you give her control of everything from your checkbook to your life.  That you give up all your habits and accept hers taking your shoes off, eating smoked fish, etc.  Otherwise she is not going to be happy and you will loose her.

Now it sort of seems to me that the secret of sauces is to manage to be a dynamic "A" person and simultaneously being a pussywhipped wuss.   Makes me wonder how any of us keep our sanity but since I don't see any of us who would want anyone but a RW I guess we cope somehow.

So in the end there are two ways of thinking. The wrong way and her way. Pretty simple concept.

Ken
 - doing his best to find that big Honey Did eraser 

[Jumper]

Ray
you should alreadly know it's not a condundrum,..it's  easy!!
 and just like ken posted..

Boldly make all the decisions,, just be sure to make the ones she wanted you to make.
(yes read her mind when nesssary,,it's part of a good husbands job LOL )

and of coiurse you should understand,,
that if the decisions  end up being  right, they were her decisions,
 if they end up being poor choices or  wrong..
then regardless what your mind remembers her saying,
..they were your decisions  !
and yes you will be reminded that you shouldn't have done that.

Women are just great at pointing out the obvious.
(notice i did not exclude RW , from all women in general)
LOL


 
RW Generalities.. (yes just my silly opinion and generalities )

RW strong points-  willingness to forgive and easily move on when you dont make the decision she wanted..lol
(if she loves you, she will still love you devotedly ,even if you screw up,15 mins later all will be fine)

willingness (and a strong will) to put in real honest to goodness effort,,into life, love ,anything they set thier mind to.



RW weakest point-
pride.
 they like salty fish,, a lot.
but don't like the taste of crow, at ALL.
(noone really does, but they despise it more than most ,imho)
 

yes these are just silly generalizations and you can find a  RW..
of every character.

[wiz]

Turbo

Long journey to find happiness and for what you were looking for but now your freedom days are over and the 12 October is coming fast and you will be a very happy man meeting vwrw in JFK. Make sure you go to the right meeting place and don’t let Iren to panic….like you did in Egypt…LOL

I wish you both all the best and we hope to hearing about your new life and how she is settling into your country.

Wiz

[jj]

congratulations to both of you.  Marina and Tatiana's visa came within 5 days.  We are now settling in to our house.  I am trying to catch up at work.  All is well. I wish you happiness.

[Turboguy]

Thanks Wiz and JJ.  JJ, I am glad to hear things are going well and you have started your life together.  I am sure there is always some adjustment and I wish you the best of luck and a long happy future together.

[corp]

Turbo, I have been following your progress from time to time on here and VJ
I am glad to hear this phase is over for you and now you two can proceed on.

I wish you two long-term happiness together.

[Turboguy]

Thank you Corp.  I think we both were beginning to wonder if the visa stage would ever be over so it is great to have that behind us.  We both appreciate the good wishes.