An AMAZING week

[ScottinCrimea]

Kuna,
     So glad to hear that everything continues to be so great.  Too many times here we read of others who found the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and then wonder why things go bad.  You have shown the joys of doing things right.  I hope the honeymon period contiues for a long time.  My wife has been here for over a month now and things just keep getting better. There have been the occasional frustrations and tears for her as she branches out and tries to do more on her own, and I'm sure you'll be dealing with those moments.  For example, she decided to put gas in her car for the first time.  Unfortunately she went to the wrong pump and by the time she figured this out, she owed more money than she had. Her debit and credit cards weren't activated yet, and she was stuck.  I just happened to be out of state so I couldn't come to her rescue and they wouldn't allow interstate transfer of funds to cover the charge.  I also couldn't find anyone who was home and could come to her aid. So she had to sit and wait for the police to come to make a report.  Fortunately he was very kind and agreed to let her go as long as someone came and paid the balance before he got off shift that evening.  I was able to contact my sister who took care of things later, but you can only imagine her feelings as she visited with the police in a strange country discussing a system that she knew little about.  You can be sure that I have since taken care of things so that she will be covered in any similar situation, but sometimes it's difficult to anticipate all the possible ways that she can run into problems that for us are normal but totally foreign to them.

[SANDRO43]

Maybe a new thread would be apropos: Murphy's Law and its Effects on Relocated FSUW ?

[ScottinCrimea]

Maybe a new thread would be apropos: Murphy's Law and its Effects on Relocated FSUW ?

Do Russians have something similar?  Perhaps Murfeovich's Law?

[jj]

Kuna- congrats on finding your other half.  Heres hoping all go's well with your plans and her move.  Best of luck to you.  Goodaay mate.  -jj

[Kuna]

Kuna,
     So glad to hear that everything continues to be so great.  Too many times here we read of others who found the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and then wonder why things go bad.  You have shown the joys of doing things right.  I hope the honeymon period contiues for a long time.  My wife has been here for over a month now and things just keep getting better. There have been the occasional frustrations and tears for her as she branches out and tries to do more on her own, and I'm sure you'll be dealing with those moments.  For example, she decided to put gas in her car for the first time.  Unfortunately she went to the wrong pump and by the time she figured this out, she owed more money than she had. Her debit and credit cards weren't activated yet, and she was stuck.  I just happened to be out of state so I couldn't come to her rescue and they wouldn't allow interstate transfer of funds to cover the charge.  I also couldn't find anyone who was home and could come to her aid. So she had to sit and wait for the police to come to make a report.  Fortunately he was very kind and agreed to let her go as long as someone came and paid the balance before he got off shift that evening.  I was able to contact my sister who took care of things later, but you can only imagine her feelings as she visited with the police in a strange country discussing a system that she knew little about.  You can be sure that I have since taken care of things so that she will be covered in any similar situation, but sometimes it's difficult to anticipate all the possible ways that she can run into problems that for us are normal but totally foreign to them.

Scott,  I really feel for your wife....  I can imagine how upset My Girl would be in a similar situation.

jj,  Cheers... thanks for your good wishes...  It's an incredible feeling to wake up and see her "sleep till blue" right next to me in the bed.

jb,  I'm sure our relationship will grow in strength because we're compatible and committed to each other.  Still, I know there will be times when she will feel frustrated because it's not "normal" for her to have so much time on her hands.  Study will help to fix that...  I hope.

DKMM, Sometimes I feel like I got lucky but my first stroke of luck was finding RWD AND had enough sense to listen to the advice.  I was also extremely lucky to have found someone with the character I've found.  It's been hard work though... for both of us.  I keep on reminding myself what a HUGE step my girl has taken in leaving everything she knows behind to find the "family" she has always wanted.

I've gotta tell you...  the thing I can't describe here is the laughter and fun we are having.  Little things.  Small comments that aren't just funny in isolation but funny because they are like a silver thread joining together our conversations and activities from the past.  She has a wonderful sense of humour and never fails to say things or do things that surpirse and delight me.


OK... quick update.  I spent virtually a full day in the office yesterday and only received one call.  "Kuna, where do I find onion?"  This might seem to be a totally ridiculous thing to be happy about but it was a refreshing interlude in a rather frantic day.

It was also great for her to ask me where something was to reverse a little of our new game in the house, "Honey, where is the XYZ?" 

Seriously...  I can't find a thing!  I'm lucky all fingers and toes are attached otherwise it'd take forever to find them in the morning before going to work!   

Last night My Girl made Vareniki (sp??) for dinner and as always when she does something that requires effort, the look of concentration and pride was written all over her face. I've really got to get some photos up here so I can share the joy in our home at the moment.

I think I mentioned she wanted to invite some friends over for dinner on Friday so I made the invitations yesterday and received the enthusiastic replies by the time I got home.  I told My Girl who would be coming and immediately a new look appeared on her face.  Was it worry?  Was it panic?  Was it concern?  I don't know... What I do know is that the conversation went something like this:

"M & S will be here for dinner on Friday.  You'll like them very much.  S wants to take you shopping when you settle in a little.  P is coming too.  He'll be bringing his photos from his last trip to Ukraine.  I thought it would be fun to see Ukraine through someone else's eyes.  Oh, I don't know if I should invite S or J???  Both are very nice but I think you might get on with J a little better".

*the look appears*

"What's the matter honey"?

"Nothing is matter. I just think about what I will make. What time will you be home on Friday?"

"I can be home at 4pm.  What would you like to make for dinner?"

"Holubtsi, and salad, and something else... I will think."

"What time should I tell everyone to be here?"

"You will be home at 4?  Tell them 7."

"7?  OK, I can be home at 3 if you would like them to arrive at 6".

"No, 7 is best, you come home at 3.  I will need to make make-up and make clothes nice for your friends.  You can help me prepare dinner. I think we should make pie... or cake.  Do you think pie or cake?"

"I think I am happy with anything you want to do.  Maybe a pie?"

"OK, I will think.  We need to make a list for the wedding... and make invitations for the family. I need to find dress and we need to book everthing."

"OK honey, we'll make the list tonight."

... and then another happy evening emerged (as expected).

[ScottinCrimea]

Kuna, It sounds like you have the "Yes, dear" thing down just fine.  That's half the battle. 

[jj]

Kuna-  you are right about the  little things that makes life interesting with FSU  woman living with us .  There some ways that she says things I would rather not correct, but even find myself saying them myself and smiling.  For example, instead of  "just in case ...."  she says "just for case...".  Now I find my self saying  "we will bring this just for case" and smiling.   I know what you mean about cooking also.   My Marina loves to watch my expression when she trys a new dish with .  She once made some little apple "fritter" like pies with apples from our one apple tree.  I commented how good they were and the next day she made a dozen more and insisted I take 3 or 4 for myself to work and give some to my employees.   The list of special things is to long to mention here but she is eager to please and I can't help but love that.

[Mir]

but my first stroke of luck was finding RWD AND had enough sense to listen to the advice

Kuna

It might be of benefit if you can maybe produce a list of the good advice you received and how it helped you in your quest?

Best of luck for your marriage and future.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Congrat Kuna.  Sounds like you two are having a awesome time.

I am hoping to get back to Oz after we get our spouse visa on the way to the states.  If we are in your neck of the woods I will buy you a beer.  I grew to love the bundy there and it is great for removing paint on cars. 


Any date on the wedding or are you two taking your time?


Thomas

[Kuna]

Kuna-  you are right about the  little things that makes life interesting with FSU  woman living with us .  There some ways that she says things I would rather not correct, but even find myself saying them myself and smiling.  For example, instead of  "just in case ...."  she says "just for case...".  Now I find my self saying  "we will bring this just for case" and smiling.   I know what you mean about cooking also.   My Marina loves to watch my expression when she trys a new dish with .  She once made some little apple "fritter" like pies with apples from our one apple tree.  I commented how good they were and the next day she made a dozen more and insisted I take 3 or 4 for myself to work and give some to my employees.   The list of special things is to long to mention here but she is eager to please and I can't help but love that.

jj,

Sounds great.... what I want to know is "Did you sahre the extra apple fritters with your staff?"   

The special things...  one of the greatest gifts My Girl is giving me is the look of pure appreciation (appreciation of the moment) that comes over her face every now and then (sometimes daily...  often more than a few times per day).

mir,

Maybe...  it'd be a bit of a task to get something comprehensive together but it might make a worthy thread of "one way to do it"....  I will need time though... and I don't have much of that at the moment.

LFUKR,

   Can't drink Bundy... too sweet for me.  Don't want to end up like a frequent Bundy drinker either.   

re: the wedding.  We found perfect venues on the weekend (after walking for an eternity) and now have a few things to organise before we can fix a date.  Her family (8 of them) will be coming from Russia so a lot will depend on the speed of getting visas.  After My Girls fiance visa was approved at lightening speed she expects all visas in future to be just as easy.   

Our preference is to marry sooner rather than later...  maybe as soon as November 17 but if it's much later than that it really starts to get hot here so we'd leave it until the weather is a little more bearable.

We'll see... a couple of phone calls and meetings today will define the date.

btw...  we have 9 months to marry on our Fiance Visa so there's no real rush... expect for our desire to marry and move on with the rest of our lives....

[Kuna]

Geeeez... been so busy... done so much...  I'm going to have to abbreviate because I'm a little short on time this morning...

I can't even remember what we did since my last post but the weekend is still clear in my head.

Friday night we had friends over for dinner (first "Dinner Party") and all was wonderful.  One of my friends (who is English) bought My Girl a gift and when she opened it we discovered a 5' tall blow-up kangaroo.  It was great... really funny... and the photos of her blowing it up and posing with it were great too.

She made holubtsi, potatoes and salad and all went down very well.  All the men had seconds and after dinner photos of Ukraine came out.  A few of my friends hadn't seen my holiday pics so some were very surprised at the beauty of Ukraine. I was shattered after working till midnight the night before so I was glad when everyone got the hint (fairly early) and said their goodbyes.

Saturday morning we were out to search for wedding venues and I've realised if I ever want to work out how My Girl is feeling all I need to do is take a photo of her.  Ya know...  I thought maybe she had an incredibly vivacious "photo face" she could turn on when a camera comes out because she is so photogenic but at one of the parks we went to she almost immediately said "No, I do not like this park" and afterwards when I looked at the photos we took there I realised you can see her pleasure or displeasure clearly in photos.  Nope... we won't be married in that park.

(btw... for any locals reading this it was New Farm Park.  She didn't like it because there was too much open space... not filled enough with interesting trees and water features.)

Next was another park (Old historical house... well... as old as they get in my town - nothing like Europe mind you) and while we both liked this park the road noise from across the river wasn't ideal. 

Next was our cities botanical gardens and there are ample places you can use there.  We found one place in there (out of 9 or so formal gardens) that she REALLY liked but still the search went on... "Just in case there is better".

There is a park I wanted to walk to just to show her but I hadn't considered marrying there.  (again, for locals... Southbank Parklands)  When we walked across the bridge (over the river) there was immediately one place that was better than all others we'd seen but after we'd snaked our way through the gardens we walked through the rainforest boardwalk and she immediately said "Here,  we will marry here".  Well... I guess that's great... we know where we're getting married but now we had to find a suitable place for the reception ("party").

Originally we were going to marry on a nearby island but transport on and off the island was going to be a bit of a pain for everyone so we decided to give that a miss.  On the island we were going to rent one of the houses (8 bedrooms, big deck, swimming pool, big view of the ocean from a hill) and have a catered "cocktail party" but now were we in the city we really didn't have a clue.

One 2 minutes after solving the "ceremony question" My Girl also solved the "Reception question".  Right next to the rainforest gardens there is a Nepalese Pagoda and immediately upon seeing it I here those familiar (and very welcomed words) "We will have it here".

"Pardon My Love?"

"The party. We will have it here".

Hmmmm.... damn fine idea.  Views of the city and river.  Nepalese Pagoda.  Nice big clean paved area under the edge of the rainforest canopy. Toilets close.  Able to be catered. Easy to get to and home. No one will get lost... everyone knows the Nepalese Pagoda in my town.

So at home that night I went on line and made the necessary web enquiries, and today I will get the rest of the details.

Sunday morning we were up early (not too early) and off across the river to pick up a few things and then we headed up to the Sunshine Coast for drive through so pretty typical country town and a walk through some local rain forests.  We chose a place called Kondalilla Falls and walked the 2km or so down a steep walk to get into the valley where a natural rock pool and waterfall welcomes out of breath sightseers.  The problem with Kondalilla isn't the distance it the gradient in the decent which can be a small surprise for those that haven't seen it before but it was great to experience her reactions on her first walk into a rainforect.  We spent a little time at the bottom and then took an alternate route back up to the top.

We took both cameras and something I've realised about My Girl is that she has a wonderful eye for photography.  Not so much the technical settings on her camera but the way she fills the frame and the quality of the images she captures are really something else.

When she settles into a career here she doesn't want to work in her profession (Law and/or Ecomonics/Finance) but rather would like to find something creative to pursue.  I can see why now because she seems to have a real flair for space and balance which doesn't come naturally to me.


On the way home we stopped into my mothers house for an impromptu dinner and a "drop in visit" from one of my sisters.  Out of interest I saw a slight surpise at the immediate kiss and embrace not only from my sister but also from my niece and newphew (as is customary in our family).

My Girl and my mother discussed wedding cakes for about an hour (photos, books, samples etc) and after all of the decisions were made we said our goodbyes and made our way home after a very long day.

We really would like to marry as soon as practical but we have a few show-stoppers that will be addressed today.  Getting everything booked and arranged here at such short notice is't going to be easy but My Girl is confident "all can be done".

The heat later in the year is something heavily on our minds because having an outdoors wedding won't be pleasant if it's too hot and we'd both prefer something "in nature" if possible.

We'll see how things go today but hopefully we can get everything in place.

Gotta run... another week starts!

Kuna

p.s.  Everything is as good if not better than I expected.  I feel like things are starting to settle down now after the initial excitement and we're both getting pleasure from the small things that happen everyday.  She's still having some issues with many of the electrical things around our home (blocked the insinkerator and thought it was her fault the main bathroom light blew) but we're both having fun with it whenever she touches any electrical appliance.   

[SANDRO43]

The heat later in the year is something heavily on our minds because having an outdoors wedding won't be pleasant if it's too hot and we'd both prefer something "in nature" if possible.

Does it get any cooler after sunset ? A pagoda seen under the light of torches, for instance, might be rather impressive .

[Kuna]

Sandro,

It does get cooler after sunset but the pagoda is out.  Too expensive unfortunately after adding up all the costs AND the Public Liability Insurance bill as a result of alcohol being at the function.   


Things have been exceedingly busy here recently so I haven't had time for an update.  I promise not to comment on shoe shopping but an update might help others in future imagine what things MIGHT be like.

1. Arranging the wedding.
Classic comment #1: "It is possible to arrange a wedding in one month.  No problems.  You will see... I will do all".

Problem #1: Arranging a wedding for the last weekend in November in my city is easy... Arranging a reception party is not.  So far all the venues we've wanted are either booked, only had areas available that are too large, or they're asking for a guaranteed minimum spend that works out to nearly $250 per head for dinner and drinks.  I've tried to explain that it would be more reasonable "per head" if we invited more people but "we" are pretty adamant we don't want a big wedding.   

Wedding plans continue but there is light at the end of the tunnel...  I think!

2. Compassion through common sense and conviction.
My mother had her 75th birthday on Monday and said she wanted a family dinner the weekend after.  I suggested we come out on the night of her birthday and in her usual stubborn Euro-manner she said "No, I want my family dinner on Sunday".  There's a little more to it than that but I tried to explain it to My Girl but she just didn't understand.

Classic Comment #2: "It's Mama's birthday. Even if she says she wants to be alone tonight she does not.  We will go, even only for coffee".

Problem #2:  My Girl doesn't really know how stubborn my mother can be.

Problem #3: I didn't really understand what my mother was feeling.

We picked up flowers on the way to my mothers house and when arriving (a surprise visit) my mother looked a bit shocked when she answered the door.  My Girl had a dazzling smile on her face when she handed my mother the flowers and after kisses and hugs were exchanged we sat and talked over coffee.  More of my mothers mood came out and she had a little cry.  My Girl stood and hugged my mother in a very tender embrace and for one of the first times ever I saw vulnerability in my mother as I watched My Girl in complete awe.  I'm one lucky bas tard and I swear I will NEVER F this up!

3. The Spray Tan
My girl doesn't like tanning.  She has beautiful alabaster skin.  Her wedding dress is apparently a little revealing ("Just a little show" - as tries to set my mind at ease) so she said she needed a light tan for the dress.  I know NOTHING about tanning but had heard the best results come from a spray on tan if someone doesn't want to get sunburn.  I made some calls to try to surprise My Girl with a home visit from a woman recommended by some of the girls in my office.

All arrangements were in place.  A home visit on Friday for the trial tan and then a few days before the wedding the woman would return to redo it.

$45 a pop... no problems.

Classic Comment #3:  "I will not pay $45 for tan. It is ridiculous.  We will find better tan."

Problem #4:  I already mentioned it.. I know NOTHING ABOUT FAKE TANS!

I got a phone call a few minutes ago telling me she found a product she knew of in UKR and it only costs $6 here.  Apply it every day for 5 days and she will have a light tan. Apparently it's also cheaper here than in Ukraine so she's currently trying to work out how to send boxes of the stuff back to her friends.

4. The IM Account
On arriving at home last night I was ushered straight to My Girls notebook to show me the successful download and use of an IM tool so she can chat with her friends in UKR and family in Moscow.

Classic Comment #4:  It wasn't a comment.  I was touched that her name in the IM software was [HerChristianName] + [MySurname]

Problem #5:  No problem... She just said she wants people to call her "this name" from now on!

5. Grocery Shopping
We have a list on the fridge of all of the things we must buy when we go grocery shopping.  Unlike other stories I've heard there's no issue over buying for the week (or the fortnight as I usually do - except for fresh fruit and veggies).

Classic Comment #5:  "I like shops here but I still don't like shopping.  We must shop quickly to have all finished."

Problem #6:  The list reads like a riddle.  [Washmachine Clean]. [Cleaning for window]. [Assorted Russian words I'm supposed to understand]

Problem #7: No matter what the intent is... nothing seems to happen quickly!

6. Cigarettes
I've been struggling to give up the fags (no comments please ste!    ) and even though it isn't FORCED by My Girl she's much happier knowing I am trying (yet again) to give them up.  I made it to 4 days and during a phone call with a family member she could see I was a bit "flabbergasted".  She excuses her self and returns after the call was finished, makes a cup of tea and presents me with chocolate (I think for her) and a packet of cigs (for me).  She'd nipped up the shop because I think she could tell I would LOVE a smoke right there and then.

Classic Comment #5: "You need these... but not too many!"

Problem #8:  Anyone that has tried to give up smoking KNOWS you can't just stop at one.

Packed was smoked and a few days later I bought another pack.  One night at home new packet of cigarettes goes missing.  I'm informed that I can buy cigarettes and she will hold them.  She'll let me know when it's OK to have one.   

Problem #9: It's a slow and painful torture I tell ya! 


All in all things are great...  Please don't misunderstand the things I've written to suggest everything is "perfect".  There have been some trying times and some moments that require a deep breath but without reservation I can say that we're having a wonderful time.

My Girl is amazing.  In so many ways she makes EVERY moment a true pleasure and every now and then she does something to send my heart and mind screaming off into the universe.

Those times come from a simple look or smile.  A comment that is unexpected or a thought that escapes her lips before she has time to trap it inside.

Two final examples:

One
This morning over breakfast I commented that I wanted to cook dinner for her tonight... I LOVE COOKING and believe I can "serve up a feed" equal to any restaurant in my city...

I said I wanted to cook and she said "No, I will cook".  I said she is doing far more than me in the home and I want to do something special for her so she can relax.

With the cheekiest little grin and twinkle in her eye she tilted her head and said, "I will study soon and then you can do many special things while I learn.  My time for relax will come."

I love it... cheeky and playful...  perfect for me!

Two
For our wedding we're planning a few small gestures.  She has translated my vows into Russian and I will speak in Russian at the appropriate times and she will speak in English.

I've said that I won't be able to make my speech in Russian so I want her to translate "on the fly" for her family.  I've told her she will have to translate because our other Russian speaking friends may miss something important, "So we must practice".   

It goes something like this:

"Mum, Mama, Our Family from Russia and Our Family from Australia. Welcome to this very special day blah blah blah."

She's fine up to this point... but...

"I love [My Girl] so much because X, Y Z"... and at that point she turns beetroot red, squirms, jumps up, runs a few steps, squirms again, screams again and begs me not to say these things that she must say to her mother because "I can't,.... Kuuuuna... I can't say these things to Mama... I will die... I can't speak like this...  it is SOOOOO embarrassing....  PPPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE....."

I love it... she's so funny.... we laugh so much.... and I'm just going to have to get it on video before I let her know I've organised a translator to be with Mama and the family throughout the wedding so they can share in all of the "English action" happening around them.



Anyway...  this is a huge post...  I'll finish now...  still busy but I wanted to give a little update on how wonderful things CAN BE if others are as fortunate as I've been to date.

Kuna

[DKMM]

I'm enjoying this a lot Kuna, keep em up!  You are getting her family there for the wedding?  I'm impressed.

[Gator]

Kuna,

Everything indeed seems amazing!  I agree with DKMM, it is a marvelous gesture to bring her family to the wedding, recalling how important they are to her.

[Misha]

Everything seems to be going extremely well, but the culture shock has not hit yet. In my experience, it does not start right away, rather in a few weeks or a month when the initial euphoria has worn off. Given that you are preparing a wedding, it probably won't hit until a couple weeks later when everybody has gone home and the routine of daily life sets in. This is what happened to my wife and me: we were married a bit more than a month after she arrived to Canada (we will be celebrating our first anniversary this weekend). The real culture shock and stress started a couple weeks after the wedding, and only now is it finally starting to subside.

[KenC]

Everything seems to be going extremely well, but the culture shock has not hit yet. In my experience, it does not start right away, rather in a few weeks or a month when the initial euphoria has worn off. Given that you are preparing a wedding, it probably won't hit until a couple weeks later when everybody has gone home and the routine of daily life sets in. This is what happened to my wife and me: we were married a bit more than a month after she arrived to Canada (we will be celebrating our first anniversary this weekend). The real culture shock and stress started a couple weeks after the wedding, and only now is it finally starting to subside.

gabaub,
Your post in right on the money!  It takes years for them to really acclimate to their new country and some of the culture shock never goes away completely.

BTW, congrats on your anniversary and I hope you have some special plans.
KenC

[Gator]

Gabuab,

Congratulations on your anniversary.  Insightful post.  Kuna and his girl have strong determination and they seem committed to make it happen.  That should help, but what do I know having never married one of these aliens.

[Misha]

Thanks Ken and Gator! My wife loves sushi, so we will be going to a nice Japanese restaurant to celebrate. I agree that Kuna is committed and that he wants to make this work. He should really enjoy these first weeks, but be ready to help and support his wife when the culture shock sets in. It can be quite difficult and draining emotionally for both her and him.

[Kuna]

Gator,

"Aliens" is one word for them...  "Beautiful CREATURES" could be another way to describe them.   


Ken and gabaub,

I'm not so sure the "culture shock" will be something that hits My Girl but I am still anticipating some "dark days" when things settle more into a routine. 

Culturally she appears flexible enough to appreciate new things but I think she'll start missing her family and friends and hectic work-life more as time goes on.  Right now she's busy doing "stuff" so the challenge will be to keep her busy... and keep her busy doing valuable things!

(It doesn't hurt that we found a good Russian shop near-by with food, books and movies - we've been to a Gogol play - she watches the Russian and Ukrainian news on TV - and has found a video streaming site that seems to have 24 hr movies and Russian comedy free of charge. She's been planning for the wedding and has been helping out my BIL2B with some translations for business contracts, etc). 

Oh, my friend that married the Ukrainian girl 12 years ago...  that's been great.  I call him or he calls me and we get 5 minutes on the phone together and then the girls take over rattling on in Russian for an hour or more.  The other day I called and his wife answered...  I handed the phone to My Girl to say hello and after half an hour I called him on his mobile... FROM MY MOBILE.  There was NO CHANCE we were getting the home phones back that night...

Whatever type of "shock" she experiences I will always remember Mama's advice for a happy marriage, "Patience and Understanding"... I know everything sounds like it's going great... and it is... but boy oh boy Patience and Understanding is important!   

The good thing is I believe the attitudes are right.  At moments where I know we both feel frustration there's always a look, or gesture or comment that ends up with us hugging and having a laugh.  We both know how ridiculous this whole adventure is and it's the realism that is our greatest friend...  that and a good sense of humour!



As for the family coming for the wedding... 

The visa support letter (Invitation) still hasn't arrived in Moscow so we're getting a little worried about that. I'm about to phone the Embassy to ask for some help or suggest My Girl calls her "Embassy Angel" in Moscow to ask if we can submit an invitation by email or fax...  Considering our luck with the Australian Enbassy and Visa's so far ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Thankfully BIL2B does "very well for himself" in business so we'll just be picking up Mama's ticket, and BIL2B will be covering his, his wife's and their three children.     Moscow to Oz isn't cheap...  and our "small wedding" would double (or more) in price if there were six tickets to purchase.

Anyway... gotta run...  still trying to get around to those photos...   

[Mir]

I doubt that any self respecting person will expect you to pay for his and his family's tickets but I think if your MIL is not able to pay for the ticket herself then it would be a nice gesture of you pay for her, or at least offer to do so.

[Kuna]

I doubt that any self respecting person will expect you to pay for his and his family's tickets but I think if your MIL is not able to pay for the ticket herself then it would be a nice gesture of you pay for her, or at least offer to do so.

mir,

It goes without question we'd pay for Mama's ticket...  and we hope she will spend a few months with us every year as well as us having our trips back to see her and the family.  Her only concern about our relationship and marriage was that she would have grandchildren grow up so far away from her and possibly not speaking her language.

An undertaking we have made (to each other and the family) is that Mama will with us around the birth of children, and she will see them grow up (she's still quite young, healthy and active, and hopefully will stay like that for many years to come).  We're hoping that we will see her for at least two or three months per year... and that's probably more "face-to-face" time than my family will have with our children.

We will also encourage them to be bi-lingual (My Girl says AT LEAST bi-lingual      ), so they can communicate with Mama as a grandchild should.

If necessary we would at least have brought Mama and her sister here for the wedding but my BIL2B is on a different plain to me (and most likely any of us here) when it comes to nett worth.   He's done very well for himself in the new Russia and has insisted he bring the family for the wedding...

Still... there are visas to obtain - and while we believe it'll only take 10 days for them to be approved the wedding is in a month...  so I think it's time for a call to the Embassy. (Damn mail to FSU is like a lucky-dip! The invitations should have been there early last week (at worst) but still no sign of them.  I hope the Embassy will accept a fax or email.  At least we can show them the Express International Courier docket to show we DID post the invitations in plenty of time...)

Anyway...  we'll have to see what happens!

Kuna


Oh, by the way... I've been thinking about your suggestion that I start a thread with the "do's and don'ts" I discovered on my journey...  Of course it would only be from my perspective (and limited experience) only, but when I get some time I might try to do that.  I think there were a few absolute gems I discovered in here that were critical to my journey and it might be good to share that with others that might want to take a similar path.

[DKMM]

Kuna,

You are going to be very glad she lived in Germany for a while.  Having that experience under her belt has to help with adjusting to life in a new country.  This time she even has someone she knows (you) to help her out.   Until I read about the culture adjustment on RWD I never considered it so we should be glad to know to be aware of it before it comes.

That's great you are flying her family out for the wedding.  I looked into it, but it looks like its not possible.  You should know better than to use regular post to Ukraine!!

[Kuna]

Been a while since I updated this thread so....

1. Everything is going great...  What a fantastic girl!  What a lucky guy! What a good life!

2. Had a disagreement about the kitchen.  I LIKE cooking... and am allowed to do so on the weekend.  I wanted to cook one night last week and was told in no uncertain terms my turn for cooking was on the weekends...  and she would cook during the week. 

3. Apparently I'm a "peeeezeemist".  I've sometimes been accused of being an optimist!  When it comes to arranging weddings I try to play safe... but I'm still hearing that one can be arranged in a month.  Still waiting to see.

4. Visa for family are stressful.  Envelope never arrived in Moscow.  Embassy is accepting emailed and faxed documents from us.  Hopefully visa will be approved this week.

5. My Girl thinks we're all "Stranger" for organising things so much in advance.  Don't even consider booking tickets back to Moscow for January at the moment... "Eeez too early".

6. Driving lessons are looming...  so is a cat...  both will be positive additions to our home.

7. Koalas in trees are driving me nuts.  My sister called My Girl to tell her there is a koala with a baby taking up residence in a tree outside my nieces school. The school is a 40 minute drive away.  Every morning "we" want to go and see the koala...  I might have to give in by the weekend.   

8. Funny Funny night...  My Girl LOVES wildlife... and even though we live in the city centre (see picture for relative location of our apartment) we get to see lots of cool stuff.  A few nights ago we were taking a walk and a possum was sitting on a fence about head high.  She loved seeing it up close...  and I loved seeing the expressions on her face.  After about 10 minutes we continued on our way and came upon another park. This time I could hear a plover (small bird) and pointed out the call of the bird, and explained that they attack when they have young.  She LOVES wildlife.  We see two plovers on the ground and a chick in the middle being protected.  My Girl LOVES wildlife.  Straight away she marches closer for a look and you guessed it... one of the birds took off and swooped at us 3 or 4 times while we were trying to make for cover.  My Girl LOVES wildlife.... and wants to go back for a closer look soon.   

9. I can't give any advice at the moment but I CAN tell men who take this path that they definitely shouldn't underestimate the amount of time that is required once your lady arrives.  My Girl has been wonderful and is quite independent already (within reason) but I don't feel like I've had a moments rest in the past 5 weeks (I think it must be coming up to 5 weeks now).  I'm lucky because my work is quite flexible but I can imagine we might have had problems if I was working a normal 9 - 5 job (or worse) because there are small things that pop up all the time that need either one or both of our attention.

[KenC]

Kuna,
Thanks for keeping us updated.  I for one have enjoyed this thread very much.  I remember the time when Lena first arrived and as you said, it was totally consuming.  I laugh when I think about the truck driver that couldn't understand why he wouldn't be able to leave his new fsu bride and hit the road for a week or two.
KenC