Sumy wedding

[bgreed]

Hi All well here is the trip report I promised before I left to get married.  I am not the worlds greatest writer so please bear with me.

Just getting to the airport this time was a bit of an adventure in itself.  I had arranged for a friend of mine to let me drop my truck off at his house while I would be away and have him take me to the airport.  Allen is a great guy but not always the most reliable when it comes to being on time.  As most of you know I live in Louisiana on the North shore of Lake Ponchartrain which means one has to cross this wonderful body of water using the causeway.  If you can imagine being on a bridge for 24 miles you kind of get the picture.

Well everything that day had been going fine prior to my flight but then there were things that came up like a nice sized check I needed to pick up and deposit before I left.  Also I almost forgot to remember a couple of last minute items that Lena had asked me to bring.  So I am a little later than I would have liked getting on the causeway. And what do I find after just a short ride?  The drawbridge is up!  Now I have been here for months and have to go this way nearly everyday and I have yet to ever have seen this occurrence.  And we wait, not for just one boat  no that would be too easy but a grand total of eight have to pass this way.  So I’m starting to get a little antsy as I can see the vast parking lot of cars ahead of me and still have most of the way to go to get across the bridge.  Down goes the drawbridge and ever so slowly the traffic starts to move.  Have just gotten back up to the maximum allowable speed and I see brake lights!  Now what can it be has one of these swamp denizens forgotten how to drive in the time waiting for the drawbridge?  Nope, everybody’s favorite road construction yeah !!  So traffic slows to a crawl…  Finally past the work point and back up to speed.  My phone rings, it’s Allen  “Uh Gregg I’m running a little late I’ll be at the house in a few minutes”  Great more good news!!  I get to Allens house just as he arrives so the timing is good.  He goes to get something in the house while I load the back of his car with my bags.

Now something some of you know but for those who don’t Lena and I are expecting, SOON!  As in about five weeks at this writing.  So one of my suitcases and a good share of my suitcase is loaded with baby stuff. Pampers, but wipes, blankets, a breast pump, good Lord all kinds of stuff that I hadn’t used in years!  Of course this extra suitcase would remain in Ukraine so Lena would have it for her trip to me.

Trip to the airport was uneventful and all flights were smooth with short layovers.  Only thing is it just takes too damn long to get there when you haven’t been able to see each other in nearly eight months!! I was really happy when my plane took off from Frankfurt as I knew I would see my bride in about three hours!!!

The plane lands and as we get on the bus to go to the terminal I notice a guy wearing a baseball cap with Canadian flags on it.  So I strike up a conversation.  Come to find out he is a Ukrainian guy who has been in Canada as a truck driver for the past fifteen years! He was on his way home to visit his family who he hadn’t seen since he left.  Thing is his accent was more Canadian than Russian.

I was the usual hurry up and wait through passport control no big deal.  Pick up my bags follow the green line and I’m through the big double doors!  Now I’m looking the place is jammed with people waiting for who ever with names on placards you would think that some celebrity was arriving.  Busiest I had ever seen it.  But I’m looking and looking for the beautiful blonde hair nothing…Then I hear my name I turn and look and there’s Olya, Lenas good friend from Kiev.  We keep an eye on each other as we both negotiate the crowd I finally make it to the end of the gauntlet and Olya leads me to the right and makes a motion with her hands like “presenting”. And there she is Wow!!!  Best thing I have seen in eight months.  Now something I should explain as some of you know RW/UW really only like to be seen at their best so Lena had stubbornly refused to send me any picture of her since the first part of July.  So I had missed out on some the visual progress along the way.  So here is my usually slim and trim girl with baby out to here!! WOW!! And still looking great!!!!  We have a huge hug and head off to find a taxi to take us to the apartment Lena had rented. As I turn to follow Ola I get this sharp sensation on my popochka as Lena makes sure I know what she been thinking)))) As we both follow Ola out of the airport with huge smiles on our faces.

The apartment is nice up on the hill about two blocks off  Kreshatik. We dump off my stuff and head out for a walk it feels great to stretch my legs after all that time cramped in a plane.  Lena has been telling me for months about how she had been craving ice cream from this little stand on kresahtik right near where the subway exit is.  They have three flavors, Lemon, Vanilla and Chocolate. Lena says it’s the best but to me it tastes pretty much like regular soft serve, but I’m no ice cream connoisseur.  Most of the rest of the afternoon we just spent walking around with Ola and catching up on all manner of things. It was getting late in the afternoon and Ola had a dance class to go to she is learning different latin dances.  By the way she is a cute brunette who is available.

That night we went to a nice typical Ukrainian buffet type restaurant for dinner.  I had told Lena that I had wanted to take her out to her favorite restaurant in Kiev which is Dejavu.  But she told me that she didn’t have the right clothes to go there and anyway it was expensive.  I told you RW/UW only like to been seen when they look their best. )))

[bgreed]

Day two, well actually first full day.  I had not done some of my homework before leaving on this trip so my coming in the middle of the week was so that we would have a couple of days to process any paperwork.  Well I should have checked the website of the US Consulate as they only process letters of no impediment on Friday mornings from 9am till noon. (tough work schedule huh?)  So we have all day Thursday to spend together which was really nice as most times I am landing in Kieve and we have one evening and then catching a train or Mashrutka bus for Sumy the next day.  This is actually my first time to really see a bit of Kiev and even then there is much more to see.

So we walk down Kreshatyk to the city center where I actually get some time to take photos of course it was necessary to stop at the ice cream shop again just to make sure that Lenas craving was met )).  Walked up the hill and I do mean UP the hill to the plaza like area where St Sophias is and a number of other churches.  It is a really beautiful place just so nice with people walking about some are tourists and others are people just following their daily routine. We spend some time at one of the local streetside cafes just talking and having a good time.  Then circle around and I’m not sure here of the compass direction, but going away from St. Sophias and circling around near the sports complex ending up at the underground mall.  Since we had time to kill it was a no hurry fun kind of day.  That morning Lena told me that we had been invited to dinner at a friend of hers her in Kiev so it was necessary to stop by a small grocery and buy some things to take one of which included a .75litre of Vodka.  But more on that later.

Lena like to make sure that I am well fed and doesn’t understand why I don’t eat bigger portions.  I try to explain to her that to me Ukrainian food is very filling and seems to last all day.  Which for me is true.  Well nothing doing it’s back to the buffet for a late afternoon meal and dinner is at seven!! Now I will have to say that my only complaint about this place is that I like things that are supposed to be served hot to be hot not lukewarm well this place obviously doesn’t have their steam tables turned up high enough as the hot food is only lukewarm at best though the flavor is very good.

We head back to the apartment to get freshened up before heading over to Lenas friend.  Whose apartment is kind of a different situation.  Since Lenas father and husband cannot earn good enough money in Sumy  where they live they rent an apartment in Kiev during the week and work there and then go home on the weekends.  So this time Lenas friend and her husband and their three year old daughter will be staying in Kiev for the weekend while her father, sister in-law to be and his friend head back to Sumy for the weekend.  Lena and I will be catching a ride with them Saturday night back to Sumy.  More on that later as well.  Lots have folks have talked about Russian/ Ukrainian communal living arrangements and how generations of families live together.  On this trip I had my own first hand experience with this. Nickolai and his wife have an apartment in Sumy with two bedrooms, Lenas friend and her husband and little girl also live in this same apartment along with her younger brother.  So count’em that’s six so far.  Now this younger brother wants to get married in November to his girl.  Together they don’t make enough to rent their own place so the new couple will be living here.  Now we’re up to seven. Pasha and his new wife to be would like to have children as soon as possible now we’re at a possible eight and to top it all off Lenas friend thinks that she might be pregnant again.  Now a possible nine!!  This number of people in such a small space even amazes Lena.  But to them it is just a matter of adapting and so far everyone seems to be happy with it.

OK now we’re back to the vodka part.  Every good story from Russia /Ukraine should have a vodka story.  We arrive at Lenas friends at the proper time bearing our gifts for dinner.  Now I have been told a lot about this friend and seen pictures of them and their daughter.  They have an almost family like bond in their relationship really super people. So we sit and chat before dinner . Well I mainly sit and listen an try to recognize about every fifteenth word or so.  We give little Marina the toys that we had bought earlier in the day.  Four tubs of Play-Doh  you remember that funny rubbery clay kind of stuff in  primary colors that got as hard as a rock if you left the top off.  Of course with a three year old it was a big hit.  Time to move to the kitchen for dinner around the typically small table.  No sooner had we sat down than Nickolai popped the top of that bottle of vodka.  Now I’m not opposed to having a drink or two with dinner even if they are shots with an apple juice chaser.  Now at this time Dima had not come home from work yet and since the women were no participating it was just Nickolai, me and that bottle of vodka over dinner.  First one toast then a second, quick get some food in you before he can make a third my common sense yells.  Now comes the third toast and I can already feel the vodka start to kick in.  Fourth toast, fifth holy crap am I gonna be able to hold it together and is this guy every gonna stop filling my glass??  Hah no way.  So I’m eating everything I can get my hands on to sop up the alcohol.  After toast six or was it seven?  Dima arrives home from work hurrah!!  My rescue or so I thought.  Dima sits down and it’s another round.  Now by this time the bottle is more than half empty and I know that I have consumed  I believe more than my fair share.  However this does not stop the toasts and the only saving grace is that the rest of the bottle is now split three ways rather than just two.  Finally I see the last drizzle in the bottle go into Nikolais glass, Whew!!  I made through without passing out or something much worse and even more embarrassing.  Well that sign of relief ended when Nickolai reached back opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a small water bottle that is about one quarter full.  Now the spidey senses that are still able to tingle, and I mean just barely tingle as everything is pretty numb right now.  Then Nickolai says “Drink spirituous?”  I look at Lena with that  “what the hell is this” look combined with a “please help me”  Well I got to find out just what spirituous was first hand.  It is 100% pure grain alcohol !!!! Yep you read it right, not 100 proof but 100% that means 200 proof clear as water and could be used to launch the next Soyuz.  Geez, think I’m getting drunk again just writing about this stuff!!  And since this was not in a labeled bottle I can only assume that this is the product of some ones home distillery.  How about that all the way to Ukraine to get a taste of moonshine ))))  Well here we go a little in every ones glass and bottoms up.  Holy crap !!! even after all that vodka this stuff is hot!! Burns all the way down!!  Now that’s smmoooth.  A few trips around and thank God the bottle is empty.  I have drank more alcohol in the last three hours than I probably drink in a year and I am feeling no pain.  Though surprisingly I still feel like I have a little control left and can actually walk and tie my shoes.   After dinner we take some photos.  Unfortunately Lena has made it quite clear that I am not to post any photos without her approval so you all will just have to wait approval too.  We catch a cab back to the apartment. I make my way up the stairs and into bed though I didn’t lay down for about an hour as I was sure that if I did that the deadly bed spins would start and then …Yuck !!!  But it was not to be and I had a great nights sleep which was a good thing since we had to up early tomorrow and off the to US Consulate.

[bgreed]

Friday day three dawned bright with just a nice crispness in the air and me with no hangover.  Still a little drunk maybe but definitely no hangover ))  Must be the reason Russians don’t drink mixed drinks but just take the main event straight with a fruit juice chaser.

Well Lena was up before me and has the usual Ukrainian breakfast ready (whatever was leftover from the previous meal)  So I suck down some food and a Coke (Lena just loves the fact that I drink Coke in the morning, Yeah right!! Can’t tell you how many times I have heard “Not good for health!”)  head for the shower and in a few minutes we’re of to the consulate.  Now for those that might be confused the embassy and the consulate are two completely different places.  Not far from each other but perform to different functions.  Our taxi pulls up and we get out and head for the entrance door.  Well because Lena has a bag she is not allowed in and I go on alone while she waits outside.  Typical security empty all your pockets walk through the metal detector and be wanded (is that a word?) by the security guy cross the court yard through the door up the steps through another heavy glass security door take a right then a left then the first left. Go up to the glass and ask the nice lady for the form for non-impediment for marriage.  She hands you a copy to fill out with no mistakes.  This is where I meet Duane he’s a painter from Jacksonville who is here to get married to his girl from Kharkov and of course they need the same forms as Lena and I to get married.  Now when you meet a fellow American in a foreign country who is there for the same purpose naturally your pretty much going to start up a conversation.  I find out that his finace is waiting outside also.  So we grab our paperwork and head back outside to fill out the paperwork with our ladies.  Now as usual government paperwork is about as clear as mud.  The man is supposed to fill out the English part of the form and then his fiancée is supposed to fill out the Russian part of the form which asks the same questions.  Really easy to misinterpret that they are asking about different people when all they really want to know about is the American.  Well the first form didn’t go so great for either of us so it was back through security to see the nice lady behind the glass.  This time she gave us both extra forms.  Guess she could tell that paperwork was not our strong point.  While Duane and I are inside of course the ladies are having a conversation all their own about things.  Lena discovered that before meeting Duane that Yana did not speak any English so she had been taking English lessons, but I don’t recall ever hearing her say more than about two words though she seems like a really nice lady.

Finally we have our forms filled out correctly and go back in through security to take our completed forms to the paymaster, pay our $30 take the receipt back to the lady behind the glass where it will be notarized.  Well I had not taken the opportunity to exchange more money the afternoon before and it wouldn’t have done me any good anyway as this had to be paid in US dollars.  So all I had on me was the usual crispy $100 bills that I take to Ukraine. The paymaster comes to the window to collect and I show her the hundred “I don’t have enough change for a hundred dollar bill”  “What?” I say  “This is the US consulate right?” “And you don’t have enough money to break a $100 in the till?”  Here is where Duane comes to my rescue as he had an assortment of bills and was able to break the hundred so that the paymaster would accept it.  So we both paid our fees and got our papers notarized.  Now it is off to the Ministry of  Foreign Affairs where we need to get this paper stamped so that ZAGS will accept it.  We all pile into a taxi and head for the ministry it is now about 10:30am so we figure we will have plenty of time to get things done.  In the short ride to the Ministry Duane tells me that he is planning on filing a DCF after they get married.  I kind of look at him and tell him “You know they discontinued DCF last spring.”  This was the most recent information that I had at the time.  Since returning I have found that the DCF was reinstated but that you have to have been a resident in country for at least six months.  I told him my understanding on the matter and wished him luck as this is the way I had originally planned on going with Lena and me.  We get to the Ministry and pile out of the taxi and head inside.  There is the typical line waiting for service.  For those of you that have not yet traveled to an FSU country lines and waiting are just a fact of life.  Finally it is Lenas turn (I have found that in such cases things go more quickly since she speaks the language.)  Well the geeky looking beareaucrat behind the glass shakes his head and tells her that this is the wrong ministry and that we need to go to the Ministry of Trade across the plaza.  So off we go the four of us (well actually five) cross the street up the steps of the building through the doors and ask the guy at the entrance if this is the right place.  Nyet!  He points back across the street to where we had just come from.  Now I can see in Lenas eyes and attitude that she is not a happy camper.  It is now a little after eleven and they only accept this paperwork until noon.  Back across the street we go, once inside the building she marches right up to the front of the line and confronts the clerk.  I can tell that shes giving him a small piece of her mind.  As she’s doing this Duane comments to me “She’s a real go getter isn’t she?”  I told him that she’s easy to get a long with just don’t make her angry.  And this guy had just pushed the pet peeve button not knowing his job.  After she gets done all she gets from him is an “I’m sorry I made a mistake”  Just a note here do not mess with an eight months pregnant Russian woman who is on a mission.  It’s not good for health )))) 

So we get the forms we need to fill out again taking a couple tries to get it perfect (they accept no mistakes) then go stand in line at the paymaster pay the whopping total of eight Grivvnas receive your receipt and take the whole thing back to the first window where they tell you to come back after four to pick up your paperwork.  Now understand that all they have to do is to stamp the back of this piece of paper but you will have to wait.  I always wonder with as much as these folks like to stamp everything do you think they could provide more than one ink pad per building so that things could be done a little more efficiently?  Finally our paperwork is in and on time so we have the afternoon to kill until 4o’clock.  We separate ways with Duane and Yana knowing we will be seeing eachother back here in a few hours.

Lenas and I walk by St Sophias (the old girls is starting to become a very familiar site) and down some steep almost steps that go down into the park below.  Well the path leads away from where Lenas wants to go so she hops the rail and starts to make her way down the steep embankment to another path.  Now if it was any other time I probably wouldn’t have worried too much because Lena is pretty well able to take care of doing physical things, however in this case here is my wife to be eight months pregnant making her way down a long steep embankment and not waiting for any help!!  Well we make it to the bottom without incident and start walking down this paved path under the trees.  A really pleasant walk.  I notice what look to be merchant stalls along the way then she tells me that on weekends the length of this path (about a half mile) is lined with artists selling their paintings., but today it looked like everyone stayed home.  We passed an opening in the trees which afforded a nice view of the Dneper river as it flowed through Kiev.  As we got nearer the end of this walk there started to be some of the artists selling their wares and as we progressed we  probably passed easily forty.  Some were good and lots of mediocre then there were a few that had outstanding work. Modern, still life, landscapes, portraits anything that you might like.  This is a place that I am sure will  visit again especially when it comes time to decorating our home.

Continuing down the hill past all kinds of little trinket booths some with things that were interesting and others with usual tourist junk.  We come to a small park with a statute of one of the gate keepers of Kiev on a horse.  As you walk through Kiev you will see a number of these all holding a mace in their right hand known as a “symbol of power” We wander past small high end shops and street cafes just kind of poking along and enjoying our time together.  It had been a long time since the last time we were together so we were just savoring every minute.

We decide to take the metro back to the apartment and have a little rest.  In days before pregnancy Lenas would walk my Azz off and never even be winded so this time I’m the one letting her take a break. ))) We get back to the apartment and grab a short nap and a small snack.  When 3:30 rolls around we’re headed back to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to  stand in line again and wait and wait and wait.  We see that Duane and Yana have arrived just before us.  Duane is a little irritated with the constant waiting for everything so this time he’s the one who is a little fired up. ))  As we’re waiting in line a Ukrainian guy comes up to me to ask me something about the line.  Apparently I’m starting to blend in a little as he started right out in Russian just like talking to a native to which my reply was “Ya negaverit porussiki” (please excuse my transliteration) he looked at me totally surprised so I just kind of chuckled to myself.  Lena saw the whole thing and I could see her smiling like a chessire cat across the room.  Finally the inner doors open and the line begins to move.  Well all file in and collect our documents after all the run around it’s almost like winning the lotto.  We say good-bye to Duane and Yana as they have a 5:00 train to catch back to Kharkov. we exchange phone numbers, wish each other the best of luck and promise to stay in touch as Jacksonville is not so far from Mandeville.

Two tired but happy people wander their way back down to Kreshatyk and have a celebratory ice cream cone.  Then we wander over to the arch that is opposite St Mikial Lena tells me that here you make a wish and throw down a coin to make it come true.  So we each take a coin and make our wish and throw down our coins.  I can tell just from the look in her eyes that we have both made a very similar wish ))))

[BillyB]

Now something some of you know but for those who don’t Lena and I are expecting, SOON! 

Congrats to you and Lena. I'm surprised the DCF has been reinstated. It's supposed to be much faster than the k-1 but unfortunately you must live in Ukraine for 6 months prior. A few days in Ukraine and little bribe could take care of that issue for a desperate soul.

[DKMM]

Good TR so far, big congrats on the bun in the oven!  Aren't you the one that made the comment about Ukrainian birth control pills?  hehe.

I highly doubt you will get the all clear to post photos of her pregnant.   

[bgreed]

Billy B,Unfortunately its not Ukraine officals your dealing with when it comes to the DCF it's the US Consulate.  Otherwise believe your idea would have already been tried. By the way how are thing going for you and your fiance?

DKMM, Yeah that was me how do you think we found out.

[BillyB]

Billy B,Unfortunately its not Ukraine officals your dealing with when it comes to the DCF it's the US Consulate.  Otherwise believe your idea would have already been tried. By the way how are thing going for you and your fiance?

The consulate only wants to see your legal marriage certificate to approve you for DCF. I can't speak what the laws are in Ukraine but in Uzbekistan, one has to live there for 30 days to get married legally there. Only then can one do a DCF, if they still allow, at the consulate. The problem is a tourist visa last 30 days and the wedding and DCF filing would be performed during an illegal stay there. Stupid laws make things impossible but I know a guy who spent two weeks there and he bribed an Uzbek marriage official to document he lived there for over 30 days and was legally able to marry his wife in Tashkent and thus he was able to do a DCF if he wanted to. I believe he did the k-3 instead.

My fiancee and I are doing great but it's going real slow on the government's end. Everybody's wait has increased big time based on visajourney and my paperwork went from Nebraska to California since their closing business on k-1's in Nebraska.

[WmGO]

A good friend of mine (a former Red Army Colonel) who taught
me the Cyrillic alphabet and basic Russian long ago taught me a
trick if ever confronted with the "vodka situation", as he knew I am
a very light and only occasional drinker: the "butter trick".

He advised that if confronted with the vodka situation to eat a good sized
pat of butter from the dinner table before the drinking started. He advised
that it would coat the stomach and impede absorption of alchohol. If the toasting
continued just grab another pat, and if anyone looked odd about it just say "yum,
I like butter...." 

[bgreed]

Hey  Billy,

It's the same in Ukraine that your supposed to wait 30 days from the time you apply till the time you marry, but have a good connection and a little cash took care of that problem.

Actually the consulate wants to see all the same paperwork that you would be filing with the USCIS and then they are allowed to make the decision.  However if you've not been in country on a resident visa they won't even talk to you about it.  Duane the gi\uy I mentioned in my TR tried and they wouldn't even talk to him about it and he had all the paperwork in hand.

Well glad to hear that you at least have the paperwork filed to get the ball rolling.  Yeah USCIS mor than doubles the fees and the wait time becomes longer.  Typical government operation "give us the money so we can be more inefficent."  I still say they should privatize the whole thing be wait times would drop to about 90 days.

[BillyB]

bgreed,

It must be tough that you won't be able to spend everyday with Lena and your baby until they arrive in the US. Have you sent any paperwork to USCIS or do you plan on waiting after the baby is born? Does the new baby complicate things for you when it comes to doing the paperwork?

[bgreed]

Billy, To be totally blunt and truthful the time apart SUX big time!!!!  We thought we had all the paperwork ready but some not so helpful money making folks in Sumy convinced Lena that all the paperwork I need from her not only had to be translated but i had to be notarized and apostilled too.  To the tune of $200 USD.  Sometimes you just can't convience these gals that you might know something about this process.  When I emailed her a copy of the USCIS requirement for the documents she was hot, hot, hot.  And I can tell you there is nothing like the temper of an eight months pregnant Russian woman.  Once the documents come back and she goes to pick them up I fully expect to see a mushroom cloud over Sumy.  So because of this we haven't filed yet.

However because of the extended time lines we have decided to file a CR-1 since they are being processed at about the same rate as a K-3 and when she gets here she will have her and her sons green card and not have to adjust status.  So that saves about $2k in fees.

The baby is no problem as all I have to do is register the foreign birth of a US national with the Kiev Consulate.  Because I am a US citizen he will also be a US citizen by birth.  Only thing is because he won't be born in the US he can't run for President.  The US consulate will issue him a passport so it doesn't add any paperwork to the visa process.

And the biggest drag of all is I won't be able to hold my son until he is nearly three months old.  With my two older kids I cut the cord and the whole shebang.  And if you've seen the inside of an FSU hospital well they're little short of down right scary.

[bgreed]

It’s Saturday morning which dawns bright and cool perfect weather really.  We have to be out of the apartment by noon so it is a quick breakfast and showers to have everything ready to go by Noon.

Our land lady arrives on the dot and as I shuffle our suitcases down the stairs to the waiting taxi Lena pays for our last night.  Since there is no other place to take our stuff and Lenas looking for a way to save me money. (I tell you these girls will look out for the best ways to save spending unnecessarily.) we head back to her friends flat where we will store our suitcases until it is time to make the trip to Sumy with Nickolai.  Most of that afternoon we just spend wandering around enjoying the weather, talking and of course enjoying just being able to be together.  It’s pretty amazing how fast time can go by even when you’re just doing nothing in particular.  As the afternoon wanes it is time to head back to meet Nickolai for our trip to Sumy.

As we enter the apartment Nickolai is still catching a much needed cat nap before we depart.  So Lena and I along with Yula and Marina sit in the kitchen and have tea.  They talk about what ever they are talking about and every now and again Lena translates a question aimed at me.  Most of which are the “Is it true in America?” type of question.  Soon Nickolai awakes and heads down to start loading the car.  Now as cars go this one is no large by any means and might have trouble making it to mid size by European standards.  I never did figure out the make but to me it looked about like a1970’s Toyota Corrolla wagon complete with a luggage rack on top.  Now remember there are six of us that will be riding n this car plus luggage.  Of course I have the most since not only did I bring a suitcase and my carryon but also a full size suitcase full of baby stuff so it really looks like I over packed.  Nickolai first filled up the space behind the back seat then on top went my two suitcases and Lenas suitcase along with Nickolais friends suitcase all covered with a tarp and securely strapped down.  Now Nickolai is an engineer so I have full belief in his ability to make sure that everything will stay in place.

  While he is packing Lena and I go down to the local grocery to buy some snacks for the trip and by the we get back Nickolai is ready to go so we say our good-byes and all climb in the car Nickolai and his friend in the front Marina, Lena and I in the back and we’re off !!  Now something I didn’t mention is that Nickolais car is far from new and every bump we went over I could hear a noise just in back of my seat that sounded suspiciously like a broken shock. Also there was so much cold air coming in around the door because of lack of a door seal that I was forced to take my extra sweat shirt and stuff it in the hole to keep from freezing!  And so we drive on at the usual Ukrainian break neck pace with little disregard for most basic traffic signals.

For those that have been there you know that the highway going out of Kiev toward Kharkov is pretty smooth and very similar to an American four lane express way except for the fact that it’s not limited access.  Halfway between Kiev and Sumy is a rest stop where if you’re riding a mashrutka well it’s the only scheduled stop between there and Sumy.  Well none of needed to stop so we take the  turn off toward Sumy and this where the real fun begins.  As I’ve told some of you Sumy is not on the way to anywhere it is definitely the end of the road kind of place being that it is only about 75km from the Russian border.  So everything of importance town wise is South and East.  And the main road to Sumy reflects this as there are more built up patches, dips and just plain rough road than you can imagine. Well these road conditions don’t change Nickolais driving pace by one kmphr in fact I think he was actually going faster!!! So we flew along dodging around slow moving trucks, using the whole road to take curves rather than remaining in our lane. And I know there were times that we were airborne if just for a second.  The car rocked and I could hear that shock behind me or what was left of it scream in protest.  Finally it was time to stop and get some Benzene (what Ukrainians call gasoline) As Nickolai tanked up I went looking for a place to relieve myself all this bouncing was killing my kidneys.  Lena pointed to two small buildings near the back of the property and from their general architecture I understood that these were the bathrooms.  As I made my was closer to these non descript little buildings my nose confirmed exactly what they were used for.  As I entered the totally pitch black little room I realized that there was no light. Second thing I realized is that these were definitely a no frills outhouse as there was only a hole in the floor!  This my friend is exactly one of the reasons why you carry a small flashlight in this part of the world.   Not for finding the keyhole in your apartment door or making it up some darkened stairs, that is mundane stuff compared to making the mistake of a misstep in this case.  So out comes my trust surefire 6P (hey when it comes to flashlights I don’t fool around)  I press the button on the back of the flashlight and yep just as I suspected there was a whole in the floor definitely big enough to be a very bad thing.  Of course after turning the light on I almost wished I hadn’t because I was surely betting that something really big and nasty could come crawling up out of that hole at any minute!!  So needless to say this gave me great impetuous to quickly finish any business I had there.  As I walked back to the car I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder to see if anything was following me.  Guess just to many horror flicks as a kid.

Back in the car with a full tank of gas, and we’re off!! Bouncing and swaying at top speed and passing everything insight.  Now I’m sure that by Ukraine standards Nickolai is considered a pretty good driver.  By American standards, well lets say he could probably give the NASCAR guys some real trouble and if a cop tried to chase him down well I just don’t think the cop would be able to keep up.  On we drive blowing through small villages with maybe a cursory slowing down.  I’ve been this way a couple of times by mashrutka so I’m trying to read the signs as they flash past to get some kind of idea of just how much longer this ride might last, that is IF we make to our destination in one piece!  Finally I make out a sign ah only another 20km to Sumy and we have to drop of Nickolais friend in a village first before we get there.  The rest of the trip was uneventful just my kidneys wanting to get to Lenas so they could take a break from being pounded if just for a little while.  About 01230 we pull up in front of Lenas apartment I have never been so happy to be someplace.  I help Nickolai un load our stuff and give him a big Spasiba bolshoi for the ride and secretly for not getting us all killed.  Lesha, Lenas brother has met us and helps us take our things up stairs.  It’s a quick bite to eat and fall asleep in one of the few places I feel at home with Lena in my arms.

[bgreed]

Off to grandmas house and other assorted places:

Sunday morning comes along and I realize that we did survive Nickolais wild ride.  Again the weather was perfect bright and sunny yet the air not too warm.  Breakfast is the usual Ukraianian affair ( whatever happens to be available) and Lena asks me if I want to go visit her grandmother house in the village of Lebedin which is about 45km outside Sumy. I had heard so much about her grandmother and the good times that Lena had at her house when she was young that my immediate response was “sure!” I knew that later that day we were supposed to be at her fathers (whose name is also Nickolai) for dinner.

So after breakfast we all get in the car (Lenas father and brother own a car together) and we’re off to grandmas house.  For me this was a real treat as it seems that most of the time I am traveling at night so it’s been pretty rare that I have been able to really see what the countryside looks like.  Well the area around Sumy is farmland for the most part with rolling hills and few trees and actually the road to her grandmothers village was in pretty good repair.  We sped along passing the occasional stand alone farm house and a couple of smaller villages.  Here farmers still use horses to pull wagons so it was interesting to see the harness setup which is so different that what you might see in Amish country here in the states.

After a very pleasant ride Lenas brother Lesha is a much better driver than most I have ridden with in Ukraine.  Lebedin is actually a pretty good sized village about 22k of course we would think of this as a nice sized small town.  Things are pretty quiet downtown consists of about six stores one of these being of course a hardware lumberyard combo, a fabric store, a dime type store and of course two bars.  I mean what’s a small town without the local bar?  I had been taking some short videos with my digital camera and what I though were fresh batteries were all of a sudden exhausted so our first stop was in the dime store to get some fresh batteries for my camera.  Then on to Grandmas.  We turned off the main road on to all I can describe it as is a laneway that is dirt two track with grass growing up in the middle.  This is the road to a number of houses on the edge of town. A short drive down this road and we pull up in front of a blue and whit house with a green fence “Grandmas!” Now something I should explain is that Grandma died this spring at the ripe old age of 92 after raising eight kids in this house and making it through most of WWII alone while her husband was in the army, (He was part of the army that took Berlin) This is a person that Lena has always spoke so highly of that I really regret that I never got to meet her.

The main point of this visit though is just to show me around and to see a little family history.  The house is pretty typical of village houses the only difference is that over the past year or so Lenas uncle has been having the house modernized and had a small addition put on.  So now the house has four rooms, central heat and running water.  Where as most houses have electricity but heat is still coal or wood and there is a privy out back.  Water in most cases still come from open dug wells so you can definitely take a trip back in time.  The yard was small and you could tell that it had always beena garden of one type or another and Lenas uncle has replanted some of it to flowers and the like. Lenas grandmother had a small dog and a cat who still live a the house and are fed by the neighbors.  It took a little while for Tonka to warm up to me.  She takes her job as house guardian very seriously but with a little time she finally capitulated and rolled over so I could rub her belly.  Even the cat showed up to see who was visiting though she soon became bored with us and went on her way.

Lena took me on a tour of the house and yard and told me about when her grandmother used to keep goats and how they would put grass that they had cut into the attic area of the house to feed the goats in winter and how she loved to sleep in this grass because she loved the smell.  She told me about how she would take the goats out to let them graze and about dressing them up as they were her only playmates here.  She found some of the family pictures and we sat and looked through them and she pointed out different people and told me who they were of her aunts and uncles or cousins and what they did or if they were still alive.  Pictures of her grandmother and grandfather.  A few color pictures of her grandmother from a few years ago looking exactly like every picture you have ever seen of a Russian village babushka, but even in the pictures you can see two things in her eyes a no nonsense strength and a deep kindness same thing when I look in my Lenas eyes.

After finishing looking at the photos Lena, Artem and I walk further down the road toward a small wood lot.  Artem has his soccer ball in tow as this is his way of giving a hint that he would like to kick the ball with me.  As we walk along and talk about different things like how good the pine trees smell or some other memory that comes to her mind as we walk hand in hand or arms wrapped around each other. Here I’m going to confess something, while we were walking together I have never felt so happy and so content in all my life, it was a time that I could have just go on forever pretty strange to have such a feeling in a place you’ve never been before.  Another thing is that people would greet us with a smile not the usual eyes averted no smiling that you usually see.  We walked around towards the few apartments that are in the village in which was a small food store we stopped in and picked up a couple of snacks.  Now a funny thing about women when they are pregnant before they are pregnant there are foods they won’t touch “not good for health” or they just don’t eat much as far as sweets go.  This last part was definitely Lena hardly ever would a sweet pass her lips and she hated coconut.  Well since she has been pregnant she has developed a taste for Bounty candy bars which is the equivalent of an Almond Joy here in the states you know coconut with almonds and dark chocolate.  So as we exit the store Artem is carrying his soccer ball and I know it is time to strike!  I knock the ball out from under his arm and it’s an immediate game of keep away soccer style!  We run and dodge and kick the ball most of the time I just plant my size 10 ½ on top and let Artem kick it try to dislodge it while I catch a breath.  After a short flurry I let him win and head back to Lena.  Apparently a local babushka had passed while we were playing and commented to her on how well this father and son ran together.  I’ll take that as a definite compliment and a positive to how well our little family will get along.

We continue walking along in no hurry just enjoying the beautiful weather and the time together.  As we near another set of apartments Lena points and says “look a funeral” I look and see people lined up on both sides of the door and ask her if she’s sue she says yes because she can tell by the way the people are lined up.  We continue walking heading back toward grandmas house and I’m thinking in the back of my mind just how short life can be and that I wanted to spend more time treasuring every minute.

As we get back to Grandmas Lenas phone rings it is her step mom and we are expected at her house for soup before going to her fathers well one doesn’t want to turn down the opportunity to meet further relatives besides homemade borscht is very good.

We get in the car after saying good bye to Tonka and are off to Allas house which is in the same village just across town.  Her house is very similar to those around it, a bit larger with a large living room, indoor plumbing central heat and even a Television that gets three channels!  Pretty good living in a village.  While at Allas I also get to meet Masha.  Masha is Lenas stepsister and a precocious nine year old who adores her older sister also at the house is Liza, Allas niece she is attending Sumy University and comes to her aunts on the weekends.  Alla bustles around and the good china and glasses come out then Alla disappears to get dressed and to put on make up after all it’s not everyday that you have a foreigner come to visit along with it being one that is going to marry your step daughter.  Alla serves the borscht (which is excellent by the way) along with fresh vegetables from her garden, a salad and homemade vodka. (which was also pretty good)  as a matter of fact there is a special name given to homemade vodka that translates into “I made it myself”  We also had a fruit compote to drink which was a first for me.  They make it using Cherries and different local berries that Lena couldn’t give me a translated name for add water and sugar boil it and store it in large glass jars.  It is really very good though not made with as much sugar as most of us in the west would be used to.

Conversation around the table was a little limited as Lena had to serve as translator and Allas complete English vocabulary consisted of about seven fruits.  Most of the questions as always were of the “Is it true in America?” variety and you get to see just how much our pop culture has contaminated the rest of the worlds perception of  the US.  Now Liza had a more important question as she asked which state I lived in.  When I told her I lived in Louisiana her immediate response was “Oh Brittany Spears is from Louisiana”  made me just want to hang my head in shame.  The rest of the time went great with fresh watermelon from the garden for desert.  It was getting late and time for us to head for Lenas fathers for the main course.  We said our goodbyes and took a few photos, but Alla wouldn’t let us leave before giving us two huge jars of her compote to take with us.  I thanked her and again we said our good-byes and Alla, Masha and Liza stood outside the gate and watched waving as we drove off.  As we drove a little ways I commented to Lena about all the trouble that All went to just for us.  This is when she told me how big a deal it was to have a foreigner even come to the village let alone one who was going to become family.  So my guess is that my visit would be fodder for conversation for a while.  Also kind of makes you a little humble when you think about it.

On to father house.  I think somewhere else that I have mentioned that Lenas father is a philosophy professor at Sumy Agricultural University and any of you that are familiar with Ukraine pay scale know that teachers are near the bottom.  So we pull up in front of the building that is the housing provided for instructors by the university.  This is a two room flat. Bedroom/living room combo and a kitchen/dining/ whatever else room  Think efficiency apartment on the small side.  We go up stairs and Nickolai has been waiting for us and has dinner nearly ready.  We sit and talk a bit and Nickolai gets out his world atlas and asks Lena to ask me to show him where I live and where I lived in Michigan so I make a dot on the US map in both places and believe it or not no comments about Brittany Spears!  We sit down to a dinner of fish and potatoes long with a bottle of sweet Russian wine.  For those of you that have never had this sweet wine it is probably more like what we would call a sherry as it is very sweet and to my palate kind of resembles cough syrup.  But when in Rome,  so I just toughed it out through the toasts and made a note to myself not to buy any.  As Lena and Lesha don’t really get along with their father that well dinner was pretty short and we were saying our goodbyes Lena making sure that I didn’t shake her fathers hand over the threshold.  Her father accompanied us down the stairs and watched as we drove off.  I couldn’t help but feel that here is a guy that leads a pretty lonely life.  I really wish I could read and write Russian if nothing else than to befriend this man who is my wifes father.

[bgreed]

Home improvement in the FSU
It’s Monday morning Artem is in school and I have promised Lena that we will go looking for things to improve the bedroom where she and our son will be sleeping.  Artem will get to share the living room rollout sofa with his uncle Lesha.

Now I thought for sure that we would most likely be going to the main market in the city center to look for the things we would need.  But no the HomeDepot/Lowes idea has found its way to the FSU and Sumy is no exception.  Now I can’t remember the name of the place but it is laid out pretty much like your local big box store only about one quarter of the size. Our mission, new wallpaper for the bedroom, something bright but not too bright so the baby will have pleasant surroundings (those of you married guys know the drill) So we enter the place it is clean and well organized male employees wear a royal blue jumpsuit the women wear a sort of jacket. No worn out sagging bagging dirty orange aprons here. (you know who you are).  We are met by a very polite young guy who asks if he can help us.  Now understand I have been trying for two years to learn Russian and still my vocabulary is limited so I am giving you this from what Lena told me and my own interpretation of events.  First thing is sandpaper, oh I forgot to mention that we are going to refinish the crib that both Lena and Lesha used as babies.  It is well worn and the best solution is to paint it so first it must be sanded.  The selection of sandpaper is small (one type flint) in five different grits.  Since the grit system is different in Ukraine I have to go by feel and pick out what feels to me like the 100 grit I’m looking for.  The guy writes us a little slip of paper to give the cashier and we head upstairs (Yeah this is two stories rather than spreading out all over.)  Upstairs is wallpaper and rugs and let me tell you they have LOTS of wall paper in all kinds of designs.  I had asked Lena earlier if it wouldn’t be easier and less expensive to patch and paint the walls (which I thought would be quicker)  she told me that paint is very expensive compared to wallpaper.  Maybe Sherwin-Williams need to open a plant in Ukraine.  So we start looking at wall paper the really interesting thing about wall paper in Ukraine is that it does not come in a repeating pattern that has to be matched at the seams like most of the residential wallpaper you see here in the states.  It is laid out with a not repeating pattern that doesn’t need to be matched like our commercial stuff, actually not a bad idea as there is less waste and it’s waaay easier to install.  The other thing is it comes in different widths,  some German made stuff is nearly a meter wide while others are approximately half a meter.  Again something different that US standards.  So we look and look and look. “What about this?” “No to bright” “And this?” “Too busy” OK I an see that we may have a small obstacle to overcome.  Lesha picks out one yellow background with blue squares and triangle on it.  Looks good to me!! We show it to Lena she is kind of hmmm not sure then she asks me what I think well both Lesha and I pipe up saying that yes we think this will be a very good color and just right in everyway.  Lena give us that Uh huh kind of look but then says “OK if you think so”  Now this is where I about fall over in a dead faint.  My ex would have fought me tooth and nail over such a decision.  I would have had to justify every aspect of my choice times three and she still wouldn’t have taken my suggestion.  So I am just standing there saying “are you sure?”  “You don’t want to look any further?”  and she replies “No, no. no it will be just perfect” I’m still speechless.

Next we go to the paint department which is back down stairs.  I’m looking for aerosol paint since I know I can get a better looking finish with this rather than trying to brush it on.  This comes from having been a cabinet maker for a number of years and having learned to apply high quality professional finishes.  We get the same young guy and ask him about this paint.  Well they don’t carry aerosol paint we will have to go to a different store across town for this.  So we thank him for his help and head for the checkout. The grand total 150hyg once again I’m floored by how inexpensive some things are in Ukraine.  I mean I’m used to seeing $30 a roll stuff in the US and we got six rolls and the sandpaper for $30USD!!

So it’s back in the car, (thank God Lenas father has a car it made everything we had to do sooo much easier and more efficient than if we had to do this all using mashrutka or taxis)  we make it across town to what looks much like a hardware that you would find here in the states in a small town.  In we got and find the tiny paint department in the back.  We ask about aerosol paint and the clerk takes us over to a glass case.  Now when’s the last time you saw spray paint in a glass case?  Think they’re afraid this stuff will grow legs?  I look in the case and everything has a white cap so no telling what the colors are except for a color chart propped against the wall on the end of the glass case.  Now I had already pretty well made up my mind that the best way to go on this was white and so when Lena asked me what color it should be that was my reply.  She pointed to a maroon looking color that she liked and I told her no that white was a better color.  Now she has this great little girl kind of thing she does when she wants something and it’s cute as heck and I’m sure has melted many a heart in it’s day but this time she found out that it wasn’t working on the old hard hearted American.  Then Lesha comes to my rescue and says that he thinks it should be white also.  So Lena reluctantly gives in with a pout that is just the best.  I ask the guy about primer but the only primer they have is brush on and I’m not that much into sanding to get a smooth finish so in this case we will just use extra coats to get good coverage.  I tell him four cans and he asks if I want to see if they work.  I’m kind of well umm ok yeah sure.  He has a piece of cardboard behind the counter and sprays a little out of each can to demonstrate that they were all good.  So we have all the necessities to make the room look good just one more stop and everything will be ready.

Window shopping,  now I had known from my first visit that the window in the bedroom was on it’s last legs, even with plastic over it the wind blew through it with out much resistance and Lena had told me that this summer they had opened the window because it was so hot but that now it wouldn’t close.  So when I arrived I checked it out a little more thoroughly and found that I was surprised the window was even still in place the wood of the frame was just barely hanging together. (happens when you put a wood frame window in a cement building for some reason moisture and wood just don’t get along.) The other thing that clued me that this window might be rotten is that Artem  shares this room with Lesha and has had terrible problems with upper respatory infections.  With the condition of the window I wondered if he might have allergies to molds (turns out he does and the window was black with it when they pulled it out to replace it.)  So off we go to the window shop.  Right now in Sumy and suspect in just about every town of any size window replacement is going on gang busters just about every apartment building you go by  you can see guys in at least a couple of apartment replacing windows and see where windows have already been replaced.  It is going so good that somebody has set up a plant in Sumy to assemble these vinyl window using parts from Austria and Germany so you can guess that these windows are pretty good quality and after looking at them I was convinced.  The window we decided to go with was by Rehau, now these are not the flimsy pieces of crap that you see at Home depot or Lowes .  The frame of the window is ridged and definitely heavy duty.  Now they are not any of the fancy mechanisms that you would find in the US no casements (crank out for those of you not in construction) or double hung or even awning type.  Strictly utilitarian lift on the lever and the window opens and swings into the room on a piano hinge mechanism. They come in double and triple thermal pane and there is about a half inch of air space between each piece of glass.  They way they install is unique also as they can’t use a nailing flange.  So there is a frame that goes into the rough opening and is fastened in place with anchors and sealed with caulk.  Then the window unit itself is set into this frame and locked in place and rubber seals are used to block any air intrusion.  Very well made and pretty slick installation.  Well I asked how much such a window cost  the salesman says 1250 hyg  I blink for a moment while my brain does the conversion $250 USD !  I kind of say huh? And then ask how much installation was. Oh that includes installation.  Ok so how much for the triple pane? Only $270 USD!!!  I am in shock!!  I don’t know if any of you have bought windows here in the US but a relatively small low quality vinyl window from your local big box can cost more. And this window is about 4’ high and 5’ wide!! My immediate response was give me the triple pane when can you deliver and install it?  Like I said it’s really amazing sometimes the price difference in things between here and there.  Of course this would be a fairly substantial investment for someone living in Ukraine but to me it was like wow what a great deal!!!  Unfortunately they couldn’t get the window installed before I had to leave, but it is in place as of yesterday and Lena is thrilled that this room is not like a mini wind tunnel anymore and that she and our baby will have a cozy place to sleep.

By the time we got home it was time to pick Artem up from school so we had Lesha drop us off near the school and we walked the few blocks to the school picked up Artem and his book bag ( I’ll tell you they make these kids study like crazy his homework load at night is more than some high schoolers here)  Now Artem just turned eight at the beginning of September and this kids book bag weighs a ton I was amazed when I picked it up I’m surprised the boy doesn’t have back trouble.  Since the weather was so pleasant we took our time and walked home.  There is one thing that has always amazed both Lena and  I since our first meeting and that is just how naturally everything works between us.  There is no shyness or embarrassment nor is there any tension.  Everything is always the best and this walk home is that too it is like we have always been a family and that this is our home.

[BillyB]

Home improvement in the FSU
It’s Monday morning Artem is in school and I have promised Lena that we will go looking for things to improve the bedroom where she and our son will be sleeping. 

I'm a handy man around the house too! Here's a secret for all who don't know. RW like men who are good with their hands.

[bgreed]

You can say that again Billy!!   At one time I sent Lena some photos of some of the fancier stuff I've built and she and her mom were just amazed.  And since i also dabble in blacksmithing sent some photos of some candle holders and the like, that got me big points too!!!

Lena can't wait until she gets here and we can do a project together.

[bgreed]

Noticed I hadn't posted any pics to go along with this story so here are some.

[ScottinCrimea]

Great trip report!  One of the best I have read.  Your detailed descriptions of things and feelings put me right there.  It definitely makes me homesick for Ukraine.  I've wanted to comment on just about everything and how I can relate to it, but better to leave it to you.

If you need any help or advice on doing the CR-1, let me know.

[bgreed]

Visit to ZAGS;
Now all of you that have been around know what Zags is and what their function is, but for you newer guys it probably sounds much like some papers you used to make cigarettes filled with…..well you get the idea.  What ZAGS is and I have no idea what the acronym stands for. Is the place in FSU countries where you get married and divorced.  However for our uses here we just want to focus on the marriage part.

You remember that piece of paper we had so much fun getting during our time in Kiev?  Well we needed that piece of paper to present to the ZAGS office so that we could apply to get married.  Now also understand that there is usually a standard wait of thirty days once you apply, however with the application of a nice gift (read bribe here) you can get the process speeded up to as quick as the next day.  So off we go to the ZAGS office when we arrive it is the usual long line of those waiting to be able to get the paperwork so that they can fill it out and then wait again to see the person who schedules these events.  Now you will notice as you are patiently standing there that the building is divided into two parts on one side are the people waiting and waiting and waiting for their application paperwork on the other side are those people waiting for their divorce paperwork. My brother in-law to be made an interesting observation that the line for divorces was twice as long as the line for marriages.

Since we need a hurry up date as my time in country is limited we have to see the director.  Now going into this I had been informed that of course there would be the need for a nice gift. We see the director go in and out of her office a couple of times and then we get our chance and step into her office and give her our papers and tell her our situation (well Lena tells her our situation) I can see from the look on the directors face that she is about to give the ol’ beaureaucratic stall.  Now something that I should mention here is that we found out that if the bride is pregnant that by law they are supposed to perform the ceremony next day.  But this lady seemed to think she could skirt this little technicality of law as she was trying to squeeze us (well in particularly the rich American for more cash) (hah fooled her!) I could see from the look in Lenas eyes that her blood pressure had gone up several points.  Lena had her mobile out in a flash and called a contact that she had become friends with named Ira.  She asked Ira about the next day clause and Ira told her that yes it was law but that it could be set aside by the director for various reasons.  Now Ira make her living as a problem solver and told Lena that she could solve the problem for 300 hry.  Lena looks at me I say Ok and Lesha is sent on a mission to pick up Ira and bring her to ZAGS.  The weather is nice and so we sit outside and watch the pigeons do their thing and laugh at cats ability to doze off just about anywhere.  A few minutes later Ira arrives a really sharp dressed good looking lady (as if that’s a new thing) we spend some time chit chatting about this and that as by this time the office is on break.  I learned that she is recently divorced (caught her husband cheating) Just for fun Lena asked me how old I thought Ira was by asking me how old I thought  her daughter was (again for you new guys you will find this question asked fairly often it is a test) Now Ira is a nice looking woman clever, smart, funny I knew she was probably in her early thirties so I guessed 13 she laughed and said thank you as her youngest daughter is thirteen and she has a twenty year old in university.  (By the way she’s 35 and looks way better than the photo I have of her) 
Break time is over so we head back in to see the director.  Ira tells us to wait in the hall and she knocks and enters the directors office with our paperwork.  A few minutes later she emerges with the now smiling wicked witch of the east and we are moved to the front of the line to have our paperwork finished and a date set for the wedding.  This next young lady is very polite and helpful and asks us if Thursday at 4:30 would be OK?  We both agree that this day will work just fine leaving me three full days in country.  We exit the building with a Fiancé who is smiling ear to ear as she chats in rapid fire Russian with Ira.  As Ira takes off in a taxi I ask “so what happened to make her change her mind?” Well apparently Ira know this director and this director apparently owes her some favors and …well you get the idea.  So Thursday is the big day.

Now it’s time to go shopping for the rings Lena didn’t want to buy them before we got our approval something about jinxing a good result. Now Lena had been looking at rings for awhile and she knows that I’m not made out of money yet she had found this ring that she adored and had told me all about it a couple of months before.  It was originally more than what I had wanted to spend on a ring (yes I’m a cheapskate) as originally we had talked just plain gold bands, but she had described this ring in such glowing terms and I could hear the excitement in her voice when she told me about it so I resolved that one way or the other she would have it but I didn’t want to make too easy for her so I gave her my my patented “we’ll see” answer.  I had originally planned to make a big fuss about the cost of the ring and to stand firm with a strong nyet! But to secretly have Lesha purchase the ring and to surprise her with it on our wedding day.  Well since my practical girl decided that it would be better to spend the money for the wedding to make sure that Seva would have a warm and pleasant place to live rather than to blow it on a big party I had to think fast and change my plan.  So as we walked along I asked “can I tell you a secret?” of course she replied “what?”  then I told her what my plan had been all along and she just squealed with delight and hugged my neck so hard I thought she might break it!  So into the jewelry store we go and she is looking for this special ring and it is not in any of the cases I can see a little look of worry cross her face as she asks one of the clerks about it.  The clerk told her that they had not put it out that morning and went to get it.  Now when Lena had described this ring to me being of white and yellow gold (for those that don’t know most gold in the FSU is rose) with white sapphires well I was expecting something quite different than what I saw. A simple band with seven stones not much bigger than a pin prick evenly spaced around it.  Again my girl is practical even when it comes to extravagance.  We purchase the ring and walk up the street to another jewelers to pick out my ring.  Now she thought that my ring should in someway compliment hers so I looked through the array of rings and tried on several. Now in the FSU apparently they don’t resize rings you just keep looking for one that fits.  Finally I found one that was pretty close (apparently I don’t have metric size fingers as I had to have it resized when I got back)  So now we had the rings and exited the jewelry store past the guard with the AK-47 got about five steps outside the door and Lena exclaims “Oh we don’t have a box!” Now in my mind I’m going a box? A box for what?  This is how I learned another FSU tradition the rings are placed in a jewelry ring box when you go to ZAGS and then taken out of this box when you put the rings on each others fingers.  So back into the store to buy a box cost one whole American dollar.

It has been a busy day with a lot of nervous stuff for us both so we catch up with Lesha at the main market in the center of town and have blini stuffed with ham and cheese as a late lunch. But the day is over yet as Lena needs a few things for the kitchen so in we go looking for fresh vegetables, fresh everybody’s favorite smetana.  We go for the dairy isle first Lena really has her heart set on some farm fresh milk but it seems that it is all gone for the day.  She starts looking for someone with smetana there is an old babushka with a pot of the stuff with a crowd of four or five women wanting to buy the last of it.  Now this is just one example of how my Lena has a very busy guardian angel.  The babushka sees Lena and pours the last of the smetana into a jar and caps it ignoring all her other customers and gives it to Lena with a huge smile on her face.  This is not the first time I have witnessed things like this, so do you think I might have married someone special?  We get to a vegetable booth that Lena likes and a similar thing happens the lady comes out and sorts through the cucumbers and tomatoes selecting the best ones.  Now any of you that have spent time in FSU countries know that this is quite unusual.

It’s late in the afternoon and we are all pretty bushed so we head to Artems school to pick him up and drive home to a meal of Lenas wonderful homemade borcht with fresh miracle smetana.

[tim 360]

Just a great trip report.  Your attention to detail puts one right there in vivid technicolor.  I'll keep reading, Cheers, tim360

[bgreed]

The day before the day:
Wow I thought only one more day before we get married.  Just a random thought that went through my mind on the way to the clinic.  No its not what you think no injury or illness to report just a routine blood draw at the request of my beautiful bride to be.  As you know we are expecting and Lena has been very concerned about my blood type as to whether it was positive or negative.  She had asked me this question early on and of course my reply was “ I have no idea, positive I think.”  Well this answer wasn’t good enough so she had determined that when I came to Sumy that a blood test would be in order.  Now if you don’t know there can be some problems with children if the parents blood types aren’t correct, but from what I know in these cases most times the pregnancy doesn’t usually go full term.  So this was the day and to be my opportunity to partake of the services of the Ukraine medical system.

We get to the clinic and enter in to an area that was most likely decorated sometime in the 1930’s and hadn’t been painted since.  We walk up to the receptionist where I am told that I have to remove my shoes.  OK when in Rome…. So I give her my shoes in return she gives me a token, a pair of slippers and a pair of cloth boots.  I look at Lena with that “and what the heck are these for looks”  she replies with her classic “you will see”  The place we need to go is on the second floor so I don the slippers and up we go.  Where we check in with a nurse, give her the little stamped piece of paper that says we paid and she rubber bands it to a test tube with a rubber stopper hands it back and points for us to sit down.  So there we sit me with my slippers and cloth booties still wondering what I am to do with them.  The doors open a my name is called this is when Lena tells me to put on the booties over the slippers.  I have to ask so “what are these things for anyway” and I get the answer “to protect against microbes”  Well of course silly these half worn out piece of cloth are going to stop the spread of microbes, OooKK.  So dressed appropriately in I go where there are two nurses in full surgical gear,  I mean face masks head covering the whole shebang. Over on a table is a guy giving blood looks pretty much like the standard procedure we use in the US until they come to the point that the bag is the right weight.  Then they just cut the tubing with some surgical scissors and drain a little blood into a test tube and put on the cork.  I’m guessing this is for testing and typing but not the greatest sterile technique I’ve ever seen.  The guy has the needle removed and gets up and leaves so I’m next.  The older of the two nurses comes over and takes the test tube from me and puts a tourniquet on my arm.  The other comes over and swabs my arm with the usual betadine type solution picks up the syringe and sticks me.  Great technique hardly felt the needle prick. I watch as she fills the syringe, pulls the needle out, of course places the cotton ball and folds up your arm then I see her remove the needle and squirt the blood into the test tube and put the stopper on. Quite a difference from the way things are done in the US.  So me and my booties are dismissed and we walk down stairs to retrieve my shoes.  We’ll find this afternoon what my blood type really is.

Now it’s off to do a little family shopping.  I think I mentioned earlier that Lena and I had decide that instead of a fancy wedding that we would spend the money to make sure she and Seva would have a cozy place to sleep and so today we would be shopping for a new bed sine the old and I mean OLD twin bed where Artem usually sleeps was shot.  I mean this bed had more lumps than… well just about anything you can name.  The other thing we would be looking for today is a new fall jacket for Artem as he had out grown his old one.  Now for those that are saying “Oh she suckered him into a new bed blah, blah, blah” Let me just say that I have a selfish interest in this as well.  Since Lenas apartment only has two rooms and she lets Artem have the only bedroom well guess where we get to sleep??? Yep on the sleeper sofa in the living room.  Now for those of you that have not had the distinct pleasure of sleeping on a sleeper sofa in the FSU, let me inform you these are not the soft luxury models that you find in the west.  They basically consist of a plywood base and a thin(make that very thin) hard mattress.  And Lenas is no exception after a couple of days on this baby my back is crying for my Serta.  So you can see I wasn’t led down the primrose path by my nose (or other appendage) to buy this bed.  So first stop was the largest furniture store in Sumy which is in a building near the center which is adjacent to the central market which building also houses the largest Produckta (super market) in Sumy along with clothing shops and what have you.  On display they have about eight bedroom suite type set ups along with some just bed displays we look and she finds one that she kind of likes, but wants to check the other store that’s a block or so away so off we go. Did I mention that even when these girls are far into pregnancy that they walk you ass off? We get to the other store and look around none of the bed styles are very appealing and their prices are a lot higher for the same mattress.  Now for those of you that have shopped for a mattress set here in the US you know that there is a wide range of sizes, styles, hardness-softness etc. to choose from.  Well in Ukraine you have three sizes and three styles, none of which even closely equate to what you will find here in the US.  So it is back to the other store where a friendly salesman actually greets us and acts like he gives a crap about selling us a bed and mattress.  Funny thing his spiel sounded very much like what you would hear from a US bed salesman even though it was in Russian and I could only catch a few words. Oh something else I forgot to mention is that beds in Ukraine don’t come with box springs the mattress sits on slats that support it.  Well at least it’s an inner spring mattress!!  We pay for the bed and then I get the bad news they can’t deliver it till Sunday afternoon!  Great my flight leaves at 8:20am on Sunday((  Oh well Lena and Artem will have a nice place to sleep and I get to test it out on my next trip.

Now that we have a bed it’s on to find  a fall jacket for Artem so we start to make a circuit of some of the downtown shops and we really aren’t finding anything.  Some Lena declares as not good quality and others as too expensive.  We go to two or three different shops not finding anything very interesting even visiting a couple of second hand shops.  Finally one last shop as we look through the assortment of jackets.  For some of you a picture of Wal-marts or Kmarts might come to mind but think very small crowed shops and that the selection of what your looking for might be a dozen jackets.  So in this last shop we find the perfect jacket in red and blue “see how it matches the colors in his shoes.” Ok not something I would worry about , but great!!  So a new fall jacket is found for the huge sum of $30USD.  Oh going back to the bed. We got a bed and mattress for $250USD.

Somewhere in all of this I forgot to mention about shopping for baby stuff.  So I’m just going to talk about it here.  Some of you might remember my thread “am I really a tightwad”  where Lena and I were having a bit of a debate about the cost, quality and style of baby carriages in the FSU.  So to prove her point we went shopping for baby stuff.  It was something we needed to do anyway so off we went.  First stop was a shop in the center on the second floor.  (Those of you that have not yet traveled to a FSU country do not take for granted that when using steps to go up or down that they will all be of a consistent height.  On this trip because of all the things we had to do I went up and down more steps than usual and there is no rhyme or reason to how heights are calculated and if the top or bottom step is much higher or lower “oh well it’s Ukraine” just watch your step and don’t break your neck.  So we enter the first room and there are cribs and cradles and a few tricycles the next room is nothing but baby carriages.  Ranging in price from about $250USD for a Chinese looks like it will break tomorrow model to the Italian super model for about $600USD.  Lena showed me one that she thought would be good and the sales man when through his whole routine of taking it apart and showing how it was insulated and that it had a good suspension, and that it could convert to a more normal stroller in warm weather.  I was dutifully impressed but told Lena we needed to look further.  Now understand she had picked a middle of the road model not the top end.  This model $350 USD.  Next store we went to was more of the same stuff only this one carried more of the small things that babies use. Next store, now this one was THE baby store in Sumy it had all the stuff for baby.  Thermometer for air temperature, thermometer for water temperature, Baby bathtub, then there was a whole list of stuff that her doctor told her she would need to bring to the hospital.  All in all I can’t tell you how much we spent not a huge amount but Lena was happy the she had all the basic necessities for babies arrival.  I looked a carriages here as well now this place had the top model $950USD for a baby carriage Lena couldn’t believe how expensive it was and I told her for that price it better have a motor and maybe a chauffer.  Now to further clarify this whole baby carriage thing When Lena told me the price of baby carriages in Ukraine my reaction was “no way” I know what people earn there and there is no way they could afford such a thing.  Well during my time in Sumy I spent a lot of time ogling the moms that were pushing babies around and I tell you I could count on one hand the number of them that were pushing the Chinese or cheap models 90% of what I saw was models similar in price to what Lena wanted.  So you can guess who’s buying a nice carriage.

Another thing that really floored me during this shopping trip was that the doctor also gave Lena a list of medicines and supplies that she would need to bring to the hospital.  Now for those that don’t know in FSU countries the hospital supply a bed and a room and that’s about the extent of it.  If you have to stay in the hospital you are responsible to bring your own bed linen, table service, clothes, medicine and hopefully you have someone who can bring you food two or three times a day as well.  And while your there your expected to pay for service too.  Need a bed pan? 15 hgr, baby needs diaper changed? 15hgr need an extra blanket because there’s no heat in the room tough call your friend or relative and have them bring you one.  So another stop was a t the Apteka (pharmacy) to get this list of supplies as well.  Now something we found out just a few days ago is that when the woman goes into labor and arrives at the hospital they will check her out and then give her another list of supplies that she will need most which can be purchased at the Apteka downstairs.  Oh and if they don’t have it the one on the corner probably does.  Can you say Oh my God and wonder why women aren’t dropping kids in the middle of the street.  Oh and by the way we had to pay a doctor extra and a nurse so that we could be sure that Lena and Seva would get the best care when the time comes.

Now after we have finished our shopping we are leisurely walking back to the apartment is later in the afternoon the autumn sun is warm yet the air is very comfortable.  We are going a different way than usual but after all the walking we have done around Sumy I actually have some idea of where I am.  Lenas phone rings she answers and I see her jaw drop and her eyes get big as she exclaims (Vhat! Vhat!) she hangs up and tells me Lesha got the results of your blood test back and your blood is second negative (anybody got any idea what this means??)  I can tell she is shocked and worried.  I tell her that everything will be fine as I am sure that if this was really a problem that there would have been more problems with the pregnancy.  But she is sure that something will be wrong. (She has positive blood) so we walk back toward the apartment with me continuing to give reassurance.  The clinic she goes to is on the way to the apartment so we stop in. No one is waiting and so I sit down and Lena goes in to see her doctor.  About two minutes later she comes out with an ear to ear grin on her face.  I ask her what the doctor had said.  ”She told Lena stop your worrying it is no problem it would only be a problem if  your blood were negative and his positive”  So now both of us at ease we wander our way back to the apartment.

[bgreed]

THE DAY!!!)))))))))))

I felt that today would be especially appropriate to write about our wedding as it is our one month anniversary (the 19th) of course we celebrated it with mushy cards and letters as well as a phone call.

Now for those of you that have heard all the stories about FSU weddings and all the things that happen there well I’m afraid that you will be a little disappointed in this case.  As you know Lena and I are expecting a baby soon, and here I mean like real soon as in anytime is possible.  I had put together the money for a nice yet simple wedding celebration but Lena thought that she would rather have some improvements to the apartment and some extra things for baby so we decided to do that rather than to have a big party.  I know, I know sounds like an old married couple just waaay to practical.  Well my Lena as much as she likes to have fun and try new things still has that Russian soul of practicality and so I had to agree with her.  So that is why you have seen all the writing about the household things we bought.  But that doesn’t mean that we didn’t have fun.

Our wedding day dawned a bit on the gloomy side as far as sun was concerned but the weather was warm after breakfast we went to the city center just to walk around and do some poking in different stores.  Our ceremony time was at 4:30 so we had most of a day to kill.  As we went into one of Sumys little malls in the center as I wanted to buy a bottle of Ukraines best for a friend of mine I see this guy look at Lena then look a me and I saw a rather unpleasant look come over his face.  My first thought was that he was just someone who didn’t like foreigners especially Americans.  When I asked Lena if she had seen him she told me that he was a boy she went to school with that always  had a crush on her so she said he was probably a little surprised to see her in her present condition and to be walking around with me.  Oh well, sore looser)))))  Of course we spent some more time looking at baby things (of course) and just enjoying having a little quiet time together not having to hurry and get something accomplished that day.  About three o’clock we went to a favorite little café for the traditional afternoon tea and cakes.  Now this is a really nice little place with some good artwork on the walls by local artists.  That is one thing that I have really come to appreciate about Ukraine is the number of good quality painters that seem to abound.  We meet Lesha at the café as he is fulfilling his role as chauffer which has saved us a ton of time and frustration so Lesha my hat is off to you Thank you, Thank you. After we were done with tea and Lena had excused herself, you know how it is with pregnant women.  I quickly talked to Lesha and asked him to go get flowers for Lena and meet us at ZAGS he was off like a shot.  It’s tough to describe how Lena and her brother get along but they are always joking and you can tell they care a lot for each other probably comes from a pretty rough upbringing.  Of course when Lena comes back Lesha is no where to be seen, she asks me where he has gone and my reply is “he said he had something to do”  fortunately ZAGS is just about a two block walk away not even a warm up for a FSU girl!! AND  so we make the short walk all the while Lena is wondering where Lesha has disappeared to.  We get to ZAGS a little ahead of our appointed time and are standing in the parking lot just talking a little and Lena is still musing about Lesha, then she looks directly at me and says “Are you sure you don’t know where he is?”  Ok there is one thing I cannot do with Lena and that is look her in the eye and lie to her so I break eye contact and am looking at the sky, the ground buildings anything but at her.  She puts her arms around my neck and smiling say” you do know where he went don’t you?” Ummm me ah well ah no, no, no idea.  Just then Lesha pulls up and also trys to play innocent but he’s no good at it either.  So I reach in the back seat and pull out the roses I had him buy.  She squeals with delight a huge smile on her face Greeggochka!! Mr. Innocent!  For which I received a big kiss and a giant hug!)))  Now it was almost time for our appointment so we went to the door and found it LOCKED!!! And apparently no one around.  We knocked on the door and no answer so now we’re starting to get a little anxious as tomorrow is Friday and the end of the week!  Just then Ira arrives she had promised that she would be there for the ceremony just incase something might happen.  She knocks on a window and a cleaning lady comes and opens the door. Ira has us sit down in their version of a lobby (one wooden table and three wooden chairs)  as she went to dig up the director a few minutes later she is back and leads us to the room where they do the ceremony.  Well I’ve got to tell you there isn’t a whole lot to the ceremony a one minute speech, sign your names in the book, exchange rings, they stamp your passport that your married see ya later  bye!! I know it’s all kind of a let down after all the build up but what can I say I married a practical girl, well most of the time anyway))))  The director  (you remember the wicked witch of the east?) gave us her congratulations as did Ira and Lesha we all went to the car rode a round a bit dropped Ira off at her office and it was time to pick Artem up from school.  As we got to the school the kids were just heading outside for a little playtime so we met Artem on the stairs showed him the rings and told him the news.  He was very impressed long enough to smile a huge smile to give hugs all around and to head out the door to play soccer with his friends while Lena and I went upstairs to get his books and see what this evenings homework assignment was.  We came down and all got into the car Artems first question once we started moving was “When can I call you dad?”  I told him “anytime he was ready” well he was ready and for the rest of my time there it was dad this and dad that I don’t think he ever missed an opportunity to use it.   Of course it really made me feel good as Artems father has not been a part of his life much beyond conception and he is one great kid!!!  We traveled back to the apartment Lena and I snuggled in the back seat both smiling from ear to ear.  When we got back I introduced Lena to an American tradition and carried her over the threshold into the apartment.  We spent a little time just relaxing and I put another coat of paint on part of the crib.  I told Lena that we at least had to go to a restaurant for dinner as she wasn’t cooking on her wedding day.  To this she agreed and since there are a couple of nice restaurants near her apartment we decided to walk (of course) one of these restaurants was decided against immediately because the manager had always been offering Lena free meals of course hoping that there might be some exchange.  So we chose another that has a sauna and the meals are cooked in a wood fired brick oven.  Now this where typical Ukrainian customer service comes in as the place had only one menu in English and it was in use at the time.  So we waited and waited finally we ordered something to drink, fruit juice for the misses and a beer for me.  Then the waitress asked if I wanted a liter or a half liter.  A liter of beer?  I don’t think so! Turned out the half liter is served in a glass so big it was all I could do to get my hand around it,.  And still we waited now if there is one thing that Lena just cannot tolerate is incompetence and poor customer service.  Gee you’d think with all her life in Russia and Ukraine she’s be used to it. Now this is a case where I’m frustrated and out of my depth as my Russian is next to useless and it is impossible to be the man and complain to management when you have no common language.  So my wife of just a few hours pipes up to the manager and gets a pretty flimsy sorry for her trouble.  The food was pretty good if you don’t mind the wait.  We finished our meal and strolled back toward the apartment both happy and contented just to be together and to know that we had accomplished something very special to us both.

[sideskraft]

Just a fantastic TR!  I couldn't stop reading it, and what a happy ending.  I hope things are even happier now that you're together   The only question I have is . . . who ya gonna be rooting for on Monday night's football game (I'm guessing you're not a Buckeye fan)    All the best . . . .

[Stranger]

 Bgreed Lena not for you!

[bgreed]

Well Stranger I can tell you that Lena obviously made the decision that she was and is for me

So just that everyone else on the board has and idea of what kind of person you are let me introduce you.

Ladies and gentlemen Stranger hails from the island of Cyprus where he made his fortune by investing in realestate.  He is a former boyfriend of my wife who she sent packing nearly two and a half years ago.  But it seems he didn't get the message even though she made it loud and clear and has continued to do so as he has had her followed, calling her to tell her what she had just done.  Has continually made unannounced and uninvited appearances at her apartment.  Has on a number of occasions tried to interfer with our relationship by trying to drive a wedge between my wife and I using any nefarious means at his disposal.  Just yesterday he posted a false profile of my wife on a dating site giving out her mobile phone number so that she was recieving calls from men she didn't know and didn't want to communicate with.

Oh, and stranger I know about your threat to come to America to confront me. All I can say is come right ahead the gators here in Louisiana might like Greek food.