Seeking a bit of an advice

[andrewfi]

Don't Bruno, most hookers are not the most beautiful women, those women have no need to work in that business...

But frankly I was, in part, thinking of Doug. Given what we were told, I do not think I would have spent a week with her. Given her photgraphs, I would not have bothered, but we all have different standards

There is not too much wrong in seeking a good looking woman who is also pleasant. They exist in plenty, just that most guys are too scared of them to be able to ever find out! Given that the only think we have to start with, in any relationship, is physical appearance, I see no problem in making it a consideration. Making the mistake of confusing an image with a person, or in making allowances based upon appearance is where so many guys go very wrong.

[Bruno]

Making the mistake of confusing an image with a person, or in making allowances based upon appearance is where so many guys go very wrong.

Very good

 

[Turboguy]

There is another factor that I never see mentioned.   There is a big difference between being pretty and being photogenic.   I see women who are beautiful but don't photograph well.  I see others that are ugly but do.   I see other gals who don't photograph all that well but in the hands of a professional photo photograper can look like a model.   

When I think back to some of my tours the last gal I really liked on my last tour had photos on a website that made her look like a model.  In real life she was sorta dumpy.   She had the persona of the nurse you would dream of having if you were really sick and that was what I really liked about her.   I can recall another tour gal in Moscow that sat these photos of herself down in front of me.  The photos would have any guy eating their hearts out.  The gal herself would not rate a cup of coffee.   Photos don't tell the whole story. 

 

[GQBlues]

I do agree with you there Turboguy. But you know what's been said, pictures never lie. Besides, you know how many FSUM made a killing sending these same pictures to sappy guys in NA

[Turboguy]

Well maybe pictures never lie but I have seen some that do.   Anyone with Adobe photoshop can make a photo say anything they want.    But yes, I understand your point.

[Photo Guy]

But frankly I was, in part, thinking of Doug. Given what we were told, I do not think I would have spent a week with her. Given her photgraphs, I would not have bothered, but we all have different standards

That was a kind and considerate thing to say. It says a lot about you.
At this point I am forced to ask Dan to delete my trip report. I do not want HER to ever read these kind of negative insults. UNCIVILIZED Andrew.  Are you proud of yourself?  Thanks a lot.    -Doug

[Turboguy]

I have to say after reading your comments Andrewfin that you might find a pretty girl, but I doubt that either a nice girl or an intelligent one would want anything do to with such a shallow, insensitive and ignorant person as you are.

Damn that was a rotten thing to say. 

[KenC]

Doug,

Anytime someone posts photos of their girlfriend and or wife on a public forum, they are subjecting themselves to comments, good and bad.  I would never say anything negative about the looks of another man's woman, but some will and you must expect the possibility.  As for your T/R, I hope Dan doesn't remove it.  You're the one that made your trip an "open book" to the public, not any one else.  I would never open up my personal life on a public forum like you have done.  You have yet to figure out how to really "use" a great forum like this one.  It isn't for public approval or help in making judgement calls like you have done.  Your reaction to the negative feedback you received is just childish at best.  As Donna Pedro has said in the past, "If you don't want scary answers, don't ask scary questions." 

Your "UNCIVILIZED" comments after anyone doesn't agree with you are also a hoot.  Is that suppose to a cut?  Please bless me with your self indulging slam.  Like anyone cares.

KenC

[BC]

Things said openly around these virtual rooms will likely be said behind your back in real life. Get used to it and get over it.

I would actually prefer (and respect)the 'uncivilized' up front approach.

Another tip..  If the post is a few days old better leave be.. this thread was headed to the dusty archive (no posts in over a week),never to be seen again... now it starts again.. - don't blame us.

[Photo Guy]

KenC,
In New York, we call Andrewfin's rude comment a 'cheap shot'.
That is what it is. Period. What if Larisa reads that? You think that
would be okay? Well and good?   ...why? Do you hate a person you have never met?

I apologize for making the mistake of enthusiastically posting snapshots from my Kiev trip. That was my terrible goof. If I had known  there were so many malevolent people here at RWD, I would not have posted those photos. No doubt about that.   Doug

[Photo Guy]

I would actually prefer (and respect)the 'uncivilized' up front approach.

Really? You have got to be joking. We should teach that in our public schools. Trash your neighbor for no apparent reason.   Doug

[Photo Guy]

 It isn't for public approval or help in making judgement calls like you have done.  Your reaction to the negative feedback you received is just childish at best.  As Donna Pedro has said in the past, "If you don't want scary answers, don't ask scary questions

KenC,
My reactions are motivated by my desire to defend Larisa.
It's that simple. Putting Larisa down with crude remarks has NOTHING to do with scary answers or questions. Don't pretend it does. Can you imagine what I would do if I was face to face with these thugs?  Doug

[catzenmouse]

Doug,

 What it all boils down to is if you are happy with her and she is happy with you then nothing that is said here (or behind your back) matters. I'm sure that there are plenty of people who would tell me that Elena was not right for me without knowing her or me, or whatever other nonsense they can think of, but I would not trade a moment of time with her. She's the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I hope that you find that feeling also.

Ken

[Photo Guy]

Ken,
Yes, you are absolutely right. I feel fine about Larisa and me.

I guess I would characterize my reaction like this:
You are walking down the street with your daughter, or your wife,
and some stranger walks up to you and tells you that in his opinion,
the girl is not worth the time, because in his opinion she is rather un-beautiful.
How would the average guy react to that?

What is it? Someone's version of 'fun'?  
Yeah, I should just ignore it.   ....It's not easy.

[Turboguy]

Ken, that was a nice post.  I think you are right that what really matters is what we feel inisde and if we are happy. 

I am sure I am going to get some people talking behind my back as many do who have some age difference in their relationships. 

I have been promoting a little more kindness in our comments here for a long time and don't plan to stop.  From some of the other comments in other discussions it sounds like no matter what we will all get a few comments from time to time. 

[Admin]

I have been promoting a little more kindness in our comments here for a long time and don't plan to stop.

And I, for one, greatly appreciate it!  

- Dan

[Turboguy]

Thank you Dan.  I like it here.  If I can help in any way to make it a better place I want to do that.   I think you do a great job of trying to make it a place where everyone can learn and help each other.

[KenC]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

I guess I would characterize my reaction like this:
You are walking down the street with your daughter, or your wife,
and some stranger walks up to you and tells you that in his opinion,
the girl is not worth the time, because in his opinion she is rather un-beautiful. 
 

There is a huge difference from what you post here to reality.  You solicited input from the members here in your first T/R.  Once you open the door like that it is almost impossible to close it.  You even cornered me via a PM for my opinion, which I grudgingly gave you in a very sugar coated version.  You seem to convienently forget that you invited this forum into your personal matters.  What you got from that may be crude and unwanted, but it still was your invitation that opened the floodgates.

KenC

[Photo Guy]

KenC,
Let's see. You are saying that since I asked for opinions about my trip, that this somehow opens an inevitable floodgate of rude behavior. No, I do not believe that. Take responsibility for your behavior. Or in your kind of font:
 KenC, Take responsibility for your behavior! [/color]   -Doug
             PS Go make fun of your own woman

[Turboguy]

That is the best laugh I have had in a while Photo Guy.   One of the things I have noticed is that often those that really like to make hateful remarks never say much about their own lives or post any photos of thier gals.

I agree with you.  Asking for advice is not asking for what you got.

[tim 360]

Doug,

If you post "whatever" here or anywhere else on the internet and expect polite affirmation....ya got to be nuts.  I got NO idea of why you post all the personal stuff you do???  

If you are thinking you will have your particuliar views affirmed---I don't know what to tell you?  You throw out your speil and you get feedback,  some you like and some you don't.  Get over it.

This ain't (or I never construed it as such) a therapy board or a always happy positve feedback board.  People give their opinion and then you weigh and sift whattcha get and from who you get the feedback (+/-) from.  Nothing to debate.  Nothing to argue about.

You post stuff which invites comment and agrument and not everyone is going to agree with your brainwave patterns.  And they won't always be polite about it either.  So if you got personal stuff which you don't want comments on---which may differ from your opinion or mindset or whattcha wanna hear---don't post it on a public internet board.  Pretty simple.

Ken C is right-on with his post.  You may not like what he is telling you,  but...think it over.  Its a public internet board and some thing you keep private.  It's a great board.  Use it wisely.  It is a good tool.  But not for all things.  Tim

 

 

[Photo Guy]

Tim,
What in God's name are you talking about?!

I'm not talking about general opinions or advice or feedback about my dating strategies or comments about my trip. Do you hear me? this has nothing to do with being on the same wavelength. This is about civility, -apparently a meanlingless word for some.

I am talking about KenC putting-down my woman. It is totally low behavior. Admit it. Did I criticize his appearance or the appearance of his woman or anything else? Who the Hell will be writing future trip reports, if a snapshot of a woman is somehow interpreted to mean, Please throw darts here for the fun of it!?  Tim, you are completely wrong. Wake up!  You're encouraging that kind of behavior?
.....The result will be a community of lurkers. And it's a world YOU will have helped create.     Doug

[Admin]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

KenC,
Let's see. You are saying that since I asked for opinions about my trip, that this somehow opens an inevitable floodgate of rude behavior. No, I do not believe that. Take responsibility for your behavior. Or in your kind of font:
 KenC, Take responsibility for your behavior! [/color]   -Doug
             PS Go make fun of your own woman

Doug,

Ken has been a bit tougher on here than I have seen in the past - BUT - I have been on the same boards with Ken for . . . well, quite a few years. Olya and I also had the pleasure of meeting Ken and Lena a few years back.

My point is - there are few people anywhere more rational and grounded in their views than Ken. When he takes a more vigorous approach to make his point, as he has in this instance, it is because he truly believes it necessary.

I don't expect that you and he necessarily need to agree - but I would hope that you would come to appreciate Ken's perspective. He has a ton of wisdom to offer.

- Dan

[Bruno]

[user=62]tim 360[/user] wrote:

Doug,

If you post "whatever" here or anywhere else on the internet and expect polite affirmation....ya got to be nuts.  I got NO idea of why you post all the personal stuff you do???  

If you are thinking you will have your particuliar views affirmed---I don't know what to tell you?  You throw out your speil and you get feedback,  some you like and some you don't.  Get over it.

This ain't (or I never construed it as such) a therapy board or a always happy positve feedback board.  People give their opinion and then you weigh and sift whattcha get and from who you get the feedback (+/-) from.  Nothing to debate.  Nothing to argue about.

You post stuff which invites comment and agrument and not everyone is going to agree with your brainwave patterns.  And they won't always be polite about it either.  So if you got personal stuff which you don't want comments on---which may differ from your opinion or mindset or whattcha wanna hear---don't post it on a public internet board.  Pretty simple.

Ken C is right-on with his post.  You may not like what he is telling you,  but...think it over.  Its a public internet board and some thing you keep private.  It's a great board.  Use it wisely.  It is a good tool.  But not for all things.  Tim 

I see what have happen with Doug from a other point of view... like him, i have make a TR and ask comment... In the case of Doug, he have receive plenty of comment and several enough vulgar... in my case, nothing... since my trip was a full misluck, i have think have more bad comment... Why so much difference ?

People know that Doug is a easy victim... that myself, with my big mouth, i go conter attack unfunded post... here is the big difference... people have choice to attack the weak, the easy way... no, about the comment, some was vulgar but with a good content to search between insult... why it is need to use bad word for explain your meaning... this can only lead to the reject of all your post...

Now, i think that Doug need forget a little these story and start again with a clean mind... Maybe some have make bad comment on your TR but they can always make good comment for other topic...

Everybody make mistake but forgive is something of great value...

 

[BC]

Bruno,

Much of what has happened and still happening is in response to Doug's reactions, not the content of his TR.

I don't think you would have reacted in the same manner.

The board 'moved on' over 10 days ago until Doug brought the subject back up agian.

Your TR on the other hand doesn't even appear anymore on the 'recent posts' and both these threads stopped around the same time.

Ask and you shall receive..

Repetition only serves to reinforce.