How long are the letters?

[justanotherguy]

I understand most of these women are writing lots of letters to lots of guys.  That being said, do you consider there to be a "minimum" length of a letter to really take someone seriously?  What are the average lengths of your correspondence?  a few sentences, a few paragraphs, a few pages?  I'm just curious

[BillyB]

I do you consider there to be a "minimum" length of a letter to really take someone seriously?  What are the average lengths of your correspondence?  a few sentences, a few paragraphs, a few pages?  I'm just curious

A few paragraphs to a page will do for me. Anything less, she's probably not answering all my questions and not asking me any. Anything more is usually drivel from a scammers canned letter.

I also consider factors such as a lady's English abillity, cost of her internet, and access to a computer. I know it's difficult for some ladies to interpret my letter fully and write a big letter back often so I don't assume they lack interest based on their limited abilities in English or access to a computer.

I never write a letter more than a page long. I've read guys on forums insist their intro letter be up to 14 pages long. Most women will assume the guy who written the letter has mental problems IMO. A guy can write a short letter and still put a lot of thought in it.

[Simoni]

It varies tremendously.  From a paragraph to a page.

As with the man, the first few letters from ladies are canned.   They tell you about their life and their hobbies and pets and goals in life.

After that, look for more personal info-- specifically answers to the questions you ask her.  The absence of these answers is a red flag.

Try to move to getting her cell number and to using text messages.  That way letters can go away and a more "normal" conversation, via text messages, can take place.  This excludes many girls who don't speak English, but I recommend you exclude them anyway, if marriage is your goal.

[justanotherguy]

It varies tremendously.  From a paragraph to a page.

As with the man, the first few letters from ladies are canned.   They tell you about their life and their hobbies and pets and goals in life.

After that, look for more personal info-- specifically answers to the questions you ask her.  The absence of these answers is a red flag.

Try to move to getting her cell number and to using text messages.  That way letters can go away and a more "normal" conversation, via text messages, can take place.  This excludes many girls who don't speak English, but I recommend you exclude them anyway, if marriage is your goal.

text messages aren't too expensive for them?  Do most women there have cell phones?

[Misha]

text messages aren't too expensive for them?  Do most women there have cell phones?

Most women in Russia that I know have cell phones, even in the villages. There are different plans, but generally text messages are a lot cheaper than calls and they are very popular.

If a woman has a computer and a connection to the internet (usually at work) she may have ICQ which allows you to chat "live". My wife keeps up with a lot of her friends from her former job through ICQ.

[Simoni]

text messages aren't too expensive for them?  Do most women there have cell phones?

It has changed over the last few years, but yes, all the girls there have cell phones now. In our circle of friends, I can't think of anyone in Ukraine who does not have a cell phone.   And yes, text messages from her to you are very cheap.  For you to here, it's more expensive.  I saved money by sending text messages via email, which were free.

During the time Marina and I dated, we exchanged almost 20 thousand text messages.

I can only think of one guy in the US who doesn't have a cell phone!  He is a frequent poster here, BTW :-)

[catzenmouse]

I can only think of one guy in the US who doesn't have a cell phone!  He is a frequent poster here, BTW :-)

Hey Now! I resemble that remark...

[SANDRO43]

Let's be scientific about this :

YLL = (TMA * HLL * FHL * HA/2) / HCAI

where:
YLL: Your Letter Length
TMA: Time of Mutual Acquaintance (weeks)
HLL: Her Letter Length (if not a scammer)
FHL: Frequency of Her Letters (number per week)
HA:  Her Attractiveness (half, to reduce the risk of over-enthusiasm creating over-verbosity) 
HCAI: Her Cost for Accessing Internet

[justanotherguy]

It has changed over the last few years, but yes, all the girls there have cell phones now. In our circle of friends, I can't think of anyone in Ukraine who does not have a cell phone.   And yes, text messages from her to you are very cheap.  For you to here, it's more expensive.  I saved money by sending text messages via email, which were free.

During the time Marina and I dated, we exchanged almost 20 thousand text messages.

I can only think of one guy in the US who doesn't have a cell phone!  He is a frequent poster here, BTW :-)

How do you send text messages via email?  Also, can a US cell phone display a Russian language text?  I'm trying to learn Russian and being able to get Russian language texts would be a good thing in that case.

[Simoni]

Hey Now! I resemble that remark...

Yes, can you imagine?  A tech guy without a cell phone?  LOL

[justanotherguy]

Let's be scientific about this :

YLL = (TMA * HLL * FHL * HA/2) / HCAI

where:
YLL: Your Letter Length
TMA: Time of Mutual Acquaintance (weeks)
HLL: Her Letter Length (if not a scammer)
FHL: Frequency of Her Letters (number per week)
HA:  Her Attractiveness (half, to reduce the risk of over-enthusiasm creating over-verbosity) 
HCAI: Her Cost for Accessing Internet

this was an absolutly useless post.  How can I use this formula if you don't specify the units

[Simoni]

How do you send text messages via email?  Also, can a US cell phone display a Russian language text?  I'm trying to learn Russian and being able to get Russian language texts would be a good thing in that case.

Yes, Marina has russian characters on her phone.  She just had the program updated while in Ukraine this summer.  It did strip the warranty from at&t when she did it.  Some phones come preinstalled with the russian language, so check that first.

To send your girl a text message from you computer to her cell phone, do this:

phone #@sms.umc.com.ua  (country code of 3 is not listed for umc)
as in:
80xxxxxxxxx@sms.umc.com.ua

That's for umc customers.  Every service does this, so guess you would just change the end part for another provider.  But that's just a guess.

Good luck!

[SANDRO43]

this was an absolutly useless post.  How can I use this formula if you don't specify the units

I did, except for:
YLL, HLL: anything (lines/paragraphs/pages), provided they are the SAME on both sides of the equation.
HA:  the standard 1/10 scale will do .
HCAI: $/€ per hour will do (if you use the Ruble/Hrivna equivalent, you'll get a HUGE divisor and maybe an irrational number as a result ).

[Lily]

How do you send text messages via email?  Also, can a US cell phone display a Russian language text?  I'm trying to learn Russian and being able to get Russian language texts would be a good thing in that case.

In case she has a MTS cellphone number (after 7 come 916- *** -****, 917-***-**** and some more), this provider has a feature on their website allowing sending sms from anywhere to a Russian MTS cellphone. You just type the message in and type a confirmation code. Free both for sender and for receiver.

here is the link

http://sms.mts.ru/

[catzenmouse]

Yes, can you imagine?  A tech guy without a cell phone?  LOL

Being in IS is exactly why I steer clear of cells and other gadgets (We don't even have an I-Pod, X-Box, PS 3 either.  ) Heck, we don't even have HBO or digital cable! Now we're moving to a small town (population 4800 - no Walmart, Target, etc.) where we can walk to the town square and Sergei can walk to school. Stone age fits my off time just fine! 

Ken

[justanotherguy]

Being in IS is exactly why I steer clear of cells and other gadgets (We don't even have an I-Pod, X-Box, PS 3 either.  ) Heck, we don't even have HBO or digital cable! Now we're moving to a small town (population 4800 - no Walmart, Target, etc.) where we can walk to the town square and Sergei can walk to school. Stone age fits my off time just fine! 

Ken

IS as in... InfoSec?

[catzenmouse]

Information Services is what it is called here (it was IT at the Fed when I worked there). IS, IT, or any other acronym you have it's all Dilbert in one way or another!  The specific area that I am in now is Usability and Design.

Ken

[justanotherguy]

Information Services is what it is called here (it was IT at the Fed when I worked there). IS, IT, or any other acronym you have it's all Dilbert in one way or another!  The specific area that I am in now is Usability and Design.

Ken

I work in InfoSec/Information Assurance

[Gator]

JAG,
yes definitely move to telephone conversations ASAP.  3-4 letters maximum.   Keep careful notes if communicating with more than one and review them before each call.

[wxman]

If the woman is real and you are both serious, then the letters get shorter and the phone conversations get longer and more frequent.  But of course you also must visit, preferably within 6 months. 

[softy]

yes, it's very reasonable point about visit within 6 monthes because if you communicate in virtual longer, you can get used to it and wouldn't like to real meeting.

[Simoni]

JAG,
yes definitely move to telephone conversations ASAP.  3-4 letters maximum.   Keep careful notes if communicating with more than one and review them before each call.

Golden advice, Gator.

yes, it's very reasonable point about visit within 6 monthes because if you communicate in virtual longer, you can get used to it and wouldn't like to real meeting.

Welcome, Softy 

Wow!  Out of the mouth of a babe (newcomer, that is....likely a babe the other way, too :-) LOL

Your statement it so true, Softy.  When a couple only write letters for an extended period of time (months), they get to know the cyber person and not the real person.  And when they meet in real life, it's just not the same.

So yes, forget dozens of letters.  Get her on the phone.  Start texting her.   And get on that plane and go see her ASAP.

But do have a backup plan, unless you live in Europe and the flight is short.

[Blues Fairy]

When a couple only write letters for an extended period of time (months), they get to know the cyber person and not the real person.  And when they meet in real life, it's just not the same.
So yes, forget dozens of letters. 

Well my guy and I were in correspondence for 3 years before our first face-to-face.  No disappointment whatsoever.  I guess that's because were had enough time to become really good friends before anything else. 

[Simoni]

Well my guy and I were in correspondence for 3 years before our first face-to-face.  No disappointment whatsoever.  I guess that's because were had enough time to become really good friends before anything else. 

That can work; it did for you.

But what's the problem with becoming really good friends in real life?  Personally, it I were truly interested in a girl, I'd go see her...

[Gator]

Welcome Softy!

Blues Fairy, 3 years!   That must be the record.  I think you are the exception of exceptions.   You have the patience of Job.  Did you start correspondence with a 3-year plan in mind, or did he procrastinate a few times along the way?

Listen to Softy - who is on the receiving end of men's correspondence.  Do not be a keyboard Romeo.  Talk to your woman on the telephone, and then go meet her.

Most RW do not have a lot of time to write, write, write in English.  Also, it is rumored that only 5-10% of the men who write letters ever make the trip so they are not motivated for a long correspondence (unless she knows that he is the MAN of her dreams as did BF).

A more important point.  You should assume that she is communicating with someone else (don't make it an issue, please).  That other man may get there before you, and if she likes him....(poof, she is gone).