Just another example of why I am no longer interested in AW ...

[KenC]

 There are not only an abundance(no pun intended) of AW in the U.S. But there are many FW too. I keep my options open while in the U.S. I have dated girls of every single nationality. This is the part I love about living in the U.S.  Asian,latina,Brazilian,Eastern European. Most of my friends date many FW here too. None have traveled to meet FW but me. When I tell them about my great trips,some of my friends look at me as though I'm on drugs because they think the U.S. is loaded with immigrants.

  Perhaps I have not had much luck marrying a  U.S. FW because they get e bit picky when they're here.LOL!!! But I still persue women everywhere. It's a big world and life is an adventure.

mspanky,
I think you have a very healthy attitude!  I don't understand guys that close the door completely on AW while exclusively looking for a wife in the fsu.  No one ever knows where they will find love.  But then again, maybe finding love is not the priority for them.  I know it was mine and I continued to date AW up until the time when Lena and I had a committed relationship.  I will say though that it would take one hell of an AW to measure up to what I have now.  Of course, it would also take one hell of a RW too.
KenC

[AnastassiaAsh]

I think woman like her are rare everywhere. Very few people have it all! Good heart, great looks,intelligence,great mother and wife. Happy,optomistic.If I can find that combination I will marry her ASAP! But I have yet to find it.

Yep, exactly. You have YET to find her. The one who you described is married. And we are talking about single ladies who single AM can correspond and meet with.

After all there are several jewels like that on this board for what i know, but they are all married.  Except Lily. 

I didn't say ALL are fat. I said most of them, lots of them, and those who are not have something else wrong about them.

I can bet one can find the whole package much sooner in Russia than in the US, marry her and be happy ever after, that is of course if he is the whole package too, preferably.

Foreign women get a bit picky when they are here.... You nailed that one. So true.

[Mishenka]

Ken,, I found my wallet,  now let's get off the forum and get to work! 


Anastassia,  whats this about  :)except Lily ?  is she the only woman here who is not married?

Mishenka

[mspanky]

Yep, exactly. You have YET to find her. The one who you described is married. And we are talking about single ladies who single AM can correspond and meet with.

After all there are several jewels like that on this board for what i know, but they are all married.  Except Lily. 

I didn't say ALL are fat. I said most of them, lots of them, and those who are not have something else wrong about them.

I can bet one can find the whole package much sooner in Russia than in the US, marry her and be happy ever after, that is of course if he is the whole package too, preferably.

Foreign women get a bit picky when they are here.... You nailed that one. So true.

 A,

 There are great women all over the world and great FW in the U.S. If what you just added is the truth and I am right about them getting picky once they come to the U.S.  What do you think the chances are for an average guy to bring back a RW or a beautiful FW to the U.S. and keep her when she is now in an environment to meet richer,handsomer,younger men.

 Will she begin to get picky too even though married? I noticed the recent immigrant girls want it all just like AW. In fact, a friend of mine who was dating a recent Polish immigrant told me this girl would be too expensive to get into a relationship with. I guess people are people everywhere. Everyone wants the best they can get in their present environment. A man living in Alaska might settle for the local beauty who is just average. But the same man living in Russia would have a difficult time choosing a mate amongs all the beautiful woman available.

   Does a young RW become like a kid in a candy store when she comes to the U.S. because of all the great available men? In the same way AM men become like kids in a candy store when we travel because of all the great available women? What percentage of RW do you think are truly happy with their American husbands.

[KenC]

mspanky,
As I anxiously await Anastassia's answer to your good questions, I would like to make a few comments here.  I believe it all is a matter of the motivation for the marriage.  If the marriage is for anything other than love, the guy will always be at risk because there is always a richer, younger or more handsome man.  If you consider this, then spending the time to allow your love bloom completely becomes more of a practical matter, doesn't it?  I look at these quickie romances, quickie engagements and the rush to the alter as marriages of conveniences.  In those you get what you get, meaning you will not know what you really got until later.  Some (a few?) may develop into a true love bonding, but most will fall apart when something or someone more convenient comes along.  To me it is a case of pay now (spend the time and money to know for sure) or pay later (when she is walking out the door).
KenC

[groovlstk]

I believe it all is a matter of the motivation of the marriage.  If the marriage is for anything other than love, the guy will always be at risk because there is always a richer, younger or more handsome man. 

KenC

Ken, this ought to be incorporated into the 10 commandments. It would seem like the most basic of tenets yet I know it's so often ignored.

What's to stop a woman from upgrading once she gets to the US? Nothing, if she doesn't love you or you're not extraordinarily wealthy. There may be a few temporary delays, she may be content enough to wait until she has her green card before flying the coop, or she may be genuinely interested in giving the relationship a chance even if the odds of long-term success w/a stranger are astronomical, or her husband - fearing this very possibility - becomes a control freak and cuts her off from all opportunity to mingle with strangers.

I'm sure the guys who buy into agency hype about traditional, faithful women cling to that fallacy, but are ultimately going to see how silly it is.

[Serebro]

After all there are several jewels like that on this board for what i know, but they are all married.  Except Lily. 

hey!!!
Am I not a jewel??????!!!!
Mishenka, I know there many single RW who read this forum(most of them don't post though)
 

[WmGO]

When I hear AM swear off AW I immediately think that something is wrong with the man. The country is just too big with 300 million people for "all" AW to be "bad". 

Also, while I can understand why a man in his upper 30s and older might consider a FW, it just does not make sense for the men in their 20s and early to mid 30 to be swearing off AW. That does not make sense as AM in that age range still have millions of AW who have never been married and have no children to choose from.

AW are some of the best women in the world, although it *is* a legitimate complaint that 80% of them are either fat or obese. That is a serious problem and a big turnoff to any normal man (if the man is a fatty buckles himself he has nothing to complain of ).

[AnastassiaAsh]

Well, KenC answered most of it, here are some of my thoughts:

It all goes down to one thing that I have been talking about since I remember me being on such boards. Find and marry your EQUAL. Why should she leave you if you ARE young (or close to her age)? Why should she leave you if you ARE handsome or handsome enough or athletic and in shape? Why should she leave you if you DO have a stable job and a good salary? Now how about to mix feelings and the most important commitment into this? Why would she want to leave you if she already has everything she could dream of? If you and her initially don’t lie to each other and yourself that she is THE BEST for you and you are THE BEST for her and God is in this relationship, then why would this happen? I don't see any reason.

Now what happens in reality is different. Both men and women go down in their preferences, don't pay attention to things that they should, some sacrifice even their morals just for the relationship to work – and we get relationships and marriages where there is such a huge gap between the two and such an inequality that so often we, observers, say What were they thinking?

What do you think the chances are for an average guy to bring back a RW or a beautiful FW to the U.S. and keep her when she is now in an environment to meet richer,handsomer,younger men.

Very slim if the relationship is not Christian and all the rules of such a relationship are not observed.

Does a young RW become like a kid in a candy store when she comes to the U.S. because of all the great available men?

Well, some yes and some no. It is so hard for me to say sometimes how other Russian women think because I, although Russian, am so different. I know EXACTLY what I want and need in a man. Put me in Alaska, Hawaii or Brazil that won't change and I will be able to choose 1, 2 or 3 from hundreds of really good men, and then narrow it down to the one. Yes, the choice is definitely bigger in the US and at first sight it might seem that so many men can be great suitors, but as soon as you start looking deeper you will realize that not everything is that easy and perfect as it seemed.

Let me tell you about my experience. I was married once to Lance Wasem who passed away in 2003 and I found myself in a situation where I was in the US already and I had to do this all over again but as you say in this environment. Lance was absolutely everything I could desire in a man, he was the best for me, won't go into details but he was the whole package…on top of that loving and committed relationship we shared….any way later I started looking for the best man for me again, I was absolutely sure I would find him. I searched on different websites, corresponded with several men and each of them had initial characteristics I wanted my future husband to have. I can tell you honestly that it is really nice to see not only one or two men who could suit you but tens and tens, it is really nice to see and realize that really here there is a choice, that you can make a good choice, that you can make the best choice for you among really good ones. Yes, I had that feeling, but I am not sure if this can be called ‘in a candy store’ in my situation. Also, second time I was AS picky as the first time, absolutely nothing changed in my way of searching second time in comparison to the first time. I stayed true to my beliefs and oh it was so hard sometimes not to slip… There were so many opportunities for me to start a relationship with a 45-55 y.o men who were the whole package personally plus I wouldn't know what the word ‘work’ means for the rest of my life and would now sunbathe somewhere in Florida or California…but I didn't do that, and I hope by now you understand why.

What percentage of RW do you think are truly happy with their American husbands.

Honestly I don't know. Do we have such statistics?
I am very happy. I was happy then and I am happy now. But I am more an exception.

This would be my advice to all the men here – don't fool yourself, be honest to yourself and stay true to your own beliefs, don't compromise your standards, try to be realistic and optimistic at the same time, search only for something that you yourself can equally give back to her. And the same goes for women.

And another thing that I thought I wouldn't mention but right now I think I can't help it. I would have absolutely failed to do everything I did in my life, including finding my two amazing husbands, without God and my faith, without praying every single night, without talking to Him and seeking the same answers. I don't have any idea how others do that standing in a complete dark and having nothing to lean on. How can you even decide at the end if she is the one or not, without God, without asking Him? How do people know what road to take when they are in front of 3 or 4 roads at once? How do you survive the moments when you have to brake up with a wrong person or when they brake up with you, or when the same USCIS puts sticks in your wheels to be together with your beloved, or when sickness strikes, or somebody dies, or…or….or…?

[USCFAN]

Yes, that's EXACTLY what I am trying to say...
Those men told that when I asked them why they had decided to look for their wife abroad ... But do you really think that it shows the best of you when you tell that you look from abroad because women in your country are fat?!

Any woman who has at least a little brain will understand that as soon as she comes to the USA and gets pregnant or gains a little weight because of other reasons  or has some disease you will simply leave her and will go to look for another one because you don't like fat bad-looking girls.

This reason given by you also shows you as a loser. Noone will believe that ALL women in your country are fat and ugly. So it means that for some reason you could't compare with other men who were able to get beautiful AW, so you are a loser who didn't want to "fight" and preferred to follow the line of least resistance and just to escape and look somewhere else.
Giving primitive emplanations like this you will probably attract primitive girls or scammers who aren't normally interested in your reasons and theories.

Thanks for insulting me Serebro ... especially since you (and several others who have posted in this thread) TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD the point I was trying to make 

My point wasn't about her weight ... IT IS THE ATTITUDE of the women here, especially those with weight problems. Maybe it is because of your limited English or understanding or it, but my comment was primarily aimed at the comment:

Geez, some guys need to get over the superficial need for a size 2!!!!


For your information, if I was in a happy, loving relationship, I would never consider leaving my wife because she put on a few pounds. For you to assume that I am that kind of person without meeting me or even talking with me shows a bit of immaturity on your part. Perhaps it would have been better to ask me what I was trying to say instead of attacking me and calling me a 'loser' ...

I never said ANYTHING about all the women in America being fat. There are many beautiful women in this country. However, most of the women in this country have developed a major selfish "me-first" attitude that makes them undesirable to me. 

My interest in RW/UW is based on many things that KenC posted in his comment comparing them to AW.

And since when did searching for a RW/UW become the "line of least resistance" ? Tell me anyone, did the laws just change overnight so that RW/UW can just come flooding into the USA?

For your information Serebro, the 'line of least resistance' would be to settle and date someone in my own area ... NOT spend thousands of dollars to travel half-way around the world on a chance of meeting someone special. The 'line of least resistance' in dating someone overseas would include dating someone from the EU, South America or the Far East where it is much easier to bring those ladies to the USA than from FSU countries.

I know I made a sharp comment toward you a couple of months ago on the board Serebro ... but I also took it back and apologized if you took it wrong. If your post here is just some kind of 'getting back at me' comment ... then so be it.

Man ... it's amazing how a thread can get a life of its own and go totally a different road then it was intended ...

[Makkin]

Hi,

  USC is a good "Joe" in my book and he's trying to be honest about things in my opinion.
  If he likes or dislikes fat women or bigger women then it's up to him ya?

  I understood what he meant and understand he's the sorta guy who is not out to hurt anyone.

Makkin

[USCFAN]

When I hear AM swear off AW I immediately think that something is wrong with the man. The country is just too big with 300 million people for "all" AW to be "bad". 

While I respect your right to that opinion, you haven't walked in my shoes nor have you had the 'dating' experiences I have had the last few years. After being constantly lied too, having women 'flake' out on you, women with hidden physiological issues or substance problems, etc ...

I'm not trying to 'stereotype' all AW ... I'm sure there are plenty of nice, decent and loving women around the country ... but I haven't found any. And much like the shortage of decent RM/UM that we always hear about, I feel there is a shortage of quality AW as well. I could search for 10 years before finding the right AW. But I don't feel like waiting that long. If the odds of finding the kind of women that I am looking for are greater somewhere other than the US, does it not make sense to go that route?

IMO ... America is the greatest country in the world to live in ... but the culture and society in this country in going down the toilet. The 'me-first', selfish, materialistic, superficial nature that permeates the 'air' here makes me so frustrated that it is enough to make me consider moving to another country.

[KenC]

USCFAN,
I think you are taking some posts here too personally.  Serebro and WmGo were addressing the many AW bashers that we have here, not necessarily you.  Hell even I make some jokes about AW when I really don't necessarily catagorize them all as undesirable.

Yes, threads do take on a life of their own.  This has been a very good one so far with a lot of valuable information being shared.  It may not have been totally on topic to your OP but thanks for starting it.
KenC

[AnastassiaAsh]

Oh, I so agree with you, USCFAN!

[timothe]

mspanky,
As I anxiously await Anastassia's answer to your good questions, I would like to make a few comments here.  I believe it all is a matter of the motivation for the marriage.  If the marriage is for anything other than love, the guy will always be at risk because there is always a richer, younger or more handsome man.  If you consider this, then spending the time to allow your love bloom completely becomes more of a practical matter, doesn't it?  I look at these quickie romances, quickie engagements and the rush to the alter as marriages of conveniences.  In those you get what you get, meaning you will not know what you really got until later.  Some (a few?) may develop into a true love bonding, but most will fall apart when something or someone more convenient comes along.  To me it is a case of pay now (spend the time and money to know for sure) or pay later (when she is walking out the door).
KenC

Excellent post, Ken! 

When I started this adventure 6 years ago, (still not married) I thought a good RW was the quick and easy answer to my lifelong relationship problems.  Boy, was I wrong.  There is no quick and easy answer for lifelong relationship problems.  It's taken me 6 years, at least $50,000, one job change, and one move halfway across the country for me to gain enough maturity just to find one woman I could trust.  And based on what I've read from the married couples, we've barely scratched the surface of learning about each other and won't for at least another few months. (years) Looking back, it seems like a lot of wasted time, but I guess I needed to grow up first.

This adventure is a whole lot more than finding a slim, feminine woman to rock your world and show off to your friends.  (At least, it has turned out that way for me.) If you go into this adventure with a general resentment and mistrust towards women, you will likely find resentment and mistrust will manifest itself in your relationship with an FSUW as well.    

[Serebro]

Maybe it is because of your limited English or understanding or it, but my comment was primarily aimed at the comment:

Geez, some guys need to get over the superficial need for a size 2!!!!

Aha, right,but
I guess it's because someone has a very limited amount of something... :cluebat:so he contacts girls with limited English and then complains that they misunderstand him.

[USCFAN]

I understand what you're saying KenC ... but Serebro called me a 'loser' twice and also 'primitive' ... she was taking shots at me.

I didn't feel that way with WmGo's post ... that's why I replied the way I did to him.

[USCFAN]

I guess it's because someone has a very limited amount of something... :cluebat:so he contacts girls with limited English and then complains that they misunderstand him.

Just wondering ... is this directed to me? Because I don't recall making any comments about 'contacting' women who don't understand English ...

[Serebro]

Just wondering ... is this directed to me? Because I don't recall making any comments about 'contacting' women who don't understand English ...

so you contact american women living in ukraine?!

[Serebro]

I understand what you're saying KenC ... but Serebro called me a 'loser' twice and also 'primitive' ... she was taking shots at me.

I didn't feel that way with WmGo's post ... that's why I replied the way I did to him.

I never called you a loser and primitive, I told you that if you write like this you will look like a loser and the explanation is primitive...who of us has limited English?!

[USCFAN]

I never called you a loser

This reason given by you also shows you as a loser.

Your right Serebro ... how could I have misunderstood your post   

[USCFAN]

so you contact american women living in ukraine?!

So no women living in Ukraine understand English? 

[Serebro]

So no women living in Ukraine understand English? 

why do you think they understand it differently than i do

[ISORW]

so you contact american women living in ukraine?!

Why does a woman in Ukraine have to be American to understand English?  My g/f was born and raised in Ukraine and she is fluent in English as is her best friend.

[ISORW]

why do you think they understand it differently than i do

Now you're making no sense at all...