Eager for advice.

[ma.keith]

First, I want to state that after reading so many posts, I understand the communities opinion on such sites as Globaladies.com.  However, please note that not only had I already bought "tokens" with them, but also began corresponding with a lady through their service before I found this board.

So, we have been corresponding for a couple of weeks now.  She always seems very interested in what I say, and asks questions that let me know she is interacting in the correspondence which is something I was mindful of in the first few emails.  I have really started to enjoy corresponding with her, and look forward to reading the letters she sends.  It is very nice.  Moving on.

The first response took a few days, which I expected.  However, the responses since then have been in my inbox the day after I send her a letter.  That alone has raised a few questions for me.  She is also younger, but realize that I am as well.  I am 25 and she is 20.  So I quietly shrug off the speed of her replies with the possibility of more free time as a result of her age.  However, I am not really as objective as I could be, so I pose this to the community.

I don't want to sound cheap, but paying to open a letter and then again to reply to one mounts fairly quickly.  If one is trying to carry on correspondence with a couple of different people at the same time, it can really mount exponentially.  Thus why I had an increased interest in correspondence outside of the agency.  I have read several posts saying to get their contact information, and soon, to avoid a variety of things.  Still of that opinion?  Two weeks a bit early to correspond outside of email through agency?

In my last letter, I suggested that we correspond through postal mail, and possibly talk over the phone.  While she was very eager for a phone call, she was a little reluctant about postal mail saying that two weeks was just too long to wait for a letter.  Again, I shrug that off as impatience of youth, which I am still guilty of as well, although to a lesser extent.  This I would also pose to the community.

Now, I plan to call her perhaps this weekend, probably tommorrow, and talking for a little while.  Should I wait until we can arrange a time, or is it normally acceptable to call within reasonable times?  I know if a local girl gave me her telephone number, it signified that I should just give her a call.  This is a new "ballfield" and I haven't ran across this question as of yet.  Perhaps overanalyzing, but throwing it out there.

I guess in short:

1 Young, has some free time, enthusiastic about correspondence -or- possible scam, watch for more flags: Be wary

2 Not too soon to ask for her number?  Don't want to come on like I am ready to be on a plane tommorrow, but wow I would prefer not to stay within the confines of the agency for too long.

3 Call now or wait until we can chose a time?

I really don't think I'm being scammed, but then I think to myself: How many posts on here have I read where the guy said: "No, I knew I was getting scammed, I just did it anyway."

I am really more concerned with sending the wrong message by asking for personal contact information so "early."  I don't want to come on too strong, and I don't want to sound cheap either.  I suppose the fact is that I would rather not pay that amount of money, but it is rather restrictive as well, and I like having options open.

The last one I am mixed on.  I would, of course, prefer to call her tommorrow morning (she is 6 hours ahead of me) since I think it will be a lot of fun to talk with her.  Again, worried about sending the wrong message here.

It's more that I normally know how things will be perceived when I make a decision, but because the culture is foreign to me, I am unsure on these things.

If anyone has advice, comments, suggestions...

Thanks!

[Serebro]

6 hours ahead?!Where is she from?!
Does she speak your language?!
I think it's fine to ask her for the telephone number, as I know many girls(including me ) hate writing letters...

[I/O]

Two weeks working within the the confines of a pay-per-letter agency is not long? :hairraising: Two minutes is too phriggen long IMO. Frankly, at her apparent age, I am surprised you need to ask for her phone number. I ain't no oil painting and when I was out laying my scent on the trees, I got more offers to talk by telephone than I could handle. Russian women will talk on the phone until the cows come home and then some. (Mine doesn't stop talking when she gets off the telephone BTW)

My wife would have to have been one of the most shy I communicated with in the early stages and even she picked up my phone number from my signature on emails and sent me an SMS to see if it would work. Thus handing me her phone number without being asked for it.

Let me put it this way, if she wants in with you, she will make it pretty clear from early on. OTOH, there certainly is ways and means of going about it, but if you don't ask for a f__k, you ain't never gunna get one by beating around the bush. In other words, stop pussy footing around and cut to the chase. If she is a real Russian woman, I can assure you, you will get direct answers to questions and you won't be left in much doubt.

Like most women, Russian women prefer to remain mysterious, but I smile a little, because IME Russian women are about the worst in the world at doing so. Natural directness over powers and you get an answer without waiting too long. Go figure.

I suggest you get hooked up with some on the ground assistance in Russia or wherever (Maybe an agent) and get yourself there for a short vacation with the option of meeting some women if possible. Russia is simply a mixture of theory and smoke and mirrors until you see for yourself and then it becomes a total vexation for the sane mind.

Bottom line is that if you are hoping to build enough with a few women using pay-per-letter then defer to emails in order to justify a trip to Russia, I wouldn't bother. It is a waste of time.

I/O

[Jumper]

if interested-
call her.

it's certainly not too soon..
and it's only a phone call afterall

if sh eis iunterested sh ewill be happy to haewr fro myou.. even if her ebnglidh is limited..
but her fluency in engklish, is an important point..
before the call!!!

(there are several three way/translater call services if you still wanted to call, if her english level is low)

anyway ,most any young RW interested ,will be more than happy to hear from you..
and if not ,she can easily make up some reason to end the call quickly..lol
you don thave much tolose,,

except to lose your ear ,if she decides to talk it off
(a real possibility)


as far as her answering email everyday..

you are worrying about little.IMHO

if you have written everyday for two weeks?
 you should know her job/general /situation school / or what have you ,by now?

does her life include being around a computer to email you daily?
many young RW would be able too,,some would not,
but if you know a bit about her you should be able to determine this somewhat easily)

we had met already,and had started our relationship-
but my wife could ,and did, email daily..as she sat at a computer all day with her job..
(but we both hated writing,and called pretty much everyday also)


your main problem is the business model of that service.
it is rife for abuse.


call,its more fun ,and useful, anyway.and you can get her direct contact info ..or direct email

if she isnt up for giving that info..
move along.

[ScottinCrimea]

I would get her address, not necessarily to write regularly, but as verification.  It also would allow you to send things like greeting cards now and then.  Also, if you have her address there are ways to check up on her if you have doubts as to whether she is real or just an agency girl.

The other thing you should do is have her direct e-mail address so you can communicate directly and not through the agency.  It would save a ton of money.  If she doesn't have a computer at home, it's still easier for her to go to a local internet cafe than to the agency to write to you and the cost in Ukraine is about 80 cents an hour.  I do wonder about the daily letters as if she is 20 years old she is either working or in school and it wouldn't be so easy for her to make the trip to the agency every day.  It's still way too early to know if she is real or just working for the agency, but you have some ideas now on how to find out before you get too involved either emotionally or financially.

[SANDRO43]

In my last letter, I suggested that we correspond through postal mail, and possibly talk over the phone.  While she was very eager for a phone call, she was a little reluctant about postal mail saying that two weeks was just too long to wait for a letter.

Ma.keith, it is reassuring that Global Ladies offer no phone-conference services, and that their "Learn More" should state:

Can a lady and I exchange postal addresses and phone numbers?
Absolutely, but please be aware that many of the ladies do not have their own phone. And, most do not speak English well enough for the phone. However, exchanging email addresses, website addresses and SMS is not allowed in the Globaladies email forwarding network. According to our policy the agencies, along with our automatic filtering, remove all email addresses, website addresses and SMS numbers. Without this policy there would be no Globaladies agency network.

Keep in mind, the majority of Russian and Ukrainian women participating in the Globaladies email forwarding service only have access to the internet through one of the agencies participating in the Globaladies network.

Before exchanging phone numbers and postal addresses, members located in the U.S. must first comply with the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act (IMBRA) by completing the IMBRA Compliance form. 

Therefore, it would appear as if your girl's reaction is genuine, and she's not actually agency staff trying to further milk you .

Now, I plan to call her perhaps this weekend, probably tommorrow, and talking for a little while. Should I wait until we can arrange a time, or is it normally acceptable to call within reasonable times? 

Regardless of where a girl resides, IMO it would be courtesy to ask her what times would be convenient for your FIRST call.

[ScottinCrimea]

I found it interesting that they claim that many of the ladies don't have their own phone.  In all my time in Ukraine I never met any lady (other than the babushkas) who didn't have their own phone. 
This is obviously a lie meant to encourage calls through them.   They also claim that the majority only have access to the internet through their agency.  Again, this is a lie as there are internet cafes on practically every corner.  Bottom line seems to be that they want you to call through them so they can either charge you for the call and interpretation or so you can be routed to one of their agency girls pretending to be the one you are supposedly writing to.  They have no problem providing a postal address, but I suspect this is not hers and that it would be rerouted through them so that they can preview and censor things and then charge you for the favor.  I think if he calls her on the phone and asks for her e-mail address, if she is sincere she will provide it.  The only way that the agency would know about this is if she tells them or if she is indeed one of their girls.

My gut impression is that this is an agency girl.  The question is how much it will cost him to find out?

[SANDRO43]

This is obviously a lie meant to encourage calls through them. 

Scott, as I said in my previous post, I don't see phone conferences listed among their services, otherwise I would have drawn your same conclusions .

[ScottinCrimea]

Good point Sandro, but how else can he talk to her if her English is limited other than using an interpreter?  If they provide the phone number, how does he know that it's not just a girl working for the agency who is paid to take these calls, as someone here mentioned before is a common practice?  There are just too many ways that they can control things so that one spends the maximum amount of money with the minimum means of knowing who one is actually communicationg with.

[BillyB]

ma.keith, it is possible you've been trading love letters with Igor, the employee of the month, for the past few weeks. Very rarely can a woman write letters to you everyday. But under certain circumstances, the agency does call the woman to relay what you written to her and types what she wants to write back. If by small chance they're doing that, then she has a phone! Now get on the phone often and get away from that token system. Also based on your conversations with her, you will know if she knows what you've written to her and what she, supposedly written to you otherwise your first phone call will be to a total stranger.

After you get on the phone with her, you could tell her to get a free @mail.ru email account if you want to continue to write letters but don't be surprised if she can't write you everyday as you may have thought.

If you don't get a phone number, move on to another agency. And next time focus on more than one woman. The odds of you marrying this one woman you're communicating with now is like 100 to 1. She's probably got 50 other suitors lined up since she's a youthful 20 yo.

[thedub]

ma.keith, it is possible you've been trading love letters with Igor, the employee of the month, for the past few weeks.

Mike -

In case you didn't understand what BillyB meant by that, it's this: There's a good chance that an RW you communicate with at a conglomerate agency like GlobalLadies or Anastasia International is actually not the woman whose picture you are looking at. Rather, it could be an employee of the agency who is reading and answering your letters. If that were the case, the letters you get from "her" would actually seem personal (i.e. they would respond to your questions). But the bottom line is that at a pay-per-letter agency it is apparently quite common for the agency's employees to answer both your letters and even your phone calls!

I don't know if you understood that. I just learned it myself a couple weeks ago. Here's a link to a thread which may explain some of how/why this happens.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=5948.0

Just trying to clarify what BillyB meant in his reply & wasn't sure if you understood what he was referencing.

[rose]

I also would suggest to give her all your information, because she also doesn't know if you are for real (don't give her your credit card number ). But i would suggest to call her spontaneously, because if you arrange the time and this is a scam they'll have time to prepare. And ask her for her address, you can send her flowers to check her address. What about chat with camera? It also might help with establishing if her identity is real.


P.S.I wonder if I should open phone translation services as a job on a side...

[SANDRO43]

P.S.I wonder if I should open phone translation services as a job on a side...

Rose, if you decide to enter into Anastassya's and two other ladies' type of business, don't forget to post your contact info here: http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/mwiki/index.php?title=Translators .

[ma.keith]

So many awesome replies.  I think all the bases have been hit. 

I did try to call, although no answer.  I wasn't so disappointed, I agree that it wouldn't be very courteous to randomly call, even if it is for my own personal "verification".  I'll just see what this week brings.  Maybe I will soon get to give you all a story of my wonderful 10 minute chat with Igor, and how he has been these past few weeks.   

[Simoni]

ma.keith,
I'd move on to a different agency or method if I were you.  I'll send you a personal message to explain why...

~Si

[ScottinCrimea]

No answer?  Why would she turn off her personal phone?  It seems that the agency was closed for the night.

[I/O]

No answer?  Why would she turn off her personal phone?  It seems that the agency was closed for the night.

EggZackly...!!!!

I/O

[Simoni]

EggZackly...!!!!

LOL

[carraig]

MA
Try and get her adress! send her 11 roses (more if your loaded ) and put your mobile phone number complete with international dialling code on the delivery card! Put SMS me and a X! itworked for me, got a SMS from Ola within hours!