Solo trip, need advice plz???

[Koluji Ezhik]

Hi all, I have been lurking on this site for quite some time. I have been in a relationship with an amazing Russian girl for about a year now. She lived in the USA for almost two and a half years. I met her in the last 4 months of her time in this country. She speaks good english. She is incredibly beautiful, and a very intelligent, and sophisticated young woman. She got in some trouble with Homeland Security agents. They were actually looking for her friend, and she got caught her illegally when they busted down her door looking for this other girl that was a criminal. She was ordered to leave the country. She left in January of 2007, and we have remained in contact through the internet, and telephone. I care for her very much, and I trust her. Just recently I came into some money, and I have the time and resources to make the trip to Russia to visit her. She is still completing her studies at the university there, but in December she will have an apartment of her own. She is from a very good family, and her family seems to be what I figure to be upper middle class, if there is such a thing. Long story short, I want to go to Kaliningrad to visit her. After some reading, I have discovered that it is quite a bit more than getting a plane ticket and just getting on the plane. Also I do not have a passport, nor have I ever held a US passport. I would like to go in a little over a month from now, and stay for 7-10 days.

In order to get a rushed passport I see that I need to show that I have a plane ticket already, and an itenirary. I don't want to buy a ticket though, and then not be able to go for some reason. As I see it there are 2 ways to proceed. I can try to do it myself or use a travel aganet. Does anyone have advice for me?? Should I even attempt to do this on my own, or just go ahead and do it all through a travel agent?

I can buy a ticket over the internet, and then apply for a rushed passport using an online service. Then apply for a visa. My girl said I should stay at her apartment, and come on a personal invite visa. I have read that one can encounter more problems wih this type of visa. Is it better to go on a regular tourist visa? I would love to stay with her at her apt, but I dont want problems with the visa, or with govt officials when I get there. I have also read that I will need some shots from my doctor before I go, and also some special traveler's health insurance/life insurance??? Is this really necessary?? My primary concern is the speed with which I need to prepare for this trip, and having the least amount of problems when I get to Russia. Money is not a big deal. It would be great to save a buck here or there, but I am willing, and would rather pay a little more to make sure that everything goes smooth, and quickly enough that I can go in mid-December.Any recommendations of services of web sites that I could use would be great. hell, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! 
-KJ

[BillyB]

Welcome Koluji,

I don't remember needing any shots or special insurance before my three trips to Russia.

If you're thinking about a relationship with this woman, make sure you understand how long it may take before she's allowed to come back into the US considering she's been kicked out. Sombody here may know the answer. Also make sure she's not trying to use you as a mule to get back to the US.

I think a tourist visa is what you need to see her. If you stay at her apartment, you will still need to register your visa within 3 days of your arrival. Your girl would probably understand that she needs to go to a local hotel and bribe someone there to get you registered. Anybody know of a different way to get registered?

Koluji, even though you have acquired money to go and visit her, you must understand this is an expensive process and you will need even more money to get her back to America.

[I/O]

hell, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! 
-KJ

Based on what I read above, STAY HOME..!! Or at very least take your phriggen time. What is the big rush? Do you want to beat all the other guys to her doorstep or what? Get your passport, get your plan in place, THEN think about buying tickets and so forth. Going the way you are, you are gunna get BBQ'd at every step of the way. Pour some ice water on the little head and start thinkin' with the big one.

What do you hope to achieve out of this if she ahs been kicked out of the country once already. You have very limited if any chance of getting her back in again. Sorry, but I have my doubts if you have ever met this girl. This sounds like a very "Pro Forma" story that circles around the dating sites. At very best, it appears you could be being set up as a visa mule. I'd do some serious thinking if I were you AND be honest with yourself.

Reality check time.

I/O

[Mir]

Why is everyone so concerned that he may not be able to get her back into US?
He can decide to live with her in Russia, infact he should discus this with her and see what hapens

[acrzybear]

She might not have been "kicked out", if she did nothing criminal then the Agents probably just did a voluntary deportation (less paperwork) and she would be allowed to reenter legally after some period of time (less time then if she had been forcibly deported).   Perhaps William III would know the details.

[Sculler]

Koluji -

I will have to echo I?O here. SLOW DOWN! I can understand the feeling that you need to rush. I did 2 solo trips this year. The first one I planned over many months. The second I planned in about a month. First, without a passport, you can't do anything except get plane tickets. To plan anything in Russia requires a passport number (train tickets, hotel room, etc). You can get a visa in a day or two, if you know what you are doing and are willing to pay the higher fees. Generally a tourist visa will take you 2 weeks from starting all the paperwork, getting the invitation (I recommend you get one from a service rather than a personal invitation only because I have yet to try that process. You can get one from the internet in about 1 day for about $30), photos, copies, and dealing with the local consulate. Russians are all about proper procedures and don't try to change that. Since you have someone there to take care of yo  once you arrive, that will save a lot of time, but to repeat one of he "rules" of RW dating, have a backup plan in case the trip heads south. In other words, you should plan to stay in a hotel or apartment when you are there. You don't have to stay there, but you should have it ready in case you need to get out of her apartment. My last trip I rented an apartment for my stay, but only stayed there about half of my trip. The other half was at her place with her cats, Mama, and Babushka (the other reason for having a place was so we could be alone at times). Also I would recommend you plan you trip for late December and January. This is the big Russian holiday period, though it will make traveling around more difficult since many Russians will also be traveling. But it may give you more time with your friend. That will give you time to get an expedited passport and then the visa (those are consecutive processes, not parallel ones), as well as time to talk with her on the phone prior to your trip.

But this is all moot if indeed she was deported for a visa violation and you are not willing to move to Europe or some other location to be with her if it works out between the two of you. That you will need to decide for yourself.

And my final bit of advice, read The Amber Room before you go. It has some very interesting history about that area and its role in Russian history.

Good luck.

1x

[Muj]

Welcome to the board Koluji

Actually sounds like a good trip for the holidays, I visited Moscow over Thanksgiving and enjoyed the trip immensely. 
I had no hotel but provided a name for the visa.  I found the hotels will not provide reservations for stays less than a month in advance.
A backup of hotel names and English speaking flat owners is a good idea.  Make sure you bring an unlocked cell phone so you may insert a Russian SIM chip, $5.
Can be cold and snowing for November.
Good luck!

[William3rd]

Sounds like- maybe she got voluntary departure and was able to leave on her own. If so, then what visa was she here under? If F 1, then we need to look at how long they decided she was out of status. If b1/b2, then we need to look at how she left and she may be under the bar on return.

Your girl will need an immigration lawyer as part of her process if you hit it off and decide to bring her. She will probably need a waiver done and at the very least a FOIA just to start verifying what happened.

My advice- go see her. IF things click, then come back and talk to a lawyer who does immigration work and get the ball rolling. I expect a case that will last well beyond a year. Additional paperwork review might fine-tune that estimate.

[Koluji Ezhik]

Thanks sooo much to you all for the advice. I appreciate the caution that some of you express. I have been very fascinated by Russian culture, and wanted to visit the country for many years. I am very good friends with this girl, and I have remained friends with her for friends that have stayed behind in America. There is a very big Russian community in the city where I live. I have many other Russian friends both guys, and girls. I would not say that I am foolish when it comes to dealing with Russian people. That said, I am cautious when it comes to trusting them, even my closest friend, this girl Luska, whom I am going to visit. I have in fact found Russian people to be some of the best friends that I have. When you get to know them they are very genuine, and have a very practical view of the world.  They most certainly enjoy life to the very fullest.  Many of my American friends seem to be phony, and boring when compared to my Russian friends.
I am not rushing into this trip aside from needing to get my passport quickly, and visa. It seems like this will only cost me a few extra hundred dollars to get these things done faster. I begin work full time, and graduate school in the evenings starting January 4th, so if I don't go now, I wont have the chance to go again until Summer. If this trip goes well, I would like to go again in the Summer. I have a very long term view of this relationship. She has one more year of school after this year. Her family, and I as well want her to finish her studies, and graduate. I don't know if I will marry her, I am trying to take things one step at a time.  The next step is for me to go to Russia, and visit her. I miss her very much and want to see her, meet her family, and see what it is like over there. Based on the advice here I think that I will buy my ticket, and then make arrangements to get a passport and visa done quickly.

I have some other questions raised based on the comments made here. Lets jump ahead a year and a half. Say that everything goes well, and our relationship continues. Say I do decide to marry this girl, and would like to bring her back to the USA. What am I really in for? Living in Russia or Europe would be not really an option, because I have one child from my previous marriage to an American woman. I need to be close to my child. I will give more details about Luska's deportation so that you might be able to tell me if it will be possible to bring her here. She was here on a J-1 summer student work visa. After that 3 month visa expired, she was here illegally I assume. She had an immigration lawyer, and she was applying for a tourist visa, She had a letter from her lawyer stating that her visa request was under review, and pending a decision. As she explained it to me she was here somewhere in between legal, and illegal status. I am smart enough to know that that means she was here illegally. For two years she was able to work and make very good money while she was here. She was never charged with a crime, but she was taken into custody by Homeland Security when they came to her apartment looking for another girl. They took her passport from her, and tore up the letter from her lawyer when she showed it to them. Within 1 hour she was in a orange jumpsuit shackled at the hands, waist, and feet to a bunch of women from Ghana, being put on a plane to Miami for deportation. Our friend, an American woman, paid $10,000 to a bondsman to bail her out, and they took her off of the plane at the last second. She was given a trial date, and released without her passport. It took about 3 months before her trial. I met her in this period of time. I felt that I could trust her because she was resigned to the fact that she couldn't stay in America. We were very close friends, and I never felt like she was tricking me or trying to have a relationship for a green card, because that wasn't possible. The judge told her that she was to leave the USA by volutary  deportation. She was given her passport back by showing a plane ticket that she was leaving within 2 weeks of the date that they gave passport back. From what she told me they said she couldn't return to the USA for 10 years. The only condition that she could return prior to that would be if she came on a K-1 marriage visa. She went back to Russia in January of 2007. She had to go to embassy in Moscow, and have government officials stamp her passport, and send a letter back to Homeland Sec confirming her return to Russia. This was necessary for our friend to get her $10K in bail money returned. Luska did this, and our friend got her money back. Based on this information, I am very curious as to what you all would have to say, and what further counsel you could provide me. Thanks again for you help, and interest in this matter. I greatly appreciate the knowledge, and experience of you kind people.
-KJ

[Koluji Ezhik]

BTW,I posted a pic of this girl in the misc. pics section. As you will see she is very beautiful. Hanging on the wall behind her you can see a portrait that i drew of her with her in black and white with a red coat on.

[Simoni]

She is very cute.  I can see why you like her :-)

Good artwork, too.

[BillyB]

From what she told me they said she couldn't return to the USA for 10 years. The only condition that she could return prior to that would be if she came on a K-1 marriage visa.

Sounds to me you're the quick ticket back to America. Be honest with yourself, would she be interested in a guy like you if she wasn't getting kicked out of America? To her credit, she did do the necessary procedures to get the bail money returned.

[William3rd]

She was here on a J-1 summer student work visa. After that 3 month visa expired, she was here illegally I assume. She had an immigration lawyer, and she was applying for a tourist visa (THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE IF HER STAY HAD EXPIRED AND A CONVERSION TO B STATUS IS ONLY A SHORT TERM SOLUTION. 2 AND A HALF YEARS LATER ??????) , She had a letter from her lawyer ( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- WHO IS THAT LETTER SUPPOSED TO FOOL? BESIDES, A COPY OF THE RECEIPT NOTICE WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD.)stating that her visa request was under review( NOT UNDER REVIEW-DENIED), and pending a decision.

As she explained it to me she was here somewhere in between legal, and illegal status. I am smart enough to know that that means she was here illegally. For two years she was able to work (NOT IF SHE WAS ILLEGAL) and make very good money (UHHH-WHAT EXACTLY WAS SHE DOING?)while she was here. She was never charged with a crime, but she was taken into custody by Homeland Security (BECAUSE SHE WAS OUT OF STATUS ALL ALONG AND WHEN THEY RAN THAT NUMBER THROUGH THE COMPUTER, THERE WAS NO DOUBT)when they came to her apartment looking for another girl (ILLEGAL ALIENS HAVE A HABIT OF DOING THAT-MUST BE A HERD THING OR MAYBE THEY MARK THEIR TERRITORY). They took her passport from her, and tore up (AMID GREAT PEALS OF LAUGHTER) the letter from her lawyer when she showed it to them. Within 1 hour she was in a orange jumpsuit shackled at the hands, waist, and feet to a bunch of women from Ghana, being put on a plane (NOT THE REGULAR PROCEDURE-SHE IS DETAINED LOCALLY TO SEE A JUDGE TO SET A BOND, WHICH IS A PROCESS MEASURED IN DAYS) to Miami for deportation. Our friend, an American woman, paid $10,000 (HIGH BOND FOR A MERE OVERSTAY) to a bondsman to bail her out, and they took her off of the plane at the last second. She was given a trial date, and released without her passport. It took about 3 months before her trial. I met her in this period of time. I felt that I could trust her because she was resigned to the fact that she couldn't stay in America( BUT IF SHE HAD MARRIED WHILE OUT ON BOND, SHE COULD HAVE STAYED). We were very close friends, and I never felt like she was tricking me or trying to have a relationship for a green card, because that wasn't possible. The judge told her that she was to leave the USA by volutary (VOLUNTARY DEPARTURE) deportation. She was given her passport back by showing a plane ticket that she was leaving within 2 weeks of the date that they gave passport back(OTHERWISE, THEY WOULD HAVE "BAG AND BAGGAGED" HER). From what she told me they said she couldn't return to the USA for 10 years. The only condition that she could return prior to that would be if she came on a K-1 (OR) A marriage visa (STILL NEEDS A WAIVER). She went back to Russia in January of 2007. She had to go to embassy in Moscow, and have government officials stamp her passport, and send a letter back to Homeland Sec (YEP)confirming her return to Russia. This was necessary for our friend (YEP)to get her $10K in bail money returned.

Based on this information, I am very curious as to what you all would have to say, and what further counsel you could provide me. Thanks again for you help, and interest in this matter. I greatly appreciate the knowledge, and experience of you kind people.
-KJ

There is only one responsible piece of advice that can be given. Hire an immigration attorney. He/she will do a FOIA and proceed in the right direction based on the information and documents that he gets from your GF and the government. 

[Sculler]

Koluji,

It looks like there is hope here. I think it wise to take it slow to make sure she won't use you to get her marriage visa (did you mean K-3 which is the spousal visa or K-1 which is the fiance visa) which is her loophole. But if it works out between you, that is your ticket to bring her home. Looking ahead, I think you will enjoy a marriage in Russia. They are quite different from what we have here. I was looking forward to one, but it looks like for me it is better to pursue the fiance visa and get married here. I think I will plan a Russian style marriage where we travel around the city to celebrate. But I digress. One thing I forgot to address earlier is the travel insurance. Unless you current mediacal insurance will cover you in Russia, I recommend getting it. It isn't very expensive and you will be required to list your insurance coverage on your visa application. Also, I was never asked to provide evidence of immunizations to go to Russia. Since you have a pre-existing interest in Russia (as I did), I would also recommend reading some historical background before your trip. The Amber Room is good for Kaliningrad, but for general Russian history, I am currently reading A History Of Russia. It is not to long (330 pgs) and can give you a good brief overview of the Russian charactor through their history. My recommendation, FWITW, is go visit her in Kaliningrad, then next summer travel with her to Moscow, St. Petersburg, and maybe elswhere in Russia, if you have that interest (Ekaterinburg, Kazan, etc). And learn some Russian. That is the best way to impress people and open doors to the Russian character. It is difficult, but worth the time, especially if things work out between you and Luska.

Good luck.

1x

[I/O]

Suit fittings now available in Kaliningrad. Mule suits that is..............

I/O

[Koluji Ezhik]

Thanks. I have read about the Amber Room. Lucy told me all about it. She also gave me some cool pieces of amber that she picked up on the beaches of the Baltic Sea. Also K-grad is the birth place of Emanuel Kant, and I have been reading up on his life, and his writings. very fascinating stuff. I have learned some Russian language from my other Russian friends, and I would like to learn more.

I would liketo respond to what Bill wrote....

Sounds to me you're the quick ticket back to America. Be honest with yourself, would she be interested in a guy like you if she wasn't getting kicked out of America? To her credit, she did do the necessary procedures to get the bail money returned.

To be honest you seem very negative and jaded, my friend. I don't want to start a fight with you. I appreciate all aspects of this discussion, but let me respond. To be honest about myself. I am a good looking guy with a good education, and career. I am a very nice person, and treat a woman like a lady. I am close to her in age, and we have many similar intrests, and enjoy spending time together immensely. This might be the reason that she likes me. She had guys lined up to marry her for just a green card. Trust me on that, I saw it first hand. I think I have a much better basis for trust with her than some woman I would meet on a Brides R-Us tour of Russia. To her credit she is a intelligent warm and wonderful person. She went to great lengths to make sure our friend got her money back. She had to go to Moscow 3 times on 20+ hour train ride to resolve that issue. She is such a good person this woman who only knew her for 1 year was willing to put up $10,000 in a hour's time to help her. I don't know of a person  outside of my immediate family that would help me like that. What if this whole thing is an elaborate trap just to get me to help her get a green card? I guess that I could live my whole life thinking like that, but that sucks. I would have a pre-nup at least for the first five years of marriage to protect myself. I'm sure of this... she can't do half the damage to me that this American woman I was married to before did to me. She made my life a living hell, took my house, my child, and just about everything else that I had. I loved and trusted her, and she tried to ruin me. Playing me out for a green card wouldn't be the worst thing ever, I have already been through the worst, as I see it. I am ready to take a leap of faith, and hope for the best. Go to Russia, and see if we still have that magical feeling I felt every second I was together with this sweet girl. Where American girls have such expectations of this and that, and they all seem like they are in a contest to have more than the girl next door. This girl lifted me up so high, and made me feel like a true man. She appreciates the smallest things, and lives her life in such a practical and satisfied way. For me it is worth taking a little risk, and at this point I have so little to lose. Like I originally said, I am going at this one step at a time. I appreciate the advice, and will keep coming back here for more help, and support. In the future I will post about my trip, and we will see how things work out.

[BillyB]

Koluji, my response to you has nothing to do with being negative. You already made up your mind about the RW and nothing negative here will change your mind but we can give you something to think about. Sometimes us guys need a wakeup call. You even admitted making a bad mistake marrying a woman who cleaned you out. You, like everybody else, are capable of making bad decisions. Surely you brought up the RW's immigration issue because you are still trying to figure out her sincerity? We answered. Now you're defending her integrity. Go see her, leave your emotions at home, see if she values you as you say she does and introduces you to her parents and friends, if not, say goodbye.

[av8or1]

Boy this one seems pretty clear, this guy is being mislead by the heart and perhaps the little head downstairs.  Any objective evaluation of the situation would necessarily result in self-explusion from the relationship.  I mean finding the closest door out of the room and running through it.  Quickly.  It appears that he doesn't want to listen to that however, sadly.  Koluji, when you respond to the very men who you asked for advice with accusations of being "jaded" and such, I think you really need to take a close look in the mirror.  You're clearly operating on emotion and the description of your planning for a trip to see her illustrates that.  I ask you respectfully to wake up before it's too late.  As for us, I haven't seen any "jaded" behavior or language in the responses to your original post.  On the contrary, we're experienced.  We've known the type of people you've described as "genuine" but unfortunately that usually just isn't the case.  It is my conclusion based on the information you have provided that with respect to the issue of a person being "genuine", to use the vernacular, "she ain't it."

And your argument of someone putting up $10,000 to keep her in-country actually suffices to make the counter-point to her being a "good person."  THINK about it.  If she really was a "good person", she would have told that woman to forget the bond, that she would go back to Russia and try to come back again if it was meant to be.  And if not, then she would make a life in Russia, her native country.  THAT is what a "good person" would have done.  'Course a truly "good person" would NOT have remained in any country ILLEGALLY after their permission to stay in that country had expired, but I digress.  You're probably too blinded by emotion to fully appreciate that argument anyway.  Hopefully you'll be able to see that the $10K thing is not only meangingless but contradictory to noble behavior.

And all those other folk vouching for her character and stuff?  Come on, see the light, and not through those big, humongous, reality-distorting sunglasses but for life as it is.  Look for answers to her character through HER and more importantly her ACTIONS.  I have known many people who vouch for others of questionable character simply because of emotional or familial ties.  I mean, would anyone who is honorable and "genuine" actually shack-up with a known "criminal", as you have described her fellow ex-pat?  I sure in hell wouldn't, even if it meant I slept in a shelter.  But I digress, the more I talk, the more I say the same thing and perhaps you've quit listening anyway, since our viewpoint here doesn't agree with yours.

My personal advice could be summed up by Tom Berenger's character in "Platoon" during one of the opening scenes when a guy has had his leg shot clean off and is lying there screaming, rife with pain and agony.  "Take the pain!  Take the pain!"  My additional instruction would be to remain resolute to that decision (no relapses, especially if she does any begging or pleading) and finding someone new.  Funny how that guy-with-a-blown-off-leg thing could (and probably would) be quite applicable in this situation...hmmmmmm.

"It ain't right, babe" ... have the courage, strength and boldness to just let it go.

Good luck,

Jerry

[I/O]

I would suggest the author of this thread takes a long reality check as to what actual evidence he has, other than her word, that ANY or any part of her story of expulsion is accurate.

One of the RWD resident lawyers has cast doubts on the $10 000 and I would be very much inclind to listen to him. Legal advice free of charge is something William has nothing to gain from. American generousity exampled. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

This is a classic mule suit fitting if ever I saw one, but as we know some people GET it and some people get IT. Listen up Lover Boy, ya got a host of developing issues here that will make your version of "The Worst" seem like a Sunday picnic.

I/O

[acrzybear]

I/O
 Are you saying she might be a mule skinner?

Noun 1. mule skinner - a worker who drives mules (not sure if you folks called it something else down under)

[SANDRO43]

Are you saying she might be a mule skinner ?

Simple to verify, sing her this and watch her reaction

[Simoni]

To be honest about myself. I am a good looking guy with a good education, and career. I am a very nice person, and treat a woman like a lady.

This is not a positive, Koluiji.  Rather, you are the perfect "find" for a scammer.

Rather than react with anger at those who suggest you proceed with caution, you should follow their advice.  Many of us here have been in your shoes.  Why not learn from our experiences, rather than repeat them?

[Mir]

Proceed with caution is good.
Still he is a young man with time on his side. He has come across a bundle of cash and he wants to travel to Russia to meet a girl he finds attractive.
I don't see why he should not do this. What is life without a bit of adventure and risk?

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.”

Brittany Renée

[William3rd]

K1 or IR will work. Treated the "same" although one is a higher category than another. WAIVER IS REQUIRED for her return.

[I/O]

I/O
 Are you saying she might be a mule skinner?

Noun 1. mule skinner - a worker who drives mules (not sure if you folks called it something else down under)

ACB: Mules were never much part of our working history down here, although there was a few (I think) in the early mining days. I have heard the term you speak of and it seems appropriate.

I grew up in the bush (Rural Australia) and I learned to smell bullschit from a fair distance. I would be happy to be proved wrong but I doubt I will be as this one has a fairly strong aroma of bovine excreta attached to it as her story reads thus far. Nevertheless, the gentleman seems bent on his course so the best of luck to him because he sure as hell is gunna need it. It's a pretty fair bet that he will get stitched up like a sack of corn. Time will show.

If JB happens to read this thread, your talents are needed here as you are far better with words in this type of situation than I am.

I/O