Is this a good idea?

[Nando]

But I don't for one moment assume that my (our) lifestyle and consumer level will satisfy many on this board.  As soon as someone mentions the words 'yacht' and 'Caribbean' in the same paragraph, I lose interest.  That is precisely why it is unwise for strangers to cost each others spending requirements too precisely, though indeed behoven on us 'experienced' ones to give reality checks were necessary.

Right on target 55North. We need to search someone who share the same lifestyle and not trying to lure "high end" Russian models to whom 100K a year is pocket money.

And Gator you can rent a very good apartment for 50$ a day in Ukraine if you go to a provincial city. That is how much I am going to spend in my next trip to Ukraine

[55North]

....or in my case, a very cosy cottage in Kislovodsk for $12/day last August, reduced to $8 at Christmas, as the owners now consider us as 'theirs'.
 
They keep cooking food and bringing it across to us!

[timothe]

....or in my case, a very cosy cottage in Kislovodsk for $12/day last August, reduced to $8 at Christmas, as the owners now consider us as 'theirs'.
 
They keep cooking food and bringing it across to us!

Kislovodsk is my favorite city in Russia and 2nd place isn't close!!! (despite the need for heightened security these days)

I spent $4k on my last trip, but have averaged 3k in previous trips.  I do these trips pretty cheaply in that I never used an agency for dates, accomodation, transportation, etc.  Assuming that you need to make multiple trips just to find someone, that's 15k to 20k right there.  (from the US for 5 trips)

I paid for driving lessons and English lessons in Russia for my lady and her daughter...another 1k.  I must pay for her documents, my documents, and her interview in Moskva including accomodation and transportation...another 2k.  Then it's another 2k to get them here.  So now we're at 20 to 25k.  And they aren't here yet. 

I've never been married, so I plan on having a small but nice wedding in Chicago.  I don't even know how much that's going to cost, but I'm figuring 5k easy, especially since we must travel to Chicago from Dallas.  Then there's all the stuff JB talked about.  (dentist, wardrobe, car, food)*2.  Oh, and I'm guessing she's going to want things for the home once she gets here as well.

Maybe 80k to 120k is an exaggeration, but not by much.  50k to 70k is what I'm going to end up spending.   

[Gator]

Timothe, excellent accounting, and you are being careful, not "splashing" cash.

Maybe some of you can pull this off on teacher's pay.  Similarly, there have been many successful businesses started on a shoestring.  Yet, the number one reason for business failure is undercapitalization.  I rather see a man enter this endeavor with a comfortable amount of reserves rather than come up short midway into it and be forced into a desperate decision.

BTW, I doubt that our opinions about $$$ affected JamesTee.  He came here, had his preconceived strategy fixed in his head, and left when we did not cheer him.  Do you think a man not interested in learning from experienced men will do well in the FSU?  Do you think a man who lashes out at someone trying to help him will be compatible with RW?  I believe there are far, far more men going to the FSU with James Tee's attitude than not.   So men, educate yourselves here, and have an advantage over the rest.

[Freedom]

Worse yet, those girls may drug you and then rape you. It is our duty to warn and protect James from these acts of crime!

James, unless you're going to post a photo of yourself, nobody is going to believe you that you look as you say you look. If you like younger women period, that would be a more honest answer than saying you look younger so that's why you need to search younger women.

Most of those teen girls who give you special attention are doing it because you're in a position of authority being a teacher. If you were just another guy on the street, they may not even look at you twice.

85% of the men in this forum who is married or engaged has women 10 years or more younger than themselves. You're not the only one who thinks youth in women is beautiful. But remember, youth doesn't last forever and you need find something about a woman that you can respect and love forever.

A  M  E  N        I like people with brain. Cant help it^^

[Turboguy]

I think it is far better to enter this endeavor with enough money to carry it through but I  think there is so much variance in how much things cost that no one can say what it will cost for someone else.   

I will agree that in smaller cities $ 40-50 may cover an apartment.  Moscow is getting tough to keep under $ 150 now.   I used to stay there for $ 65.00

Weddings can vary so much no one can give another a firm estimate on that either.  Cheapest thing for some might be to fly to Reno or Vegas and hopefully life with a RW is enough of a gamble that they will stay away from the tables.

VWRW is one of the few people who is more careful with money than I am.   I was just washing windows while she was sewing up some curtains.   She wanted me to use newspapers instead of paper towels to dry the windows and said they would do the same thing.  When she does use paper towels at first she was splitting the layers of a two layer paper towel to make them go further.  Now she just tears off exactly what she needs which to be honest is sorta what I always did as well.  When we do marry I am projecting our wedding with 40-50 guests to cost about $ 2000.00.  One of the last weddings I attended was about a quarter million or so.

Since VWRW arrived I doubt that I have spent an extra $ 100.00 a week.  She says, don't worry.  When she gets ready to start her education that won't last.

[55North]

Timothe, yes, Kislovodsk is my favourite city too, but I must admit I have only also been to Pyatigorsk  (that's the next town, folks).  Sheremetyevo ain't a city, quite.
 
But I know enough to know I've struck lucky first time, in town and woman. My costs, projected and anticipated, are way below yours.  Apart from travel costs, I guess we shop and eat in the same places.  There's the drinking sessions with 'acquaintances' from the Narzan Bottling plant, the day trips to Elbrus and Dombai, possibly Nalchik.  If we had gone to Sochi, that would have been noticed.
 
Generally, my out-of-pocket costs for 2 are more than covered by my own home budget for one, so the extras at Christmas are also subliminally budgeted for.

Alla's a widow and I was once married for a bit about 20 years ago, so ostentatious weddings are out.  (I am privately appalled by the UK trend towards $ 20,000 weddings for ordinary folk apeing celebrities.  If that is western culture, I'm disgusted with my inheritance).
 
We are both of an age, where lifestyle is settled, no family to be created or catered for, compatibility being sought, rather than the prospect of change.
 
In any case, opportunities for professional advancement for both of us are effectively nil.  Best for the 2 of us to get the work / life balance right by stepping aside from the rat-race, both taking part-time employment, and doing what we like best, just being together, much of it travelling.

An important budget difference between the Uk and the US is of course health care,  the UK generally being world class, but free at the point of provision!  Also, basic dentistry is low cost. ( I know, Russia and Britain, former world leaders in idiosyncratic dentistry  )

[BillyB]

 My post was in the context of the reputation that Americans seem to have gauged on comments from FSU girls I have met and agency owners.  Given the seemingly high amounts that are quoted as needed then I wondered if there was any truth behind it?  Like I said, I didn't know.

Paul, your "American's slash cash" comment may not be far off the mark. I have heard many American's going to the FSU buying women such things as apartments in hopes they get affection in return. It was not too long ago an American man mentioned European men were stingy/greedy and some European men got defensive in the thread. It probably depends on which side of the fence you're looking at the situation and nobody is really wrong. It's a safe bet to say American men recklessly throw money around in comparison to more stingy/greedy European men. The ideal way to spend money on a woman you're courting could be somewhere in the middle so the woman doesn't think you stupid with your money buying love but you're not so greedy since you're willing to share/spend some of your money for a potential life partner.

[FSUrookie]

Interesting thread, many good posts, and I think you hit the spot right on Billy. The key seems to be finding that fine line of spending in the middle somewhere.

I was surprised at the apartment cost comments though. I pay $40 a night for fairly-modern, decent mid-size apartment in Kharkov anytime of year. Anna from KHAPARTS rented me her Apt. unit in Kharkov (1 block form downtown) many times for $40/night ($35/night in summer for 4 or more nights), and it was very well-kept with hardwood floors (photos attached). Of course, I am not saying your getting a penthouse at $50 a night, but cities like Kharkov have much to choose from that is very respectable at $40 - $70 a night...

In regards to income, I agree it's disposable income that is most important. I do just fine going to FSU 3 - 4 times per year (10 days on average) on a middle-class salary, since I have no kids, never married, a great 401-B savings and pension from my previous job & vested pension separate from my 401-B on my current job too.

In any case it does take commitment to make it all work.....

[pk-uk]

Paul, your "American's splash cash" comment may not be far off the mark. I have heard many American's going to the FSU buying women such things as apartments in hopes they get affection in return. It was not too long ago an American man mentioned European men were stingy/greedy and some European men got defensive in the thread.

I can imagine 

It's a safe bet to say American men recklessly throw money around in comparison to more stingy/greedy European men. The ideal way to spend money on a woman you're courting could be somewhere in the middle so the woman doesn't think you stupid with your money buying love but you're not so greedy since you're willing to share/spend some of your money for a potential life partner.

Absolutely, Billy.

On the subject of money, I always tried to gauge the women's attitude to money when I first met them.  One way I did this was to suggest to go and eat somewhere.  Those that asked me about budget or took me to their normal eating out places impressed me most.  Those who assumed I wanted to go to the most fashionable places or shopping - or even buy a bottle of scotch and share it with the waiter  - least.  But those were my criteria.

I must say, when I was in my searching days I found this subject of stereotyping - how foreigners were viewed and expectations of life in the west - interesting.  Some would only want to meet American men, some only interested in European.  Others, like my wife, having a preference for Australians   

Of course, in reality, unless having lived in a country with significant cultural differences or know someone that does, one really doesn't really have a much of a clue about living a life there.   And even then, life there will depend on your partner and their way of life.

Paul

[pk-uk]

Weddings can vary so much no one can give another a firm estimate on that either.  Cheapest thing for some might be to fly to Reno or Vegas and hopefully life with a RW is enough of a gamble that they will stay away from the tables.

I've heard that weddings in the FSU can be very entertaining - and quite cheap.  I also think it can be a nice touch for the girl as she has more chance of friends & family being around for her special day. Though I must admit I haven't heard of any Americans getting married in the FSU, so maybe the way immigration works doesn't make it a good idea  :noidea:

On the other hand, I'm sure that there are cheaper options in the US than what is suggested - though I'd imagine it depends on the individual and what they want/expect.  Thinking about it though Turboguy, maybe you're right; maybe it might be the cheapest they can get away with 

PK

[jb]

Several members here have married in Russia,,, and while somewhat cost effective, (more bang for the buck), it is not necessarily cheap.   Six years ago it was about $5-6K or so to do it up really right, w/designer wedding dress, limo, flowers, live music, decent reception party for family and friends, honeymoon, etc.,,, much will depend on the city size.  Moscow and St Pete will be more costly than a small provincial city.   I'm sure the prices are higher now, but if doing it on the cheap is required, then a simple civil ceremony in your home town before a JP is prolly the way to go.

[ScottinCrimea]

My wife and I were married in Ukraine.  As a smart husband, I left the decision as to what type of wedding up to her.  She chose to have it very informal, only us and her parents there for the ceremony.  We followed this with a dinner at our place with about a dozen close friends and family.  Total cost maybe $100 and it was enjoyed as much as any wedding I had attended prior and so far seems to be sticking just as well.  Even the rings were at minimal cost.  She had already gotten the nice big stone about a year prior and preferred something more sentimental.  Her grandmother, who we were very close to, had died a couple of months prior so we took some old gold jewelry that had belonged to her and had it melted down and made into simple gold bands for us, total cost about $70.

Now I understand that with a younger fiance who is marrying for the first time it may be important to put on a big show but my wife and I had both been married before and the sentiment of the affair was more important to us than the size or the cost.  For those of you thinking that I am perhaps a cheapskate, one look at her engagement ring would convince you otherwise.  I'm just fortunate to have found a wife that weighs practicality and sentimentality equally.

I've also learned that the lavishness or cost of the wedding has absolutely no correlation to the future success of the marriage, unless, of course, you figure in the strains on the marriage due to the debt caused by said ceremony.