How do you guys do it!!!

[duplantisjj]

I know the question sounds strange but damn!!!  I'm about to take my first trip there in April.  Got my air tickets yesterday to Dnepro and now have these huge butterflies in my stomach!!  Asking myself, what the heck am I doing??  Is this normal?? 

I been corresponding with 3 ladies through Cindy Agency for a while now and have had phone conversations with two of them (actually their English is very good).  Will be in Dnepro for a week (staying in CA apartment # 1) but I am having anxiety over the question: How do you guys do it?  How do you keep it all together?  The main thing that goes through my head is all 3 of these ladies know I'm coming and all 3 want to spend time with me; sightseeing and picnics and such.  My thinking early was to not WOVO as everyone says because of obvious reasons.  And I figured I would meet each one and see if we have a connection before committing to relationship building, then try to enjoy the rest my time there as I hear it's a wonderful city.  Any of you veteran's care to give pointers on how to deal with the meetings and keeping the ladies from bumping into each other?  None of the ladies want me to use interpreters all them speak English well and I speak a little Russian.  And I've read that Terps can do really well at keeping the peace, in a manner of words.
Thanks, JJ

[KenC]

duplantisjj,
Jack is the master at this sort of problem.

Do the ladies know you are there to meet others too?
KenC

[duplantisjj]

duplantisjj,

Do the ladies know you are there to meet others too?
KenC

Thanks Ken.  You know, I haven't told them I'm planning on meeting with others.  And of course I've not asked them if they have been corresponding with other guys.  I assume they have since the ladies I'm meeting are IMO some of the prettiest and smartest ladies on the Agency site.  Not sure how to handle this "walking on rice paper" situation.

[BillyB]

Not sure how to handle this "walking on rice paper" situation.

Right before you visit, tell each of the ladies you are visiting as a friend. They like the hard to get men.    It also doesn't falsely get the hopes up too high of the women in case things don't work out which will happen with most, if not all, of the women you're visiting.

[smartcat]

Right before you visit, tell each of the ladies you are visiting as a friend.

Hmmmm. It's a very delicate thing to say. If you declare it since start... you might be treated... as a friend, yes. She could be ready to accept you as a friend. A lady pecks you to your cheek and goes for night disco in some local guys' company, which show her they are interested in her more than a friend.
There should be a balance. "A friend", let say, be my friend, with my great hope to develop it to advanced level!
All you'll see at spot only. And sure not since first minute.

[Gator]

Duplant,

I am a WMVM man, and this is the only uneasy part of WMVM.  

I have also used Cindy, and the terps do keep the peace.  Besides, the women know in general what you are doing.  The women are working you in a friendly way, and it is part of the game.

Remind yourself:

-  You are having one of the best times of your life; do not regret it and don't screw it up.

-  You are better than most men; you are meeting only three when most men see far more.

-  Be modest and friendly, never mention any of the other women, and no advances on the first date.  If she likes you, most will want to kiss your cheek or more.  Return the gesture and nothing more.  Second date, no rules.  

-  You owe the women nothing other than honesty and politeness.

-  Similarly, they have an equal right to not like you (but what's not to like).

-  You are there to find one woman, and the next trip you will meet only her.  Besides, this will make them feel a little better about the competition issue.

I found that the women's work schedules and family matters meant that dates could be easily balanced.  

You will be on your own and you will have to think yourself through it.  It is challenging.  The possible scenarios are endless.  For example, after the initial meetings you are interested in one woman and not the others.  If so, stay with her.  Do not waste any more time on the others even if you promised to take them skating.  

If you are staying over a weekend when the women do not work, the competition can become fierce for your time to do something special such as a picnic.

Enjoy!

[duplantisjj]

Gator, thanks for the excellent tips!  I suppose the uneasy part of the meeting several ladies is normal.  And yes I will there over the weekend but I arrive on Monday and leave on the following Monday.  I have been invited to have a picnic by all three.  I have this strange visual of me at the park, running back and forth from picnic blanket to picnic blanket.      Ideally, the ladies and I will both decide if we are compatible and hopefully within a few days I will be with just one on through the weekend    And yes, I actually feel honored to meet these ladies as I'm sure they only see a few AM from the many letters of hopefuls.  And after seeing that AFA tour video a few weeks back...well I hope their image is not too tainted of all AM... 

Interesting your comment about work schedule.  I just received a letter from one of the ladies saying that she has to work the week of my arrival and was wondering if I could change my arrival date as she will only be available in the later evenings during the week.     I also am looking at about 5 or 6 other profiles of ladies in Cindy, just in case the originals don't work out.  May shoot some intro letters a few weeks before I leave.

This site has been a great resource and I feel much smarter on lot's of these issues because of the hours of reading.  Anyone going to Dnepro around April 28???

[Gator]

You are a young man and could handle it.  Why don't you invite all of them for a clothing optional picnic, leading to a ménage à quatre.     A trip report with photos would be a smashing hit here.

[jb]

I'm thinkin' his biggest hurdle will be,,,"Anchorage, Alaska, USA", not many RWs want to live in another icebox. 

I could be wrong.

[smartcat]

jb, it's +5C now in Dnepro... I had been living in for 11 years. Can not complain the winters are so severe in. Hard to say it's an "ice box". Plus Russians consider us "south". Apricot trees and peach trees raising in backyards. You can not find it in Moscow.
I agree to some point that Alaska will be something to think about for local women. But at another hand this fact can be another test for a woman's feeling.

[FredC]

I only have very limited experience in this field, but I will give you my advise. When I took my first WMVM trip, the only expectations I put on the trip was to have fun. I figured if I met a lady that I was attracted to, then that was just an added bonus. As it turned out, all of the ladies I met were wonderful even if I didn't feel as though I had chemistry with all of them.

[duplantisjj]

Actually, all three ladies knew of Alaska and have heard wonderful things.  I'm sure it's a thought in their mind and I actually had one rejection letter from a Cindy girl, because of my location.  Of course I live in Anchorage which is a major city in South Central Alaska and our temps have been pretty close to Dnepro temps for weeks.  Today we were about +5C with melting snow.  Summers here are spectacular!  But in December...I uhh take a trip to Florida for few weeks every year. 

My main goal is to have a good time in Dnepro and not have any unrealistic expectations.

[KenC]

duplantisjj,
Boy, I was hoping that Jack would join in here as he had this stuff down to a science.  He may be out of country and will join in later.  Here's my 2 cents:

Never lie to any of the women.  But that doesn't mean you have to give full disclosure either.  If asked, tell the lady asking that you will be meeting another woman while in town.  It is not necessary to give all the gory details of how many women you are meeting.  Be sincere in your intentions too.  None of this "only a friend crap."  Tell them that you have the greatest hope that meeting face to face will only assure your thoughts that she could be "the one" but reality is that the two of you will not know for sure until that meeting.  By being honest, you may lose one, but so be it.  It is better to lose her now than to live a lie later.  If pressed, you should down play the "other" RW as someone you got to know over the Net and would like to meet while in town.

Keep the initial meetings short and sweet  Try to meet all three as soon as possible.  You may have to sit through (3) teas and cakes the first day, but so what?  You need to make the initial contact with all 3 women.  Believe me, things will become more clear after these short meetings.  During these meetings it is important that you do not commit to giving large blocks of your time to any one women yet.  If there is promise, then schedule a breakfast, lunch or dinner for the next day.  (You DO have 3 meals to play with )

Understand that Mrs. Right may not be in the group Having some back ups with the agency is a very wise move on your part.

You will be surprised how quickly things will shake out for you.  Of course, the sooner you decide which way to go, the better.  Once you do decide who is your favorite, spend every second you can with her.  Good luck.
KenC

[groovlstk]

I know the question sounds strange but damn!!!  I'm about to take my first trip there in April.  Got my air tickets yesterday to Dnepro and now have these huge butterflies in my stomach!!  Asking myself, what the heck am I doing??  Is this normal?? 

Duplantisjj, it's absolutely normal and you should know now that you're likely going to think those same "wtf am I doing here, am I crazy?" thoughts from time to time when you're in Dnepr and are confronted with some insurmountable culture or language barrier.

But you'll also see and experience things you never imagined and probably have the time of your life!

I went to Dnepr four times, not once did I come back with what I went there for in the first place, but I wouldn't change the experience for the world.

When you get to the Cindy office, if the office manager Katya still works there, level with her and tell her you're there for serious reasons and would prefer not to meet any pro daters or good time girls (don't use those terms, instead say euphemistically that you'd rather avoid girls "who aren't serious"). If you'd like the name of an interpreter in Dnepr whom I trust implicitly, send me a PM.

[I/O]

[Deleted]

Duplantisjj: If you are nervous about the meeting many thing, there is every chance you'll stuff it up. It requires confidence to carry it off and there is no proven bullet proof method. Best I can suggest is DON'T get near to any of them before meeting and make it pretty clear you have other things on your travel itinerary. I know the resident Russian brat will argue with that but the reality is you should be going for other reasons than just to meet a woman. If you are so hung up on only meeting women then you are toast before you start.

Keep you meetings very very short first up and move quickly, then you can return to girl A or B or whatever if you think she might be in the realm of what you want. Don't lie but don't tell everything you know. If you are asked, tell.

3 quick meetings in one day is possible and you won't lie to any of them if you say you will call them tomorrow and perhaps arrange to spend time with them. For mine it is a fairly simple process, but that's me, I've done it but believe it or not I remain steadfastly opposed to this method. Always have and always will because most of us simply can't pull it off, so we shouldn't be trying.

Hope I'm wrong but I see an arse kicking comming here.

FWIW

I/O

[KenC]

duplantisjj,
I just had another thought for you that has not yet been discussed here.  All 3 of these women belong to the Cindy Agency, right?  Do not for a moment think that they do not know the drill here.  They all probably assume that you are going to meet other women from the get go.

It was many years ago, but I went to Russia primarily to meet my now wife of 8 years.  Even though we had a rather well established phone relationship, she never once thought that I wouldn't meet other women while I was in her city.  It was more of a "given" that I would meet others. 

The agency I used insisted that I meet other women on my trip.  It was good advice even though I really only needed to meet my Lena.  I have to admit that it was uncomfortable for me to meet one woman after another, but they seemed to have no problem with it at all!  There was even an incident where I was talking with one woman in a side office at the agency, when my dinner date showed up! :hairraising:  But I was the only one that was uncomfortable with the situation, neither of the ladies gave it a second thought.

Your worries may just be your worries and not theirs.
KenC

[docetae]

You may have to sit through (3) teas and cakes the first day, but so what? 

Just remember the effect of 3 cups of tea before taking a long walk with the third one ....

More seriously, try to have backup outside the agency. You can try bride.ru or luckylovers.net
I have exchanged mail with my girlfriend only a week before meeting her... nothing replace eye contact and direct talk.

Do not forget too that letter from agencies are translated and can be more romantic than the original message.. so the better is to keep low expectations...

[Mod1]

I/O, KenC, and BillyB,

 Enough of the digs and continuous spats.

[Gator]

Duplant,

For backup, I see no need to write more women at Cindy for now.  You have three promising candidates.  If all three bomb, the Cindy staff can arrange for you to meet other women in a matter of hours if not sooner.  Just grab a computer in the office, search the profiles, give the office staff the names, and like magic they will appear at the office door.

As another alternative, you can visit the offices of two other agencies in Dnepropetrovsk:  Majestic and 5-Star (affiliated with Angelica network).  Majestic is a short walk from Cindy.   Some women are listed with all three agencies, yet each agency has its own exclusive fleet of beauties.

[I/O]

I/O, KenC, and BillyB,

 Enough of the digs and continuous spats.

No spats or digs. Simply a matter of challenging a statement which is entirely misleading.

They like the hard to get men.

Misleading of not complete nonsense. There is a big difference between self confidence (A trait I have noticed most women, not only Russian women seem attracted to) and playing hard ot get.

With statements like that it comes as no surprise why many guys have still not been "got". Sorry if that's too bald for some tastes but it's how I see it. The quality of information with the exception of a few posts has gone rather backwards around here since the floor has been littered with eggshells.


KenC raises a good point regarding the girls being linked ot the one agency. They'll know for sure. So why not handle it in the clinical "Meet them in the agency office" way. Quick meeting and next..............  make some phone calls later and arrange further meetings or remove them from the selection list.

IMO meeting in an agency office environment (Yeah mouthing off here because I have never done it) changes the game completely. They are listed with a marriage agency, they know they will meet several men and they know the same men will meet several women. It is all a bit clinical for my taste, but I don't argue the value of it working. We have some super cases here of guys meeting their now wives in this very situation. If you are lining up your own dates from a distance, then it is a very 'nother game altogether IMO.

I/O

[Shadow]

The quality of information with the exception of a few posts has gone rather backwards around here since the floor has been littered with eggshells.
I/O

The quality of information has risen since people are disallowed to throw new eggs at each other.  If I read recent post of some of the throwers they have gone from attack mode back in to advise mode and I like it.

Sorry that I can not comment on the topic. I am a VO man, and never tried to handle more women than one that had my special interest.

[KenC]

I/O,
Well, I have met women in an agency office and it really wasn't all that bad.  I met about 4 or 5 women in the agency office at about 30 to 45 mins each. I had minimal contact with them prior to meeting them in the office and it went quite well IMO.  A lot of guys complain about "no shows" using this technique but I had no such problem.  In fact one woman left her work and ran to the office to meet me about 10 seconds after my feet hit the office floor.  (And you don't think the office staff has their favorite girls? )

Each meeting was comfortable and relaxed. It was quickly apparent if there was a possibility or not.  Some were too young (or should I say immature as Lena was the youngest I met?)  One woman was a little too silly for me.  She was an artest and a little "out there."  But all were fine women and probably made some guy a great wife.  I liken it to speed dating that is so popular here now.  A short "meet and greet" to decide if there are possibilities.  It worked rather well IMO.  I think you can learn more in the first few mins face to face than you do in a long series of emails.  The emails will be much more effective after you meet than before.

Super Mod,
In referring to Billy's advice to deceive the women into thinking you only want to be their friend, is crappy advice IMO.  I also tried repeatedly to make peace and keep this thread on track.  In fact, it was I who hit the "notify mod" button to call you to the scene as not to destroy this fine thread.  I will contine to point out questionable advice given by anyone here as I always have.
KenC

[I/O]

I/O,
Well, I have met women in an agency office and it really wasn't all that bad.KenC

KenC: IIRC you posted a thread or post somewhere sometime back explaining how the process worked in your particular "Agency environment" situation. As I am too lazy to go find it perhaps you will? I think there is some value there for this guy.

I met about 4 or 5 women in the agency office at about 30 to 45 mins each.

My point precisely. Short meetings and next..............Do the sifting in the sanctity of private time later in the day.

The emails will be much more effective after you meet than before.

If meeting through an on the ground agency, I would agree entirely.

I think you can learn more in the first few mins face to face than you do in a long series of emails.

Ken, you and I have long differed slightly on this one and again I submit, in an agency situation I agree entirely, in other circumstances, I am not so convinced. I have long thought the pretty face and stunning dress (Which most women will put their best foot forward for the meeting, as they should) can rather cloud the issue at times. Nevertheless, I am pretty much an exception because I suspect I got this MOB or E-MOB thing down to a pretty fine art. I'd never suggest anyone went the way we did. Risky to the point of ridiculous.

I/O

[groovlstk]

Although it seems you have your meetings already set, one thing you might want to do is set up some dates with the NEWEST Cindy girls. It doesn't take long for a girl to get jaded in this business thanks to guys like JD from Taz's thread, and Cindy has a steady stream of Westerners coming through each day. One of the general rules I learned during my agency days was that the newer girls tended to be more enthusiastic, trustful, and hopeful than those that had been around the block a time or two.

[BillyB]

No spats or digs. Simply a matter of challenging a statement which is entirely misleading.Misleading of not complete nonsense.

The problem with you I/O is you do not challenge people's statements but insult them. If you had said women prefer "easy to get" men who already made up their mind to marry the woman they're visiting, then you are free to state your opinion and the readership can think for themselves. Instead you say ignore people's posts without stating your opinion. That's not debating, that's a cheap shot.

It's not deceiving for duplant to tell these women he's coming to see them as friends first. He should not go there with marriage on his mind but let things flow naturally. If he is telling them he has serious intentions with all of them, then that is deceiving UNLESS he plans on developing a relationship with all of them.

People here can decide on their own who's advice is crappy. Considering the low blow by a recent lie you devised to humiliate me and had a false story crafted behind PM's up about my fiancee, I've been real nice with you two. Don't push your luck. If you truly want this thread to get on track as you say, then STFU and debate the message and not the messenger.

Like Shadow, I agree with the quality of info being put out has risen lately and the readership appreciates it.