KenC's T/R 10 years late

[Jumper]

KenC-

I pretty much knew you and Lena's story over the years,,
 but thanks for posting it, and sharing how you were feeling during that time!

brings back a lot of memories!!

 (Its odd i was  I was just in SD (actually Oceanside) last week,,and meant to give you a call.Ended up getting hurt the first day there, and really hastened up my work schedule,then  a family crises back in the midwest a few days later ,shortened my trip. I do want to catch up with you guys sometime.)


Anyway great trip report!!



hopefully not to derail this off topic ,
 i think its a point a bit neglected..
To me-
KenC looks like many successful RM, in appereance, attitude, style of dress, demeanor etc.
he seems to "fit" that culture ?
Enough so that if living there ,walking down the street,
 i dont think it would be unusual for people *there* to think of him as a successful businessman with a wife and a mistress on the side..

it doesnt shock me at all that a RW ,or her mother, would say,
 *there's a man*, or "my man"
as he "looks a traditional RM part"

I could be way off in left field,
the RW would have to say..but the most important one , already has.


Anyway-
I would like to hear about your follow up trip KenC, as that's a part i dont think i've ever heard..

 

 

[KenC]

AJ,
Call me crazy but maybe it helped that I am Russian?   

The comfortableness that you speak of regarding Lena and her Mom with me works both ways too.  I was very confortable with Russia, the Russian culture and of course Lena and her family.  Like I said some of it comes from my background, but some also came from my familiarity with Lena and her with me.

Our many previous phone conversations were deep and meaningful.  As we shied away from romantic talks, we focused on who we were as people.  How we felt about our families, our countries, politics, morals, honesty, friends, education, our life goals, what was important to us and what wasn't.  Nothing can be more important than meeting face to face, but you can lean an awful lot about each other if you ask the right questions.  Fortunately all the information learned was able to be utilized to the max because of our instant clicking in person.

Thanks for all your kind words and I am sorry that we couldn't hook up while you were here.
KenC

[KenC]

Well, I see a couple of classic cookbooks there.  I see a fairly neat kitchen.  And no bandages on the fingers.  Ken, Benihana's is hiring.  Big sidebar here.... does anyone remember the old comedy series SOAP from the late 70s?  The scene with Billy Crystal and his girlfriend at the Japanese place is still one of the funniest I have ever seen.

Back to the topic.  Test time.... what is your favorite recipe to prepare?  Would you either send it to me or post it here (hey, I enjoy cooking as well)?  You on that topic (maybe I should start a new thread), how about a few Ukrainian recipes?  I can not find a good Ukrainian restaurant here in Austin.  I am really wanting to try a few dishes before I head over.

denied,
A receipe thread is a great idea!!!  Why don't you start one?
KenC

[dneid]

OK, Ken, I'll do that.  Need to figure out what forum to put it in.  Now, if I get one started, can I bank on a contribution from you? 

[KenC]

Of course

[KenC]

Moscow with Lena
The following day Lena and I planned a day trip to Moscow via the train.  While Lena was buying the tickets, tried to get her to buy the whole compartment of (4) tickets so we could have the compartment to ourselves.  She either did not understand or choose not to do as I wanted.  At the train station we bought some snacks and juice for the trip.  I had brought the CD player and I had a duel ear piece set up so we could both listen.

We shared our compartment with a pleasant RW in her early 30’s and her young son of around 8 years old.  Lena and I snuggled together for most of the trip listening to Natalie Cole sing.  Lena enjoyed the old standards even more than I did.  We let the boy listen to some music and shared our juice and cookies with him.  The Mom declined our offer.  Needless to say the trip flew by and in a blink of an eye we were in Moscow.

When we arrived in Moscow I wanted to take Lena to the Americanski Grill.  I had read about it on the plane and it was supposed to be a traditional American restaurant. (Whatever that is)  We grabbed a gypsy cab and Lena negotiated and gave the driver directions.  Pretty bizarre for any first timer.  The Americanski Grill was a pretty cool place.  Think of a restaurant that is a cross between IHOP and a Ponderosa.  It had an all western cowboy décor, but with a very good breakfast menu.  We were kind of in between breakfast and lunch, so we opted for the breakfast menu.  They had great American style coffee which Lena loved and I REALLY appreciated.  Lena absolutely loved her first Denver omelet!  She explained that her mom had always thought her strange for adding veggies and cheese to her eggs at home.  Now she had a name for her concoction. 

Lena’s plan was to take me to a museum.  I believe it was the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts.    Of course I had lots of questions about that too.   I gave Lena the cash to purchase the tickets so as to get the local price of admittance.  It was a beautiful and huge museum with room after room of paintings of famous historical Russians.  Very impressive, if you are into that stuff.  Personally my eyes glazed over after the third room of paintings.  I was bored to tears.  As Lena kept explaining the historical significance of this painting and that painting, she finally caught on that I could care less.  I was more intent of looking at her instead of the paintings.  She whispered to me, “I can tell you are not enjoying this and I had better get little Kenny out of here before he starts misbehaving.” :noidea:

We left the museum and headed for Red Square.  We walked through Gum and had a blast.  It was fun shopping with Lena.  For those who don’t know, Gum Department Store is really not a department store at all but a collection of many small stores under one roof.  As far as purchases, Lena asked for nothing and all I really bought for her was a $3 pair of knock off designer sunglasses.  We were getting hungry again so we hit the TGI Fridays right off the Red Square where I introduced Lena to hot wings.  She hated them and ordered something else.

We headed to the indoor shopping mall right off of Red Square.  It was amazing to me.  What was “amazing” was that it was so similar to just about any mall in America.  Similar stores.  Similar set up.  If you changed the signs and conversations to English, we could have been in any mall in America.  I came away from there not thinking how different things were but how similar.

It wasn’t too long after that we needed to head back to the train station for our trip back to Tver.  Once back in Tver, we headed to the LTP office.  It was early evening and there were maybe a half dozen terps hanging out as usual.  They all converged on Lena talking a mile a minute.  This went on for a little while until Lena led me out of the office to have the driver take us to our respective flats.  It was a long day and we were both tired and for some reason the office conversation was upsetting to Lena.

It was much much later that I had learned what really transpired in the office that evening.  The terps were giving Lena the business for not coming back from Moscow with gifts.  They were severely criticizing her for not “working” me for gifts while in Moscow.  They thought she was a fool for not doing so.  This is the kind of advice the company terps give to their female clients?  What a pack of jackals!   

Leaving day
That night after our Moscow trip, I had to pack up my stuff for the trip home.  I had set up a time for Lena to come over before I left the next day.  Packing my luggage was no big deal, but what the hell was I going to do with all this other stuff I had accumulated?

When Lena arrived, I made us some coffee and we sat in the kitchen and talked.  And I have to say that it was a very mind blowing conversation for me.  Without anything being said, we both knew we had a future together.  Where that would lead was anyone’s guess.  It was discussed that I would return to Russia to spend more time with her.  The how or when was left up in the air.  Lena got up from her chair and came sat on my lap.

In a very touching moment she told me that she felt very strongly about the possibilities of our future together.  She wanted me to understand that if I did not like her as skinny as she was, that she had the ability to change her body for me.  She said that if I preferred her to have “more curves” she could and would do that for me.  (It seems as I later found out that her Mom had convinced her that no man would want such a skinny fish as her)  Of course I told her that I loved the way she looked and that it was her body to do with as she wished.

The she continued to “explain” that she understood that men have their needs and that she expected me to be with women once I returned home.  That is only human nature, she said.  But women do not have such needs and that it would not be necessary for her to see any other men while I was gone.

Holy sh!t.  I am sure my mouth was open to the floor, but no words came out.  I didn’t know what to say or what to think at that time.  To tell you the truth, some 9 years later it is still mind blowing to me.  People that say “all women are the same” are full of crap IMO.  No way, no how would you ever find an American woman with such a thought process.

As the driver was going to arrive shortly, I had to address all the extra stuff I had accumulated in my flat.  I asked Lena to just take it all home.  WOW, did she put up a fuss about that.  No way was she going to take these things,  I reasoned with her.  I told her that if she didn’t take it, I would be forced to throw it all away as I was not going to lug it home with me.  Finally she reluctantly agreed.  The one thing I did make a gift of was the CD player and a few discs that I had brought.  I told her that I bought it with the thought of leaving it with her when I left.  Which was true.  I think that Lena was embarrassed, but she left my flat with two big shopping bags of miscellaneous things I had acquired while in Tver.  I was later informed that her Mom had given her a lot of grief for taking these things too.

The trip to the airport was very sad to me.  My mind was racing.  I was replaying the events in my mind.  Wow.  I never thought that this trip would be so life changing as it turned out to be.  A trip that started on a lark, ended on a very serious note.

Trip home
As I sat in the waiting area at the Moscow airport in deep thought, another American passed by me with a copy of USA Today in his hands.  I never realized how starved I was for anything remotely American and especially American news until I spied the newspaper.  I told the guy “I’ll give you 20 bucks for that newspaper.”  He laughed at me and said “You have been in Russia too long my friend.”  He gave me the newspaper for free.  As we chatted I found out he, David, was from Alaska and had come to Moscow to visit a woman.  We compared notes and got along very well together.  We continued our conversation on the flight from Moscow to Amsterdam where we had a layover until the next morning.  We decided to hook up together for our Amsterdam experience.  I had a room reserved at a hotel connected to the airport while David was staying closer to the city.  We agreed to meet at his hotel after we both checked into our respective hotels.

David and I clicked as buddies right away.  We were both about the same age and we also shared the concept of making the most of our one night in Amsterdam.  PARTY ON!  We walked down to the canal district and found a pub to have a bite to eat.  It became apparent very quickly that David liked his beer and I just went with the flow.  After dinner and more than a few brewski’s we headed out.  David had brought his camera, quite an elaborate set up and wanted to take photos of the girls in the windows.  I told him that I had read that the girls did not like their photos taken and that their pimps might throw his butt into the canal for doing so.  Although quite frankly, it would take a hell of a man to throw avid anywhere as he was about 6’4”.  I told David that I would go to the door and start a conversation with a girl and he should lay back and snap his photos.  The plan worked like a charm.  David got his photos, didn’t get thrown into the canal and I found out that one can get laid in Amsterdam for about 12 bucks.  Needless to say, we just shopped and didn’t buy.

We caught a sex show at one of the many venues on the canal.  The most bizarre thing I had ever experienced.  We also hit a “coffee shop” where their “menu” put Starbucks to shame.  One just would never get the same “buzz” from a Caffe Latte as you could in an Amsterdam coffee house even with a double shot of expresso.

All of a sudden it was 3 AM and we are two stumbling Americans feeling our way down streets in Amsterdam.  David was walking like a soldier with perfect posture but had no clue as to where he was and how to get back to his hotel.  I have to admit I was a stumbling bumbling wreck, but I did have a sense of direction that David didn’t.  I took him to his hotel, unlocked his door and pushed him inside.  I told the night clerk that David had a flight to catch in a few hours and to make sure he didn’t miss it!  I flipped the guy $20 to make sure.

I caught a cab (Mercedes) backed to my hotel and crashed after leaving similar instructions to my hotels night clerk.  (And another $20)  Miraculously, nether David or I missed our flights home.  I don’t know about him, but I slept most of the way back to the US.  David and I maintained contact for many years after but I have since lost tract of him.

[Gator]

I am lowering you two pegs. 

-  Not enjoying the Pushkin is antithetic to spiritual thought.  The impressionists there are marvelous.

-  American coffee

However, I will raise you two pegs because you did not pretend to be anything other than who you are.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Well, 10 years later and 3 pounds more - she really has more curves now for you! 
Awesome, Ken! Made me want to cry in some places...     

[Gator]

Reluctance if not refusal to accept used items is very Russian.  Seen it before.  It must be related to their abundant pride.

This comment "You are a man and have needs, but I am a woman and have no such needs" is also common.  While it sounds submissive, I believe it is a RW's passive way of soliciting a man to say, "After this wonderful time with you, I will have thoughts only of you.  I will not be able to think about other women."  Besides, women have "itches."

[myrddin]

Thanks, Ken.

I should warn you that if the RWD Official Guide to OMBs lists you with words like "ornery" and "mean", I'm gonna have to change it 

[timothe]

I believe the breakfast place Ken is referring to is the American Table restaurant which is across the street from the Yamaskaya Metro.  (right?)  I remember drinking some of that fine coffee and watching the World Cup matches on the big screen while eating breakfast.  Good food...reasonably priced. 

Are you going to continue the trip report to include your next trip?  Inquiring minds want to know.   

[START2]

I'm sure  you must already be thinking/planning  the next trip to see your lady. I know  with Val(my wife), those thoughts had already been hounding me before I left. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I know you said your next meeting was up in the air but what were you really thinking?

[KenC]

I'm sure  you must already be thinking/planning  the next trip to see your lady. I know  with Val(my wife), those thoughts had already been hounding me before I left. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I know you said your next meeting was up in the air but what were you really thinking?

As soon as I shook my Amsterdam hangover, I was ready to return to Russia.  I will post more about what transpired after my return home later.
KenC

[KenC]

I believe the breakfast place Ken is referring to is the American Table restaurant which is across the street from the Yamaskaya Metro.  (right?)  I remember drinking some of that fine coffee and watching the World Cup matches on the big screen while eating breakfast.  Good food...reasonably priced. 

Are you going to continue the trip report to include your next trip?  Inquiring minds want to know.   

Tim,
I have no clue as to where it was, but this place was called the Americanski Grill back in 99.  yes, I thought I would continue the story if anyone is still interested.
KenC

[KenC]

Thanks, Ken.

I should warn you that if the RWD Official Guide to OMBs lists you with words like "ornery" and "mean", I'm gonna have to change it 

  SHHHHHH!  Don't go ruining my image now.  It took me years to build it up to be so bad.
KenC

[KenC]

Well, 10 years later and 3 pounds more - she really has more curves now for you! 
Awesome, Ken! Made me want to cry in some places...     

Glad you enjoyed it.  Lena was very skinny then, now she is only just skinny.  (And looks even better today than then IMHO)
KenC

[KenC]

Reluctance if not refusal to accept used items is very Russian.  Seen it before.  It must be related to their abundant pride.

This comment "You are a man and have needs, but I am a woman and have no such needs" is also common.  While it sounds submissive, I believe it is a RW's passive way of soliciting a man to say, "After this wonderful time with you, I will have thoughts only of you.  I will not be able to think about other women."  Besides, women have "itches."

Gator,
Some how I don't think Lena would phrase that comment quite the same today.   If she was fishing for the response you mentioned, I was too dumb to pick up on it. :selfharm:  Thank you for all your nice comments
KenC

[Jet]

This comment "You are a man and have needs, but I am a woman and have no such needs" is also common.  While it sounds submissive, I believe it is a RW's passive way of soliciting a man to say, "After this wonderful time with you, I will have thoughts only of you.  I will not be able to think about other women." 

I had to smile when I read this, Liliya's speech was virtually verbatim when I left Russia the first time.

[Jumper]

KenC-

I would like to hear the rest of the story,, if and when you have time..


 Heck, I'd post my old one, but it seems from replies here that it  would just be viewed as  revisionist history -  since my wife had options,never really seriously considered
that she would actually relocate,  and i was the dark, charming ,handsome (but not tall lol )  and modest guy that swept her off her feet

[KenC]

KenC-

I would like to hear the rest of the story,, if and when you have time..


 Heck, I'd post my old one, but it seems from replies here that it  would just be viewed as  revisionist history -  since my wife had options,never really seriously considered
that she would actually relocate,  and i was the dark, charming ,handsome (but not tall lol )  and modest guy that swept her off her feet

AJ,
I know I and many others would love to hear your story.  Go for it!!
KenC

[dneid]

Hey, Guys,
I'll take all the TRs from you guys that have been successful.  I can learn a lot from you all.  So, keep posting away.  And Jet, I am still waiting for you to start your TRs.  I would love to hear all about your adventures.
Ken, I have enjoyed your TR so much.  I have learned alot from your TR.  The one thing I have learned that should hold me in good stead on my upcoming first trip, is to take charge.  Not to be afraid to be me.  I am some what like you, Ken, in the fact that I am not interested in being led around for 10 days.  Yes, I will observe and take good advice and guidance from the guides, but I will also not be led from one venue to another.  I am getting quite excited about the trip.  Geesh, I feel like teenager in the back seat of the Oldsmobile.  Looking forward to loosing my Ukrainian virginity (and, no I am not talking about sex!!).
Thanks to all of you "old timers" for the time you put in here.

[KenC]

Hey, Guys,
I'll take all the TRs from you guys that have been successful.  I can learn a lot from you all.  So, keep posting away.  And Jet, I am still waiting for you to start your TRs.  I would love to hear all about your adventures.
Ken, I have enjoyed your TR so much.  I have learned alot from your TR.  The one thing I have learned that should hold me in good stead on my upcoming first trip, is to take charge.  Not to be afraid to be me.  I am some what like you, Ken, in the fact that I am not interested in being led around for 10 days.  Yes, I will observe and take good advice and guidance from the guides, but I will also not be led from one venue to another.  I am getting quite excited about the trip.  Geesh, I feel like teenager in the back seat of the Oldsmobile.  Looking forward to loosing my Ukrainian virginity (and, no I am not talking about sex!!).
Thanks to all of you "old timers" for the time you put in here.

You're the reason I stay here.  Seriously.
KenC

[AnastassiaAsh]

Geesh, I feel like teenager in the back seat of the Oldsmobile.  Looking forward to loosing my Ukrainian virginity (and, no I am not talking about sex!!).

Perfect.   

[Zmejka]

As for words about women's and men's needs it sounds for me like a sign of low self-esteem.
I also enjoed the TR, it's easy and interesting to read, especially with photos.

[KenC]

As for words about women's and men's needs it sounds for me like a sign of low self-esteem.
I also enjoed the TR, it's easy and interesting to read, especially with photos.

Thank you for your compliment.  I do not quite understand how you can come to the conclusion of the low self esteem though.  Care to explain?

I knew it was meant to mean that it would be easy for her to abstain from sex and that she would gladly do so for me.  How could a promise of chastity be tied to low self esteem?
KenC