Returning from Utopia

[Kuna]

Hello All,

Just a quick post to say G'day...

Been very busy here in Utopia (Married Life) but dropped in over the weekend to see many new faces (names).  Great to see RWD going from strength to strength!

Not surprised to see a little conflict but I see that as one of the strengths of RWD because it's usually a community which defines reality through spirited debate rather than other places which seem more intent on cheering people along the path to destruction.

Will try to find time to come back and post some of our recent events and experiences... Suffice to say everything is wonderful! 

Oh, a short comment for the newbies... 

Working out who to trust in here and who to ignore will establish your probability of success. 

If you're mortally wounded by reality checks you'll probably not make it in this journey (or take much longer to find what you want)...  I can assure you of this though... when you get it right you'll know it's the best thing you've done in your life!

Back to Utopia!

Kuna

[KenC]

Glad to hear all iswell for you, Mate!

[I/O]

Hey Kuna,

Good to see you getting out and about again. Better update your profile to married rather than committed. If Mrs Utope sees that you're toast.

I/O

[Gator]

Kuna,

Splendid to see you again.

Does your new avatar suggest a wee one is on the way?

[Shadow]

Hi Kuna,

The wife decided to let you come up for air ? 
Good to know that you are still alive.

[Kuna]

Glad to hear all iswell for you, Mate!

Cheers Ken...  "well" is an understatement... things are great!     Glad to see your grumpy old mug here too...      and it's comforting to know the guys with REAL knowledge are still hanging around here!   

Hey Kuna,
Good to see you getting out and about again. Better update your profile to married rather than committed. If Mrs Utope sees that you're toast.
I/O

HAHAHA! Out and about???  Mate,, we haven't stopped moving.  Been a very busy period down here and things won't be slowing down any time soon.  A short stint in Sydney was interesting to see Mrs Kuna's reaction.

Yes, the city is "nice".  Yes it was a thrill to see the Opera House.  "I couldn't live here though...  too much pollution".


So many funny things have been happening...  I don't know if My Wife knows what an incredible sense of humour she has or maybe it's just my appreciation of her quirkiness but she says the funniest things at exactly the right time.

The fishing bug has REALLY bitten.  We fish every weekend and are loving the opportunity to get out to many places around our city and on the north and south coasts.  Over time we realised the more remote (or difficult) places have been exploited less so we've been venturing to some pretty "out there" spots.

One that wasn't far away but was hard to get to was a estuary just north of the city.  You have to turn off the freeway and venture down a very poor road before parking to walk the rest of the way.

Now imagine me, and my beautiful wife, driving in my treasured Alfa Romeo along a road filled with pot holes and long grass.  We were crawling along and swerving all over the road "Ukraine style"... The conversation had stopped long ago and I'd almost decided to turn around out of worry about the damage we could do to our car...  then, without warning she turns to me with the biggest smile on her face and says, "I'm happy, I feel like we are going to visit Mama in Ukraine" and then immediately looks out the window and says, "But there is no smoke in the air".

I cracked up...  the timing was perfect... we laughed for the next five minutes and after giving in and retreating back to the highway she said, "It's normal, we don't fish in Ukraine either".

There's so many times when we connect through laughter and playful banter.  Whilst my wife is quite shy when she first meets people she has the most incredible effervescent personality that just keeps bubbling along no matter what is happening around her.

A few nights ago I brought her a cup of tea while she was sitting on the couch...  I was looking at her deeply, whispering sweet nothings and she was absorbed in the gentle moment we were sharing...  15 seconds...  20... 30 seconds passed... maybe more...  and then she blurts out, "Why do you look only in one eye".

I collapsed with laughter because it was true... but who would notice and who would point it out even if they did notice it... I recovered and tried again...  but standing so close looking into both eyes...  left - right... left - right... left - right...  Now I was feeling a little "sea sick".

It's just a small silly example of her saying exactly what's on her mind and her incredible knack of surprising and delighting me with the smallest things.

Taking about sea sickness, My Wife's birthday is coming up.  I asked her whether she wanted a party and after careful consideration she came back with the reply that she would REALLY like to go deep sea fishing instead.

After talking about the options we've ended up hiring a charter for the day to take 14 of us out for the day... and whilst that might seem like a VERY COOL gift that I'll enjoy, there's still a few surprises in store for her.   

I might start another thread on birthday gifts because that was a whole other series of surprises...

Anyway... there's been so much happening and so much goodness has been added to my life that sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm awake!

Kuna

[Kuna]

Kuna,

Splendid to see you again.

Does your new avatar suggest a wee one is on the way?

Gator,

I didn't forget you... how could I forget you...  You're a details man aren't ya???   

Hmmmm...  a wee one on the way???


Well...  ya see...  it's like this... yes, I'm the happiest and proudest man alive because you're correct... yes, we are expecting a little one. 

We weren't going to say anything yet (because it's still very early) and some may say it's wise to not say anything until later but we trust in "The Big Guy's" plan for us - and everything is going well to-date.

The thing that gives me a little confidence is remembering back to all of the wonderful things that happened along this journey. 

Finding each other... meeting and bonding like we did... the strength and power in the relationship - even in a difficult period...  the harmony and support from both families... our incredible visa process... her arrival and the miracle of arranging a wedding in 4 weeks... and now discovering that My Wife isn't only pregnant - we're expecting the baby exactly one year after her arrival - on October 2.

As always we're trying to be calm and logical but we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves.

With God's blessing and a continued dose of good fortune everything will go well... 

"She" is incredible, healthy, happy and amazing...  I'm being somewhat true to form in planning, arranging, organising and strategising all of the possibilities.

So... that's my big news... and while I probably wouldn't have said anything yet the subtle hint was picked up by one of the wisest of all men on RWD.

 

Kuna

Hi Kuna,

The wife decided to let you come up for air ? 
Good to know that you are still alive.

Cheers mate...  it's hard work and a surprise a minute but I have managed to get myself a few minutes to drop in for a G'day!   

[I/O]

Yes it was a thrill to see the Opera House. Kuna

Kuna: Especially great news about becoming a "threesome". That is seriously neat for you guys.

To your words above. They struck a special note with me as I recall, oh so fondly, almost two years back when my wife first visited here. I decided a weekend in Sydney might just round off the month. She commented..."I will look the theatre"? I smiled and agreed she "Just might". I recall not saying a word as we wondered down the length of Pitt street and under the rail line etc. When we walked around that final corner and she was confronted with the Opera house, she dissolved (For the one of the very few times I have seen) into tears. Her remark was that she had seen a picture in a book when she was very small and simply never imagined she would be able to touch it.

Interestingly enough, her impressions of Sydney are much the same as your Mrs, nice to visit but...................

Drop in again and keep us informed.

I/O

[Gator]

Kuna and the Missus,

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU ALWAYS HAVE GOOD NEWS ABOUT YOUR NEW LIFE, YET THAT IS THE BEST NEWS OF ALL.

Family with children is my greatest source of joy.  I am happy for you, knowing that you too will be so blessed.  There goes your new BMW out the window, but family is worth it.

[groovlstk]

Kuna,

Bolshoi congratulations and I'm glad to see things are going well for you and Mrs. K!

[START2]

Kuna,
  We also want to extend our congratualtions on your upcoming blessed event!!

[ionizer]

Congratulations Kuna!  It's good to see that you are so happy.  Enjoy every moment with your little one - they grow up so fast!  Cheers!

[ScottinCrimea]

Kuna, Congratulaitons on the great news!  Also wonderful to hear how great life is for you and your wife.  I think back to all the people on here who were predicting a crash and burn scenario way before you got to this point.  those of us who knew you and the situation better had no doubt, though, that this would be the end result.  sure it's early, but a heck of a great start!

[jj]

Nice to hear about update.  Congrats on having one on the way.  I understand what you mean by being busy!   Been married little over 4 months, and never a dull moment, but we are all happy (Marina has a great 20 year old daughter).  Keep us posted.   I don't post alot but enjoy reading good posts, and hearing from the world down under.  g'day !

[BillyB]

I think back to all the people on here who were predicting a crash and burn scenario way before you got to this point.  those of us who knew you and the situation better had no doubt, though, that this would be the end result. 

I can't remember anybody predicting Kuna was going to crash and burn. Who predicted that? I always thought he had a good plan of communicating with a lot of women, then finding the best one's to visit and then picking the best of the best that he visited.

Congrats Kuna and Mrs. Kuna on the little one.

[Turboguy]

Billy, I think I am one of the guilty ones on that score but I am truly happy to hear that things are going well. I hope the success continues forever. I am sure the little bundle on the way will bring even more joy.  I think enjoying more time together first could have been a consideration but still the joy a new addition brings is very special.

[IAmZon]

ME TOO ...

Just thought I would stop into take a peak to see if RWD was on the upswing -  and I read this!

MAGNIFICENT KUNA!

RWD, like politics, makes for strange bed fellows. I have not agreed with many of your recent posts over the last 6 months, yet I have always felt a strong connection with you.  It seems that you went from a very chilled out guy, to an very opinionated one over night.  I often wondered silently if the apparent personality change was a negative byproduct of your journey.

I am very, very happy that is not the case.

Best of luck

[Turboguy]

I think Kuna has a right to feel very proud for the success and happiness he has found. VWRW and I will celebrate two months of marriage tomorrow. We are both extreamly happy but I doubt either of us would call it Utopia. For us it is mostly wonderful with a lot of hard work, a sprinkling minor problems adjusting, a smattering of frustration dealing with the government, a few brief moments off homesiness and a few things we differ in our ideas. She is the most amazing and wonderful woman I have ever met and I could not be happier. Utopia, No I will leave that realm for Kuna.

[Kuna]

To all who've posted above... thank you. 

We're both very happy and looking forward to very special new experiences!   


Riv...
Your post has tempted me to write something I've been wanting to write for a while...  maybe tomorrow if I get around to it.   

Billy, I think I am one of the guilty ones on that score but I am truly happy to hear that things are going well. I hope the success continues forever. I am sure the little bundle on the way will bring even more joy.  I think enjoying more time together first could have been a consideration but still the joy a new addition brings is very special.

Turbo.. there were no hard feelings at the time and there are still none about your negative comments.  Others seemed to take more pleasure than you at the time (by being negative) but I guess they must feel like they are eating glass right now.   

As for your comment "I think enjoying more time together first could have been a consideration"...  It's just an example of how different we are.

You've criticised me a few times over this but I always felt your criticism was bizarre at best... especially as you spent all of your time with your wife away from your collective reality.

I consciously decided to not JUST spend time with her...  I wanted to see her at home... at work... with her family... and with her friends.  I wanted to see what she was like after a difficult day in the office and I wanted to see how she reacted around friends and family.

I believe you can put most couples in a controlled environment for a period of time and they will imagine what they want of each other.  Seeing all of the little things... especially the difficult things... is (IMHO) a better indicator of character. 

I think I also mentioned in a previous post that I was actually relieved when we had our first major disagreement (during my second trip) because I got to see how she fought.      We ALL have disagreements but the way we and our partners react has such a huge impact on the sustainability of a relationship.

Anyway...  you spent your time in the manner you wished... I spent my time according to my plan.  We can both try to justify our decisions in any way we choose but there's no need...  if we screw it up we can just accept responsibility for our decisions. 

I think Kuna has a right to feel very proud for the success and happiness he has found. VWRW and I will celebrate two months of marriage tomorrow. We are both extreamly happy but I doubt either of us would call it Utopia. For us it is mostly wonderful with a lot of hard work, a sprinkling minor problems adjusting, a smattering of frustration dealing with the government, a few brief moments off homesiness and a few things we differ in our ideas. She is the most amazing and wonderful woman I have ever met and I could not be happier. Utopia, No I will leave that realm for Kuna.

I can honestly say it is Utopia.

We have fitted so well.  The humour, laughter, banter, play time... The seriousness... focus...  logic and dedication.  The way she's become a part of my family and the way I've become a part of hers wasn't entirely expected, but it's truly wonderful.

I wouldn't call it a cake walk because I agree, it's been hard work.  For us it's finding the time for the mandatory romantic walks...  family obligations... friends that want a piece of our time... and juggling all of the things we do together and separately...

I don't push my friends onto her but slowly and surely she is working out who she likes best, and periodically she'll ask me for a phone number so she can stay in direct contact with them.  Yes, there is one UW (married to my best friend) but others are just your regular Aussie chicks...  oh, and one political advisor to a government minister (who she's certain she must be corrupt if she's so heavily involved in politics)...   

Our ideas, goals and values are very much in sync.  One BIG benefit for us is her previous experience living OS...  I think the fact she is highly logical works in our favour too.

We don't have disagreements as such...  She drives me nuts when she can't stay out of the kitchen when I'm cooking.  I probably drive her nuts with other things.  There's been no home sickness and we keep uncovering amazing things we share in common that add so much value to our lives.

Children will be the next big challenge...  but for us that will be such a great reward. She's already told me of her expectation on how we will raise our children and  I think it's not only "proper"...  there are things that she wants that are truly wonderful.

We're both in the same stage of life and for us that means we want to establish a family of our own and create something special.

Anyway... this is much longer than expected and this, as well as Rivs post is tempting me to write something I've been thnking of for a long time.

All the best to you too!

[groovlstk]

Kuna,

Not to divert your thread, but my wife and I had dinner with Riv and Simoni a few weeks back at the Russian Tea Room in NYC. Simoni is a good friend of ours and we met Riv for the first time. My wife said it best afterwards by describing Riv as "very handsome and polite." We're hoping both rascals will return again soon...

[Gator]

Kuna,

I see no problem with having children early if you are both ready for it.  Family with children has been the greatest source of joy in my life. 

For a couple your age, raising children should be the reason for deciding to marry.   You felt the time is right.  Enough said.   

Just be aware of how you may change.  Upon the birth of my first son, I dropped my registration as a Democrat and became a Republican.     All it meant was that I would offset my wife's vote.

Turbo,

Your comment "I think enjoying more time together first could have been a consideration" does not sound like you.  It compares, IMO, to someone telling you, "I think marrying someone your age could have been a consideration."   

[IAmZon]

To join in a brief divert ..

Groove, I am flattered, and your wife is a true jewel.  You are a lucky man.  I enjoyed the company and the environment immensely! The Baltica 3 was great too.

Now a funny thing happened while there. I could not get a signal on my cell phone while in the restaurant, because of the metal roof.  When I got out I called my date, who has been my rather steady Romanian girlfriend for about 6 - 12 months depending on how you count.   

She was mad as hell and taking my head off - so loud that Somani could not help but over hear.  (he is familiar with my background, and has become a good friend.  And mentioned - only in the best meaning way that maybe I pick the wrong ladies:)  Well, maybe he is right.

I took a taxi back to her place where she continued to talk to me like I swore I never would be talked to EVER again.  Yada Yada Yada Stuck it out for a few more days.

Then I figured enough.

Now, I am truly a single guy again ... and perhaps on lap closer to being the sincere man Jack Bragg insists I must be before he would allow me to go with him and his crew:)  We will see.

Yea.  You guys were right.  She has been in the US for three years.  Although an fresh immigrant, she is an American woman now (but she still cusses like a Hungarian - which can put a biker to shame)  In the end, I have come to learn I have NEVER dated I Russian woman ... yet.

Pardon my diversion. And although I can understand it Kuna if your real life will take you from this board. I would love to read the post you eluded to!  Where has Kuna#1 been?

[KenC]

Kuna,

Not to divert your thread, but my wife and I had dinner with Riv and Simoni a few weeks back at the Russian Tea Room in NYC. Simoni is a good friend of ours and we met Riv for the first time. My wife said it best afterwards by describing Riv as "very handsome and polite." We're hoping both rascals will return again soon...

Groov,
I thought the Russian Tea Room was closed?  I had a great dinner there years ago.
KenC

[Turboguy]

Kuna, I did not mean that quite as negative as it sounded.  I have to agree with Gator that helping to raise my two kids was one of the most special parts of my life.   For me the other part that was good was that both my kids work in my business so we have been able to stay connected as they grew older.   Yes, your life is never quite the same and it is not all wonderful but the wonderful part outweighs the not so good parts a million to one.   Don't stay away too much.  We want updates and pictures.

I agree Kuna, we both did it the way we thought was right.   We both have to take the consequences.   I hope for both the consequences are happiness.   In my case I went to the FSU so many times it was like being forced to eat the same food three times a day for a few years.  I had no urge to go back, particularly to Siberia in mid winter.  If I had felt it was beneficial to spend more time in her city I would have.  I did not and did not and don't regret it a bit.  For me, it was far better doing it the way I did. 

[Kuna]

No need to write what some people won't believe...