Blonde Day.

[I/O]

According to my Mrs, today is Blonde day in Russia. Leaves me wondering if there is a day in the year which doesn't signify something for Russians but anyway................topically, a couple of notes from memory...................

How do you make a blonde's eyes shine? Aim a torch in her ear.

Blonde's are temperamental, 90% temper and 10% mental. (Try telling one that and see if it is not proven correct)

I/O 

[BC]

Torch = flashlight

My first thought was a welding torch.. guess that would work too! LOL

[2tallbill]

Blonde day..........

This joke belongs to Cartoon Stock dot com.

[2tallbill]

This joke belongs to Cartoon.stock. com and not to me.

[2tallbill]

Corny Blonde jokes alert!!!
Corny Blonde jokes alert!!!
Corny Blonde jokes alert!!!
Corny Blonde jokes alert!!!

Q: Why are blondes' noses so nice?

A: Because they are hand picked

Q: Why did the blonde explain how the helicopter crashed?

A: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

A: Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?

A: They are easier to amuse.

Q: Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?

A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dyer!

Q: How can you tell a blonde has been using the lawnmower?

A: The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

A blonde was driving down the road on her way home from work. On the radio the announcer was listing a bunch of blonde jokes. "This is so discriminating" she thought to herself. She looked to her left and saw a blonde in a field trying to row a boat. "These people make a bad name for us," she thought. So she pulled over and shouted to the other blonde, "If I could swim I would go out there and tell you to stop making a fool of us!"

Q. How do you drown a blonde?

A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.

Q. What was a blonde invention?

A. A solar powered flash light.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head just escaped from jail. All of them ran into a bar. The brunette went behind a box, the redhead went behind the door, and the blonde went into a potato sack. The police came into the bar and kicked the box, the brunette said "arf" so they thought it was a dog. The police kicked the door and the red head said "meow" so they thought it was a cat. The police kicked the potato sack and the blonde said "potato!"

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.

Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.


Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
1. "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
2. "Good thing that cows don't fly."

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says, "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A: An IN-body experience!

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

[2tallbill]

Blonde Day.

This joke is owned by cartoon stock dot com

[2tallbill]

One blonde can make a difference! At least that is what the blonde in this joke thought.

She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn't like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart.

In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn't an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace she announced,
blonde jokes"It isn't true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is."

Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked,
"Ok, how about Arizona?"

The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,
"A"!

[dneid]

OK, let's keep the blonde thread alive.....

Q.  What is the mating call of a blonde?
A. I'mmmmm soooooooo drunk!

Q. What is the mating call of a brunette?
A. Has that damn, drunk blonde left yt?

Q. What is the mating call of a redhead?
A. Next!



Q. How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?
A. Opens the car door.

You know, Bill, you and I are going to smoke a few turds in purgatory for these.  Don't forget to have the wife put a few Bics in your pockets before they plant you in the ground.  I figure I will be able to trade a few of my Bics for smoking duty!

[myrddin]

Sigh, I used to think I could avoid purgatory but I just couldn't resist:

"Cuz I'm a Blonde"
Julie Brown
   <fast singing>

Because I'm a blonde I don't have to think, I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry if I'm getting a man if I keep this blonde and I keep these tan
Cause I'm a blonde yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
I see people working and it just makes me giggle, cause I don't have to work, I just have to giggle
Cause I'm a blonde B-L-O-N-D
Cause I'm a blond don't you wish you were me?
I never learned to read and I never learned to cook
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me, but I have this philosophy, "So what?"
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for them cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em
Cause I'm a blonde nyah nyah nyah
Cause I'm a blonde nyah nyah nyah
They say to make it you need talent and ambition, well I got a tv show, and this is my audition;
Umm. . . okay. . . what was it?. . . ummm don't tell me. . . oh, yeah, okay "Duck Magnum, duck!"
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
I took an IQ test and I flunked it of course, I can't spell VW but I got a Porsche
Cause I'm a blonde B-L-I-N-D
Cause I'm a blonde don't you wish you were me?
I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can.
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA but my goal is to become a veterinarian cause I love children
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
Girls think I'm snotty and maybe its true
With my hair and body, you would be too
Cause I'm a blonde B-L- . . . I don't know!
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah
Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah!



I'd like to apologize to... well, just about everybody at this point.  That'll save time 

[Fashionista]

Thank you, people! Really, you made my day!