On Line Dating Sites

[Killer-B]

Killer-B,

Your experience with EM echoes mine to some extent as I discussed here.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=7252.0

In 2007 I did find three quality RW at EM who were interested in me, and I scheduled dates to meet them (in 3 different cities 1000 miles apart).  Prior to meeting them, however, I met my old flame for spaghetti and I never left. 

My assessment is that while EM response is down, it is still far better than American dating sites. 

I went to Dnepropetrovsk and Kharkiv in 2006 and in 8 days found too many interested women. Two of whom I would have been delighted to meet again and again to explore marriage, with a couple of other women remaining as possibilities.  These two locales impressed me.

Hi Gator - Ironically, I read your post right AFTER I had posted mine - and thought about commenting on your thread to cross-post the two, for yes, our experiences mirror each other almost to the T -

What I'm amazed at - is your willingness (ability!?) to cover 3 corners of the FSU to meet 3 gals!! Am not sure I have that much time or the resources to be as adventurous... But "camping out" in Kharkov or the likes - has crossed my mind more than once

As of today - most everyone is in Crimea... I can think of worse places to hang in May!

Thanks for the well-wishes and advice!

KB

[Killer-B]

Anutalove.ru is good as it is part of the mamba network of dating sites: the network uses the same database of 9+ million profiles of men and women. I found my wife on one of the sites of the network (singles.ru) but I don't share your opinion in that the women were not as attractive as the ones on EM. Quite often many of the women on EM are on the free Russian sites and the free sites are open to everybody so anybody can join. In my opinion, the best women on the free Russian sites are as good or better than the women listed with EM.

However, the free Russian sites are a numbers game pure and simple. I probably sent out over a thousand messages over a course of a year. Every time when I was online I would look at the new profiles send out a few dozen messages. I then corresponded with dozens of women and finally met a dozen or so. Most of the 1000+ women that I sent messages to on the dating site never replied, but given that there were few million more women on the site, I did not care. It is like most fishing expeditions: you can't expect to get a trophy fish each and every time you cast your line. It is the same thing with the free dating sites: it requires a lot of time and effort to find women that you like and that in return like you. Unless a guy is willing to send out message after message, it is likely not going to lead to success.

Gabaub & CCowboy (Apologies for the multiple posts - Haven't figured out how to quote everyone in a single post just yet) - But would agree, it's a numbers and "timing" game - Also doesn't hurt to pay the extra fee to get your profile bumped to the top (front) of the heap - and get more exposure... I'd heard about this "9 million RU Member network" - and suspected I had tripped across it - Mamba you say? Is that the "home" site? I'll have to check it out...

RE: My remarks about them not being E/M's - You're correct - of course out of 9 million - there are allot of lookers - but as you've noted - you REALLY have to dig deep to find them... Plus I'm a novice with Russian at best... so sometimes it's kinda difficult to keep up the dialogue when all they know is Russian - and English is my forte

To that point though... What I found most interesting, and what I found as "truth" (if it quacks, has webbed feet, and feathers - it's most likely a duck!!!) - and I omitted this from my 1st post but mentioned it offline in a PM to someone -is that once a RU/UW/BW ARRIVES in the States, her "age requirements" (esp. on Anuta) drop fast from 40 to 30 (if not less) and the handful I've met here in the States (CA, Vegas, Denver, TX) - while all very nice, want little to do with the "old man" of 43 now... Whereas, before they came over.... they were all ears - And hey, I can't say that I blame them - just an ugly truth - or confirms a suspiscion I've had for years... Love may be part of it... but economics does play a role too - at least in my limited experience - I still get a few emails (Anuta) from NYC with gals wanting to hook up - most b/c their visas are about to expire -

Either way - Yes, it's purely a numbers game.... I just don't recall the math being so hard in prior years LOL!!!  :hairraising:

Good to see you again BC -

Cheers everyone

KB

[Misha]

Gabaub & CCowboy (Apologies for the multiple posts - Haven't figured out how to quote everyone in a single post just yet) - But would agree, it's a numbers and "timing" game - Also doesn't hurt to pay the extra fee to get your profile bumped to the top (front) of the heap - and get more exposure... I'd heard about this "9 million RU Member network" - and suspected I had tripped across it - Mamba you say? Is that the "home" site? I'll have to check it out...

RE: My remarks about them not being E/M's - You're correct - of course out of 9 million - there are allot of lookers - but as you've noted - you REALLY have to dig deep to find them...
KB

The main site: http://mamba.ru/. All the other sites are pretty much the same (singles.ru and many others): the design of the site varies slightly but the database is identical.

I am not sure about the having to dig very deep. In my experience, there are a lot of gorgeous women on the free Russian sites, but you have a lot of competition especially if she is in a big city. A young attractive woman in Moscow will get thousands of messages per month. She likely won't read a profile, just look at the picture.

You are right about timing. My wife would check her profile at work from time to time. I just lucked out: she was online, saw my photo and replied without even reading my profile: she liked my photos and thought I was cute. I few minutes later and I would have missed her and if more men had happened to write at the same time, she could easily have missed me. So, that is why persistence does pay off from time to time 

[HazyKnight]

Quote from: Killer-B on Yesterday at 09:00:10 PM
Well, after a 2 year hiatus from RW (both searching, and RWD) - And foolishly giving it another go with AW (you'd think I'd learn by now!?)   I'm now back in the FSU saddle -

 That said, after reading all the mostly positive reviews on RWD about E/M's, I finally bit the bullet, and signed with Elena's Models... I jumped on their "Easter Special" ($89) - and while I'm only a few days into it all... (FWIW, I had been "signed up" for years) - but now, as a paying Gold Member - I could do a little more digging - and actually start kicking the tires some... and wow... what an eye-opening experience it's been thus far...

And don't get me wrong, what I'm about to express frustration over, is NOT E/M's fault... but really, just more proof that this "industry" and the women who play in it - has changed ohhhhh so much!

Point being - I eagerly scrolled through my list of "matches" - and started firing off "expression of interest" (EOI's) to several ladies I'd "met" before I became a full member, as well as some new hotties that were jumping off the page at me    Well, 2-5-7 days later - "You've got mail!" - Great! Let's lock and load - and get ready to roll! Buzzzzzzzzzzzz! Wrong! - I open my E/M inbox just to find - reject - reject - reject - after reject! Wow!?! Now, before you say, "We'll, you're a few years older now, etc. etc. etc." - I originally set my profile up in 2005 - and have just let it sit the past 2-3 years... So it has same pix and intro etc - But "back then" my inbox was swamped - and got a ton of EOI's letters... And now? LOL!!   I think there's ONE gal that is even of remote interest to me........ and even then.... I'm starting to wonder if I've made the right/wrong choice here.... 
 
KB 


KB, sorry to read about your experience at EM. You know, people on the sites are really unpredictable. You say in 2005 you got many EOIs but now you get lots of rejections? Well, that may happen. No one can really say what do you do wrong. EM's women come and go, next year you may have a better harvest than now.

Here is my own records at EM:

Since 03.02.2008 and to date, I have received 13 EOI's and answered 13 of them.

Since 02.02.2008 and to date, I have sent 35 letters to the men who caught my interest. Btw women can initiate contact by letter only, we cannot send EOI.

Of them:
10 men did not open my letters at all.
4 men did not read my letter of interest at all, and deleted them right now. No chance.
5 men sent me a polite no.
A few read and deleted my letters.
With a few others I exchanged some emails.

Does it prove that I am of low quality? Not at all.
What does it prove is that the dating market is unpredictable, and depends largely on the blatant luck. 

I am still new to this website, but I am so far very impressed that there are other people from other nations contributing here. I am even more suprised that there are women on here. I think this is great because everyone can hear from all the different sides.

Global Ladies was good to me. Yes they sent me a lot of letters (EOI's) and from them I met my first FSU woman and took my first trip (no I didn't go with them). I spent a good deal of money, but it was a good learning experience. If I try again, I'll go with EM, because everyone else here is recommending it.

[Killer-B]

Welcome HazyKnight -

Yup - Very good group here - Enjoy your time -

Cheers -

KB

[SANDRO43]

(Apologies for the multiple posts - Haven't figured out how to quote everyone in a single post just yet)

KB, when you're in posting mode, just scroll down the page to where the other post you want to quote is, and you'll see Insert Quote at top left. Click that, and it'll appear inside your post, as I did below:

Welcome HazyKnight -Yup - Very good group here - Enjoy your time - Cheers - KB

BTW, any compelling reason for your bold blue ?

[Lily]

FYI - I "registered" on E/M's back in 2005 - and was reluctant to "join" (pay) - so - maybe I was one of those 35 you emailed - but we (men) simply could not open them without paying for a huge membership... So, I suspect that is why you got what you got 

KB

Before I sent out a letter, I make sure the man is either of Gold or Platinum Membership, so that he could reply me.
No KB, you were not of those 35 I emailed. Why to email at EM when I can reach you anytime at RWD? 

vwrw - I really appreciate your idea of hearing a RWD members opinion. At the moment I am in process of replacing my photos at EM, and it seems to work! this weekend I got about 4 new EOIs!

[Killer-B]

Sorry Sandro..... (just looks nice to me) 
Thanks for the post/quote tip!

Lily, no, I didn't mean that you had contacted me... but - this raises an interesting point - So the ladies can tell what "level" membership the men are?? Interesting!

[Lily]

KB, when a lady looks up a man's profile, she can see right away near his main photo a gold sign "Gold member' or white sign 'Platinum member".

Some men do not have any signs - suppose they are nonpaying members. But somehow I also get replies 'No thanks' from them as well. I wonder how do they manage to send a reaction..Or is a 'No thanks' an only possible reaction for non-paying members?

[SANDRO43]

Sorry Sandro..... (just looks nice to me) 

No great problem, just hoped you wouldn't eventually turn into another Admiral TigerPaws (whose shouting must have sunk his boat ). BTW, non-bold blue is much better, thank you.

[SANDRO43]

Or is a 'No thanks' an only possible reaction for non-paying members?

Precisely, it's free. Don't want to pry Lily, but are you again in "search" mode ?

[Gator]

Lily,

Do RW think a man is cheap (possibly greedy) if he does not sign up as Platinum member?

When I used EM, I paid for the Gold membership and not the much more expensive Platinum.  Gold gives unlimited access to 50 women.  If that was not enough,  I felt that I should stop looking entirely.


In fact, I almost stayed with the free Silver because there were only a few women who interested me and I could purchase contacts for $8-12 each (I forget).  So I joined as a Gold Member, sent many more EOIs, and mostly got rejected or worse, started something and did not conclude it properly.  The few women who attracted my original interest to join were enough.

[HazyKnight]

Lily,

Do RW think a man is cheap (possibly greedy) if he does not sign up as Platinum member?

When I used EM, I paid for the Gold membership and not the much more expensive Platinum.  Gold gives unlimited access to 50 women.  If that was not enough,  I felt that I should stop looking entirely.


In fact, I almost stayed with the free Silver because there were only a few women who interested me and I could purchase contacts for $8-12 each (I forget).  So I joined as a Gold Member, sent many more EOIs, and mostly got rejected or worse, started something and did not conclude it properly.  The few women who attracted my original interest to join were enough.

That's a good question there Gator.

Precisely, it's free. Don't want to pry Lily, but are you again in "search" mode ?

I'm new here, but I am astounded that you guys aren't trying to form a relationship with her. What a catch guys! I don't know her, but from reading posts, she's articulate, kind, sincere, and intelligent and beautiful.

If I overstepped my boundries here, please let me know. Sorry if I did.

[Faux Pas]

I think I've stated this elsewhere but I'll do it againg because we're on the subject. I've had nothing but what I'll call success with EM. I originally signed up on the silver plan. In 6 months I had two responses to my profile. I took and upgrade offer to Gold and sent approximately 50 EOI's. Without counting them I'm guessing all but 2 or 3 responded back and about one third of those were "not interested". That left two-thirds that were (roughly 30). Half of those I lost contact with because I simply couldn't keep up the letter writing campaigns.

I only posted one picture and it was recent. My profile was rather bland even to my tastes but it didn't seem to matter as I was getting many responses from women whose profiles I hadn't even seen. I'm guessing I received over 100 responses in all. Probably should be said there was no Adonis in the picture. Just myself, I look my 46 years, fit, not offensively ugly but not overly attractive either. Just an "average" guy.

I had signed up on Global Ladies and the sister site a couple of years ago. After getting milked quite quickly of a couple hundred bucks, I looked for other routes. Eventually winding up at EMs. Iwas very surprised at the quick responses and instant contact information. I'd give EMs 4 stars out of possible 5. FWIW 

[Killer-B]

I'll add this much since a few days has now lapsed from my original post / vent -

Faux - You mention your response rate - My story is similar to yours - 44 and "average" - yet mine seems (for 2008) to go hand in glove with Gators' experience - about 20% overall response from the ladies (be it "not interested" - or get some sort of "response") BUT what is starting to perplex me a bit now - Is that I've sent out about 30+ EOI's - and of those sent, MAYBE 6 of have even been "read"???.... Makes me wonder if gals are *really* active on the site - ya know?

To your point/post above - I'll also add, that somewhere on here (RWD) someone once did a tally of men vs. women on E/M's - and I believe it was 65% men vs. 35% women... so - if we're all EOI'ing the same ladies - that too could/would account for the "drop in interest"...

Just my 2 cents -

KB -

PS: If there are any Platinum Members - that are willing to do me ONE favor - please PM me.... as there's one gal that contacted me from the new section - but I have to wait 4 weeks before being able to reply.... :-(

[catzenmouse]

PS: If there are any Platinum Members - that are willing to do me ONE favor - please PM me.... as there's one gal that contacted me from the new section - but I have to wait 4 weeks before being able to reply.... :-(

KB,

 This sounds like a very good time to $hit or get off the pot. There is such a thing as going too cheap for too long. Can't you just buy this ladies contact information? If not, perhaps it would be beneficial to not be "greedy" as an FSUW would say.

Just a thought.

Ken

[Gator]

Catzenmouse,

To have early access to catalog women at EM, one must become a Platinum member for $400 or so (my memory is bad).  Not small, not large, yet too large considering his low favorable response rate so far.

KB,

If you wait to write, she'll still be there in 4 weeks but you will come across as cheap or indecisive.   Then again, she may have sent EOIs to 100 men besides you.

What age women are you writing?

[Killer-B]

Thanks for covering my arse there Gator - For yes, that is exactly what I'm facing - "upgrading" for $400 MORE - and the way things are going (with E/M's) am not all that eager - at least today - to pump more $$ into the Aussie economy just yet -

I know where you're coming from Ken - Love ya like a brother dude... Was just trying to be "Creative" for one gal - but ya - she prolly has a boatload of EOI's already -OR- Everyone is like me - in the "Gold" membership world sitting back and waiting - and NOT writing her - so - maybe that is why my EOI stood out? We'll never know!? LOL -

FWIW - One gal from Crimea - crossed paths last night with me on Yahoo IM - had NO idea who I was!! LOL - So after sending my E/M's profile link - she then engaged - She admitted she had over 20 IM chat sessions going - and that was at 8 a.m. ROTFL -

Gator - 28 to 35 is about where I'm at... as that is what I typically date in the American pool.... Some a couple yrs younger - some a tad older... Really base allot on their desire(s) surrounding family and intellect - So far Crimea and Belarus are it!!?? - I intentionally am avoiding the big cities - That's just my own personal preference - Not that anything has popped up from them - yet LOL -

Cheers all -

KB

[Killer-B]

Some men do not have any signs - suppose they are nonpaying members. But somehow I also get replies 'No thanks' from them as well.Or is a 'No thanks' an only possible reaction for non-paying members?

Yes, as Sandro mentioned - nonpaying members can only say "No Thanks"...

I didn't even know you were on E/M :-P Will have to look ya up!!

[Faux Pas]

I'll add this much since a few days has now lapsed from my original post / vent -

Faux - You mention your response rate - My story is similar to yours - 44 and "average" - yet mine seems (for 2008) to go hand in glove with Gators' experience - about 20% overall response from the ladies (be it "not interested" - or get some sort of "response") BUT what is starting to perplex me a bit now - Is that I've sent out about 30+ EOI's - and of those sent, MAYBE 6 of have even been "read"???.... Makes me wonder if gals are *really* active on the site - ya know?

Patience Grasshopper

You mentioned it has only been a few days. While it's relatively obvious they all have some internet access, many still don't have the availability to the net as often as you or perhaps the time. I do remember some of them being extremely slow in response even to the point that I had almost forgotten  That I sent a note or EOI. Much to early to panic at this point. I'd also say hold off on the catalog women unless you wish to invest the extra dollars. I never saw an advantage of being the first to contact them. In 4 weeks you can still contact them and they will still be there. I never contacted one while in the catalog but I did list a couple in the favorites and contacted them later and they responded. Ironically, the one I am soon to visit was one of the first 5 I contacted. She wasn't in the catalog

[Killer-B]

That ugly "P" word! Yes, Patience

I know - I know - Guess with looming travel dates fast approaching - was just hoping - and maybe 2nd guessing (outloud here) if this was the right choice for me - Nothing ventured blah blah blah... Right?

But the grasshopper will wait

[catzenmouse]

To have early access to catalog women at EM, one must become a Platinum member for $400 or so (my memory is bad).  Not small, not large, yet too large considering his low favorable response rate so far.

Thanks for the explanation Gator. Sounds like a good way for EM to kick up the profits. Free (or cheap) to join but you can't do anything unless you "upgrade" but you won't know if it is worth upgrading unless you kick out the bucks.

I'm guessing that you can't buy an address either unless you upgrade or is that a possibility for this lady.

Plenty of smaller more personal agencies that might be worth looking into as an alternative to paying the premiums for EM or waiting a month.

You know that thing about brothers right? Sometimes we're more of a pain in the @ss than we're worth...

[UTRO]

KB, I like that you've kept this thread going! You know, I only started looking for a RW a little over a year ago. I began with an Elena's Silver Membership but soon realized that this wasn't enough!! I then debated the Gold vs Platinum Membership. I don't remember the numbers, but to me the Gold seemed the best value! The Platinum seemed way too much... Plus I figured that if I paid the extra $$ for the Weekly Catalogue as a Gold Member I would find a suitable woman by the time it expired..... and I did! Actually the both women I did find and meet were Not from the Weekly Catalogue!! Being a Gold Member... 43 and with 3 Children I received about a 40% average Positive response from EOI's. Funny, some weeks it was 15% and other weeks it was 85%!! It boggles my mind why? Full moon??!!
I will tell you what Really worked for me... #1. I wrote to each woman who I was truly interested in, a Very Personal Letter. Very time consuming, but very fruitful!... #2. I Searched only for Women who were Good to Fluent in English!!! This is what worked for me! Women, no matter where they are from, Love a Personal Letter that they can Read and Understand.... hence the mailing to Women who had a minimum of Good Proficiency en Anglais. Of the two Girls I met.... both meetings were in 'neutral' territory, #1 Greece and #2 Punta Cana. Both meetings were Magical!!! But, the last one in PC was Magical, Sincere and Very Very Real! She is a Keeper!! The first Woman was Great, but she had nervous problems about coming to the West. I was honestly quite upset and I left Elena's to try  some other Sites... Anastasia's, CuteOnly and Bride.ru. After wasting my money on Anastasia I came back to Elena's. It just felt so much more Honest and I paid upfront.... not over and over again in reading and replying to letters that you don't know are real!! As I said earlier.... my Svetlana would receive Emails and Texts, from Men on Anastasia's, thanking her for responding to their emails that she had never seen in the first place!!
So KB, Elena's may seem Expensive from the Get Go... but in the end it's a lot less costly than going from letter to letter to letter!
My Suggestion..... New Photos.... Update your Profile.... Search for Women who are Proficient in English, Write Personal Letters!!!!

[Lily]

That ugly "P" word! Yes, Patience

I know - I know - Guess with looming travel dates fast approaching - was just hoping - and maybe 2nd guessing (outloud here) if this was the right choice for me - Nothing ventured blah blah blah... Right?

But the grasshopper will wait

KB, I looked up your EM profile and would suggest that you update your photos. JMHO you definitely need a close up face photo with a very nice expression on your face. As nice as possible at all for your face. Expresssive faces win a lot more!

This could be not easy to get, but you should try getting it. Do you have a camera with remote control option? You may want to practice close ups with different expressions on your face.

I am not saying it will help, but it would do good to your profile.

Lily,

Do RW think a man is cheap (possibly greedy) if he does not sign up as Platinum member?
 

It depends on the woman. Some unfortunately may think exactly so. Such women are known for being able to make a millionaire out of a man.....but only if he was a billionaire prior to meeting her   

I am very sorry to say, but there are women who sincerely think that it is a man's holy duty to spend, spend, spend money and even more money. To spend on everything. On her particularly. 

[Lily]

Is that I've sent out about 30+ EOI's - and of those sent, MAYBE 6 of have even been "read"???.... Makes me wonder if gals are *really* active on the site - ya know?
 
PS: If there are any Platinum Members - that are willing to do me ONE favor - please PM me.... as there's one gal that contacted me from the new section - but I have to wait 4 weeks before being able to reply.... :-(

Did you look up their response rate on the bottom of profiles? If the rate is low, you have not many chances.

This lady that you mention is apoparently new, and EM puts all new ladies in Weekly Catalog, therefore making an impression of some 'exclusivity' for Platinum men. I don't think it's wise from EM to do like this, as 4 weeks are a rather short time to develop any relationships. Those 4 weeks looked like a carantine to me.  When I was in this initial 4-week 'decantor', I only earned 2 EOI!

Btw, you probably should put this lady on your Favorites and see after 4 weeks.