Intimate conversations

[viking]

For those of you who have found, and married your gal, I would like to ask you if you ever engaged in small "pillow talk", a/k/a sexual innuendo, a/k/a phone/email/IM sex, during your later conversations. This would be after you met her, perhaps after you developed some "relations" (trying to be a gentleman here). Is this type of conversation usual, unusual? I know many AW enjoy this when away from their partner but do the same rules apply to a RW?

This not to address a persons level of morality but rather one of intimacy and being able to openly talk about those dreams one might have when being unable to be with her/him.

[ScottinCrimea]

This is a pretty sensitive issue so I don't think you're going to get much of a realistic response rather than "It's none of your business".

For my part I will say that, in the times that I was apart from my wife, even with daily phone conversations and web cam sessions, we never engaged in what one would call "phone sex".  Sure we talked about missing each other and sex in general terms, but never to a point where we were physically exciting ourselves.

[viking]

Scoot

I understand your point and it is a bit sensitive. And I hope I am expressing myself correctly. I did not expect anyone to comment on their very private conversations per se. And these types of conversations can range from "I miss you and send you a big kiss" all the way to the equivelent of a 900 number at $3 bucks a minute. I am trying to just understand if an RW can be open to a intimate conversation outside of a face to face, where each party can express certain desires caused by a longer term separation. There are threads here debating American prudishness versus European openness, or the types of of makeup and dress (hot looking) which RW are known for. More cultural than anything else. My curiousity was aroused (no pun intented) if anyone experienced this in conversations with an RW they knew well.

[KenC]

Viking,
I see nothing wrong with your question as long as you do not want the details!

Lena and I are very compatable in this area. And I give great phone!

We burned up the phone a few times probably hotter than a 900 number! :heartafire:
KenC

[Serebro]

KenC

I see nothing wrong with your question as long as you do not want the detaisl

I will write about the details.

Phone sex means masturbation.
If you get used to masturbation it's good, if you prefer alive people and a physical contact it's bad.
it's extremely bad if your lady doesn't have good English and has to consult a dictionary for  10 minutes' time every time you write something "sexy".

[Gator]

it's extremely bad if your lady doesn't have good English and has to consult a dictionary for  10 minutes' time every time you write something "sexy".

That is why I always did 3-ways calls using an interpreter with a sexy voice.     Sorry, Eduard, you would not do.

[MaxxumUSA]

Hmm...

Without getting into too many details...  I think it's important to be sexually compatible/attracted to your partner.  And...  I feel it is completely normal to occasionally have phone/webcam sex when apart.

There were times we talked on the phone and got each other interested and both raced home to meet each other on webcams to give each other the best minute and thirty seconds of the day.  LOL

Gator...  hmm...  three way video calling!  Why didn't I think of that!  That could be interesting.

[docetae]

Yes, it can happen ;P
And bad english can give good laughs on this topic...

[BillyB]

For those of you who have found, and married your gal, I would like to ask you if you ever engaged in small "pillow talk", a/k/a sexual innuendo, a/k/a phone/email/IM sex, during your later conversations.

Pike who use to post here had regular phone sex with RW before he ever met them. I think that is one of his requirements before commiting to a visit.

Personally, I'm not into phone sex but when it's time to perform live, I always try to please and give a performance to remember. One can talk the talk, but the important thing is can you walk the walk?

[KenC]

KenCI will write about the details.

Phone sex means masturbation.
If you get used to masturbation it's good, if you prefer alive people and a physical contact it's bad.
it's extremely bad if your lady doesn't have good English and has to consult a dictionary for  10 minutes' time every time you write something "sexy".

Serebro,
That may be true for you but not everyone.  Now what people do once they hang up is a personal matter!
KenC

[Serebro]

Serebro

Phone sex means masturbation

KenC

Serebro,
That may be true for you but not everyone

what is the point in having phone sex then?! Just to giggle?!

[Jazzyclassy]

Serebro,
That may be true for you but not everyone.  Now what people do once they hang up is a personal matter!
KenC

am laughing so much now 

Well maybe KenC has different idea of how to do phone sex haahhaha

[Jazzyclassy]

I think if people are connected by soul they do not need sex on the phone, though it might make their days brighter waiting for the day they'll meet, but I do not think it is that much of important
Cos real sex that is what important, person can have this phone sex on the phone for years and when the business will lead to something serious, am sorry he will be like oiiii I am not capable or something, nah we do not need such things

[mendeleyev]

Marriage brings on a variety of "intimate" languages.  My RW and I have developed a number of 'intimate' conversation levels depending on what the subject is about. 

As for phone sex, my wife doesn't trust the telephone lines in Russia to be private.  We have Skype and Vonage and she trusts them even less!  And her upbringing would also cause her to hesitate.  However that being said, I have no regrets about our relationship 'between the sheets.'  Life is good!   

When we married I made a committment that my use of intimate/affectionate/endearing Russian would be good enough to speak to her in her birth language, psychologists say it's the language of a person's heart, and I wanted our intimate times to be in "Russian."  So far, so good.     One time during a romantic moment she said that she wanted to practice English.  Practice English!  I retorted, "woman, this is no time for English."  She giggled and we slipped back into Russian mode.

To help answer the original poster, it probably depends on the lady.  That one is hard to know until you've met.  One thing is certain, sex has a way of taking over and getting in the way of getting to know someone....and getting to know someone is a fairly important thing to do prior to marriage.  I don't buy the compatibility argument--Its basic biology 101 at work.  Two people who deeply care and love one another can make that part of life very special by using the basic biology principles work for their own style/compatibility.

Regarding the guy who demanded phone sex before a visit to the FSU, what a misunderstanding of both language and culture.  Consider the nuances of language.  One can learn to speak something without understanding fully and contextually what it means.  I did that the other day.  Something flew out of my mouth that I instinctively knew was correct gramatically and my wife's reponse was "yes, that true.  And good Russian darling!"   Meanwhile I scratched my head wondering what the heck I had just said.  Just because a lady speaks in English doesn't mean that she understands in English.  And to ask a lady to engage in a sexual exercise, before she's ever met him, over long distance international phone lines, in a second language that she may speak but certainly has little context/experience for understanding, is mind-blowing.

[55North]

Pillow talk /sexual innuendo, also by phone and SMS - yes (if you are about to wed, and aren't doing that, isn't that a red flag?)
 
Phone Sex - no  (speaking for myself) (maybe an age/generational thing)

[Serebro]

Cos real sex that is what important, person can have this phone sex on the phone for years and when the business will lead to something serious, am sorry he will be like oiiii I am not capable or something, nah we do not need such things

I agree, phone sex is something unhealthy, IMHO, you can say a lot of compliments and sweet words but the word"sex" itself means that there should be something more and that's unhealthy .

[mendeleyev]

Depends on your generation I guess.  I certain am not under the delusion that a woman's lack of pillow talk is a sign that she is frigid, green card girl, etc, etc, etc.  In fact, a bigger red flag is a visa whore, one whose activity in the sexual arena might blindside a guy because he was too busy getting "laid" (phone or for real) to see the other red flags.

[MaxxumUSA]

I agree, phone sex is something unhealthy, IMHO, you can say a lot of compliments and sweet words but the word"sex" itself means that there should be something more and that's unhealthy .

Serebro...  I'm glad I noticed you put IMHO because it is only an opinion that phone sex is unhealthy.


IMHO -  Healthy is anything consentual and pleasureable to the two people in the relationship.  This could range from holding hands to whips and chains and anything in between.  Certainly "masterbating" live on a webcam is somewhere in between and hardly hits the 'raise an eyebrow' level on my meter.

[KenC]

Marriage brings on a variety of "intimate" languages.  My RW and I have developed a number of 'intimate' conversation levels depending on what the subject is about. 

As for phone sex, my wife doesn't trust the telephone lines in Russia to be private.  We have Skype and Vonage and she trusts them even less!  And her upbringing would also cause her to hesitate.  However that being said, I have no regrets about our relationship 'between the sheets.'  Life is good!   

When we married I made a committment that my use of intimate/affectionate/endearing Russian would be good enough to speak to her in her birth language, psychologists say it's the language of a person's heart, and I wanted our intimate times to be in "Russian."  So far, so good.     One time during a romantic moment she said that she wanted to practice English.  Practice English!  I retorted, "woman, this is no time for English."  She giggled and we slipped back into Russian mode.

To help answer the original poster, it probably depends on the lady.  That one is hard to know until you've met.  One thing is certain, sex has a way of taking over and getting in the way of getting to know someone....and getting to know someone is a fairly important thing to do prior to marriage.  I don't buy the compatibility argument--Its basic biology 101 at work.  Two people who deeply care and love one another can make that part of life very special by using the basic biology principles work for their own style/compatibility.

Regarding the guy who demanded phone sex before a visit to the FSU, what a misunderstanding of both language and culture.  Consider the nuances of language.  One can learn to speak something without understanding fully and contextually what it means.  I did that the other day.  Something flew out of my mouth that I instinctively knew was correct gramatically and my wife's reponse was "yes, that true.  And good Russian darling!"   Meanwhile I scratched my head wondering what the heck I had just said.  Just because a lady speaks in English doesn't mean that she understands in English.  And to ask a lady to engage in a sexual exercise, before she's ever met him, over long distance international phone lines, in a second language that she may speak but certainly has little context/experience for understanding, is mind-blowing.

mendeleyev,
Very good post!  You bring up many interesting points of view.  The one I did not consider when I first responded to the OP was having sex talks with women you have not yet met.  I only considered the question as how it would relate to established lovers.  When it comes to lovers in an established loving relationship, I am of the Maxxum camp of thinking here.  Whatever boundaries the couple mutually establish is fine.  It really is no one's business but theirs.

With regard to couples that have not yet met, it is a bit different IMO.  Some sexual innuendo is fine as it is just flirting.  But to get into a full blown sexually stimulating conversation, is a red flag from both sides.  It makes you question the true motivations of the parties involved.
KenC

[Zmejka]

We didn't have sex-talks on the phone or chat. Flirting - yes, some teasing, composing a scenary for James Bond movie - everything that goes around - but plain sex-talks i consider not appropriate on the phone, imho.

[MaxxumUSA]

We didn't have sex-talks on the phone or chat. Flirting - yes, some teasing, composing a scenary for James Bond movie - everything that goes around - but plain sex-talks i consider not appropriate on the phone, imho.

So you're a Bond Girl?

That's hot

[55North]

Ms Money-ruble.

[Gator]

Ms Money-ruble.

[Mir]

Just as long as you remember to remove your copper-bottom before engaging in sex, phone or otherwise.

[Jazzyclassy]

Just as long as you remember to remove your copper-bottom before engaging in sex, phone or otherwise.

 

Off topic

Mir , have not seen you for a while how have you been?