Back from Simferopol

[Daveman]

Not a stupid question at all. 

IMHO, get the third party out of the way as quickly as possible. 

Better yet, DO date a girl who speaks good English, and never have a third party.  In our case, Marina was fluent and we NEVER had a terp. Much better that way.

LoL, somehow I knew Simoni would jump on this.  And I absolutely agree.. DO date a girl who speaks good English..

Here's my observation. I think many of us have a different opinion of what constitutes "fluency".  Marina may have been fluent while still living in Ukraine (and I'm not inferring that she wasn't), but of the 150 or so (just a guess but I'd bet that number is pretty accurate) women from Russia and Ukraine I've spoken with via telephone over the last 4 years (scores of whom would SEEM to be fluent English speakers), the total number number of *fluent* English speakers I encountered, by my standards, was zero.  Of course I could understand them and we could communicate easily in many ways, however, complex topics were not easy for them.  Complex topics stress the non native tongue and 'dumb down' the communication process by dropping to the lowest common denominator rather than flow freely from thought to expression.  There's conversation and then there's complex communication.

For Larisa, I simply wanted to be polite and let her write to me in Russian, her native tongue in which she can express herself in ways she never could in English... revealing to me her real inner soul, etc etc etc.  What began as politeness just happened to have some extra benefits I didn't realize until later.

She did and does speak very good English, but even so, she *really* appreciated being able to write to me in Russian because it was so much easier for her to say exactly what she wanted in exactly the way she wanted. The fact that she appreciated it is reason enough alone in my opinion. YMMV.

Wow, so much for "asides"!    Really, I recommend it and I've given detailed reasons why.. if anyone else doesn't feel it beneficial (and I didn't either until I finally used one) then simply don't hire one.  No sweat off my popka either way. Heh.

Gator: Thanks!  Yeah, the winter fur was a must for me. I about froze my face off in Omsk, I wasn't going to take a chance on winter over there... funny thing is she's probably the only woman in FSU who likes facial hair.  She constantly played with it and asked me not to shave it again (though I don't think a meter long beard would thrill her either..lol... Daveputin! Extrasense Extraordinaire!)

[AnastassiaAsh]

There is definitely different stages of fluency: intermediate, advanced, fluent, near native.....and probably several in between. Before coming to the US i thought I knew the language pretty well, could lead a pretty deep discussion about anything i knew...it was more than enough to share my world with my man and make him understand me....
But when I came to the US - that's when true polishing began, that's when my speech became faster, that's when i started really thinking in English and having my dreams in English. That's when I started coming up with an English sentence much faster than with a Russian one. That's what environment does to you.

There's conversation and then there's complex communication

So true! Thank you Dave and KenC for your really nice words and honest and open opinion. I always try to help men to understand a RW's heart and desires.  It includes reading between the lines and understanding those 'hints' or moods or emotions or what she would say next...

[GoodOlBoy]

Yeah, the winter fur was a must for me. I about froze my face off in Omsk, I wasn't going to take a chance on winter over there...

Hello Daveman.

I just went back to page 1 and looked at your pictures.

Congratulations, she's definitely a "keeper".

Marina (my wife) is from Omsk.

Lovely city, but cold in the winter.

Welcome back home.



GOB

[Simoni]

LoL, somehow I knew Simoni would jump on this.  And I absolutely agree.. DO date a girl who speaks good English..

I did date a few girls who spoke hardly any English.  No talking, so spent all our time kissing and such...

Wait!  Maybe we should rethink this "date only girls who speak good English" requirement?     LOL

[Mars]

I did date a few girls who spoke hardly any English.  No talking, so spent all our time kissing and such...

Wait!  Maybe we should rethink this "date only girls who speak good English" requirement?     LOL

- - - - - - - -

Thanks for the flashback Simoni.  When I was just a teenager I got to go to Hong Kong.  If any of you have been there you know of the cable car that takes you to top of small mountain overlooking Hong Kong.  I went up there with a Chinese teenage girl who spoke zero English and I zero Chinese.

So what could we do?  We could only hug and kiss.  And we did a lot.  It was one of highlights of my trip.   And now makes me smile some 40 years later.

[Daveman]

I did date a few girls who spoke hardly any English.  No talking, so spent all our time kissing and such...

Wait!  Maybe we should rethink this "date only girls who speak good English" requirement?     LOL

LoL! Indeed!  Sorry I somehow missed this, Simoni.  Yes, the ONE non English speaking lady I dated was CLEARLY different.. um there was NEVER any physical contact whatsoever and actually, she was only a figment of my imagination and doesn't exist.  Heh.. (Warning, CYA situation in progress)

Mars: Aren't those some cool memories?  When I was about 16, I met a tourist girl from Germany at 6 Flags over Georgia (which is about 10 minutes from my house) who was there with her family.  She spoke about 20 or so words of English, and was butt ripping ugly (warning.. CYA situation,.. blah blah)...  That day is  one of my favorite memories from that era... man what a day.... which didn't really happen of course.

GOB: Actually Larisa is in/from Simferopol, though she did spend her childhood in Siberia. I can't remember the name of the area though.  The lady referenced above from my psychotic dream world was from Omsk.  I really like that city.  I would say that I met some of the coolest people on the planet there (including one aspiring guitarist and Queen freak who became a great friend and still keeps in contact).

And here's one for the detractors who claim we don't have the nads to post photos of ourselves..  I think I may have posted this before but can't remember. Anyway, GOB and a few others should instantly recognize this one.  It's not a grin on my face.. as the face freezes, it becomes twisted into some Jokeresque appearance...

Dave

[catzenmouse]

We've got pics of everyone in the family with her except me! I need to spend some quality time with her next time we're visiting family.

[ScottinCrimea]

Dave, You should have just done what I did and gone to Simferopol first.  It would have saved you much time, money!

So where in Simferopol does she live?  My wife is headed there next week so maybe she can check up on her.  Fell free to PM if you like.

[Daveman]

So.. I finally got around to writing up something... not nearly as interesting as some others, buthopefully this won't be a firestorm, though if it is, that's okay too.  So here goes...

I guess I should begin with a little background for those who are not familiar with my history here…

It all started about 45 years ago in warm yet incredibly dark embryo… maybe a little too far back… so, my normal approach was WMVO.  Three trips prior to this one without finding that elusive true love.  I was a member of Elenas Models.  I would write many ladies, narrow down to my favorite who seemed to also be extremely interested in me, and then go visit.  I would say I had three near misses. The ladies were great, we had great chemistry, but over time these previous relations just didn't work out for the ultimate long term adventure.

So, I took some time to clear my head after the last one, and then settled in to begin my search again.  This time I was interested in going with some alternate methods, e.g., ICQ, and just see what I could find striking out on my own.  I spent about two months chatting around on ICQ, also checking out various free sites such as Freepersonals.ru and others, and then one day just happened to wander into EM again to see what was happening there. That's when I saw Larisa's profile.  Actually, of course, her photo first and then opened her profile.  I liked her photos which were simple, normal photos which pretty much just showed her as a normal lady and her profile was such a refreshing blast of simplicity that I wanted to write to her. She came across as just a simple hometown gal, which if true, would be a pretty good match for this simple ole southern boy.  Sooooo, I renewed my membership basically to write to Larisa in the first week of January, 2008.

So, I sent her an EOI and luckily she had an interest in Studly Do Right and the communication began --  A few letters, exchanging numbers, and the daily conversations began in earnest.  When I ran into Larisa, I completely lost interest in corresponding to any other women.  For me, this one was really special from day one.  She really is a very simple lady who is also very intelligent and possesses a curiosity about life and everything in it which compliments my nature quite well. Then the kicker upper a notcher.. She also has a zany, off the wall, wacked out sense of humor to which Our Hero Yours Truly is very attracted in the opposite sex.  So far so good.  

Our phone calls increased to daily for several hours at a time.  While I can honestly say that I wasn't in love with a photo, I do have to say that I really had very high hopes that our meeting would develop into something very special. She mentioned that she had a vacation coming up in March, so we geared up for our meeting…

By the time March rolled around we were both very ready to meet and see what would happen… The travel day arrived and I ventured forth yet again into The Great Unknown to try my luck with a VO meeting.

The flight over was fairly non descript. Only the usual messing with the FSU flight attendants.  You know what I mean.  Asking for coffee when the juice cart rolls by,

"Coffee please"
"Now eet eez time for juice"
"Okay, I'll take chai"
"But now eet eez time for juice"
"Fine, Mango Lemon with Cranberry"
"Vat?"

And on it goes… I can't resist doing that  kind of thing on the flights. Probably about as funny as teasing a dog with food, but for whatever reason, I can't resist throwing a curve into their preprogrammed flight service. They have their ritualistic scripts which simply cannot be broken.  That can be a portent for learning how to deal with ladies in FSU.  Many FSU people are highly ritualistic. They have their rituals and ways of doing things that cannot be broken, even being assaulted by the most clever well planned logic.  Creatures of habit is what they are.  I used to think that they intentionally take the most simple of tasks and deliberately transform them into the most complicated progressions of events imaginable.  But really, it's all just daily ritual and habit.

And time passes by… so I was waiting in Kiev for the final leg of the journey to Simferopol, and I ran into a cool guy from California named Keith who was headed ultimately to Yalta to visit his fiancée (K-1 already applied for, but still in the waiting stage).  He is probably in his late 50's and his lady is a very nice looking woman, Vera, in her early 40's.  Hooking up and chatting, sharing photos on the computer, etc., can make the layover times pass easier and more quickly. So we bs'ed about just about everything while waiting on the Yak to gallop us to Simferopol.  I wrote down the address for RWD on a scrap piece of paper, but I don't think he ever made it here.

And time passes by again…  So, we land in Simferopol and the moment of meeting is just minutes away.  Keith and I walk over to get our bags, and I Larisa standing just outside the gate, eyes darting around trying to find me. So, I did what any red blooded moron would do, I hid behind the crowd, dodged 3,426 mad taxi assailants, and wandered out and behind her, then whispered in her ear "Boo!"

She spun around and looked at me, and I saw the eyes of recognition. She gave me a quick hug, and we went looking for a taxi.

Vera was there in her car and offered to take us to our flat but I declined because she wouldn't know how to find the address being from a different city, and well, Keith had been on flights longer than myself with still an hour and a half drive to Yalta ahead. So, I shot Vera with a tranquilizer dart to force her to stop insisting to take us to our flat, and then we parted company.

Now alone with Larisa, we with Larisa strolled our healthy organisms over to the taxi she had waiting for the short drive to the city.  I remember looking her over and she was looking me over very intently as we began chatting.  I also remember thinking to myself that she's a little different from her photos, not better, not worse, just a little different, but still very attractive to me.  So far so good.

The ride to the flat was pretty normal, just chit chat and the like. She did reach out and touch my hand while we were talking several times and showed a clear unambiguous interest in Our Hero, so the initial impressions seemed to be mutually satisfying.  

Then we arrived at the flat, which was part of a ground level house on Kunductorskaya Street just behind the train station. Nothing fancy, but rather a modest flat.  I always try to rent a flat by the month and get something less touristy and more like most normal people live there.  It's not the epitome of comfort, but does get me in more of a mindset of FSU reality and that's what I am looking for.  Also the price is quite a bit less expensive. I think the most I have paid per month was $400 in Kharkov.  This flat was $250 for the month.  It wasn't a bad place at all really.  No AC,  which isn't necessary in March, and did have a self contained gas powered hot water unit which also controlled the radiated heating system. The only drawback that I immediately saw was that though the apartment had been recently rennovated with nicely decorated walls and floors, the furniture seemed to be from Goodwill circa 1485 AD or something.  Very old and worn. Hmmm, so far so good… I think

Anyway, she had prepared the place with some snacks and food, as well as having a tons of food items her mother prepared and sent. We sat at the kitchen table chatting some more. That's when she burst out with…

"You are different man… I love different man!"
"What?"
"You are different from photos"

Ooookay. So guys aren't the only ones scrutinizing in this game.

"And what is different?"
"You are different.  In my dreams I see different man from your photos, but you are here now, and I love different man."

Don't be overly concerned about the use of the "L" word like that.  They have a couple of ways to indicate that they like something, and in those cases,  Love and Like can translate  the same with the difference being in the inflection.   But, they can be quite blunt and straight to the point.

So this was a bit of a shocker. She was obviously interested in me in the taxi, but what the hell does all of this mean? I thought "oh my god.. A fruitcake wacko from hell.. I'll have to break away first thing in the morning and move on to plan B.  So I simply said it.

"Okay, Larisa, I'm not offended. Tonight I want to get some good sleep, and tomorrow I'll make some plans to do other things"
"No!!!"
"What?"
"NO! You don't make other plan. I want to know YOU not different man in dream. I only say that dream is different and you are reality man. I want to know reality man!"
"hmmm"

Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek.  I was still wondering if she is crazy, but I was tired and didn't want to think about it, so I decided to worry about it later and get some rest tonight.

So far, so weird.. I mean good.

The next hour was spent chit chatting about various topics we had talked about and then I really became tired. I told her I needed to sleep and I'd call her when I wake up.  She surprised me a little by saying,

"You don't need to call because I will be here with you, we have two beds so I will stay here too if you want. If you don't want I will go home."

Really I didn't care one way or the other on the first day, so I left it up to her and she decided to stay.   So we migrated to the bedroom where the two somewhat small single beds were.  I sat on one and she came and sat beside me.  One thing led to another and we became a little intimate, not very, but a little.

Hey… so far.. So better!

   Then we just kind snuggled together there and she suggested that we turn on the TV for some music videos… I sat up looking around for the remote control. Her feet were at my back and she began to playfully nudge me and kick at me with her feet. Soooo, I did what any red blooded man with a mild foot fetish would do. I pounced and tickled her feet.

"EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!"   (crash)(THUMP)(eeep eeep eeep)

I cannot recall the series of events exactly, so I sent to Voice Bedpit Recorder to the NTSB office in Washington DC for analysis.  They confirmed the sounds on the tape as follows. The first sound is a giggling, playful Ukrainian girl.. The second was the sound of the bed crashing to the floor.. The third was the sound of a wooden footboard smacking into the top of an idiot's head, and the fourth was the sounds from small bird like imaginary creatures fluttering around previously mentioned idiot's head.

That foot board really smacked the hell out of me.  I actually saw a flash of light.  

"What eez eet? You OK?"
"Um, I think so"

So then I had to listen to her dance around the room singing "I am winner, I am winner! You want teeckle me, but I win! Ukrainian bed protect me!"

Ahhh, whatever…  soo far… sooooo gooooood.


So after a bit more joking around, we settled in for sleep. Of course I got the broken bed, at a 30 degree angle as the foot board mounting was shattered, but the headboard was permanently attached to the springs.  I didn't care at this point. I just wanted sleep.  To my surprise, the bed at that angle was really quite comfortable

And thus concludeth the first day of the adventure.

[Simoni]

Excellent stuff, Dave.  We love it!!!

And now we want more...

[Gator]

My man Dave,

This woman really liked you.  She could not restrain herself.  I base this conclusion on your words and your photo.

The two of you look very comfortable, a very important factor in my book.

It is good to read a successful T/R after JerryAviator and DaveyJ.

Keep it rolling please.

[ScottinCrimea]

Great so far, Dave!  I had forgotten about your tickle fetish.  Sounds like you may have some real competition, though.

[Daveman]

Hah! Yep.. Nutcase, Sick, AND Twisted.. the Trifecta Perfecta in any woman's dreams (cough cough). Where's that Fantasy Hammer when you really need it.  I related that aspect simply because it's what happened to induce the crashing of the rickety old bed (the first of Murphy's appearances on this trip). Don't worry, I'm not taking this into a Sex Report..

Thanks guys.  I have another segment about half finished. I'll get it up here in a day or so. 

Gator, thanks for the comments. 

It is difficult to describe that "different man" conversation.  What I gathered at the time is that she was saying that she liked (had feelings for) the "dream man", but the "reality man" was new to her and she does not yet have the same feeling.  I'm completely guessing. I have to admit, I didn't really have a clue what she wanted to say with all of that as what I wrote was a condensed, paraphrased version of about a five minute ramble of which I understood all of the words, but the context was nearly unintelligible.  She would alternately refer to both me and the "dream man" as "different man".  Whatever it was, I guess she got it out of her system because she never mentioned it again.  Gotta love those blurting thought patterns in translation.

[Daveman]

Well here's an interesting twist.  Funny how life has strange coincidences.  The day after posting this T/r, we seemed to have encountered some adversity of which I have serious doubts that we will overcome.  I will not throw in the towel just yet, but I think the writing might very well on the wall.  We'll see. 

Anyway, whatever happens, don't be concerned about me. I had a great year and if the worst does come to pass, then it just means that we really didn't fit together as well as I thought, and that's okay. Better to know that now rather than later after things would become much, much more complicated.  All part of the process. I'll clear my head, make some changes where necessary, and fire away again.   

I may continue this trip report anyway after a brief respite because some really goofy and funny crap happened on this trip, but for now, I need to do some serious pondering about everything and concentrate on what lessons I can take from it and how I can improve for the future, either with or without this particular lady.

Signing off for now,
Dave

[Gator]

Sorry to read that.  Good luck with your pondering and deliberations.

[ScottinCrimea]

Sorry to hear that things took a wrong turn (or perhaps the correct turn?).  With complete respect for your privacy, perhaps you could place the problem into one of the categies in Dan's survey of reasons for marriage failure.

[Simoni]

...we seemed to have encountered some adversity of which I have serious doubts that we will overcome.  I will not throw in the towel just yet, but I think the writing might very well on the wall. 

Sorry to hear that, Dave.  But I'm sure it will all work out for the best in the end, whatever that end is.

[Daveman]

Sorry to hear that things took a wrong turn (or perhaps the correct turn?).  With complete respect for your privacy, perhaps you could place the problem into one of the categies in Dan's survey of reasons for marriage failure.

Thanks for the words of support guys. I've thought about this for the last couple of days and from my side this is a recurring trust issue. Something is not being resolved because it continues to resurface with different symptomatic manifestations, but the real issue is the same.

Disagreements/misunderstandings we have had, which we have "settled" and are supposedly finished and moved beyond for some reason seem to reawaken without warning.  This causes my belief in her as a life partner to falter. And it also pisses me off because  to me it seems to be an assault on my character/integrity.  If it were simply this one issue, which I don't want to get into here, that would be fine. I can resolve this issue completely (I think) now that I understand exactly what she needs to feel secure. I am concerned, however, that the behavioral manifestations resulting from this one issue is a portent of future behavior.  That prophetic foreshadowing of future life in an asylum of spiraling accusations (a little melodramatic firing for effect). But seriously, I can't live in an environment where it seems, though without actually saying it, that I am sporadically inferred to be a liar and must prove that I'm not. This goes against every grain of my upbringing as integrity was instilled in me since childhood.  This also gets really old and annoying as hell.  If I say something, it is the absolute truth, and I have proved this to her before when she had doubts, though obviously not well enough.

I know moving to a new country is a big deal for any woman. To uproot herself and create a new life in a different place dependent upon a man for everything at first is obviously unnerving.  Believe me I understand this. 

Anyway, without giving specific details, I understand that any input would be completely speculative, so don't worry about it.  I am more or less just venting a bit.  The future at this point is uncertain, but whatever happens will be for the best.

I need to make her feel completely secure, and she needs to show me real trust.  I believe that's the bottom line. Whether it's doable is a different matter. We'll see.

Dave

[GoodOlBoy]

Anyway, without giving specific details, I understand that any input would be completely speculative, so don't worry about it.  I am more or less just venting a bit.  The future at this point is uncertain, but whatever happens will be for the best.

Daveman, vent on brother.

That's what we are here for (to listen). 

You are a "good guy" and deserve the best.



GOB

[Simoni]

Dave, no one can decide about this but you, since you are the only one truly close to the situation.

There are two chains of thought.  One holds that a blemish will only get worse under pressure, and that you should not settle for someone that is not "right" in the current circumstances.

Another chain holds that love grows, and things will only get better.

Which situation are you in?  You will have to decide.

As for me, there were some things I did not like in Marina.  But I knew she was a good person, and I knew she loved me.  Over the last three years, the negatives are all gone.  We are closer than ever, and I hardly remember the conflicts we once experienced.

[Chillidog]

Dave,

I'm new to this forum and all the boards in general. But I feel like I know where you are coming from. In 2006 I had met the most terrific Russian woman, made two trips over there for her, and she was able to get a Tourist Visa and was able to spend 10 days here with me and my family. At that point it was time to do the K1 but something in the back of my mind kept making me procrastinate.

and it was the same situation as yours, a trust issue. At various times, I felt my word/integrity were being challenged (or put to the test) during these times I would think is this a temporary issue? or was it more deeply seeded in that she had some security/trust issues?

but it began to feel like a 100 lbs weight hanging around my neck, something I just was not prepared to deal with for the rest of my life. so I said goodbye to this woman (and I probably increased these feelings of insecurity/trust in her) it was the worst feeling in my life, to know I was hurtng a truly good woman who was only trying to find a good man that she could love. For me it has taken 2 years to get back in the saddle.

Dave, this is not advice just sympathizing with your situation and only you know what is best for yourself. Take your time and in the end you will know which road to travel.

wishing you all the best

[Gator]

I need to make her feel completely secure, and she needs to show me real trust.  I believe that's the bottom line.

Some quick thoughts based on my real experience. 

This is not a chicken-egg issue.  Why?  Because I believe it is your responsibility to do both - to earn her trust as well as to prove she will be secure.  You are the man.

RW/UW have evolved as skeptics.  In fact, they trust very little unless it has been confirmed (and confirmed again) not with words but with actions.  Marriage and moving are huge steps, not to be taken lightly.  She is probably receiving a lot of questions from her family and friends asking how can she trust you.

You have known her how long?  One great meeting.  Sheeeesh.  Don't push her.  Dave, this woman needs your patience.  Now is the time that you should show her that you are stable and do not go into a tizzy over a misunderstanding.  Just tell her that you accept that she is not yet ready to trust you, yet this does not deter you.  Explain that you will not go away but will continue to try to do those actions which will earn her trust.

FYI, I encountered this exact trust-security issue with my Cossack fiancee.  In our case she spoke little English and when we had a misunderstanding, she tended to assume the worse rather than give me the benefit of the doubt.  I attempted to be patient, yet after a year of this, I gave up.

Thus, I will not guarantee that your woman will trust you.  However, I know one meeting is not enough time to conclude that she never will.

I will add that if love grows, her trust will grow too. 

Also, I think her skepticism is a more valuable trait as a life partner than an airhead wife walking around believing everything is just swell.

[ScottinCrimea]

Dave, I understand your pride in your sense of integrity and how insulting it can feel for it to be challenged.  Gator brings up an excellent point in that RW are natural skeptics.  It seems they have seen too many promises broken, from their government on down and they really need to see actions, not just words. I remember my wife at first never believed anything I promised her and I learned not to make promises, just do what I intended and let her see the results.  Knowing some of her history I completely understood why she would have trust issues and I just set out to prove that I was different. Over time she came to see that I was someone who didn't just make promises but actually followed through.  But at the time it bothered the heck out of me.  Also after some time had passed, if she questioned me I could say, "have you ever known me to lie to you?" and she would admit she hadn't. The questioning became less and less.

At this early stage in your relationship you may challenge that she has no reason to distrust you, but looking at it the other way, you still have not given her sufficient reason TO trust you, and that is the basis that she is starting from.  This was a bit foregn to me as I tend to trust someone until they show that I shouldn't, but it seems over there it's the other way around.

I think the key is to not take it personally as it isn't really about you.  I saw how my wife changed so I believe that this can and will happen.  They key is to not break her trust even once or you are back to square one or worse.

[Daveman]

Chilidog, your post reads almost like looking into the mirror.  The 100lb chain keeps coming back.  There is just something nagging at me about this. I don't want to jump the gun and blow it, but at the same time, I don't want to rationalize away a serious problem and by doing so cause a larger problem for both of us later.     

Gator/Scott: I appreciate both your thoughts and comments and I will take them to heart.  The T/R segment above is a description of the first day we met last March.  We've been together just under a year now with 9 weeks of face time and a billion accumulated hours on skype chat/video -- pretty much daily.  That's not a ton when considering marriage. The way I see it we should at the very least be on a higher plane at this point, and in many ways we certainly are. The spring visit would have put us at 12 weeks of face time for the proposal (if I were able to get the time I wanted and not have to do a condensed visit). 


Well, one thing is for sure. I'm not getting the result I want in this so I have to change my own behavior.  And I have already begun that part of it.  We'll see what happens. 



 

[Daveman]

Dave, no one can decide about this but you, since you are the only one truly close to the situation.

There are two chains of thought.  One holds that a blemish will only get worse under pressure, and that you should not settle for someone that is not "right" in the current circumstances.

Another chain holds that love grows, and things will only get better.

Which situation are you in?  You will have to decide.

As for me, there were some things I did not like in Marina.  But I knew she was a good person, and I knew she loved me.  Over the last three years, the negatives are all gone.  We are closer than ever, and I hardly remember the conflicts we once experienced.

Thanks Simoni.  I am seriously trying to look at this as the "will only get better" category and give her the benefit of the doubt, changing my way of doing things a little. 

GoB, thanks man, sometimes just writing some stuff out there gets the blood flowing to the brain a little better.



What is so completely stange in this, is I made a post here on New Years Eve while I was in Simferopol about how wonderful everything is, and the next day we had a spiritual uprising.  The day after I posted the first segment of the T/r, we had another episode.  If this continues, I think I will begin to believe her mother about the superstitions. 

Perhaps if I put up a massively negative post about everything, that'll get things back on track.