The Hot Husband pictures.

[Misha]

Sorry Misha,
I think you are delusional.  If you married a quality woman, the line to fill your shoes will be long and filled with guys of equal or better quality than you.  It won't be any more or less difficult than it was before she met you. 
KenC

Why am I being delusional? I am being realistic here in stating that a woman should not think that just because men are flirting with her that she will easily find the rich, young, hot CEO within a week of divorcing her "old fart"? Sorry, I don't believe in fairy tales. I agree, if the woman is still young and attractive, it won't be as hard, but it won't necessarily be easy either. Many guys are quite good at lying and deception, so the new guy she hooks up may turn out to be a lot less appealing once she is with him and really gets to know him. However, do you think all RW who marry foreigners are necessarily all that young and attractive? Not my experience based on what I have seen. And are they all "quality" women? Some maybe, but again not all. So, if a woman married married for a Green Card and thinks she can "move up," all I can say is "go for it." Let me know once you are married to the new guy how it worked out.   

[groovlstk]

for Misha:

Also (and I don't know if its true) there is an opinion that men who go to russia for wives are not the best you can find here...in that case you can't blame a woman for "moving up"

Marusya, I have little sympathy for old men who chase after young girls and then find themselves divorced or worse when she gets her green card. Yet however foolish this hypothetical man is, I would certainly lay "blame" at the feet of the woman who used him, as she is nothing but trash.

[marusya272]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.
A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?
And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

[KenC]

Why am I being delusional?

Because beautiful high quality women are always in demand.

I am being realistic here in stating that a woman should not think that just because men are flirting with her that she will easily find the rich, young, hot CEO within a week of divorcing her "old fart"?

Sorry, this is not being "realistic" but wishful thinking on your part.

Sorry, I don't believe in fairy tales. I agree, if the woman is still young and attractive, it won't be as hard, but it won't necessarily be easy either. Many guys are quite good at lying and deception, so the new guy she hooks up may turn out to be a lot less appealing once she is with him and really gets to know him.

Why do you continue to think that you are the last good man on earth?

However, do you think all RW who marry foreigners are necessarily all that young and attractive? Not my experience based on what I have seen. And are they all "quality" women? Some maybe, but again not all. So, if a woman married married for a Green Card and thinks she can "move up," all I can say is "go for it." Let me know once you are married to the new guy how it worked out.   

  There is a reason that your ex wife attracted you initially.  Out of all the fsu women available, you chose her when you were probably in the driver's seat.  Well, guess what?  If you selected a woman out of your league and brought her to America, she will be in the driver's seat eventually.  Up thread you said your ex had 5 lovers.  When was the last time you could say that?  And I got more bad news for you too.  If she doesn't find what she is looking for in those 5, she will get a another 5 lovers until she does find what she is looking for.  I am sorry, Misha, but a single RW on the prowl in America is almost unfair to the AM because they stand out from the competing AW so much. I am sure that my wife would have the creme D la creme to choose from if she were single.
KenC

[Misha]

Up thread you said your ex had 5 lovers.  When was the last time you could say that?  And I got more bad news for you too.  If she doesn't find what she is looking for in those 5, she will get a another 5 lovers until she does find what she is looking for.

Again, it depends what one's goal is. If it is to sleep around, then that is not hard. Then again, a choice Russian four-letter word comes to mind that describes that behavior. I personally believe that it is not easy to find someone to have sex with if you have no standards and my goal was not to sleep around. 

You write: "Why do you continue to think that you are the last good man on earth?" Where exactly did I write this? There are a lot of great men and there are also a lot of very attractive young women.

I seem to have struck a nerve Ken. What is it exactly that is upsetting you so much?

[Doll]

There is a reason that your ex wife attracted you initially.  Out of all the fsu women available, you chose her when you were probably in the driver's seat.  Well, guess what?  If you selected a woman out of your league and brought her to America, she will be in the driver's seat eventually.  Up thread you said your ex had 5 lovers.  When was the last time you could say that?  And I got more bad news for you too.  If she doesn't find what she is looking for in those 5, she will get a another 5 lovers until she does find what she is looking for.  I am sorry, Misha, but a single RW on the prowl in America is almost unfair to the AM because they stand out from the competing AW so much. I am sure that my wife would have the creme D la creme to choose from if she were single.
KenC
 

   
 

[KenC]

Again, it depends what one's goal is. If it is to sleep around, then that is not hard. Then again, a choice Russian four-letter word comes to mind that describes that behavior. I personally believe that it is not easy to find someone to have sex with if you have no standards and my goal was not to sleep around. 

You write: "Why do you continue to think that you are the last good man on earth?" Where exactly did I write this? There are a lot of great men and there are also a lot of very attractive young women.

I seem to have struck a nerve Ken. What is it exactly that is upsetting you so much?

Misha,
I am not the least bit upset here.  I almost think it comical that you wish so much bad for your ex (if it weren't so sad).  I look at her having 5 lovers as her selection process for a husband.  To each her own.  Whatever you say negative about her, she currently has 5 men at her beck and call.  She is attracting a lot of attention by your own words.  That attention will lead to marriage if that is what she wants.

The "last good man on earth" comment comes from your delusional outlook that there are not many good men available.  I happen to disagree.  And I have first hand knowledge of this too.  We have a 26 year old Ukrainian friend.  She is an attractive, educated and cultured woman.  The man that brought her to America tragically died of cancer, leaving her "on the market."  She has had men lining up for her ever since.  Young studs, older rich men and everything in between.  Are some of the guys players?  Of course,  But when she has the ability to pick and choose from so many men, I am sure there are plenty of good men in the bunch too.

I think that your hurt from your divorce is blinding you to reality.  You hope that she is having a struggle, but she is not.  To me it sounds as if she is having the time of her life right now.  When and if she will want to settle down and choose a husband, she will.
KenC

[oldernotwiser]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.
A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?
And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

I disagree with this point of view.  Reason, it is dishonest, it says things like I will stay with you while it is convenient, while it is to my advantage.  It also says that motivation of these people is only to improve there life, or lifestyle. 

Whatever happened to Love??

I know, I am a crazy idealist, and I should definitely know better. 

[KenC]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.
A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?
And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

I disagree with this point of view.  Reason, it is dishonest, it says things like I will stay with you while it is convenient, while it is to my advantage.  It also says that motivation of these people is only to improve there life, or lifestyle. 

Whatever happened to Love??

I know, I am a crazy idealist, and I should definitely know better. 

I am with you here Older.  Someone is lying to someone in the original scenario.
KenC

[Misha]

I am not the least bit upset here.  I almost think it comical that you wish so much bad for your ex (if it weren't so sad). 

I made the mistake of revealing too much. Mea culpa! Am I upset? I don't care anymore. I consider the best revenge is a life well lived. I am happily married now, and enjoying life as I have never enjoyed it before. Life is good.

[Vaughn]

Long ago I quit counting cases of deception I've known or read about. Very
sad that honesty takes a back seat to an agenda.

Vaughn

[Misha]

And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

You are right, we don't see "moving up" in the same way. I consider marrying a man simply for immigration purposes and then dumping him as soon as you can moving down ethically and morally. Call me old-fashioned if you will  Also, as noted, I concur that an attractive woman can find plenty of men to sleep with her. Properly motivated, she could easily find a few per day. She can find many men willing to date her in the hopes for sex as well. However, I don't value casual sex, and I don't like dating for the sake of dating. I prefer being in a committed relationship and having sex with a woman that I love. Sorry, I am that kind of guy, and clearly we don't share the same value system. 

[mspanky]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.
A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?
And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

  How do we know initially back in her home country,she did not find him a "good catch" comparing him to the others around her? Perhaps this women was sincere and family and friends made her believe she could not do any better and should be grateful. But change of country and other opportunities made her begin to compare the husband to others now in her present location.

   I will use an analogy here.I compare it to a poor foreigner who  liked in a crap house had the chance to come to the U.S. and make a good living. When they lived in the crap house, they probably looked at a house in her neighborhood many considered nice and thought how great it would be to live there as she was comparing it to others in her neighborhood. But as her world got better and opportunities arose, now her standards have also. The house she used to think was great in her country,is now barely passible since she is now comparing it to homes in her new environment.

   people change and it up to the men and women in this endeavor to be realistic. Marry way out of your league without at least having something special about you.  Such as top in your field,ambitious,great personality which has always attracted top tier women or whatever and you are asking for trouble.Both men and women are searching for a partner who is equal to them in some ways. Both are looking for bragging rights in their own way. Everyone wants the world to see what a great partner they were able to attract . Noone wants the world to think they attract low quality people. Especially beautiful women who compete with each other.

 Remember the song from the play "Sweet Charity"? the words are very telling and probably the same applies to a man who'se going to another country in search of a woman way out of his league. He wants something he is not finding easily on his home turf. She wants something she cannot easily find in her home turf.

 “If My Friends Could See Me Now”

Charity:
Tonight at eight you shoulda seen
A chauffeur pull up in a rented limousine!
My neighbors burned! They like to die!
When I tell them who is gettin' in and goin' out is I!
If they could see me now,
That little gang of mine,
I'm eating fancy chow
And drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract.
All I can say is "Wow-ee!
Looka where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam.
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!
If they could see me now,
My little dusty group,
Traipsin' 'round this million dollar chicken coop.
I'd hear those thrift shop cats say:
"Brother, get her!
Draped on a bed spread made from three kinds of fur."
All I can say is, "Wow!
Wait till the riff an' raff
See just exactly how

[Doll]

 Come on people! A woman with any amount of common sense will never leave the husband who takes a good care of her, who provides a decent life (dont' forget about sex  ). If a woman goes away then there is a serious reason for her to do it.
Misha I don't think anybody believes in your being an angel with white wings and you ex being a total b-tch.
 Come on! RW are not crazy to walk out from a house where she was happy (I mean satisfied).
Money, care,compassion, sex. Somebody wanted a formula? 

[Blues Fairy]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.

How desperate and shallow indeed she must have been to settle for such easily discardable "best option". 

[Misha]

Misha I don't think anybody believes in your being an angel with white wings and you ex being a total b-tch. Come on! RW are not crazy to walk out from a house where she was happy (I mean satisfied).

Well, I am the one who initiated the divorce, which she did not expect. Yes, my wife was not satisfied, and I gave her the freedom to seek out a better husband. My main point still remains: it is not always as easy to find the next husband as one may imagine. I will add that it is not necessarily easy to find a new wife. I will be the first to admit that I lucked out in that department. 

[mspanky]

  Mutual respect, best friend,happy together,mutual attraction and support .All also is needed.

[mspanky]

Well, I am the one who initiated the divorce, which she did not expect. Yes, my wife was not satisfied, and I gave her the freedom to seek out a better husband. My main point still remains: it is not always as easy to find the next husband as one may imagine.

  Wanna bet! My sister has found 3 husbands and now on her way to number 4 at the age of 42. ALL have masters degrees. She loves smart men who make LOTS of money. None more than 5 years older than her. she has left each and every relationship . Probably because she looks for the wrong reasons to get into them in the first place. Much like men who are looking for young beauties half their age . Shallow reasons breed shallow results.

Her new fiance is 46 and divorced. Has his own architect firm and lives in a house worth close to a million . Oh, he also has 3 kids which makes me think divorce #4 will eventually happen as she's not very fond of kids though she has 1 son.I always say she was born under a lucky star. Yes,she's very attractive for her age and has kept her body in tip top shape after her son was born. Also, she does have a circle of friends who are professionals which makes it easy for her to meet such men.

[Misha]

Wanna bet! My sister has found 3 husbands and now on her way to number 4 at the age of 42.

Again, I noted that it is "not always easy" as opposed to writing that it is "always not easy." These are not the same thing. I am speaking from my personal experience: I have known a number of RW that were divorced in my city. One left her her old husband for a young boyfriend. This did require some sacrifices as noted. I presume that she considers herself better off. Another woman has been divorced for a couple of years. Doubt she has had a date in the last year. However, she seems to be happy being alone. Another woman also left her husband shortly after arriving. Did not hear whether or not she was married, so can't say either way.  A number of factors come into play: age, attractiveness, personality. The local dating scene is also an important factor. Women, like men, must also avoid desperation: falling for the first guy just because he is available. 

[mspanky]

  I agree. falling for the first guy available is'nt very smart. But then neither is having to live with someone you don't love. I guess I see things differently . I cannot imagine having to live with a woman I did not love or had no attraction for. No matter how big the house or how much money she threw my way, to me it would be hell. I would rather be eating peanut butter sandwiches alone, than a lobster dinner with someone I did not enjoy spending time with.

 Though you may equate her happiness and success with being married. She may be happy being alone and her life may not be as sad as you think because she's ingle. The single life may be a lot of fun for RW living in the U.S.

[Misha]

I guess I see things differently . I cannot imagine having to live with a woman I did not love or had no attraction for. No matter how big the house or how much money she threw my way, to me it would be hell.

Though you may equate her happiness and success with being married. She may be happy being alone and her life may not be as sad as you think because she's single. The single life may be a lot of fun for RW living in the U.S.

Well, I don't encourage anybody to get married unless it is for love, and this is true for both men and women. I don't hold in high esteem women and men who get married solely for citizenship or financial reasons. If a woman respects herself, IMHO, she will stay in her country, rather than marry a man she does not love or is not attracted. There is another issue: if you are married, how much should you overlook? Perhaps, it is the former Catholic in me, but I do not believe that perfection can be found in this world. I looked for the best woman possible for me, and I am willing to overlook a few things. How do the marriage vows go in the movies: for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, etc....

As for being single and dating, I don't have any objections. I, personally, did not see dating as an end, rather a means to a goal. I dated to find the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I learned my lesson, and was not desperate the second time around: I waited to find a woman that I love and who loved me.

I spent a day camping with my wife this weekend. We took our pop-up to a nearby camp and spent a day roasting hot dogs on the fire and playing frisbee. It was wonderful. I would not trade that day for a year's worth of first dates and one-night stands. But, those are my values and what I consider "moving up" is not a universal definition. To each his or her own.

[turniptruck]

  How do we know initially back in her home country,she did not find him a "good catch" comparing him to the others around her? Perhaps this women was sincere and family and friends made her believe she could not do any better and should be grateful. But change of country and other opportunities made her begin to compare the husband to others now in her present location.

   I will use an analogy here.I compare it to a poor foreigner who  liked in a crap house had the chance to come to the U.S. and make a good living. When they lived in the crap house, they probably looked at a house in her neighborhood many considered nice and thought how great it would be to live there as she was comparing it to others in her neighborhood. But as her world got better and opportunities arose, now her standards have also. The house she used to think was great in her country,is now barely passible since she is now comparing it to homes in her new environment.

   people change and it up to the men and women in this endeavor to be realistic. Marry way out of your league without at least having something special about you.  Such as top in your field,ambitious,great personality which has always attracted top tier women or whatever and you are asking for trouble.Both men and women are searching for a partner who is equal to them in some ways. Both are looking for bragging rights in their own way. Everyone wants the world to see what a great partner they were able to attract . Noone wants the world to think they attract low quality people. Especially beautiful women who compete with each other.

 Remember the song from the play "Sweet Charity"? the words are very telling and probably the same applies to a man who'se going to another country in search of a woman way out of his league. He wants something he is not finding easily on his home turf. She wants something she cannot easily find in her home turf.

 

  How do we know initially back in his home country,he did not find her a "good catch" comparing her to the others around him? Perhaps this man was sincere and family and friends made him believe he could not do any better and should be grateful. But change of country and other opportunities made him begin to compare the wife to others now in her previous location.

   I will use an analogy here.I compare it to a poor foreigner who  had a crap wife and had the chance to come to the FSU and meet many interested ladies. When he dated AW, he probably looked at a woman in his neighborhood many considered nice and thought how great it would be to marry her as he was comparing it to other women in his neighborhood. But as his world got better and opportunities arose, now his standards have also. The woman he used to think was great in his country,is now barely passible since he is now comparing it to women in the FSU.

   people change and it up to the men and women in this endeavor to be realistic. Marry way out of your league without at least having something special about you.  Such as top in your beauty, youth, great personality which has always attracted top tier men or whatever and you are asking for trouble.Both men and women are searching for a partner who is equal to them in some ways. Both are looking for bragging rights in their own way. Everyone wants the world to see what a great partner they were able to attract . Noone wants the world to think they attract low quality people. Especially wealthy WM who compete with each other.

 Remember the song from the play "Sweet Charity"? the words are very telling and probably the same applies to a woman who'se going to another country in search of a GC or a stepping stone to move to other men. She wants something she is not finding easily on her home turf. He wants something he cannot easily find in his home turf.



Yes ?  No?  What do you think?

[turniptruck]

  Wanna bet! My sister has found 3 husbands and now on her way to number 4 at the age of 42. ALL have masters degrees. She loves smart men who make LOTS of money. None more than 5 years older than her. she has left each and every relationship . Probably because she looks for the wrong reasons to get into them in the first place. Much like men who are looking for young beauties half their age . Shallow reasons breed shallow results.

Her new fiance is 46 and divorced. Has his own architect firm and lives in a house worth close to a million . Oh, he also has 3 kids which makes me think divorce #4 will eventually happen as she's not very fond of kids though she has 1 son.I always say she was born under a lucky star. Yes,she's very attractive for her age and has kept her body in tip top shape after her son was born. Also, she does have a circle of friends who are professionals which makes it easy for her to meet such men.

Is this the measure of a successful FSUW? 

[turniptruck]

I wouldn't call her names just because she tries to make the best out of her life. When the older guy found her and she married him - obviously he was the best option for her. When she moved - she had more options around.
A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?
And Misha - we see "moving up" differently I guess. To me, if she makes a next step and dates a guy her age and enjoys it, being independent - she moves up

So then the solution is to not move her?  I don't quite understand.  It seems like the best relatinship the older guy can have is where her options are limited in your analysis.  So, in order to maintain a relatinship, he should keep her in the FSU?  Aren't you implicitely denigrating sincere people and encouraging sex tourists?

I've see "A man who marries a girl 20+ y younger is not going for "her beautiful soul" and "big heart" because he can find it in a woman his age. So what do you call him?"  in another forum and I'm not sure I really understand it.  Perhaps someone can flesh this idea out more.  I'm a slow learner

[mspanky]

  No, just a response to Misha saying it's not easy for women to marry high quality men. As you can see I have noted she marries for shallow reasons and this is why the high divorce rate for her. But there is never a shortage of decent men for women who are attractive. She need not even be sincere. But many men will turn a blind eye to beauty and a good body.

  We see this all the time with men traveling to foreign countries for a wife. many benchmark for success seems to be to date and marry women they would never be able to date back home. No different then shallow AM who think marrying a man with money and success is what it's all about. Both a recipe for failure.