I saw the documentary one year before I met my American husband
and watched it not long time ago again, and again I have found the documentary to be very useful.
In one of his interviews, the director of the documentary Michael Fainstein said that the documentary is not about how the international internet dating bad, working in US during 15 years, he saw many happily marred international couples, but he thinks that internet dating is absurd...
Honestly, I agree with him it is really absurd, and before to "jump" into this absurd
you should be in your right mind.
Dating and marriage agencies usually don't talk about other side of their business, they don't write on their websites stories with bad ends, they don't warn the women that among their clients more than enough men with psychological problems, liars and just simply kinks, and that it is very difficult to check everyone, and by the way they officially have started to warn men about women-scammers not so long time ago as well.
There are thousands of women who think as two girls in the documentary, who wants to marry American man just because he is American, in the Internet. Reading the stories about successful marriage and watching American serials they dream about easy rich life in America with the wonderful American husbands who put them on the pedestal as many dating agencies and websites promise, and they think if somebody is happily married, they also can do it without any difficulties and efforts, just because they also have the beautiful eyes.
Mother of the killed young woman Anastasia said in the documentary: "We are people who know nothing about life. We think that there, beyond the ocean, everything is not like here,
everything is much better" Wishing the best life for her daughter, mother being under her delusion indirectly pushed her daughter to the tragedy. May be if the mother saw a documentary that would be similar to "American tears of Russian wives" she would be more careful with her own fantasies and her daughter would not be killed.
Many women going to marry a foreign man and live with him in a foreign country just simply are not ready for it.
It is said in the documentary there is no need to go to America to be abused, there are thousands and thousands cases of domestic violence in Russia, but when you are in a strange country and don't know laws, where and whom to ask for help, more over you can not speak any foreign language it will be more difficult to protect yourself.
After watching the documentary I did not have any thoughts to stereotype neither men nor women, it would be too easy, to superficial and also to stereotypical way, I just thought the psychopaths and kinks exist everywhere, in any country, unfortunately. Sometimes it is so difficult to recognize them in your own country even if you speak same language, needless to say about the foreign kinks.
Please, guys, don't say that you have never met such men with the strange ideas, conceptions and so on who are looking for a Russian wife.
When you want to highlight a problem you will make accent on the problem, and Michael Fainshtein made the accent on the unsuccessful stories, but it doesn't mean he stereotyped all American men who are looking for a wife in Russia.
An attorney of the killed girl's family made a supposition: "may be these men, who seek a wife through the catalogs, have some problems...", honestly I hope his "may be" will save some women who are not able to think, but only stereotype, from the fatal mistakes.
At the end of the documentary Michael Fainshtein showed a nice American-Russian couple - Fred and Tatiana.
Fred said that some Russian women think that if they will not like their American husbands they just can leave them and find somebody else in America, more important is to come to America and stay. Some American men think that if they will not like their Russian wives they just simply can send them back to Russia, but the reality shows that everything is not so simple as all these men and women think. He also said that the most biggest mistake of some American men is their desire to incarnate their fantasy and delusions about Russian women thinking that all Russian women are submissive housewives.
Also Fred advise men who are serious about finding Russian wife to spend more time in Russia, and men should understand that they take a great responsibility when they bring their Russian wives to live in strange for Russian women country.
How to find your foreign soul mate, who understand what responsibility is? How to avoid all these psychopaths who are hiding behind photos and charming letters? How men can avoid a fraud and not to be scammed?
Just forget about your delusions, live in the real world, learn as much as possible about a foreign real world that also has its own good and bad sides, and you have all the chances to minimize the risk and avoid mistakes and prevent unpleasant situations. Be ready, be in your right mind and the absurd of the international dating through the internet will show you where is your happiness is
That were my thoughts after watching the documentary "American tears of Russian wives"
