Swisskids' Excellent Ukrainian Adventure!

[Swisskid]

Preface

Since I was divorced from an AW over 2 years ago, the thought in my mind as I was going through the motions of dating AW again was constantly "why am I doing this, I have the whole world to search for a woman".  It is true, there are only 150 million (or so) women in the US but there are approx. 2.5 billion in the rest of the world.  What do you do when you are unhappy with the quality of the domestic product or find the domestic goods to be generally defective?  Find an import of course!!  This concept led me to the path of traveling to the FSU in search of a new wife/lifetime partner.  How I arrived at this decision was a bit of a roundabout journey.

I was married for not quite 6 years to an AW who was almost 14 years my junior.  I was 39 and she was 26 when we married.  My first marriage and her second.  She was very pregnant at the time.  She was a supervisor at the Fortune 500 company facility where I was the training manager.  We worked different shifts but eventually kind of hung out with the same crowd from work on the weekends.  I had accepted a transfer in 1998 from our main plant in the Midwest to help start up our new credit card manufacturing facility in Chesapeake, VA.  I up and moved 1500 miles east to a new town where I did not know a soul.
 
I thought she was an attractive woman but I knew she had a boyfriend so I kind of kept my distance at first.  We became friends and chatted at parties we would both attend on weekends with mutual friends and Friday night happy hour concerts that the city of Norfolk would put on at a downown city park on the harbor.  This was a crazy time for me at work as we went from zero employees to over 500 in less than a year and I had to train them all with my newly hired training staff.  I was putting in 16 hour days at work for the first 6 months of this assignment.  Needless to say, most of the people I had met during this time in my new city were coworkers.
 
Over the course of that first year in Chesapeake, "K" as we will call her, broke up with her longtime boyfriend and started dating again.  I did not really pursue her but we more or less had the same group of friends we hung out with so we saw each other frequently at these get togethers.  She was a very nice looking blonde with a nice figure and a great sense of humor.
 
One Saturday afternoon I was at a party at one of my employee and her husband's house and who should show up but "K" and another new date.  I had to chuckle.  The guy looked like a hedgehog.  "K" seemed a little uptight and ended up drinking too much over the course of the afternoon and apparently vomited and passed out in her dates car while he was driving her home across town.  That ended up being her only date with the hedgehog guy. 

More time passed and eventually I asked her to be my date at a company outing with several big shot vice presidents from the corporation that came out to our plant to celebrate the successful start of production.
When I picked her up she was dressed to kill.  I was stunned.  I knew she was built but not that built.  Holy sh&t!!  We went to the dinner at a very nice restaurant on Chesapeake Bay and "K" was the hit of the party, hobnobbing with the corporate honchos with ease and just glowing.  I was smitten. 

Thus began my long, painful, and ultimately expensive journey into AW hell. 

7 years later it was over and I had my life and my sanity back again.  I won't go into the sordid details but let me just say that the words "bipolar", "obsessive-compulsive", and "undiagnosed, untreated mental illness" don't even begin to describe the issues this woman had.  Unfortunately they did not manifest themselves until well after the birth of our daughter.  We dated for over a year before she became pregnant and me being raised as a good Catholic boy, I asked her to marry me.  I was tickled pink to find out she was pregnant with a girl.  I have all brothers and my brother and his wife have all boys so it was really nice to have a girl for Grandma (and Daddy) to dote on.  She is 7 now and is the light of my life. 

[Swisskid]

The Search Begins

Of course after I split up with the ex-wife, all of the nice ladies I work with (85% of the employees at my plant are women) became dead-set on finding me a nice wife.  I was told right away that I need to get a Filipino wife because they will "take care of you for life".  Most of my employees are Filipino women and they are so sweet that I did entertain the notion for a while.  I am Catholic, Filipinos are Catholic.  The ex was Southern Baptist and her father is an ex-minister.  If you thought Catholic girls have hang-ups, they can't hold a candle to Southern Baptists preachers daughters. 

Every Filipino lady at work starts to tell me about her nice niece in the Philippines who would make a great wife for me.  I'm thinking like, yeah right they're just after green cards.  Then they start showing me pictures of their nieces and grandnieces.  Holy cr@p, some of these girls are hotter than sh%t.  Hmmm, they speak English in the PI don't they?  They may be on to something here.  One of my best friend's here in VA is married to a Filipina and they are very happy.  They have an 8 year old son who is my godson and just bought a beautiful house.  They also will be living with her parents for the rest of their lives.  4 income family allows you to pool resources and live very nicely.  That is the PI culture, you live with your in-laws.  My buddy seems to not mind it but not too sure it would be my cup of tea. 

I went so far as to agree to accompany my buddy and his wife on a trip to the PI just to check it out.  Then they decided to change their plans at the last minute and pay off some debts with their tax return instead of take a trip to the PI so I did not go.

So by now I have jumped back in with both feet into the local dating scene.  Things have really changed since I was last dating 10 years ago.  For one thing, women are bigger!  What the hell happened??? 

I read somewhere a woman told her date that "the average American woman now weighs 170 pounds so just deal with it".   Errrrr, no thanks!

If I can stay in shape and keep myself relatively fit, I fully expect any woman I date to as well.  I am almost 6' 5" tall yet I weigh 225 pounds.  I was a college football player (American football not soccer) and at one point in my life I weighed 272 pounds.  That will never happen again.  It is called "willpower" and involves actually contolling your portions of food and exercising, a concept that seems more and more foreign to Americans here in the land of all you can eat buffets and endless fast food and franchise dining outlets.

I went on some blind dates set up by well-meaning friends.  "She is really beautiful on the inside" should have sent me running but I always let my curiosity get the best of me.  That girl outweighed me for Christ's sake! 

I met a few AW over the internet.  Even weirder chicks there.  I did manage to date a woman from Richmond who seemed to have her act together.  She was 31 and going to VCU working on her Master's in Environmental Engineering.  We communicated by email for a couple of months.  She is really smart and we had wonderful conversations about world events, politics, and science and history.
Then she dropped off the face of the earth.  That was OK, things were starting to happen here in VB. 

I dated another gal about 30yo for a while.  Her father passed away a few months after we started dating and she moved in with her mother.  Her mother was the really clingly, hypochondriac type and wanted to take all of her daughter's time so that ended up not working out.

Now who calls me but the gal from Richmond.  Turns out she had reconciled for a few months with her separated husband but now they are split for good and she wants to meet me.  She finally sends me a picture of herself as I had never seen one before and she is quite attractive.  5'8" tall and about 120 pounds.  Definitely my type.  I am very attracted to tall, slender women. 

OK, let's meet.  I have my daughter for visitation this weekend, how about next weekend?  She has a 4 year old daughter and she will be with her dad next weekend.  Great.  I'll call you Thursday and we can decide your town or mine.

Thursday night I call her and we check the papers to see if any good bands are playing anywhere.  "Jimmy's Chicken Shack" is playing at a club in Richmond Saturday night.  Cool, I think, I like those guys. 

Then she blurts out " I'd really like to go camping". 

I had really been looking forward to going camping up in the George Washington Nat'l Forest with the other girl whose father died but her mother always found some reason she needed her to stay with her whenever she heard us planning a trip.

"Camping it is" I say.  So Saturday I drive to Richmond to meet this masters student gal in Richmond for the first time and our first date is a camping trip to Shenandoah National Park. 

I google map directions to her house and in 2 hours I pull into her driveway.
She looks great and seems very friendly and happy to see me.  This is going to be a fun trip.  We cruise west for another 90 minutes and as we crest on Skyline Drive, the sun is starting to set over the Shenandoah Valley.  We get our campsite and I quickly make camp.  I was an Eagle Scout when I was a kid so of course I have every luxury for a campsite.  She is impressed with the dinner I cook and we enjoy our meal with a good bottle of Cabernet Savignon as we watch the last vestiges of the sun drop behind the mountains. 

I spoke to the ranger when I checked in to the campground and found out they have a night program on park night time wildlife and astronomy at the pavillion overlooking a cliff over the valley.  We finish dinner and our bottle of wine and walk down to the program.  This first date is going way better than I expected, about perfect in fact.

The program lasts about an hour and it was really nice.  The view of the Shenandoah valley below and the stars above was very romantic.  After the program was over and the other people had all wandered back to their camps, we just stood together at the overlook soaking in the view and enjoying the nice cool breeze blowing up from the valley floor.  Yep, it was first kiss time and it was magical.  We held each other for about half an hour and then walked back to our campsite.  I made a fire and we talked and kissed and talked some more as we sipped some imported beers.  It was a magical evening.  No kissing and telling but it was one of the best first dates I've ever had.

We decided the next morning to take the back roads back to her place north of Richmond.  We went north on Skyline drive for about 25 miles stopping at most of the overlooks and then cut down a switchback road to a 2 lane highway back towards Glen Allen.  We stop at a roadside picnic table and she is quite impressed when I whip out my gas stove and cook us up some tacos for lunch.  We get back to her place and spend the rest of the afternoon together.  After it gets dark I cruise on back home to Virginia Beach. 

So it goes with the girl we will call "R".  We see each other once or twice a month for about 6 months.  We live 100 miles away from each other.  I visit her.  She visits me.  We take our daughters to the beach.  It seems fine. 

Then she decides I am not calling her enough and starts calling me at work.  I work nights from 1:30 PM to 10:30PM.  R starts calling me almost every night at my office and then she starts getting mad at me when I have to go to my turnover meetings with the oncoming shift management team.

R has now slowly been telling me things about herself that I had no idea about.  Her ex-husband is a musician and was addicted to heroin while they were married.  Yikes!

She is a telephone gabber.  I am not.  Some guys are just not telephone guys.  I am one of them.  I do not enjoy hanging on the phone for hours at a time.  Let's say what we have to say and get it over with.

R starts getting more beligerent in her calls.  She starts calling me when she is drunk and cursing at me.  I keep putting off seeing her again.  One night I have to hang up on her.  And just like that it is over with R.

So now it is winter and I have this newly minted US passport I am dying to use.  I have almost 7 weeks vacation to use up by January 1, 2009 so I am going somewhere overseas.  Hmmmm, where to go.

I am surfing the net after work one night and I see a site called Foreign Bride Guide.  It seems to be dedicated to men seeking wives from Asia and Latin America.  Interesting.  Their Russian women section has moved to another site.  OK.

I peruse the FBG site as a lurker for several months.  Philippines, too expensive to fly to and the peso has appreciated 25% against the dollar this year.  All of the Filipinos at work are complaining how expensive everything is back home.  They know because every year most of them suddenly have a relative back in the Philippines catch some illness that is so bad they have to go visit and take a month of paid FMLA to do so. 

OK, Philippines is out.  Where does the dollar still buy something?  Another friend of mine is married to a woman from Chile.  14 years they have been together.  She is absolutely beautiful and very charming.  She also threw a TV set at him when they had a fight once.  She says I should go to Santiago and stay at her mother's house.  Her brother Diego can show me around and introduce me to some nice girls.  Uhh, no thanks.  Peru, don't think so...

I read many threads about the wonderful women of Columbia.  Cartegena, Baranquilla, they look decent enough and there are agencies that appear to have some tall and educated women listed on their sites.  Might be a possibility....

Then I discover another site for foreign women.  It is the site that moved from Foreign Bride Guide and it is dedicated to discussion of FSU women and called Russian Women Discussion. 

Once I start reading this forum, I completely change my line of thinking.  Then I stumble on to Taz' saga of the (mis)adventures of JD.  I read his entire thread for 3 days after work.  I am dying from laughter reading this saga.  How does a guy screw up so many golden opportunities and manage to perpetuate the image of the "Ugly American" to boot?

By this time I have posted profiles on a few foreign women dating sites.  I started corresponding with one lady in Odessa in February and we seemed to hit it off fairly well.  Unfortunately we had to use an agency to interpret our emails.  So after a couple months, I am thinking, what the hell, a springtime trip to Odessa might be nice and if it does not work out with this girl, we'll call her "L", at least I can have a really cool vacation and maybe hit an agency or two while I'm there.  I speak not one word of Russian (OK one -  "nyet") and cannot even read the alphabet.  Oh yeah, this is a great idea!

So as I am moving closer to planning a trip by myself to one city in Ukraine, I just happen to read a new thread on RWD from Taz saying he is looking for traveling companions for a spring trip. 

Needless to say I PM'd him the next day.  It was a no-brainer to share expenses and soak up knowledge from someone who has pursued this endeavor for years and has years of experience under his belt.  I had to think about it for about 2 seconds.  I'm in if I am worthy.  I don't smoke, well a cigar once in a while.  Did I tell you they sell very inexpensive Cuban cigars in Ukraine?  More on that later...

OK, I am not a "raging" alcoholic.  Do I pass muster????

Taz and I emailed back and forth and spoke on the phone discussing various aspects and he then departed for his infamous "horse-kick" trip.     

While he is gone I am thinking what about "L".  Do I even tell her I am going to Ukraine because I will be flying to Kiev, driving to Mariupol, then to Crimea, and back to Mariupol and on to Kiev.  Nowhere near Odessa. 

It could be a once in a lifetime opportunity here.  How often do you get a chance to travel with an experienced person in a rental car with GPS maps of Ukraine and see the real country on the ground from a car, not a train or plane going to one place only?  Having the freedom to drive wherever you please!  Plus a guide that speaks the language and can read the street signs and knows the cool places to go!  Taz was heaven sent I think. 

I booked my flight on a Saturday afternoon.  It's on!!!

[Taz]

Wow! All the folks here are going to have some reading to do with a triple-play trip report going on; you, myrddin and myself. Keep it coming! Good reading so far.

[myrddin]

Keep it coming, SK!  I just *have* to know what happens 

I speak not one word of Russian (OK one -  "nyet") and cannot even read the alphabet.  Oh yeah, this is a great idea!

(Oh, come on, I'm pretty sure "da" and "do svidanya" were in there, too.  )

[Pike]

All very sweet!!  :-))

But a couple of things:

1) Is there any validity to idea that 'women are women, the world over?'

2) Did you notice many slender babushka's during your time in Ukraine?

[Taz]

@Pike - Of course women will have some similarities regardless of where they live because they are biologically the same. RW/UW seem to be better educated (at least the ones in their late 20's and older). I would note that the average RW/UW I met was more intelligent than the average AW I've met. Does that mean all of them are more intelligent, no but for some reason the ones I've met are like this.

As for babushkas, the turning point for the slender RW to turn into a Babushka is about the mid 50's or so. I think a lot of it is diet as much as genetics. They don't have the disposable income to eat the healthier foods and end up eating a fattier diet to get the necessary calories. The woman I saw this past trip, Lana, had an attractive mother. She was a babushka but still in pretty good shape and obviously took pride in her appearance even at her less than young age. I have definitely noticed that the upper class women still look pretty good even at an advanced age. They obviously have the money to have a better diet as well as be sheltered a bit more from the bad ecological effects of some of the areas.

Where I live few women over their mid 50's are slender. Vis a vis the Ukraine compared to where I live, the babushkas there are no fatter than here. I will say that the well preserved older women there are better than the well preserved older women here. I do have a good friend who came from Latvia who is getting up there in age. Since she came to the US about 11 years ago she's hardly aged and is still a very good looking woman!

[Swisskid]

I dunno Pike.  There seem to be very distinct cultural differences and learned behaviors in women from different regions, cultures, and countries.

I did see some thin frail babushkas going through the trash dumpsters near my flat almost every day.  On my last day in Mari I slipped one of them a 5 hryvnia note and gave her my last can of sprayable nacho cheese and a small can of salted peanuts.  I thought she was going to cry.  She made the sign of the cross to me and I just knodded and smiled at her and rode off on my Xootr Scootr.

[Ooooops]

OK, Philippines is out.  Where does the dollar still buy something? 

That's really something!      Honesty in its finest!   

[Swisskid]

Am I really doing this???

Taz goes on his "horse kick" trip and I don't hear from him for a couple weeks.  I am so glad I called him before I booked my flight as I almost booked the wrong one.  He told me to definitely book the one with the return flight out of Kiev leaving at 11:45AM instead of the one leaving at 6:45AM.  He told me the airport is 20 miles from the city in the middle of nowhere and it would be difficult to get a cab at that 3AM (and expensive) and the only other option is the airport hotel at Borispol which is $100/night for a room the size of a walk-in closet.  Plus, you will waste your last night in Kiev if you stay at the airport because there is nothing to do.  This is good information.  

My female coworkers think I am crazy to do this and do not understand and my male coworkers are envious I have the b@lls to chase my dream.  It is only 6 weeks away and I do not know anything about the itinerary Taz has planned yet.

I have told Taz about my contact with the gal in Odessa and he immediately tells me there are red flags.  Not red flags so much I guess, but 3 things that could be detrimental to a relationship.  First, she has only a high school education.  Second, she does not speak English.  Third, she has a 7 year old son.  But she is really hot, I protest, and email him some pics of her.  Taz agrees she is indeed easy on the eyes but since higher education is so easily and cheaply available, high school only is a red flag to him.  I see his point.  He also says basically once you get there you will forget all about her because there will be so many other choices with education, no kids, and better English skills.  He makes another good point.  He recommends I dump her.  He is right of course but since I have invested about 2 and one half months of emails every other day with this gal and $140 in translation fees, I ignore his advice.  We have had excellent conversations and she seems very sincere and sweet.  On the other hand, I may be corresponding with Fat Yuri for all I know.

I read RWD threads almost daily in preparation for my trip.  I dutifully shave off my mustache I have had for 25 years when I read that Ukraine woman do not like facial hair and I cut my hair shorter than it has been since my dad made me and my brother have crew cuts in the 1960's.

I go to work and the women all tell me I look 10 years younger.  I find this ironic since the reason I grew the moustache in the first place was to look older and now I shave it off 25 years later to look younger.  

As I suspected my upper lip is totally white compared to the rest of my face.  I have 6 weeks to get some sun and even my face out.

I read that I must dress nicely over there.  Taz had explained this to me before he left on his trip.  I asked him about jeans and he said not to bring them unless they are black.  Great, I do not own any black jeans (yet).

I ask him about luggage.  He recommends a large wheeled duffle that will hold the scooter and lots of other stuff.  I went out and bought a Xootr Scootr with the birch deck after Taz told me what great transport they are over there in urban settings and that they are great conversation starters with the random ladies you may meet on the street.  I am soooo glad I took his advice on this one.  These scooters are not cheap.  I bought the cheapest package deal with wood decked scooter, ergo pin, carrying strap, and carrying bag for $229.00 and the total was about $252 shipped to my door.  Worth every penny.    

I got the scooter and was totally stoked.  This thing is cool as sh#t!  I practice riding it for a few weeks as it is not as easy as you think it might be and I am a pretty big guy.  These things are incredibly well-engineered and you can really get moving on them.

I decide that I need to buy all new clothes after going through my closet.  I hit the Marshalls, TJMaxx, and Kohls near my house and find all kinds of great deals on shirts and slacks.  I buy all new dress socks, undershirts, and and underwear too.  I dig out my old suede jacket and think I'll just take it to the cleaners and I can wear it over there and leave it because I want to buy one of those cool Russian mafia-Tony Soprano black leather trenchcoats.  Taz tells me excellent leather products from Poland are available and I can get my trenchcoat for about $100.  My ex-wife gave me that suede jacket and I don't want to look at it anymore.  I'll give it to some bum in the street over there and make his day.

I find a nice red wheeled duffle on Ebay for less than $50 that is the exact maximum linear inches that Northwest will allow without extra charges.  Awesome.  I dig out my old garment bag and decide it is too ratty to use so I pick up a nice wheeled garment bag at Kohls.  So far so good.

I load up on snack food.  2 pounds of beef jerky, 4 cans of sprayable nacho cheese, instant coffee, mixed nuts, cashews, peanuts, atomic fireballs, Triscuits, gorp, dried apricots, etc.  Everything a guy would need to survive 18 hours on a plane and for a day or two in a flat.  

Taz finally calls me after returning from his trip.  I ask him how it went.  He says he would rather not talk about it.  OK.  No problem.  It was not until I read his trip report a few weeks later that I understood why.

Taz starts to make our arrangements for apartments, rental car, itinerary.  I can't thank him enough for all of the time and effort he put into this.  He negotiated smokin' deals on pretty much everything.  I send him a check for deposits that he has wired all over the damned place.

Taz emails me some agency sites and tells me to start looking at women and working on a profile to send the agency owners.  Thankfully he dresses up my profile a little before sending it on to the agencies.  I manage to pick 12 ladies from each agency that I like and would be interested in meeting.  No small task for sure.  It is hard to narrow it down, there are so many.....  I focus most on the ones who have friendly looking smiles in their profile pictures rather than the ones that are trying to look sultry or sexy.

Only a few weeks to go and I read Taz' trip report and find out about the horse kick.  I call him up and ask him "are you f%ck!ng OK"?!?!?  He says his head still hurts alot but the trip is still on.  He truly is a Taz.  Nothing fazes this man.

It is less than a week to go and I have managed to get my witch ex-wife let me have my 6 year old daughter for 2 weekends visitation in a row since I will be gone for the next 2 weekends and she will have her.  She wants to go for a bike ride and I take my Xootr Scootr.  I have been riding it now for almost a month with no issues so my confidence level is pretty high.

I am following my daughter around the block on her bike and moving at a pretty good clip.  We come to a driveway and a huge SUV is blocking the sidewalk.  I carry my speed down the driveway and notice a rise where it meets the street.  I attempt a little hop but mistime it and my front wheel jams against the rise and I stop cold and go over the handlebars into the street.  I land with the full weight of my upper body on my left hand, smashing it hard against the asphalt.  My little girl sees this and is pretty rattled.  I compose myself and jump up to my feet and try to act like nothing happened.  "I'm Ok honey" I tell her as I am grimacing from the intense pain in my left hand.  I start moving all of my fingers and they work but it is already starting to swell.  We go back to my house and I put ice on it but the swelling has already enveloped the entire top of my hand.  I can't tell if anything is broken but I know I really stretched the tendons of my pinkie and index finger almost to the breaking point.  Of course I do not go to the doctor....

The next day my hand is extremely swollen but all of my fingers work so I just take it easy and wait for the swelling to go down.  This takes days.

I forget to take my suede coat to the cleaners until a week before I leave and one place says 3 weeks and another says 2 weeks to clean it so I decide I need to buy a black leather coat here.  I find a nice one at Burlington Coat Factory for $99 spring clearance sale, reg. price $199.  Hand still swollen and hurts like hell.

I take the day before I leave off of work and I am very glad I did.  I end up packing way more than I planned and end up with a large wheeled duffle, large garment bag, small duffle carry on, and a leather computer.  So much for traveling light.  Taz shoots me an email and states that my dance card is filling up.  Two other guys will be traveling with us and I find out that the infamous JD is one of them.  Cool.

The day has finally arrived.  I purposely took a later flight out of Norfolk to avoid the hellish traffic around here during rush hour.  My buddy from work drops me off at the airport (ORF) at 2:15PM and my flight leaves at 4:30PM.  It is an easy 10 minute drive from my house and traffic is light just as I had hoped.  I still can't believe I am doing this.  It is like everything is moving in slow motion....

We pull up and I jump out.  I grab my bags and say goodbye and head inside.  The line is nice and short and I have my 2 bags checked in within 10 minutes.  My brother thinks I am crazy for checking bags on an international flight and I wonder if I will see either bag ever again.  I had no choice as I bought 10 sets of new shirts and pants, one for each day I am in Ukraine.  Plus the bag with the Xootr Scootr.

I head to security and go through in 5 minutes.  I find my gate and locate the nearest bar.  I am not real crazy about flying since I witnessed the airline crash in Sioux City, IA many years ago.  I was driving back from my buddy's cabin on the Missouri River near Yankton, South Dakota on I-35 south when they broke in on the radio that an airliner had lost hydraulic pressure and was trying to land at the Sioux City airport and to be aware because it could crash anywhere.  The airport is right off of the freeway south of town and when I drove by the airport, the plane was burning and they were still pulling bodies out.  I'll never forget that smell of jet fuel and burned flesh.  Luckily about half the passengers survived but over 100 died.  I have not enjoyed flying since so I usually imbibe in a cocktail or 2 to calm my nerves before I get on a flying human cattle car with millions of moving parts and miles of electrical and hydraulic lines.          

The plane is on time and only 3/4 full.  In a little over 2 hours I am in Detroit.  Now I have 3 and a half hours to kill.  I locate my gate and start wandering around looking for a place to get some dinner.  Jackpot!  I find a Jose Cuervo Cantina.  My kind of place.  They have about a dozen televisions with different baseball games and ESPN on.  Ahhhhhh.  An open table by the window out to the terminal.  I can watch all of the stewardesses walk by.  The food is great as are the margaritas.  They have a special if you buy a margarita they give you a shot of Cuervo Gold for $3.  Hook me up.  I am finishing dinner when Taz calls and I'm sure he can tell I am feeling no pain at the moment.  See you in Amsterdam.

 Supposedly JD is on my flight to Amsterdam.  I have no idea what he looks like other than he is tall and about my age.  Come to think of it I have no idea what Taz looks like either.  Taz has my pictures from the profile I sent him to forward to the agencies.  He'll find me.....

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Taz had gone into mine and JD's reservations and put us sitting together.  Or so he thought.....

It is time to board the Airbus 330 which by the way is an awesome plane.  More on that later.  I get to my assigned seat and there is a Hindu dude sitting in my seat with about 5 kids next to him and then his forlorn-looking wife at the other end of the kids.  "Please sir, I beseech you, they put my family all not together all over the plane.  I beg you sir please let my family have your seat so we can be together, pleeeeeease".  I look at the seat he is supposed to have and it is not an aisle seat like mine.  I am almost 6ft. 5 inches tall and I need any legroom I can get.  I look at him again and his eyes are almost popping out of his head.  OK.  Fine...  I am an Eagle Scout and we are supposed to do a good turn daily.  This is a lifelong thing.  You can be my good deed for the day.  I take this guys assigned middle row seat the row in front of my assigned AISLE seat.  He thanks me profusely and I keep my fingers crossed that the plane is not a full load.

About 2 minutes later this huge guy comes in from the other aisle and looks at me, looks at his ticket, looks at me again, makes a face like somebody farted, and sits next to me.  He is a stocky guy about 6 feet tall and 300 pounds easy and I have shoulders that stick out over both sides of my seat.  After about 10 seconds I decide to move over one seat to the aisle and hope for the best because there is no way me and Bubba there are going to make it to Amsterdam in those seats.  I luck out and nobody shows up to claim my seat.  They close up the  plane, give their little demos, and we are in the air.  Cool, on time again.  

Suddenly I feel something kicking me in the back.  It is the Hindu dudes' 3 year old son who is now in the seat I was supposed to have right behind me.  This kicking will go on for the next 9 hours.......

Like Taz says, no good deed goes unpunished....      


            

[Simoni]

Cool report, SK!  Keep it coming...

[felix8787]

Very good report Swiss. When you guys were in UK, I was in Russian from May 8 to June 3.

felix8787

[myrddin]

Taz goes on his "horse kick" trip and I don't hear from him for a couple weeks.

That was tough.  I remember one message soon after he got back that was essentially "interesting trip, I almost died. Talk more later." 

I didn't want to pry or interrupt recovery, but that was a really tough time.  Enough for me to imagine about 43,000 scenarios, all of which made me wonder if I should go at all!

I dutifully shave off my mustache I have had for 25 years when I read that Ukraine woman do not like facial hair and I cut my hair shorter than it has been since my dad made me and my brother have crew cuts in the 1960's.

I go to work and the women all tell me I look 10 years younger.  I find this ironic since the reason I grew the moustache in the first place was to look older and now I shave it off 25 years later to look younger.  

As I suspected my upper lip is totally white compared to the rest of my face.  I have 6 weeks to get some sun and even my face out.

Heh heh, my goatee has come and gone over the years, so I wasn't that bad off.  Haircuts are kind of traumatic for me, though   

I recently cut my hair again, shorter than it's been in 20 years.  So far, the reviews are 100% positive.  Is someone being paid off?  Nothing's 100 percent!   

I read RWD threads almost daily in preparation for my trip. 

!!!  I highly recommend this for newbies!

[Pike]

RW/UW seem to be better educated (at least the ones in their late 20's and older). I would note that the average RW/UW I met was more intelligent than the average AW I've met. Does that mean all of them are more intelligent, no but for some reason the ones I've met are like this.

- - - - -

Taz, there is a thread in the Experienced Section concerning Intelligence of FSU women with several posts related to Education also.  Perhaps  you could read that thread and post your comments and counter points there.

[Pike]

As for babushkas, the turning point for the slender RW to turn into a Babushka is about the mid 50's or so.


I would say, on average  it is more like mid 40's or so.

Where I live few women over their mid 50's are slender. Vis a vis the Ukraine compared to where I live, the babushkas there are no fatter than here.

Yes, but this was my point.  For those who have slender woman as ONE of their criteria, will they get long lasting results from a FSU woman.

[turniptruck]

That's really something!      Honesty in its finest!   

Please elaborate...I think that there may be a miscommunication here.

[ScottinCrimea]

Please elaborate...I think that there may be a miscommunication here.

I understood her insinuation perfectly and appreciated the humor.

[Ooooops]

Quote from: turniptruck on Today at 06:50:00 PM

Please elaborate...I think that there may be a miscommunication here.

I understood her insinuation perfectly and appreciated the humor.

Oh, good!   Nothing is worse than trying to explain a joke.   

[Taz]

Sometimes people don't understand jokes or in one culture it maybe a joke but not in another one. Of course some people are easily offended in which case nothing might be a joke to them.

Then again a name llike Ooooops is a joke to many of us.

[Ooooops]

Then again a name llike Ooooops is a joke to many of us.

It's good when people are so easily amused.   

[Taz]

I know I am very easily amused. I traveled with JD, SwissKid and myrddin in one car. If I wasn't easily amused I'd have gone crazy already. Of course when I see your name here I can't help but think about Britney Spears. 

[dneid]

It's good when people are so easily amused.   

I gotta be honest, Ooooops (I think I got enuff o's in there), I really like your sense of humor.  Please keep posting.

[Taz]

Now who is easily amused? 

[Ooooops]

Of course when I see your name here I can't help but think about Britney Spears. 

Hope you keep tissues handy.   

[Ooooops]

I gotta be honest, Ooooops (I think I got enuff o's in there), I really like your sense of humor. 

Well, glad to hear that.   

[dneid]

Now who is easily amused? 

Hey, Taz,
Good to see you posting again.  The TRs are great and I am looking forward to reading your's as well.  I just have to ask.... did you leave JD's body somewhere in Ukraine or did he make out alive?