Positive Advice For Newbies

[GreginGa]

The AM has a much bigger risk and it isnt even close. They run the risk that their wife will look like every other babushka that they've ever saw. You know the ones with the long dress and scarf over her head. Please dont tell me there isnt risks involved for us.

[Ooooops]

Poor kids!

Yep...    It's like going to Moscow is the same as going to a dinner party with some cannibals...   

All risks that guys are taking are financial.   Yes, sure it hurts to loose money, but does it really matter who you loose it to - Jane from next street or Natasha from Russia? 

[Ooooops]

Maxx's wife filed DV charges and forever ruined his life.

Well, yes, that's a risk.   But again - it can be filed by an American woman just as well.   

[Ooooops]

Quote from: Misha on Yesterday at 10:34:42 AM
That is invariably the problem IMHO. They should be traveling there because they enjoy the country, the people, the culture.

Misha,
Yeah, right.   Good luck with that thought!
KenC

Ken, if guy doesn't enjoy "the country, the people, the culture" why did he choose to marry a Russian and not, say, an Egyptian?   Strictly for looks?   

[Eduard]

Ed,
You got to be kidding?  If you are serious, then this has to be the single dumbest post ever made on RWD! :selfharm:  Inconvenient?  That is like saying it is inconvenient for a man not to have wings (or a parachute) after jumping from a plane.
Finding, courting, marrying and maintaining a good relationship with a woman from Russia is only about 100 times more difficult than a local woman.  For specific details read 136,781 posts I/O references.
KenC

Ken,
a few pages later, I still haven't received the answer to my questions to you. You were very quick to insult me, yet I haven't heard much proof that marrying a RW is a 100 times more risky than an AW. let's keep in mind that you don't have the monopoly on knowledge and wisdom when it comes to finding and marrying a RW. many men have done it and I'm sure each one had his own experience and opinion on the subject.
Let's keep in mind that just like you, I found my wife in the FSU, courted her, brought her here on a K-1 visa, married her, had a baby with her and living a happy and fulfilling life with her. So I might know a thing or two about the process and what it takes. Like many others when I first started I encountered scammers, agency BS etc. Obviously being a native Russian speaker it was a lot easier for me to figure things out, to separate fantasy from reality. But IMO any man who's got common sense and is not lazy to do his research (i.e. participating in a forum like RWD) can figure things out and learn to separate reality from fiction, don't you think? As I mentioned before, the language barrier issue can be easily solved by using any competent interpretor.
One issue was brought up - the limited courting, face to face time, is legitimate, but I wouldn't necessarily consider it more risky. let me explain:
When a man and a woman meets locally there might be an immediate spark, chemistry, people quickly get involved in a sexual relationship and they truly don't get to know each other well since all those things can really cloud your judgement, you fall in love with a body, get addicted to having sex with this person, etc. Haven't you ever heard anyone saying: "I've been married to this person for 8 years and I didn't know him/her at all!!!" ?
I think the fact that before you meet a woman living in another country you will have an opportunity to get to know each other by writing letters can be beneficial. After people get comfortable with each other (after several letters) they tend to open up and share thoughts and feelings that they could never tell each other in a face to face conversation. So writing each other for a couple of months can actually help you get to know each other better than if you met a woman at a local bar or wherever... you get the point.
I personally talked to my wife for 4 months before we met. By the time I came to Russia to meet her we both knew each other like as if we grew up together!
Communication is the key. I've talked to many women when I was looking for my wife and usually after a few letter exchanges either a woman lost interest in me, or I lost interest in her, or she wrote something that set off red flags and I decided to drop her.
This is why I don't feel that shorter courting period is more risky IF YOU FIRST GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER ON LINE. Take time to get to know each other before you meet! Eliminate doubts and misstrust! Then just let the chemistry decide weather you are right for each other.
Again, certainly some aspects of marrying an RW are more difficult than a local woman, but I wouldn't say "More Risky"
below I will paste my questions in response to your post on the first page of this thread that you haven't answered:
Questions:
1) If finding a wife in Russia is a 100 times more difficult than locally, why did you not find one locally? Why go through all the trouble? Are you saying that you could have found a girl as young and beautiful as your wife and as loyal and family oriented here in the US, and the process would have been a 100 times easier?

2) The courting part would be more difficult, but that wasn't my question. How is it more risky? That was the question. (I elaborated on this above)

3) Marrying: yes more difficult, but how is it more risky? I would think that a man in his 40s of say average looks, marrying a beautiful 21 year old American girl, is probably exposed to as much or more risk?

4) And lastly, "maintaining a good relationship with a woman from Russia is only about 100 times more difficult than a local woman." This one is also very confusing to me...if this would really be the case why in the world would you do this to yourself???
I guess the risk factor is more clear hear...cardiac arrest from constant stress of living with, and struggling to maintain a good relationship with that beast from Russia...

the quote from you in #4 is particularly strange and even offensive to me. I'm sure that many RW will find this statement offensive as well... I wonder what your wife thinks of how difficult it is to maintain a good relationship with AM? And of this statement of your's?

[KenC]

Ed,
I answered you question in detail.  Please reread it.
KenC

[KenC]

Can you imagine being constantly badgered, trying to sort through a incessant stream of inane comments, having one's words twisted if not ignored, saying something intelligent and not being acknowledged, escaping to another room for peace and quiet only to be followed, etc.

Geez Gator,
Spoken like a married man!
KenC

[KenC]

Well, yes, that's a risk.   But again - it can be filed by an American woman just as well.   

Oops,
This tactic is employed by fsuw with the motivation of an instant green card.  There is no such motivation for AW.

Misha,
Yeah, right.   Good luck with that thought!
KenC


Ken, if guy doesn't enjoy "the country, the people, the culture" why did he choose to marry a Russian and not, say, an Egyptian?   Strictly for looks?  

hint hint It is strictly for the women!!!!!!!!!!!  The fsu is the only area that is covered by the MOB industry with Caucasian women.
KenC

[Ooooops]

This tactic is employed by fsuw with the motivation of an instant green card.  There is no such motivation for AW.

Why not?   It would look nice in a divorce court.   

hint hint It is strictly for the women!!!!!!!!!!!  The fsu is the only area that is covered by the MOB industry with Caucasian women.

I wonder why?...

[Misha]

Oops,
This tactic is employed by fsuw with the motivation of an instant green card.  There is no such motivation for AW.hint hint

I had a friend who was going through a nasty custody battle with his Canadian wife. He was accused of molesting their son. Fortunately, he had witnesses who testified that no such thing happened as he was with them the entire time that the alleged abuse occurred. The motivation here was not a green card, but winning a custody battle.

[KenC]

I had a friend who was going through a nasty custody battle with his Canadian wife. He was accused of molesting their son. Fortunately, he had witnesses who testified that no such thing happened as he was with them the entire time that the alleged abuse occurred. The motivation here was not a green card, but winning a custody battle.

Well, I didn't say there were no underhanded scummy tactics that are used by AW.  This is but one.
KenC

[BillyB]

For the 101th time: none of us know what really happened in his family
(his truth-her truth-the truth).

I talked to a credible person who read Maxx's court transcripts. The judge said he knew Maxx was innocent at trial but had to do what the law says. Society will now judge Maxx as a wife beater. The way the law is written, it's hard to distinguish the innocent from the guilty anymore. The feminists have lobbied hard to get laws on the books in the name of equal rights and protecting women. A man does not need to even hit his wife to go to jail. All a woman has to say is that she fears physical harm and he can be convicted of domestic violence.

Doll, maybe you think this is no big deal for Maxx but what if all your life you've had a clean record and someone married you to get a ticket to America, then falsely you of DV and get you get a DV record and getting you an expensive divorce while sucking you dry of most everything you own. Be thankful people here will have more sympathy for you than you for men when this happens to them.

Speaking of risk, we're all adults and we have judge this path we're taking as having more pros than cons. If you get down to it, there's a risk getting married as half fail. While many say women have more risk for marrying a foreigner by leaving friend, family and her life but she is moving to a place where her income can triple or more. While the man doesn't leave anything behind, he certainly isn't moving to a place where his income can triple. Basically it all evens out. A man is not losing friends or gaining finacially but he's not moving in a place to gain new friends or putting himself in a position for finacial gain either. If the marriage is a failure, both man and RW would say they risked everything for that jerk/bitch. If the marriage is successful, they both would say it's well worth any risk either of them took. Choose wisely.

Because my dad was in the military, I went to four high schools in a four year period. I hated that I'd lose the friends I had and move to a place I knew nothing about. But now I look back and I'm glad for the experience. Is it all that risky moving to a new place? People envy me and wish they had the same opportunities.

[Eduard]

Ed,
I answered you question in detail.  Please reread it.
KenC

where? I went through the entire thread. You explained what you consider to be a risk to Doll in one post, but you didn't address any of my direct questions.
After stating that my post was probably the "dumbest post ever" I though that you might address my direct questions to you?

[KenC]

where? I went through the entire thread. You explained what you consider to be a risk to Doll in one post, but you didn't address any of my direct questions.
After stating that my post was probably the "dumbest post ever" I though that you might address my direct questions to you?

No, Eduard,
I refuse to debate such nonsense with you.

Have a nice day.
KenC

[Eduard]

Its statements like this that explain why I’m still single at 30.  All over the world regardless of country of origin or ethnicity you find feminists going on and on about how it’s a man’s world and when things go bad it’s ALWAYS the woman that is the victim.  No risk for American men?!  This statement tells me that this woman and possibly numerous RW don’t value my hard work, sacrifice, and values which makes them just like AW and Western European women.  I’ve never been married, don’t have any children, have a six figure career, have above average looks, and come from a professional respected family.  You mean to say some green card whore coming in and using me as a mule and walking away with a chuck of my cash, putting a divorce on my record, and causing my child or children to grow up in a broken home isn’t a risk for me?

I appreciate some of the negative comments regarding marrying FSU women.  I’m sick of the unrelenting propaganda spewed out by agency promoters.  For people that think this site dwells on the negative too much please go to an agency for some distorted masturbatory material.  No one ever got hurt by being overly cautious.  Sure buy the ticket and go to the FSU and check it out, but for heaven’s sake do not think there are NO RISKS just because you are an AM.  This is the most nonsensical feminazi statement I’ve read in a long time.  That type of garbage belongs in family law court where decent hardworking AM get taken to the cleaners by the women of the world.

Bob, in this post you sound like a very angry and intense man. I'm very curious as to why are you looking for a wife overseas? Being so young, attractive and financially solvent (as you described yourself) you have plenty of options with local women here in the US. I think the dating situation changes greatly when a man is in his 40s, but you are only 30 y.o.!!!
You seem to be very angry at `ALL women, no matter where they come from. I understand that you might have had a bad experience and some woman did a number on you, but hey, this happened to a lot of us at some point in life. you learn your lesson, heal yourself and move on. Before you start looking, you really might want to find peace within yourself, calm down, chill out and start projecting positive energy. That will attract the right woman. My guess is that right now you project such a negative, angry aura that will scare away any woman.
I am on the same page with you as far as many agencies are concerned. I don't like them and think that there is a much better way to look for FSU women then through these marriage agencies. So if you don't like them, why use them???

[Eduard]

I find it a bit strange and sad to see that when someone is trying to start a positive thread and talk about good things that happen when you find a good RW and marry her there are always some people who want to bring negativity even into a thread that is supposed to be dedicated to the positive.
Personally I find myself very happy with my life and my wife. She is a wonderful woman, great mother to our daughter and I feel truly blessed that I found her.
She is extremely smart, great home maker, great cook, very family oriented, sexy and someone I can trust and consider my partner in life. What else could a man ask for? I don't know. I'm perfectly happy and content. And that's the bottom line.

[Kuna]

Ken,
a few pages later, I still haven't received the answer to my questions to you. You were very quick to insult me, yet I haven't heard much proof that marrying a RW is a 100 times more risky than an AW.

It's so infuriating is to witness the dishonesty in someone claiming as well respected member is not answering questions, when the accuser is frequently dishonest in ignoring simple and direct questions posed to him.

 

Eduard,  I don't have the time or interest to go back through your many moments of deception when ignoring legitimate questions...  just spare us the BS.

But IMO any man who's got common sense and is not lazy to do his research (i.e. participating in a forum like RWD) can figure things out and learn to separate reality from fiction, don't you think? As I mentioned before, the language barrier issue can be easily solved by using any competent interpretor.

INCREDIBLE!!!  Eduard,  read what you wrote...  READ IT!  AND READ IT AGAIN!

So... here you are, a "professional" guide, making money by helping men look for wives - AND NOW you say common sense and being a member of RWD is enough for a man to figure this journey out (notwithstanding the potential need for a translator).

DUDE...  you're thought process is misfiring...  you're admitting you're taking money from men on false presences because common sense and RWD help can see them get through this.

In another thread recently you admitted you don't give out basic advice like dress sense and preparation for dates.  You think it's better for the man to "be himself".

What do you actually do to earn your money???  How do you justify your fees?  Have you no shame?

While I'm asking questions...  If this journey is not a risky one, why would men need your services at all???  I bet you're not telling them it's no riskier than dating in the US!!!

[Simoni]

Ed, there will always be angry, bigoted people like Bob Jones.

His name is the same as the university in South Carolina that holds similar extreme views of race, so perhaps there is a connection.

[Admin]

Ed, there will always be angry, bigoted people like Bob Jones.

His name is the same as the university in South Carolina that holds similar views of women, so perhaps there is a connection.

Hmmm . . . well, maybe I am not clear on exactly what "views of women" you are attributing to RWD member Bob Jones, so that I can be clear on your attribution to BJU.

Care to clarify?

- Dan

[Simoni]

I was thinking race and typed women.  I thought of it a minute after posting, but was away from the computer.

It does occur to me that Bob Jones University has very restrictive rules for women?   All I know is that presidential candidates flee from the endorsement of the place.

For our RWDs Bob Jones view of women, you can read the things he has posted.  They are in his own words.  The one that comes to mind is where he referred to some fsu women seeking an american man as "whores."

[Admin]

I was thinking race and typed women.  I thought of it a minute after posting, but was away from the computer.

It does occur to me that Bob Jones University has very restrictive rules for women?   All I know is that presidential candidates flee from the endorsement of the place.

For our RWDs Bob Jones view of women, you can read the things he has posted.  They are in his own words.  The one that comes to mind is where he referred to some fsu women seeking an american man as "whores."

Well,,,, where to begin.?.?.?

I do not plan to address RWD Bob Jones comments. He can 'speak' for himself.

I do not believe that BJU in any way considers AW to be "whores" - which seems the implication you made earlier. It *is* true they have a female dress code, and some may consider it "restrictive" - but they also have an equally "restrictive" dress code for male students. Equal treatment.

As for BJU's political influence, I think you will find it highly-conservative, and highly sought.

Reagan, both Bush's, Quayle, and Bob Dole have all spoken at the university, and the number of notable people associated with BJU is very long indeed.

The fact they have a long history of conservative religious fundamentalism puts them at the center of a fair amount of criticism - some legitimate, some not.

- Dan

[BillyB]

My ex Ukrianian wife had a cousin who went to BJU. She was a young lady with good values and a positive outlook on life. She never complained about her time at BJU. I understand they have more restrictive rules for both male and female students than most universities but probably not anymore restrictive than the rules in boot camp.

[Simoni]

I do not believe that BJU in any way considers AW to be "whores" - which seems the implication you made earlier.

What? No, not at all. I was speaking of the poster at RWD who called women "whores."  Not the university.

But yes, the university is considered to hold bigoted attitudes by many.  (which they have modified some in recent years).

Note this report and quote from the 2000 presidential race:

In 2000, John McCain excoriated George W. Bush for kicking off his campaign in South Carolina at Bob Jones University, visiting the campus and delivering a speech to the student body. McCain assailed the appearance, arguing that Bush’s uncritical speech at BJU was tantamount to an endorsement of the school’s policies. John McCain told reporters, “If I were there, I would condemn openly the policies of Bob Jones, because I would want to make sure that everybody knew that this kind of thing is not American.”

[Eduard]

While I'm asking questions...  If this journey is not a risky one, why would men need your services at all???  I bet you're not telling them it's no riskier than dating in the US!!!

If someone wants to find out why they need my services and how they can benefit from them, they can email me privately. I'm not going to discuss that here. In this thread I'm only expressing my opinion about my own experience of finding and marrying a RW. My personal experience was fun, educational and overall very positive with great results.
I wish you the same, maybe then you'll chill out a bit. As far as betting that I use some scare tactic to attract clients, don't. Why not ask Catman why he decided to use me if you are so interested?

[Simoni]

 :truce:Dan~ this thread is *suppose* to be about POSITIVE advice for newbies.  It has long since been sabotaged by negative posts.

I did not mean to derail it further by wondering about the poster calling himself Bob Jones and noting he used the same name as what many consider a bigoted university.

Please just delete these posts, or start a new thread on BJU.