Can a RW/UKW cope with a man in the military?

[Ooooops]

Please, don't tell me your husband was away for the six months it took you to get a DL..

No.      But he was working some insane hours as usual.    And it only took me 2 weeks to get DL - teacher, driving around, passing test, voila!     

I was talking about someone with poor to non-existent English skills and no prior exposure to real life in AMERIKA..

Why a person with non-existent English skills is getting married to an English speaking person to start with?   And even is so - DMV has tests in all different languages, including Russian.   

[possum]

Why a person with non-existent English skills is getting married to an English speaking person to start with?

Beats me.. Ask the thousands of RW who have done so since the fall of the Union..

And even is so - DMV has tests in all different languages, including Russian.   

I know, but how many Russian road signs are there?. None.. Everything's in English and Spanish..

[ScottinCrimea]

No.      But he was working some insane hours as usual.    And it only took me 2 weeks to get DL - teacher, driving around, passing test, voila!     

Why a person with non-existent English skills is getting married to an English speaking person to start with?   And even is so - DMV has tests in all different languages, including Russian.   

This is not true in the vast majority of states.  Only a couple of states even have the manual available in Russian.  In my state they do have an alternate test that utilizes pictures instead of questions, but you're going to have to study something to get the answers.  Even with my wife's excellent English and already having a drivers license in Ukraine, it took her a couple of months before she felt comfortable taking the written test and the soonest she could schedule the driving test after this was 2 months.  If her English is limited, she will still need someone to get her through the process and they don't have translators during the driving test.

Then you also have to think about, if he is gone for so long, who will handle the finances at home, even just paying the regular bills, who will help when emergencies arise, etc.

[possum]

Then you also have to think about, if he is gone for so long, who will handle the finances at home, even just paying the regular bills, who will help when emergencies arise, etc.

That was my point.. who's gonna take care of the basic everyday stuff?. 

[Ooooops]

I know, but how many Russian road signs are there?. None.. Everything's in English and Spanish..

And Chinese and Vietnamese.     

[Ooooops]

This is not true in the vast majority of states.  Only a couple of states even have the manual available in Russian.  In my state they do have an alternate test that utilizes pictures instead of questions, but you're going to have to study something to get the answers.  Even with my wife's excellent English and already having a drivers license in Ukraine, it took her a couple of months before she felt comfortable taking the written test and the soonest she could schedule the driving test after this was 2 months. 

Really?   Judging by Russian forums most of states have those multiple language writing tests.   But I won't argue here, because I don't know for sure.   I did it in English anyway....   But why such a long time - 2 months?  It's a multiple choice test and a pretty simple one, as I can remember - answers are very easy to logically pick up.   Nothing like written test in Singapore we had to pass, when you have to memorize lots of numbers down to third decimal...   

Then you also have to think about, if he is gone for so long, who will handle the finances at home, even just paying the regular bills, who will help when emergencies arise, etc.

Auto payments rule!      And for the emergency there are family, friends and neighbors.   I'm just trying to be positive about it.   It will all depend on a person Felix marries.   Like I've said before - it has to be a very special one.   But it's possible.   

[ScottinCrimea]

Really?   Judging by Russian forums most of states have those multiple language writing tests.   But I won't argue here, because I don't know for sure.   I did it in English anyway....   But why such a long time - 2 months?  It's a multiple choice test and a pretty simple one, as I can remember - answers are very easy to logically pick up.   Nothing like written test in Singapore we had to pass, when you have to memorize lots of numbers down to third decimal...   

Auto payments rule!      And for the emergency there are family, friends and neighbors.   I'm just trying to be positive about it.   It will all depend on a person Felix marries.   Like I've said before - it has to be a very special one.   But it's possible.   

I did a quick search of states providing the test in Russian and more than I thought do offer it but it's still less than 50%.  All do allow interpreters by law, though I know when my wife took the test I was not allowed to stand near her to provide any interpretation help.  I thought my wife could pass the test much sooner than 2 months and after taking it she agreed, but in this case only a perception caused the delay despite all my attempts to change it.  Still, there was no way to get around the driving test schedule.

While family, friends, etc. can be a great resource, it's extremely rare that someone in the military is stationed in their home town.  I know that those Asian wifes of American servicemen would help each other out, but I don't think there are as many Russian wives as we have no military bases in the FSu where they could fraternize.

I agree that of course it's possible and I'm sure some know of some examples, but as you say, it would take a very special woman.

[Ooooops]

I know that those Asian wifes of American servicemen would help each other out, but I don't think there are as many Russian wives as we have no military bases in the FSu where they could fraternize.

Actually, I think I saw some posts on russian-fiancee forum, where wives of military guys were getting together and exchanging ideas.   It's in Russian but I can try to find it if it could be of any help...

[felix8787]

Actually, I think I saw some posts on russian-fiancee forum, where wives of military guys were getting together and exchanging ideas.   It's in Russian but I can try to find it if it could be of any help...

That would be great Ooooops.

OK, here is a scenario....I leave for Ukraine to see the lady that I have been corresponding with in Sept   
Everything went better then expected.....I follow up with another another visit in say Dec.   
I ask her for her hand in marriage....and she says yes   :kissing: 
Now...if my contract stays the same...bootcamp and AIT is 7 months (all of this will be told and explained to her so that she won't be blindsided and that way it is her right to say yes or no, but in my scenario she say's yes and is informed).

So I get the ball rolling with the K-1 process, pay for her English classes (she can read English good and talks ok but need improvement.) Either I can do the K-1 myself or I can have JAG services help me along or an outside service.

Then of course filing interviews and so forth (mind you this will be done after boot camp and AIT) she is aware is that the process will take time and continues to work and stay in Ukraine.

So I heard that the process for getting a K-1 from an attorney whose specializes in this is field is 8-10 months and if we were to marry in Ukraine then the process would be 2-3 months longer.

OK everything went smoothly with no hitches and she got her visa in say 9.5 months, she I believe has a time frame of 6 months (that is what I was told) to come over here and then there is the 90 days to see if this is going to work/little adjustment period before marriage.

Taking everything into consider consideration from the start 9.5+6+3=18months max, during that time I will have already been done with bootcamp/AIT training and be stationed somewhat in the states including HAWAII or overseas like Germany. IF (another if) she is a very special woman and is strong will to be with me, she most certainly can be with me and live with me outside of the base or she can continue to live and work in Ukraine and I make trips to her or she to me (marriage and resident purposes? don't know the terminology for it) but anyways as my wife she will have all of the benefits of health care etc etc etc... One thing, she has her Ukraine DL and her own car it is just a matter of getting used to driving in the US.

Possum I really do appreciate your advice/opinion it is welcomed....as far as the everyday bills....well I would have to guess but don't quote me on this. I do believe that a majority of companies can have their bills paid online or over the phone..or if she wants to handle it with my guidance, then by all means go for it. Should she be here in FL where I live she will have all of the support in the world from my family.

I am not saying it will go down like that but that is just one scenario of millions including worse case  and when I mean worse case in the relationship/marriage....lonely, depression, cheating so that she isn't lonely, divorce for another another guy....and in my case EVEN DEATH     which I definitely won't want to happen.

I think it takes a special person to be a military wife.   My uncle was a quite high ranking military guy and his wife and daughter had to put up with lots of moving, living in godforsaken places, irregular working hours and such.   But they were very happy together.   So good luck finding your special lady, felix8787!  

Yes it does take a very very special woman to be a military wife.....but nothing is impossible.


felix8787

[possum]

but nothing is impossible.

Agreed (somewhat), but aren't you a little worried you might be spreading yourself too thin here?. Man, if I were contemplating a major career/lifestyle change like that the last thing on my mind would be marriage, and vice versa.. As far as I'm concerned, carriers and marriages are hard enough to maintain, but starting both at the same time would be too much for me..:hairraising:

[felix8787]

Agreed (somewhat), but aren't you a little worried you might be spreading yourself too thin here?.

Yes either one is hard to maintain or both....marriage alone is a job within itself, I'm not saying that I a superman...but the type of person that I am, spreading myself thin is nothing new to me, for me it would be a matter of time management.

Man, if I were contemplating a major career/lifestyle change like that the last thing on my mind would be marriage, and vice versa.. As far as I'm concerned, carriers and marriages are hard enough to maintain, but starting both at the same time would be too much for me..:hairraising:

Ideally, I wish that things were easier, that I had a job or owned a business making very good money (wealthy), but that is not the case here and I certainly don't want to be in a position where she comes here and there is still doubt about the decision she has made.  I am a simple man looking for a very special woman to spend the rest of my life with, as is with anyone who goes down this path in life.

I understand that there will be situations where there are going to be complications, it is a matter of communication, love and understanding to overcome any difficulties that life throws at me/us.

I just had a conversation with my brother who is a former Marine and now a National Guardsmen and we spoke of the options that I have, there is definitely alot of options for me and a family. It boils down to the lady if she is strong willed enough to handle it.....but don't get me wrong, I will not leave her hanging.

This path in life is not easy when pursuing FSUW. As anyone who has been doing this for a long time knows.


felix8787

[Ooooops]

That would be great Ooooops.

I've found these topics where few military wives/gf discuss visa issues -

http://www.russian-fiancee.com/rus/forum/viewtopic.php?t=27434&start=0   

http://www.russian-fiancee.com/rus/forum/viewtopic.php?t=18705&highlight=%E2%EE%E5%ED%ED%FB%E9

[felix8787]

Thank you Ooooops for the links, I think also that I am going to join that site, just to learn more and get different opinions. Thank you.

[ScottinCrimea]

felix,  Be careful that you don't work so hard to plan your search for a wife around such a tight schedule that it causes you to rush things or make decisions that you wouldn't ordinarily make.

[steviej]

Still I wonder .. what's the rush? Why try to jump off two cliffs at the same time? If he'd wait a couple years, he'd be almost through with his deployments, and in a good situation to think about getting married.

[felix8787]

ScottinCrimea...stevej

I hear you both on this....there is no rush....but would rather be up front with the ladies whom I am corresponding with then leave them hanging not knowing whatever happened to me and making them feel like I deserted them high and dry.

Going off topic here for a little bit...yesterday late afternoon, we had a pool party at my sis's apt complex, just family and some friends, then one of my sis's friends comes by with her 2 kids, apparently she has a thing for me.....the feeling is definitely not mutual, but being in the drunken state that I was, anything could of have happened.....THANK GOODNESS nothing did.
Anyways...she is a nice woman.....BUT....physically she is not attractive at all to me....3 kids about 4'10" to 5'00" tall and stretch marks and flab all over the place......YEAH sorry not my cup of tea thank you very much. I just passed out on the couch after watching "White Chicks", now I have a semi hangover and oh yeah at the pool party my glasses caught on fire...hooray....

OK back on topic....if everything goes well in the next couple of months I will be taking a little excursion over to Ukraine to see the other woman that I have been talking to.

felix8787