change of mind

[cloch]

Hi have recently noticed this site and found it very interesting. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience to mine. I actually met someone in London when they were here for an academic conference purely by chance in a cafe.in their early 30's kept in touch-quite a few meetings in russia and elsewhere-things went really well-papers getting prepared to move here but just at the last minute she felt that she was going to miss her family and friends and good job9relatively) too much even though she was still in love with me-she didn't feel able to leave what she had behind and felt that her unhappiness would spoil our relationship in London and it would be less painful to breakup now rather than later.
Being in my early 40 with a widely travelled and somtimes difficult life with bereavments etc I actually thought it was a mature decision- I could see how much she loved her family and how much they loved her and how much she would probably miss them. she wasnt desperate to change her life-and it was an accident me coming in to her life. I guess in this case it is probably different than meeting someone through an agency as in the case of an agency in most cases I would guess that the lady would know that she would have to move.
I'm still keen to meet a lady from russia as I had never in my life before -and living in london Ive dated women from many countries- met somebody so at ease with themselves who carried themselves with great dignity so many cultural interests- a true lady. Ive never actually used an agency before however and wondered if anyone on the board has just gone to st petersburg/moscow etc and met women in cafe/restuarants/galleries etc - that's how I've always met people in the past. I don't have film star looks but Ive never been shy to talk to anyone.
Interested what any lady thinks about that approach- is it regarded as rude or is it taken as a compliment if they are asked kindly for a phone number?

[Ooooops]

Interested what any lady thinks about that approach- is it regarded as rude or is it taken as a compliment if they are asked kindly for a phone number?

A compliment?    :D   Actually, neither.   You gotta present yourself interesting enough for a woman to give you her phone number.   And it's not just looks (although it helps  )

[diverboy70]

Hi, and welcome cloch!

I only have some experience from St:Petersburg, were my girl lives. Her sister met an american guy just by chance at some bar. I guess it is like in any city in the world, if you are a social person that don't have any problem just walking up to people I don't think it would be any problem in St:pete.

I can really recomend St:Petersburg, it is a beautiful city and there is a lot too see. So you could take a relaxed approach and look at is as much as an vacation. If you happen to find a nice woman, concider it a bonus!

Otherwise you could also try some free datingsites and make some contacts before you go!

Good luck!

[Blues Fairy]

Asking for a phone number directly, without any preceding conversation, would probably raise some eyebrows. But meeting "by chance" and striking up a talk is perfectly acceptable.  Look for ladies in coffee shops and bookstores, observe what they're reading and you'll get a good idea what to start with.

[groovlstk]

Asking for a phone number directly, without any preceding conversation, would probably raise some eyebrows.  

 
When she's alone my wife is often approached by local guys who walk up to her and ask, without any preamble, "are you single?" I'm sure the socially-challenged guys who ask such questions think they're cutting to the chase, but it has to be the most pathetic and futile pickup attempt ever.

[BillyB]

it has to be the most pathetic and futile pickup attempt ever.

There's a website that had all kinds of pathetic pickup lines and one of the worst I read was "Hi, nice legs! What time do they open?"

[viking]

And her reply should be: Show me net assets in excess of 10 million and I will try to fit you into my calender between 4 and 4:15 next Thursday if I am not busy picking up after my dog. Priorities you know. 

[2tallbill]

When she's alone my wife is often approached by local guys who walk up to her and ask, without any preamble, "are you single?" I'm sure the socially-challenged guys who ask such questions think they're cutting to the chase, but it has to be the most pathetic and futile pickup attempt ever.

Well I have a number of pathetic and futile pickup lines

1. excuse me does this smell like chloroform to you?
2. there must be something wrong with my eyes because I can't
take them off of you.
3. Did the sun just come out or did you smile?
4. are you from outer space? because your butt is out of this world
5. would you like gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?
6. your body must be visa because its everywhere I want to be
7. do you have a map I keep getting lost in your eyes
8. your daddy must be a baker because you have the sweetest buns
9. I lost my phone number will you give me yours?

Girl you must be tired because you were running around in my mind all day long
My name is Bill how do you like me so far?

Ok, enough cheezy lines.

There is nothing wrong with walking up to a woman and talking to her, ask her directions to somewhere or the time or to take a photo for you etc, after a little bit of conversation ask her if she knows where to get some tea. When she tells you, ask if they have cake there? Then simply ask her if she would like to join you.

Nothing works all the time there are no magic words. There is confidence and it's close to magic, a little humor is better than the smoothest words. Sincerity is more valuable than being cool (cool doesn't suck either)

Just my two kopecks,

Bill