In Support of WMVM

[Admin]

This is the first of a series of posted simple sayings that I happen to like.

Simple saying # 1:

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

[viking]

Amen to that!! (and success is always sweeter when you have tasted the bitterness of failure)

[Jack]

I know men who wrote one Russian woman, meet the only Russian woman he ever wrote and married the only Russian woman he ever met. I will talk about one such man in particular.

This one man, will call him Stan, wrote one Russian women, met this one Russian woman and married this one Russian woman. This happened about 7 years ago.

Stan and I talked a few times before his marriage and many times after. I asked Stan how, if he only met one Russian woman, did he know this was the best Russian woman for him.  Stan said he just knew she was the best woman for him. But Stan, how can you know this for sure if you never met a second Russian woman, a third or fourth Russian woman, maybe they would have been even a better wife?  And Stan would say he knows he met the best Russian woman for him.

I then told Stan I would like for him to buy my next lotto tickets. He laughed.  If Stan was so lucky that he could meet the one very best Russian woman for him out of millions of women, and he only met one Russian woman, and she was the very best woman for him, he was indeed a lucky man.

I recall talking to Stan about 1.5 years after his marriage and asked how things were going. Stan said their were the few bumps in the road but everything was fine.  Then, as if Stan was looking behind him to make sure his wife was not there, he said in a very low voice "Jack, the marriage is fine, no complaints, but if I had it to do all over again, I would have met a few other Russian ladies".

[BillyB]

Simply saying # 858 in support of WMVM

"You might find one girl from a pool of 20 perfect for you to marry. Don't expect the first and only RW you written to or met to be the one."

[OlgaH]

Then, as if Stan was looking behind him to make sure his wife was not there, he said in a very low voice "Jack, the marriage is fine, no complaints, but if I had it to do all over again, I would have met a few other Russian ladies".[/color][/b]

Ah, whispering behind a wife's back  He is so nice man protecting the feelings of his wife   

[OlgaH]

Simply saying # 858 in support of WMVM

"You might find one girl from a pool of 20 perfect for you to marry. Don't expect the first and only RW you written to or met to be the one."

Agree, try them all  or a few before to marry one    There is а wide variety of different products 

[Blues Fairy]

I just bought a new car, a nice Jap sedan with enough horsepower to take me around and enough room to accomodate my significant others.  While looking for the car, I set about a dozen parameters (brand, price, year, mileage, fuel efficiency etc.) and used a couple of databases to search within these parameters.  Whenever I had a match, I would schedule a visit and, if the visual impression was OK, a little test drive.  None of the cars I've seen impressed me.  Then I was just passing by a small dealership on the outskirts of town and spotted this silver Suzuki Verona - I had never even considered a Suzuki!  Love at first sight and perfect satisfaction.  Were my chances of meeting with it higher because I had seen all those previous cars?  I don't think so. 

But of course if, in a year or so, I spot a nicer car and have the budget for it - perhaps I'll trade in my Verona... 

[Faux Pas]

I just bought a new car, a nice Jap sedan with enough horsepower to take me around and enough room to accomodate my significant others.  While looking for the car, I set about a dozen parameters (brand, price, year, mileage, fuel efficiency etc.) and used a couple of databases to search within these parameters.  Whenever I had a match, I would schedule a visit and, if the visual impression was OK, a little test drive.  None of the cars I've seen impressed me.  Then I was just passing by a small dealership on the outskirts of town and spotted this silver Suzuki Verona - I had never even considered a Suzuki!  Love at first sight and perfect satisfaction.  Were my chances of meeting with it higher because I had seen all those previous cars?  I don't think so. 

But of course if, in a year or so, I spot a nicer car and have the budget for it - perhaps I'll trade in my Verona... 

Very good analogy if I perceived it right 

[BC]

Very good analogy if I perceived it right 

Yes.. quite effective.

WNVN

[BillyB]

But of course if, in a year or so, I spot a nicer car and have the budget for it - perhaps I'll trade in my Verona... 

I would too once I found out reputation of Suzuki. Not very reliable cars. You might find yourself stranded on the road first before you abandon the automobile.

I know a couple of men in their 40's who are so fixiated on one woman they will probably be single for the rest of their lives. They do not socialize with other women thus their social skills are lacking and making them less attractive to women. Recently one of those guys told me the woman he's been chasing since high school, over 20 years, has decided she wanted to marry him. She told him that he must first change careers, go back to school and get a 4 year degree in something else. She had a long list on how she wanted him to be before marriage and how much he was to make at his next job. He was so turned off by this that he gave up his lifelong pursuit of her. Only if he got out into the World to see the many other ladies out there giving himself the best opportunity to find the best woman for himself. Nothing wrong with that. It's not like he's cheating on anybody since he has not commitments from any woman. He's a good guy who'd do everything for his woman. Unfortunately he has not made himself available to women who'd appreciate a guy like him since he's been focusing on one all his life. He's not doing himself any favors or the women who are looking for a guy like him. Buying the first car you see is a bad idea most of the time.

[ScottinCrimea]

I'm one of those guys who married the first FSUW that he met.  Since I met her, I have been exposed to many FSUW and not once have I felt that I made a hasty choice.  I have never seen another woman, either American,Ukrainian or Russian who would have been a better match.  I dated a lot of AW before meeting my wife and had a pretty good idea (Both consciously and subconsciously) of who I wanted and needed.  It was not necessary to now date a lot of FSUW to find the best match.  She could have been of any nationality and it wouldn't have mattered.  I was seekiing a woman with specific characteristics, not a FSUW, a Hispanic woman, etc. who met my needs and wants.

The last thing I need now is to search the internet and women locally to confirm that I made the right choice.  I had this confirmation long before I considered marriage.  If someone  is second guessing his choice, then he was in too much of a hurry to meet his wants and needs.

[Shadow]

It does not matter how many (wrong) turns you take, but that you arriveat your destination.

[Gator]

I just bought a new car, a nice Jap sedan with enough horsepower to take me around and enough room to accomodate my significant others.  While looking for the car, I set about a dozen parameters (brand, price, year, mileage, fuel efficiency etc.) and used a couple of databases to search within these parameters.  Whenever I had a match, I would schedule a visit and, if the visual impression was OK, a little test drive.  None of the cars I've seen impressed me.  Then I was just passing by a small dealership on the outskirts of town and spotted this silver Suzuki Verona - I had never even considered a Suzuki!  Love at first sight and perfect satisfaction.  Were my chances of meeting with it higher because I had seen all those previous cars?  I don't think so. 

But of course if, in a year or so, I spot a nicer car and have the budget for it - perhaps I'll trade in my Verona... 

LOL.  I do not subscribe to your analogy.  If relationships were as simple as selecting a car, getting married would be simpler (and boring and not as fulfilling). 

Some men do take this to the extreme and search for perfection.  Others have no clue about themselves, much less what they need and want in a woman, so they keep searching, thinking they will know "it" when they see "it".  Such men probably bypass along the way a sweet woman who might have given them a lot of love and joy.  I understand your distaste for such. 

[Turboguy]

Nice analagy Blues.  Just don't let your husband read the part about trading up in a year.

[Blues Fairy]

I would too once I found out reputation of Suzuki. Not very reliable cars. You might find yourself stranded on the road first before you abandon the automobile.

I have heard and read completely the opposite; Suzuki is surprisingly well put together and runs forever unless you wreck it. Having said that, I agree that everything breaks at some point.  I have long since taught myself to accept the fact that nothing in this life is permanent; it makes living in this world a lot easier.

LOL.  I do not subscribe to your analogy.  If relationships were as simple as selecting a car, getting married would be simpler (and boring and not as fulfilling).  

Exactly my point - it's useless to set parameters and attempt to see ALL cars potential partners that fit those - you'll find yourself chasing a perfection that just does not exist.  But perhaps eventually some obscure Asian cutie will come up and turn out to be just the thing for you.    The key is keeping your eyes open and knowing the good thing when you see it.

[Gator]

The key is keeping your eyes open and knowing the good thing when you see it.

Exactly!  We agree.

Personally, I took the OP's point not so much about WMVM as about having life experience, learning from that experience, recognizing the "one" when he/she comes along, and feeling so deeply inside one's heart.  This can happen whether one goes WOVO or WMVM, provided one has the prerequisite experience.

[BillyB]

I have heard and read completely the opposite; Suzuki is surprisingly well put together and runs forever unless you wreck it.

Automobile reviews are sometimes payed by the manufacturers themselves. Those magazines writing the articles will want repeat business so of course they'll write something good. Trust me, Suzuki has nowhere near Honda's and Toyota's reputation for reliability. When I was a kid, I once commented to my mom how great the business where she worked at was since the newspaper thought it was worthy enough to post it on the front page of the local section. She told me the company paid for that article.

The good news BF is that if your automobile is fairly new and has low miles, it should be reliable enough no matter who manufactures it. Engineers are supposed design parts to fail sometime after the warranty expires.

[Stirlitz]

Whenever I had a match, I would schedule a visit… Then I was just passing by a small dealership on the outskirts of town and spotted this silver Suzuki Verona…  Were my chances of meeting with it higher because I had seen all those previous cars?  I don't think so. 

But I do. If you just sit and wait for your love at first sight, it may never come. But if you schedule visits, arrange test drives, you have the eye that will spot your Suzuki where you would miss it otherwise.

[Blues Fairy]

But I do. If you just sit and wait for your love at first sight, it may never come. But if you schedule visits, arrange test drives, you have the eye that will spot your Suzuki where you would miss it otherwise.

You are absolutely right!  However, whereas searching for cars on the web and "training the eye" to recognize acceptable variants does prepare you to notice that obscure but perfect Suzuki, a parameter-based approach to searching for the love of your life just does not work - it either returns too many matches or none at all, depending on your perfectionism.

Love is a lottery (cars are too, to a certain extent). 

[OlgaH]

You should do what you should do, what is best for you.

I did not need to meet many AM to choose one as my life partner. I  have had my  idea of a life partner and that idea guided me, and I was able to sort all candidates by their letters,even by their first letter, concentrate my attention and choose one man and develop our relationship.

It is difficult to make a choice  when you don't know what you are looking for and you don't have your idea, in such case you need to base your choice only on a comparison.

[apple47]

It is difficult to make choice  when you don't know what you are looking for and you don't have your idea, in such case you need to base your choice only on a comparison.

     Totally agree.


                                               ...Larry

[2tallbill]

I would too once I found out reputation of Suzuki. Not very reliable cars. You might find yourself stranded on the road first before you abandon the automobile.

I know a couple of men in their 40's who are so fixiated on one woman they will probably be single for the rest of their lives. They do not socialize with other women thus their social skills are lacking and making them less attractive to women. Recently one of those guys told me the woman he's been chasing since high school, over 20 years, has decided she wanted to marry him.

Buying the first car you see is a bad idea most of the time.

Visiting One is ok if you have a back up plan AND you are ready and clear headed enough to
dump the girl if it's not working out and move on. Most visit ones have difficulty pulling the
ejector seat lever. The sunk cost fallacy. I know it was really difficult for me sometimes.

[ML]

Visiting One is ok if you have a back up plan AND you are ready and clear headed enough to
dump the girl if it's not working out and move on. Most visit ones have difficulty pulling the
ejector seat lever. The sunk cost fallacy. I know it was really difficult for me sometimes.

I NEVER went on a WOVO trip for first meetings . . . so I never encountered the problem of difficulty in pulling ejector seat lever.

I took several WOVO trips for second or more meetings.  Only once on such second trips was the meeting quite unpleasant on parts of many days.  But we were on a three week trip to Crimea and I am not good at starting new relationships quickly . . . so I stuck it out.  We did have pretty good and daily sex; so that made it tolerable.

I remember on our last day together, we were in the middle of sex when apartment owner and a plumbing repair guy came in the front door (not a door that they could see us; but we had to stop).

As soon as they left, she said: "we were in the middle of something nice, and I want to resume."   I know that many women would have been so mortified by the sudden and unexpected intrusion that they would have vetoed any such resumption.

[2tallbill]

You should do what you should do, what is best for you.

Note: This is my opinion, there are more ways to be successful than my way AND there are
many more ways to measure success than my way.

The visit one types are the visit one types. They will painstakingly read, write, exchange letters,
call, Skype, etc. If there is no mutual chemistry, they will usually either

1. Fall apart, mope around, or follow the girl around like a kicked puppy. Hoping against hope that
some kindness she shows is a sign that things are turning around. You need to be dispassionate
enough to cut her loose and move on to your back up plan. If you don't like the girl moving on
to your backup plan is far easier than if she doesn't feel chemistry for you.

2. Most guys do visit many totally wrong. They try to juggle a half dozen girls or more through letters,
calls and skype. Then they want to meet all 6 of them, then date all 6 several times. I will call this the
Turbo & Two Bit VM Strategy. 

I have deadlines so I will post more later.

PS.

I sent Turbo and Twobit a heads up that I posted about them.

[krimster2]

if ya'll wanna follow "The Descent of Man" then fine...
but if ya wanna ASCEND then listen...

how do ya hunt ducks?
do ya stalk them in the gump forrest like Forrest Gump?
NOPE!!!

you go where they like to go
and ya take some of the "bait" they like
and let them see it
and ya sit back and wait for them to come to you

what's good for the geese
is also good for the girls

you can do this in REALITY or VIRTUALLY

The Reality way is to get a boat....
you get a nice "party boat"
and in Ukraine, Costa Rica
you will be inundated with scantily attired young girls
they're a nuisance
but I'm sure you'll figure "something" out