Experiencing the Cinderella Complex: I married a FSU woman

[gousa]

I don't know where you are getting such bad information, but if you gave her hassles over this based on such misinformation, you owe her a huge apology. Among other things, the aplication to take the licensing exam for an LPN in florida specifically includes the followiing:

It sounds like she did all she could to find the best job that she could, given her limitations, with Englisnh classes, phlebotomy courses, etc., and got nothing but sh!t from you about it.

I was on the internet together with her when we found that information.   I'll bet it
has changed since then and I'm looking into it.   Florida has had some problems with foreign doctors.

I thought since she was alays maximizing her profit potential with me she should maximize her own potential as well.   I gave her a little crap about it, not too much.   She was dead set against any more schooling.    At the same time she complained that I was working hard on my MCSA cert.  She wanted no part of that.  I was supposed to drop everything else and do nothing but be her man and give things and attention to her.    She was starved for male attention in Russia, with her father gone at 14 and her alcoholic husband, that didn't leave her much attention.

[gousa]

Maxx2-  I sure do wish I had read more of your kind of stuff.   Thanks for the link
and I'll probably read it as soon as I get through sparring around here.

ScottinCrimea-   BINGO-   Got it here.   Remember you are talking to an IT expert here and there is almost nothing that escapes me, except when I'm chasing broads of course.   Then I'm dumb as a rock.    LOL

From  http://www.nurseuniverse.com/Nursing-Job/6514.html

In order to be able to work as so in Florida, LPNs must rely on licensure and pass the National Council of State Boards of Nursing examination.  Furthermore, Licensed Practical Nurses can perfectly expect great employment opportunities in Florida.  It is estimated that, for the year 2008, there will be around 2,217 new jobs, which is a very promising figure.  In addition, the average earnings for these professional, in Florida, are $15.04 per hour.

[gousa]

If you were to intervue my ex her biggest complaint would probably
be my temper.     I am just as bull headed as she, maybe more so.

BTW that final argument was over the last postnup attempt,  which was a fiasco,
where her attorney decided that she recieve 50% of everything plus a cash payment of $750,000.00.

[BC]

ScottinCrimea-   BINGO-   Got it here.   Remember you are talking to an IT expert here and there is almost nothing that escapes me, except when I'm chasing broads of course.   Then I'm dumb as a rock.    LOL

From  http://www.nurseuniverse.com/Nursing-Job/6514.html

In order to be able to work as so in Florida, LPNs must rely on licensure and pass the National Council of State Boards of Nursing examination.  Furthermore, Licensed Practical Nurses can perfectly expect great employment opportunities in Florida.  It is estimated that, for the year 2008, there will be around 2,217 new jobs, which is a very promising figure.  In addition, the average earnings for these professional, in Florida, are $15.04 per hour.

Licensed Practical Nurses in Florida at a Glance!

Note the bold part above..

Unrecognized Programs

Programs completed to qualify as a hospital corpsman, technician, physician or a physician’s assistant are not classified as registered or practical nursing programs and are not equivalent.

http://www.doh.state.fl.us/MQA/nursing/ap_licensure-RN-LPN.pdf

I really don't know why I even did this.... glutton for punishment I guess..

[gousa]

know why I even did this.... glutton for punishment I guess..

To me it looks like she would have to send credentials to the Board of Review and
also pass the TOELF exam.   Correct me for sure if wrong.

It's not the easiest process, but I bet that Board of review would give it to her,
we had her education evaluated by that  Professional Evaluation firm in Miami.

[gousa]

A good amount, fairly substantial  portions of her education were applicable to the LPN nursing curriculum, we went that far with it I remember because we looked into it together.    A few classes were necessary, but not as many as the RN.   She didn't want to bother with any of it.  It's a hassle I agree but she had nothing else to do but phlebotomy, and of course gnaw and chew on me.

My statement to her was that the LPN should be a stepping stone to the gradual transition to the Super Goal of RN.   That was my only request.

My apologies for giving the impression that I had no running water.   My house(s)
were normal in every way, just older.

[ScottinCrimea]

What part of this don't you get?

Unrecognized Programs

Programs completed to qualify as a hospital corpsman, technician, physician or a physician’s assistant are not classified as registered or practical nursing programs and are not equivalent.

I checked the LPN curriculum and I find that she would have to attend three semesters.  The first semester, of the 15 credits, she might get the math and biology classes waved but that would still leave her with 8 credits of nursing specific courses.  The second semester she could only have the bio credit waived, requiring her to complete 12 credits and the third semester is strictly nursing courses and none of the 14 credits would be waived.  So ultimately, if her English were adequate enough to complete three semesters of nursing school she would make around $15 an hour, only $2 more an hour than she makes as a phlebotomist.

For an IT guy, you sure don't do a very good job of searching the web.

[steviej]

If you were to intervue my ex her biggest complaint would probably
be my temper.     I am just as bull headed as she, maybe more so.

BTW that final argument was over the last postnup attempt,  which was a fiasco,
where her attorney decided that she recieve 50% of everything plus a cash payment of $750,000.00.

Are you confusing a post-nup with a property settlement, which is part of a separation agreement, leading to divorce? A post-nup (if there even is such a thing, and I still can't imagine what its for, or how it would ever survive under challenge after later divorce -... duress, etc. ),. I think some lawyer sold you something about "post nups" and what that could do for you.

Scott, interesting analysis of requirements for LPN. You are very resourceful! The assumption that a RW can easily come here (US) and somehow start meaningful work is just wrong. It takes a long time of adjustments, language, requirements, etc, to be able to enter the workforce (usually).

[gousa]

Yes Scott that is a super good analysis.  My memory is fading, and I went through this once before and really didn't want to go through it again so I just skimmed it this time.  I remember now that I actually had her in a nursing school for at least one semester.  She was between semesters when the phlebotomy job came through so we thought it would be good take the job and put the LPN/RN thing aside for awhile.  But it's reasonable to say that she was at least 1/3 of the way to the LPN thing.   I wanted her to maintain the ultimate goal of RN as a long term goal.   She is pretty smart and she breezed through the classes that she had.   

It was very hard to get her registered now that I remember.    I practically had to do it for her.  She would have been content to stay at home and wait for a phone call for a job, but those job phone calls weren't coming at the time.  She only had three interviews total.  The third one finally landed a normal phlebotomy job, @ 12.00/hr.

The post-nup is the same as a pre-nup it's just after the wedding day instead of before it.  Her attorney copped an attitude and offered that ridiculous settlement
in her version the post nup,  which could be settled in any event of divorce.

Her attorney knew that I would file a divorce fairly soon after I recieved those
ridiculous demands.   I think she did it just so she could get the money from the divorce.  I let it ride for a while, but when the crazy mixed up DV thing started again I just couldn't wait anymore.  It was an overload.

Sorry for tooting my horn a little extra there, but in fact, that is exactly how I discovered the information for her.  I ran into that first link, misread it, and subsequently found out the real information, then we got her registered at the local community college, after getting her education officially evaluated of course.  The results were nearly exactly as you describe.     A+++  to Scott on that one, for sure.

[MaxxumUSA]

GoUSA...

I currently visit this forum much less than I used to a while back.  From time to time there is a thread that catches my eye and I read it to get caught up.

Last time I was here and I read up on this thread I thought you were a tool.

I only read a little bit more coming here today.  Basically you keep on rambling and rambling about the same crap.  I have come to a new conclusion:

You are not only a tool - you're the whole tool shed.

 

Seems like this is all made up because it just has to be impossible someone can be serious believing his own words that have been written in this thread.

- Maxxum

[BorisS]

You can get someone in trouble if you stand in the doorway like a linebacker
and block them as they come out.   That way they have to move you and if you get a mark on you you can claim domestic abuse.  I think she knew that I would not submit to containment.

 After an argument over my assets I announced that I was leaving for the evening, and maybe permanently.  I was  in my office in the new house.   She stood in the doorway.   I said "You better move because I'm coming through.".  She braced herself for the impact.    I had to push my way out of the office.   She grabbed my shirt and held on for dear life.   I said,  "What the hell are you doing?  You are getting close to getting some rough treatment here."   I pushed her onto the sofa where the sofa bent her kness and she gently settled down onto the sofa, which incidently was a nice blue leather one that I had bought at her demand.    She was still holding on to my shirt and she said,"Yes BEAT ME PLEASE BEAT ME!"   I pried her hands off my ripped shirt and said, "This is crazy."   She was unsuccessfull at getting me to beat her so she started sobbing.  I called her a sick bitch and got in my car and drove away for the night.   The next morning I came back hoping for a truce.  As soon as she saw me she dropped the phone in surprise and I believe she was speaking with her attorney.   She said, " I have a mark where you pushed me and I have been talking to the police."  I said, "Oh really, we'll see about that."  She had a red spot between her breasts on her breastbone where I had placed my hand to push her.   The breastbone is the best place to push someone if you think you have to.

I went to the police station and asked if there were any reports on me.  They said no.
I said, "Good, I'm filing one right now."  I lost my patience at that point filed a containment complaint, which is also a felony.  I had some scratches on my face from the struggle and my ripped shirt as evidence.     I then proceeded to finalize the divorce, which came a couple weeks later.    These were the last weeks of the marriage.

This had been the third violent confrontation.   The first one was initiated by her, the second was a horse apiece.   It just wasn't safe to live with her anymore.
  

Does anyone believe any of this? "Your getting close to getting some rough treatment here." C'mon.

[Doll]

Does anyone believe any of this? "

[/quote]
I've just read the first two pages- hate gousa's posts, just sick in the stomach

[gousa]

I've just read the first two pages- hate gousa's posts, just sick in the stomach

Of course, I agree wholeheartedly, and why not.    If you are a Russian woman you will naturally hate my opinion.    Truth hurts.   

 I have repeated myself for a few reasons, one is that THIS FORUM WAS/IS A DIVORCE RANT.    Another is that  many people ask me prying questions that refer to my same old opinions which are biased as I have admitted.   My ex made me sick to my stomach too, so I wrote about it here....duh.  I have decided that my ex was/is also a hedonist.

Recently I was decieved again, when she recently  contacted me she was all lovey dovey, saying that she still loves me and still wants to spend her life with me.   But she also said she needs another letter of recomendation for the USCIS because they were getting ready to deport her.   So I felt bad about it and called upon a relative who knows about the situation to write a short letter for the USCIS stating that the marriage was not a fake.   My relative did this and sent the letter to my ex and my ex used the letter, and as soon as she used that letter she told me that she had changed her mind and that our relationship would only bring more grief to both of us and that statement was a complete turn around from the messages that preceded that favour.  Par for the course I say....

There were several instances where I believe that I was lied to, but most of them were not as blatant as this final deception that I describe here now.  Just another example for the record......  DAS-VEE DON-YEH

[groovlstk]

And once again, you have no one to blame but yourself.

[gousa]

Hi groovlstk old comrade, good to see (hear) you again.

And yes groovlstk it is true that if I had not initiated this whole mess it wouldn't have happened, or it would have happened to someone else.    Guess nothing really matters.
None of any of it or anything else here really matters.

If I would have told her to write her own letter that would have been bad too, and I would have felt like hell.    At first I told her to take a hike, but I really felt like hell then which is what she wanted to accomplish.     They are experts at making men feel sorry for them and experts at manipulation through guilt. 

 This way at least I can say that I tried to be a good guy once more.
This place would have loved me when I was a rah-rah.  I was a sweetheart.  I loved her and Russia and the whole enchilada.  Nye no more.

If I am a tool now I am glad for it because I gave a new life to a person who had
not much hope.   She took my gifts, my support and the new life that I gave
her and gave me a lot of grief in return.    To answer another old question, to interview her would bring about her other biggest complaint about me was that I was always running away from her.   Gee...I wonder why.   From the beginning she latched onto me like a pit bull.   I guess I would rather be a running tool than a whipped, bitten, and drained RW husband.    That's why I became a tool.   I wasn't always a tool, more a sucker for a pretty face, but I'll gladly admit to being a tool now.

I didn't know that everytime you post something here you get put at the top of the recent posts list.  Oooooops  I was hoping I could just sneak one more in without being noticed. 

But I do like to defend myself.  I've always been good at that.    I have heard a rumor of another woodsman around here who got a big financial burn when his RW divorced him.  He's about 30 miles away and I think I'll go visit him and introduce myself.

[Shadow]

I guess that you should have expected her turn. At least I would have seen it coming from miles away.
It was up to you to decide on giving her what she want and letting her stay in the US, or having a chance of her being deported.
Even knowing it was a setup I would have chosen what you did.

[gousa]

Thanks Shadow.... your wisdom is true once again.  Must be those big glasses.
Guess I'm really a softie.   I thought I could give in one more time, this time would
not cost much, or anything really, I thought, just a little frustration.   My venting is finished unless somebody wants me to present reasons on other unpleasant subjects.

Somebody said that I kept repeating myself, and/or believing my own crap. All arguments or discussions about love, life, marriage, divorce, and life after
divorce or marriage are circular by default.   That's the nature of the beast.

A while ago I thought that I should add that it was my female marriage counselor that advised me about the fact that containment is considered domestic abuse.  My ex had been experimenting with it more than once and that's why I had previously discussed it with the counselor because it had happened before.   
That was a main reason for blowing up when I did.    But it's all history now
so I close the rant book and look ahead, in the western hemisphere that is.

[dobradavid]

Gousa, you said you tried the "prenup" and the "postnup" thing and neither worked. There is no such thing as a "postnup".

Actually, there is. 

[dobradavid]

There are volumes between what I knew then and what I know now.    I'm kind of like Paul McArtney.    I just decided I would give it  a go and threw caution to the wind.

So you now have to live with the results of your actions. 

[Jenn]

I've just read the first two pages- hate gousa's posts, just sick in the stomach

same!

[mies]

A 47yo guy who does not want to have his own children because he does not want to pass his inheritance to his child? This man has guts to accuse women in liking money?

Man who pushes his wife in such way that there is a red mark (bruise) on her chest day later, pushes her from the door onto the sofa (!!!)
I assume that sofa was in the opposite direction from the exit. It in fact should have been somewhere behind your back Gousa, or on the side.. opposite direction from the person who is trying to exit a door. Don't you think so?
Do you want to say that pushing your wife onto the sofa was the only way for you to exit the room? How pushing her helped you to exit? Pushing into the room (!!!), not out (!!!)
And you are trying to sell this bs to naive and sympathetic forum readers?

Then, even though woman was so kind that she did not use the opportunity to file domestic abuse charges against you, and was trying to resolve the problem in family circle - you go and file charges against her - showing your ripped shirt?? (mind you - not a bruise on your chest)

And after this you are telling that she has a psychotic smile???

Seriously, Gousa, you should have married your inheritance instead and don't mess the life of a good woman and her son.


P.S. Curiosity poll:

How many of you, gentlemen and ladies, have leather couches next to the apartment/house entrance doors?


That must have been quite a flight that Gousa's wife made with his help.. and afterwards she managed to sit gently on a couch? Gousa - sell your script ideas to Hollywood producers. I'm sure they'll love it. It will also help you to earn extra money.
 

[mies]

...and lots of Viagra of course.

it may come as surprise to you, but some men don't need to use Viagra to have often sex.
 

and by the way - in russian-speaking communication the phrase "now beat me, beat me" which followed after man pushed woman onto the coach aggressively - is a sign of despair, and active-defensive reaction. It is in no way an invitation to beat her.
Ask russian-speaking people - I'm sure they will support my opinion.

You can probably even find some russian movies where woman screams and cries "beat me" just to show that she isn't afraid, while in fact she is.
 

[EnergyAZ]

 Men should be skeptical and critical about taking on any domineering woman who marries for love and the opportunities and profits attached to the marriage.  

You just eliminated a massive percentage of women in general - regardless of where they come from.

Yes, they all want love...but no woman dreams as a little girl:  "Some day my pauper will come..."

The key word you said IMO:  Domineering.   Yes, this is a trait I would look to avoid as well.

[mies]

Some people are just non-cooperative and paranoid. They call "domineering" any person who disagree with their autocratic family ruling style.

DF= "domineering female"
NGG= "nice gentle guy"

"The Very Sad Story about Domineering Woman"

DF: Darling, let's have breakfast
NGG: Why can't you wait? There is a nice buffet i am going to eat lunch at. Why do you always demand too much attention to yourself?

DF: Darling, I need yogurt and tea.
NGG: You act like Cinderella. Yogurts are for kids of rich parents. I have no problem eating french fries, you can do the same too.

DF: Darling, I need to buy shampoo and some female sanitary products.
NGG: You are just sucking money out of me! And you are using way too much shampoo. Yes, I am bold, but it doesn't mean I don't wash my head. You are SO MEAN and SO GREEDY!!!

DG: Honey, I want you...
NGG: You only want to exploit me! You want sex, you want my money, you want my time, you want my house. Why it always has to be YOUR way?
DG: No, I just want YOU...
NGG: You want to get pregnant and put your hands on my inheritance together with your child!

On a hike/walk:
DF: Darling, I'm getting tired - let's have a small rest, maybe will have a snack too.
NGG: This trail is for beginners and you are telling me you are tired. You always expect me to do what YOU WANT. You are just a domineering selfish b-tch Cinderella.

[Capstech]

Gousa, don't get married anymore and live with your inheritance happily forever after.