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[PeeWee]

[user=461]mark30378[/user] wrote:

What part of any of his responses pertain to my question. O . And up until now and what I know will cost for the sret of the process it is not really an expensive cost. it cost only $165 to file papers and $100 for the interview plus small expenses and her plane ticket here can be pruchased for under $500. Giv a few hundred for mail, travel, ood and I think still under $1000. Not including my trip to Russia which cost no more than average vacation here.

Mark, you found out the same thing that I did. It takes a while to cut through the retoric to get to the core of the answer, doesn't it? It was not different 3 years ago. I finally gave up asking questions or answering questions and went away andi did my own thing. It worked out.

One other thing that we do not know about Mark's situation, and now we know that he is a capable lad, I at first thought he yas a young college fellow, but what we do not know is what the financial situation of his lady is. She could be like my lady, wealthy, and because his lady is she will be bringing some cash into the mix. Not all of us have found the poor Ukraine shop girl, the one we feel we must save from heir plight. If he ran two business and has a college degree then he has it figured out.

PeeWee  

[KenC]

[user=461]mark30378[/user] wrote:

What part of any of his responses pertain to my question.O . And up until now and what I know will cost for the sret of the process it is not really an expensive cost. it cost only $165 to file papers and $100 for the interview plus small expenses and her plane ticket here can be pruchased for under $500. Giv a few hundred for mail, travel, ood and I think still under $1000. Not including my trip to Russia which cost no more than average vacation here.

Mark,

The point Andrew is trying to make is that if you are sweating passing the minimum wage standards, maybe you really cannot afford to do this process.  And that is very relevant to your question and situation.  The costs you are concerned with covering are chump change compared to the real costs of this venture.  Whether you want to aknowledge the fact or not, it takes a lot of money to bring a RW to America.  Providing the documentation and transportation costs is a very small part of the overall total fiancial expenditure.  Love just aint enough.

KenC

[Turboguy]

Personally I always liked advice I agreed with and did not like advice that were things I did not want to hear but I have to say, there were many time the ones I "did not want to hear" turned out to be the best advice.

My two cents on the whole thing.    Mark, I am at the one month point of having my gal here on a K-1 visa.    The first step is getting your income throgh the immigration people.   Yes your costs for that are not bad.   A few hundred for the government in fees.  $ 100 or less for the medical and a plane ticket.  

The costs for a gal once you get her here can be another thing.  I think I have been lucky so far.     I almost have to twist my gals arm to buy her things.   I have spent under $ 500.00 for clothes even though she arrived with one suicase and about 3 outfits.    We were at a K-mart and she picked up a skirt she liked and wanted to put it back because at $ 14.95 she thought it was too expensive.   She is running around in $ 24.00 sneakers from WalMart that she loves and only bought one outfit that was even a bit expensive.   With many of my friends I see a different story.   One guys gal wanted $ 800.00 linens.    These gals often have a tendency to want to remake your place and often want to make up for the things they never had.   The guys are right.  Getting a gal here is cheap.   Supporting her and keeping her happy can be expensive.    There are exceptions.

Another factor to look at is in the USA the gal is not likely to be able to work for a while.   My gal's biggest problem is boredom.   She is trying to find a job that she can do with little language and no SS #.   I had wanted her to work in my business but she felt that was too much time together so I will respect her thoughts on that.   Frankly, I would rather she did not work for a while but she is going stir crazy.   It is  her only complaint.     I have the cleanest house in the state but there is nothing left to clean.  Even my charcoal grill shines.   

You are going to add the upkeep of a second person and she may not be able to work for quite some time.   Mark you are the only person who can really judge what your finances can handle.   If you are bringing back a trophy wife she may expect to be treated accordingly.   You know your finances and hopefully you know your gal.    I wish you the best of luck.   Personally I think you will find your way through any hurdles and work things out well.

[ConnerVT]

PeeWee, why do you keep coming around if you don't like the process or the answers you get here on RWD?  Like you, Mark came here seeking legal advice on the Internet (not your best first source for legal info, BTW).  Initially, his limited information was that he didn't meet the guidelines, and was looking for a way around them.

The advice he was given pertaining to this was sound.  The additional advice given to him is also sound, whether he wished to hear it or not, or if it applied to his situation or not.  You get what you pay for.  You want more directed information?  Hire an immigration attorney.  And be prepared to answer all of the questions (and more) that were asked here.  For the old computer saying "Garbage in, garbage out" applies in an attorney's office as well.

As a former paper pusher, I know the standard cookie cutter applications move the fastest and with the least amount of grief.  Anything outside the norm, you may run into problems, no matter how 'reasonable' the situation surrounding them may be.  Dealing with the USCIS, the problems seem to multiply tenfold.  People's futures are sometimes determined by the luck of the draw, of who happens to pick up you piece of paper today.  Don't believe me?  Telephone the USCIS 800 number a few times, and ask the same exact question.  You will receive several different responses.

Mark needs to be prepared to show three years of income (or applicable assets) that meet the 125% guidelines.  If not for the visa interview, then to file with his AOS paperwork shortly after marriage.  If he does not meet the guidelines, he will need a sponsor.  That's the answer to the legal question he asked.

In addition, he needs to evaluate if he has the financial resources to sponsor another person whom the US will be very foreign.  Yes, AM and AW marry all the time without much resources.  But most times, a RW won't be able to contribute much financially to the household, but initially will be a higher cost to the household than the comparable AW.  This is the price of relocating one's life to a new locale, and needing to develop the necessary skills to help a household's income.  Consider that the fee for the 'free' legal advice given above.

[jb]

She could be like my lady, wealthy, and because his lady is she will be bringing some cash into the mix.

This is absolute speculation based on nothing other than your own situation.  I seriously doubt this girl has more than a few kopeks in her pocket,,, that's the norm.  Your wealthy woman is a "one in a million".  

You also apparently do not know much about Russians, even if a woman arrives with a few thousand in her purse,,, that will be her money in case the K-1 fails and she has to return to Russia or Ukraine.  So,,, anything she brings over will not be something Mark can count on to ease the transition costs, he will have to be ready to foot 100% of all costs out of his pocket.

I don't have a problem with Mark bringing a woman over on a K-1, he's indicated he's only a few credits short of his degree and after that I'm confident his world will improve.  But the 10K he has in the bank now will evaporate like the morning dew within days of her arrival.  He needs to know the honesty of what is in front of him, not some fantasy.  Marrying a foreign national and bringing her over legally is expensive, and the costs do not ease off until after the AOS is completed and the green card is in hand.

You should be very careful of the advice you bandy about, much of what you've written could easily lead a man into thinking he's got a bed of roses, while the reality is he's about to step into a manure pile.

[Bruno]

The point Andrew is trying to make is that if you are sweating passing the minimum wage standards, maybe you really cannot afford to do this process.  And that is very relevant to your question and situation.  The costs you are concerned with covering are chump change compared to the real costs of this venture.  Whether you want to aknowledge the fact or not, it takes a lot of money to bring a RW to America.  Providing the documentation and transportation costs is a very small part of the overall total fiancial expenditure.  Love just aint enough.

KenC

Ken and other, i fully agree... paperwork is the cheap thing... real expense begin when his lady will be in USA...

BUT... If you have good read the post from Mark, he finish school in May... at these time, he will be able to work and earn enough money... maybe more that before follow school... until May, he have some reserve in the bank ( 10 k ) and can earn some money monthly with his actual work... of course, he own his house ( already pay if i have good understand )...

So, if he is sure to find back some work in May, when he finish school... He is not in so bad situation... maybe better that some who earn a lot of money but need pay a big amount for the house...

If i good remember, a K1 need to be used in the six month... November + 6 month give... May... Say she is coming in April ( free time for adaptation )... He begin work in May ( flow of money )... They marry in Juni ( start new life )... No really a bad plan... without dead time...

So, it is very possible that all can be right for Mark and his lady... the only condition is that he have a work when he stop school in May... since he was succesful previously, i don't see why he will not be lucky now...

Yes, these little detail over the end of his school lead me to think that Mark is not crazy... that he know what he make... and like always, some reply very fast without know all and same without read carefully what he have write previously...

Guys, you are able to give very good advice but judge a situation without know all or missing some detail already wrote can lead Mark to quit these forum... and this can be the more bad thing he can make... he is only at the very beginning... remember the problem from some during the interview or other after the coming of the woman in USA...

So, for try to clear the problem over financial, i have one question for Mark... Mark, have you already a job in view for after the end of your school in May ?... and how much do you think that you will earn ? ... Don't need to say how much exactly but previous discussion on the forum have show that 35000$ year was the very minimum... maybe more since your lady will not work the first year ( possible the second too )... the fact that you own already your house and have not mortage make you more confortable...

 

[Michelangelo]

You should be very careful of the advice you bandy about, much of what you've written could easily lead a man into thinking he's got a bed of roses, while the reality is he's about to step into a manure pile.

I think we need to cool down and just offer advice,rather than attacking others for their advice.

We offer advice from the perspective of too little information.  But Mark can take the advice given and plant it in the garden of his own life, which he knows more about than we do.

Personally, if I assume Mark is a 24 year old college student (or he could be a vet coming to school later in life), it means he does not need as much money to live on as most of the guys on this board.

When I was that age, my then wife and I lived on pennies each month.  I think the stardard of living that Mark and his girl will expect will be quiet diffferent than what those giving advice here live on....

[Michelangelo]

JB--I love you man!  So please quit posting and get behind that wheel and drive away from that approaching storm!  Drive, JB, Drive!

[jb]

Bruno,

Like Peewee, you do not seem to grasp the importance of the question.  You guys keep droning on about Marks future and how everything is gonna be just fine after he graduates.  However you've missed the point entirely, without another sponsor, (a co-signer on the affidavite of support issue), there will likely not be a K-1 visa on which she can travel, now or in the next 6 months.  That's the reality of the answer to his question.  He needed to have made all that money you continue to talk about for the past three years, not the next years.  Issuance of the visa will be depending on what he HAS made, not what he will make.

Sometimes I feel like I'm taking to a wall.

[jb]

JB--I love you man! So please quit posting and get behind that wheel and drive away from that approaching storm! Drive, JB, Drive!

Michael,

We are dodging the bullet here in Corpus Christi, it looks likely Houston will get pummeled pertty good, but I doubt I'll even get my lawn watered very well.  Thanks to one of our board members I was able to get a motel reservation in a safe area, but it looks more and more like I won't be needing it.  Thanks God~!

[PeeWee]

JB--I love you man! So please quit posting and get behind that wheel and drive away from that approaching storm! Drive, JB, Drive!

Michael,

We are dodging the bullet here in Corpus Christi, it looks likely Houston will get pummeled pertty good, but I doubt I'll even get my lawn watered very well. Thanks to one of our board members I was able to get a motel reservation in a safe area, but it looks more and more like I won't be needing it. Thanks God~![/quote]
I received an email from a friend of mine who lives in Houston. They have moved north for the time being. I am sure this wind will be devistating to Texas but then again Houston, etc is not located below sea level. The circumstances are different. With that said, I say to you jb, "Run, Forrest!!!!Run!!!"

PeeWee

[Turboguy]

I have to agree with jb.  Marks question wasn't about their lifestyle.  It was about getting the K-1.   He doesn not have enough income.     The best option is a co-sponsor.    If he has a lot of assets that could  be used to qualify but there is an if there.    I would find a co-sponsor.

I wonder if that could be a good business for someone.  Co-sponsering for a fee.     If the marriage falls through, could they repo the bride?   Assuming she is one of those cute ones. 

[PeeWee]

Bruno,

Like Peewee, you do not seem to grasp the importance of the question. You guys keep droning on about Marks future and how everything is gonna be just fine after he graduates. However you've missed the point entirely, without another sponsor, (a co-signer on the affidavite of support issue), there will likely not be a K-1 visa on which she can travel, now or in the next 6 months. That's the reality of the answer to his question. He needed to have made all that money you continue to talk about for the past three years, not the next years. Issuance of the visa will be depending on what he HAS made, not what he will make.

Sometimes I feel like I'm taking to a wall.

It is ok to be cautions but you guys are to the extreem in many cases. Which means that one needs to practice the addage, "Take it with a grain of salt." Most of you seem to believe this process is like dating where you have to pay for everything. American chivalry. You know, that idea should have died a long time ago. You don't need to pay for all of this. Let her chest up on some of these expenses. If you keep picking the ones who are living in poverty or like most women, beyond their means, they yes you will have to dig deep. But then what are you doing? Are you buying this women the claims to love you? I think that you need to let her invest into her future. Then maybe she will appreciate it more and it will cost you less.

I have spent some stupid money but then again I have not spent a dime on her immigration proecss. She will arrive here and I am zero out of pocket for it. Not that it is right or wrong  but my point is that the expense is different for all of us. And how much would you have spent to court an AW? They are not free either. Deduct that expense from your RW expense and you will see that the expense is not all that great.

Beyond that. The cost to maintain a RW once she arrives is not different than that of any AW. People eat the same, sleep the same, play the same. It costs the same money. Some of you guys seem to thing that these RW are exotic pets. I'll bet you that some of my friends spend more on an annual basis on  race horses than I will  on a RW. It's all a matter of perspective lads. In Mark's case we do not have the whole picture nor do we know what he capable of. He has resourses that we do know know about.

PeeWee

[Bruno]

Bruno,

Like Peewee, you do not seem to grasp the importance of the question. You guys keep droning on about Marks future and how everything is gonna be just fine after he graduates. However you've missed the point entirely, without another sponsor, (a co-signer on the affidavite of support issue), there will likely not be a K-1 visa on which she can travel, now or in the next 6 months. That's the reality of the answer to his question. He needed to have made all that money you continue to talk about for the past three years, not the next years. Issuance of the visa will be depending on what he HAS made, not what he will make.

Sometimes I feel like I'm taking to a wall.

Jb, i have understand the question of Mark... and i was busy ready my own original reply  ... the problem was not the question, you have very good reply to these... but some other who show him like a poor irrealistic man, someone who need to stop his relation because he is not able to support the lady in the future...

So, now is coming my reply to Mark... a story similar these of Mark... ( i need thank Ste for the original video ) ... i have cut and paste all part from a BBC reportage who can be interesting for the Mark case ...

Mark, listen good how much money he have spend before her coming... and the solution for visa... good luck guy ...

[media=320,256]http://www.love-from-russia.be/forum/mark.wmv[/media]

PS : The video stay on my server only until Sunday... sorry, i need to spare my server band

 
For save it, right click the next link and select "save as"

http://www.love-from-russia.be/forum/mark.wmv

[Bruce]

Bruno - do you have any follow-up on what happened with Ray, Natalia + daughter as well as the sponsor.  The video ended just when the story was getting interesting.  

[catzenmouse]

It is ok to be cautions but you guys are to the extreem in many cases. Which means that one needs to practice the addage, "Take it with a grain of salt." Most of you seem to believe this process is like dating where you have to pay for everything. American chivalry. You know, that idea should have died a long time ago. You don't need to pay for all of this. Let her chest up on some of these expenses. If you keep picking the ones who are living in poverty or like most women, beyond their means, they yes you will have to dig deep. But then what are you doing? Are you buying this women the claims to love you? I think that you need to let her invest into her future. Then maybe she will appreciate it more and it will cost you less.

I have spent some stupid money but then again I have not spent a dime on her immigration proecss. She will arrive here and I am zero out of pocket for it. Not that it is right or wrong  but my point is that the expense is different for all of us. And how much would you have spent to court an AW? They are not free either. Deduct that expense from your RW expense and you will see that the expense is not all that great.

Beyond that. The cost to maintain a RW once she arrives is not different than that of any AW. People eat the same, sleep the same, play the same. It costs the same money. Some of you guys seem to thing that these RW are exotic pets. I'll bet you that some of my friends spend more on an annual basis on  race horses than I will  on a RW. It's all a matter of perspective lads. In Mark's case we do not have the whole picture nor do we know what he capable of. He has resourses that we do know know about.

PeeWee

PeeWee,

 Yours is the exception and not the rule.

 The cost to maintain an FSUW is not the same as an AW. You have language training, driving, starting all over with clothes/cosmetics/etc. There is the extra insurance costs, dental costs, driving/car/insurance costs. Just to name a few and all of this with her not being able to work for sevaral months to a year.

An AW would have all of this and probably her own car and health insurance.

Ken

[Bruno]

Bruno - do you have any follow-up on what happened with Ray, Natalia + daughter as well as the sponsor.  The video ended just when the story was getting interesting.  

Nothing more that the 30 minutes from the reportage... about the sponsor, nothing more... Ray daughter have stay enough cold with these relation but at the end, she seem to be friend with the daughter or Natalia...

Before the marriage, they have know some little problem... by example, Natalia have remove her daughter from school without inform Ray... he was really upset about this... some other little problem over garbage, cleaning eat rest on table, ...

By my own feeling, i am not sure that these couple have last very long... Ray is not a easy man, he give the impression to have buy a cleaning woman... and Natalia have seem to me enough cold, not sharing all like a real wife... of course, it is my feeling, the reality can be other...

What i find strange is that he have send her a lot of money before she was in USA... 500$ week is a lot... too much when compare with Russian middle income... if you feed the beast, you need to continue after and it will be more expensive when she is living in your country...  

[PeeWee]

That clip is outstanding, Bruno. That guy is sending cash each week. No wonder his expense is high. I think some of us will send money and some won't.  I do not send money. In fact one time, because of a miscommunication, she offered to send me money and buy me a car! Now that is novel. I declined both. 

Ray is much like Mark. Mark, like Ray, will get the job done. Ray got the visa and so will Mark. Regarding the expenses after she arrives, all women cost money, be they Russian or American.

PeeWee

[andrewfi]

I was listening to the excerpt and was not sure if I heard right. He was really sending $500 per week, wow. I just did the sums, it looks like he was. 30 * 500 = 15,000, the amount he mentioned.

There is a guy storing up a whole world of pain.

Mark, just  athought. Nobody here, including myself, I am sure, wants people to be unhappy. But over the years, there comes a kind of 'group knowledge'. There are things that are known and have been seen many times and, of course, experienced by many!

jb is right about what you have to demonstrate. I am sure that I am right when it comes to moving country, what the needs are and the need to be prepared. I have done it twice in the past seven years. There is no need to attack me or anyone else personally. This is a discussion board, we tend to discuss things, at least in part becasue there are other readers than just yourself. We should be grateful for this free extra stuff. For myself, I am in the process of learning about a new web application and how it integrates with a database that I am also learning. I was reading a discussion board, in search of enlightenment, and a post was made that went further than the original questioner needed or wanted. The thing is, that the expansion of the topic answered my own question and in the right context. We are doing the same thing with you. But also, from a degree of concern for the woman that you are about to introduce to your currently straitened situation. Your issues with your girlfriend are much more serious than my problems with database integration.:?

BTW, your observation about 'And the top few percent of nothing is still nothing.' is not quite correct. In a country where money is much harder to come by, I have a greater income, in dollars, than you do. Like you, I too am about to finish my university studies; like you I came to them late in life. So, you see, there is probably more context in what I write than you might imagine.

[PeeWee]

It is ok to be cautions but you guys are to the extreem in many cases. Which means that one needs to practice the addage, "Take it with a grain of salt." Most of you seem to believe this process is like dating where you have to pay for everything. American chivalry. You know, that idea should have died a long time ago. You don't need to pay for all of this. Let her chest up on some of these expenses. If you keep picking the ones who are living in poverty or like most women, beyond their means, they yes you will have to dig deep. But then what are you doing? Are you buying this women the claims to love you? I think that you need to let her invest into her future. Then maybe she will appreciate it more and it will cost you less.

I have spent some stupid money but then again I have not spent a dime on her immigration proecss. She will arrive here and I am zero out of pocket for it. Not that it is right or wrong  but my point is that the expense is different for all of us. And how much would you have spent to court an AW? They are not free either. Deduct that expense from your RW expense and you will see that the expense is not all that great.

Beyond that. The cost to maintain a RW once she arrives is not different than that of any AW. People eat the same, sleep the same, play the same. It costs the same money. Some of you guys seem to thing that these RW are exotic pets. I'll bet you that some of my friends spend more on an annual basis on  race horses than I will  on a RW. It's all a matter of perspective lads. In Mark's case we do not have the whole picture nor do we know what he capable of. He has resourses that we do know know about.

PeeWee

PeeWee,

 Yours is the exception and not the rule.

 The cost to maintain an FSUW is not the same as an AW. You have language training, driving, starting all over with clothes/cosmetics/etc. There is the extra insurance costs, dental costs, driving/car/insurance costs. Just to name a few and all of this with her not being able to work for sevaral months to a year.

An AW would have all of this and probably her own car and health insurance.

Ken
[/quote]
Ken, true. But why not approach this a little differently. I realized much of what you say which is why I hatched the plan that I hatched.

I chose a woman who speaks English. cost of English lessions 0

She owns a car and drives is in Moscow.  Cost of driving lessions 0

i don't think there are any significant starting over costs. If you mean a job or education then my choice included a transferable skill that will get her a job the minute she has her ss card and green card. The jury is still out if she will actually do that job because she did mention that she would like to sell real estate. But I told her that she should work and go to RE school on the side and then build her business from a secure financial base.

As far as the clothes go. that is women. they always want new clothes. I don't consider that to be above and beyond what an AW wants and thinks she needs.

Yes, my sitation is different, but I made it different by thinking with my big head, rather than my little head. I was methodical in how I went about this for just the reason that you mentioned and more. I wanted to minimize my laydown, or downstroke. So far I am on target. there were some things that I did not account for but they were not budget breakers either.

I see the after expenses, once she arrives, as being equal to that of an AW wife. In my case, that is. But then again, why would not everyone do it this way? It is logical. Minimize your expenses.

PeeWee  

[BC]

Probably more important than money (considering basic needs met) is the time involved after she arrives.

The part time job is great for free time but probably tough to live on alone. Most self employeed guys around here and elsewhere will probably agree that the initial 3 to 6 months or so will eat away at productive time and resulting income.

I guess a good portion of Mark's income comes from his piano repair business. Getting 'squeezed' between commitments to a wife needing a lot of time to support and customers can get tough.

[andrewfi]

Peewee ~ reality, not many women in Russia have much money. Of those very few want or need to move country.

Your case, if as you describe, is anomalous as you must know if you know anything of the economy of the FSU, or anything of the MOB industry. Be thankful for what you have, if indeed it is as you think - but please do not try to extend your example to cover all those hunting wives in the FSU. It does not help, or make a sensible example. At worst, reading what you write, for those who do not know of your unusual, perhaps unique, circumstances is simply misleading.

[RacerX]

Hey Mark,

If you're still with us and haven't been driven off by all the 'old dudes,' I might offer a few more "nuts and bolts" about this process.

First, an I-134 or for that matter, any financial commitment is not legally binding since she is coming as a non-immigrant.  If the deal (the K-1) falls through, no one will be held legally or financially accountable.
That having been said, the consulates are lazy and they will always insist on a I-134 (or similar).  It MAY be possible to skate by with bank records ($10K will help a lot); a good letter from your employer, and a summary of your past earnings, but you may be required to submit more by a CO.  Check out: visajourney.com to get some suggestions for employer letters.

BTW, that 125% rule applies ONLY to I-864s, for I-134s an informal 100% of poverty rule is generally observed.

I've seen a number of people do well with co-sponsors, but the financial situation seems to work better with western Europeans or Canadians where, for example, the girl has good English abilities and can get a job immediately.

 My FSU wife wouldn't be caught dead in a Wal-Mart and does all her clothes shopping at Cache and Nordstrom's.  Unfortunately a girl from Moscow probably is going to have refined tastes and there is a price tag you either individually or collectively should be prepared for- FWIW.

[jb]

BC is spot on with his comment about the amount of time needed, especially in the beginning.  My wife arrived with good English skills as well as an easily transferable job skill.  She was hired as a college teacher even before she had the EAD in hand, simply on the strength of having the receipt for the filing for the EAD.  Now many of you would say; "Wow~! jb sure had it easy".... I would say to you; "Not so easy as you may think".  There was still that period of adjustment, still that period of homesickness, still that unfamiliarity with new surroundings, still that need to be taken everywhere by me because she didn't know where the shops were, still that need to translate everything in her head from dollars to rubles and back again before deciding if  it was a good deal or not, etc., etc., etc.  Teaching her to drive, buying her first car, getting it insured, making sure she understood all of the implications and responsibilities that go along with car ownership and such is the subject for a book of another name.  In short, my wife required all the same care and attention that the other wives will require when they first step off the plane.  

If a man's life is so crowded with work, and in this case, work and school, that he can't fit this most crucial requirement in, then the marriage will, IMHO, suffer.

[PeeWee]

BC is spot on with his comment about the amount of time needed, especially in the beginning. My wife arrived with good English skills as well as an easily transferable job skill. She was hired as a college teacher even before she had the EAD in hand, simply on the strength of having the receipt for the filing for the EAD. Now many of you would say; "Wow~! jb sure had it easy".... I would say to you; "Not so easy as you may think". There was still that period of adjustment, still that period of homesickness, still that unfamiliarity with new surroundings, still that need to be taken everywhere by me because she didn't know where the shops were, still that need to translate everything in her head from dollars to rubles and back again before deciding if it was a good deal or not, etc., etc., etc. Teaching her to drive, buying her first car, getting it insured, making sure she understood all of the implications and responsibilities that go along with car ownership and such is the subject for a book of another name. In short, my wife required all the same care and attention that the other wives will require when they first step off the plane.

If a man's life is so crowded with work, and in this case, work and school, that he can't fit this most crucial requirement in, then the marriage will, IMHO, suffer.

yes, on the other hand it sounds as if some of these guys expect to treat them as if they were babys. They are not defenseless nor helpless. Why didn't you get her a GPS for her car, jb? She could go everwhere she wanted, as long as she had the address.

My example was that if you think this out and are aware of what you are doing and why then you can minimize your costs. She speaks English, she drives, she as a skill, she is willing to learn and work as team member/life parnter. She is not helpless and on and on. All of it will keep those costs down. Time is needed but what women does not demand time of her man. Again, I am unique in that she has vistied the US over 50 times and lived here up to 5 weeks each time. She knows our money, some of our customs, she watches a lot of TV when she is here, CNN.

I thought about all of this before I decided to court her. And while I can't change that arrogant personality of hers I did not luck in to this but rather thought it out. Anyone can do that. To that my situation us unique and it does not apply to most is to say that no one else can do what I have done. That is simple BS, in my opion. the new guys can benefit greatly by noticing how to do it the easy way, rather than the hard way. I chose the easy route.

PeeWee