Wife split!

[GoodOlBoy]

WOW....and I thought Miami was a "banana republic". This sounded like a "circus show".

William3rd, did the interviewer follow SOP (standard operating procedure)? This whole thing sounds sketchy to me?

[William3rd]

Can the married people think back to their AOS interview.  Did the official ask any questions about the marriage relationship?

What evidence did you bring?  Present?  What did the official ask for? STANDARD STUFF

Did you have photographs, letters, bills, etc? STANDARD STUFF
Our AOS interview for the 2 year GC took place 5 months after the wedding, in Detroit.  The official, a middle aged woman who spoke with a Mexican accent, did not ask any questions concerning the marriage relationship.  Wife could not understand what official was saying.  Official asked the exact questions from the AOS form, such as:  Are you planning to over throw the government.  Are you a terrorist?  Etc. THESE ARE THE 485 QUESTIONS. USUALLY MEANS THAT THE INTERVIEWER-AFTER REVIEWING THE FILE- HAS DECIDED THAT THE I130 IS APPROVED AND MOVED ON TO COMPLETING THE PROCESS FOR THE HAPPY COUPLE
Wife had copies of electric and gas bills with her name added; and bank account.  Wife brought many photographs of us together and other papers.  Official did not ask for any evidence.

We had an exchange student from Ukraine staying at our home.  Student came with us to the AOS interview.  Student is almost fluent in English and also speaks Russian, Ukrainian and German.  She is 16.  Wife offered that student could translate the questions for official and translate back the answers from wife and daughter.  When official learned that student was a 16 year old exchange student, she said she had to speak with her manager.  Official came back saying that the translater had to be a USA Citizen and at least 18 years old.  Student was sent to waiting room.  Official said a new interview had to be set with a proper translator.  After talking a few minutes, official was gone for about 10 minutes, then came back with student.  Official instructed student to raise her hand and swear to translate properly.  Then, student did the translations.  Like I said before, the questions were limited to the exact questions on the AOS form and no other.  I was expecting to be asked questions about the marriage relationship--but none were asked!  I would have told the truth to any questions asked of me.  I really did not know what was going to happen and I expected that the truth would come out the the green cards would be denied. 

INTERVIEWER WENT TO THE SUPERVISOR AND SAID- HEY, WE GOT THIS NICE COUPLE THAT I AM DYING TO APPROVE BUT WIFE DOESNT UNDERSTAND MUCH AND THEY HAVE AN INTERPRETER THAT DOESNT MEET OUR CRITERIA FOR INTERPRETING ALTHOUGH SHE IS FLUENT. WADDAYASAY, BOSS?

BOSS SAYS- LETS DO IT FOR THESE WORTHY FOLKS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE TRUTH WOULD COME OUT? WERE YOU PERPETRATING A FRAUD? IF THERE IS SOME OTHER TRUTH HERE, WHY DID YOU GO TO THIS INTERVIEW?

DONT BLAME IT ON THE INTERVIEWER. . . THEY GAVE YOU AN EASY TIME OF IT BECAUSE THEY APPARENTLY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD MATCH.
Official approved the green cards with the condition that a letter that she typed and printed out would be signed by the country health department showing that wife had started taking the antibotics for the latent TB.  Wife took this letter.  I assume she took if with her when she went to the health department and returned it within 30 days of the AOS interview. 

So I ask does this seem right?  ITS THEIR INTERVIEW. . . .Did the official follow the proper proceedures?  YES It seemed like the official was in a hurry to go to lunch and just wanted to end the interview for her convience. OR A DONUT SHOP IF SHE HAS ANY POLICE FRIENDS I was extremely nerveous the whole time and asked to use the toilet room in the middle of the interview.   SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR PROSTATE WAS ACTING UP. . .

[groovlstk]

Can the married people think back to their AOS interview.  Did the official ask any questions about the marriage relationship?

Our interviewer asked us two questions, the first was if my wife was working or not, second was the date of our marriage.

What evidence did you bring?  Present?  What did the official ask for?

Did you have photographs, letters, bills, etc?

I bought copies of my entire K1 and AOS package plus bank account statements, my wife as beneficiary designation for my 401k, pension, IRAs, & money market accounts, wedding photos, etc. The interviewer didn't want to see any of it, the only thing he asked for was my wife's EAD card (which he confiscated now that she was receiving her green card).

[GoodOlBoy]

This may sound like a stupid question, but how can you "swear in" a minor (16 year old) foreign exchange student? I would think the translator would have to be an adult American citizen to get "sworn in" for this purpose?

When official learned that student was a 16 year old exchange student, she said she had to speak with her manager.  Official came back saying that the translater had to be a USA Citizen and at least 18 years old.....Official instructed student to raise her hand and swear to translate properly. 

[BC]

For some reason, when reading a post like Wayne's last one, it seems some think that it's a fault of the government for not protecting them..

When the CO at the Consulate denies a visa.. they are @ssholes.

When the AOS interviewer can't read minds.. they are incompetent.

When the judge rules.. they are biased.

When the woman is unhappy.. they are GCG's

and on... and on...

After the fact:

These guys would kiss that CO's @ss had he/she denied a visa.
They would tell the AOS interviewer "Houston, we have a problem!"
They would realise that a Judge is not going to impose double standards to rule for the USC.

but hey... when all else fails, she's a GCG.

and then... it's a numbers game.. anyone know of a good agency?

[groovlstk]

I was expecting to be asked questions about the marriage relationship--but none were asked!  I would have told the truth to any questions asked of me.  I really did not know what was going to happen and I expected that the truth would come out the the green cards would be denied.

Wayne, I'm not sure if I'm understanding what you're saying. Are you claiming that you went to the AOS interview knowing that your marriage was a sham and you were just waiting for the interviewer ask the right questions before admitting such? 

[ScottinCrimea]

Wayne, I'm not sure if I'm understanding what you're saying. Are you claiming that you went to the AOS interview knowing that your marriage was a sham and you were just waiting for the interviewer ask the right questions before admitting such? 

If that is indeed the case, as his post suggests, then he was either looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage and hoping to have someone else to blame it on, or he was hoping they would deny it so she would be dependent on him for awhile longer.

Remember, this was 5 months after the last time they shared a bedroom or anything else but his bank account.

[BillyB]

Our AOS interview for the 2 year GC took place 5 months after the wedding, in Detroit. 

So I ask does this seem right?  Did the official follow the proper proceedures?  It seemed like the official was in a hurry to go to lunch and just wanted to end the interview for her convience.  I was extremely nerveous the whole time and asked to use the toilet room in the middle of the interview.   

The woman is married to you and the interview is the time for you to speak out that she's a terrorist or in a sham marriage with you. You got more knowledge about her than the interviewer yet you seem to think it's their fault she, an insincere woman, slipped through the cracks. Instead you kept dreaming your marriage was going to work. It'll look silly now if you are trying to report that you where in a sham marriage with her and it's all her fault. If I worked for the government, read your letter and looked back at the time you supported her and stood by her side at the AOS interview, I wouldn't take what you say seriously. I don't know how you did it but i think most men couldn't take it if their wife moved out of the bedroom for 5 months. I don't think most men would've supported their wife at an AOS interview but they would have supported breaking up their relationship ASAP once they realized their error in marrying an insincere woman.

[Doll]

Our interviewer asked us two questions, the first was if my wife was working or not, second was the date of our marriage.

Ours asked what the wedding date was and my husband said he didn't remember 
No more questions, the officer just smiled.

[dobradavid]

Can the married people think back to their AOS interview.  Did the official ask any questions about the marriage relationship?

What has this to do with anything?

I tuned in to see the latest episode of "Desperate Husbands" 

[GoodOlBoy]

I could not believe this. I was over on another RWD post today "Re: Need advice on winning my girl back" Page 2, and here is WAYNE giving his best advise to RATTLEHEAD? 

WAYNES ADVISE TO RATTLEHEAD:

" From my experience with Ukrainian and Russian women, I would agree with most of the advise already given to you.  That is, don't waste any more time on this certain girl.  You are very young and should be able to attract many girls. 

I made many mistakes in my pursuits.  Now, I can say you should not stick with any girl who does not seem totally devoted to you.  You may win her back, so to seem, but only to the extent that she will use you. 

If you go to Ukraine to live, as you said, you will have a chance to meet many girls.  I would suggest you go to some of the smaller cities to look. 

I do not know if you believe in God, but my advise would be to look for a girl who does and goes to church.  When you start raising children, it helps. 

From my experience, if a girl is willing to have sex right away when she does not really know you, and agrees to go to another city with you, these are all very bad signs.  If you are just looking to party, then this type of girl is OK.  But if you are looking for a future life, look for someone else".

 

[Misha]

I could not believe this. I was over on another RWD post today "Re: Need advice on winning my girl back" Page 2, and here is WAYNE giving his best advise to RATTLEHEAD? 

I am not sure why you were so outraged by Wayne's comment. Wayne is very well placed to provide advice as to how NOT to go about doing things, which is what he did IMHO. Better to learn from the mistakes of others, than to learn from your own.

[GoodOlBoy]

IMHO, WAYNE needs to start listening to his own advise, given his history with women.

[Misha]

IMHO, WAYNE needs to start listening to his own advise, given his history with women.

Well, I am sure most men (and women) would be better off if they listened to their own advice

[kievstar]

Lets not kick someone when their on the ground.  

[GoodOlBoy]

and I might add....... I have been checking back with this thread everyday, probably like a lot of other members. I didn't know what to expect next?

Is Wayne alive?
Is Wayne in jail (False Domestic Abuse)?
Etc. etc. etc..............

No, none of the above. Wayne is posting advise to other members on "how to".  

[Gator]

GoodOlBoy,

IMO you are missing the point.  Some of Wayne's advice seems sound, learned from the school of hard knocks. 

We now know that Wayne selected a GCG and was not able to see through her act.  I assume the advice he gives reflects the antithesis of his wife, namely his wife was the following:


1.  She was never totally devoted to him, not in the beginning and certainly not after marriage - Mandatory guideline.  We have always said that you will know when a RW is into you.  Do not accept anything less.

2.  She was from a large city - Not a good guideline.  Much depends upon the man.  I found a wonderful woman from Moscow, yet for some type of men who also live in smaller cities, a Moscow woman is not for you.

3.  She was not religious - Good guideline but not mandatory.  Almost all of the RW I met were not religious, yet the few who were seemed more sincere and honest than the average nonreligious RW.

4.  She consented to sex right away - Not a good guideline. There are too many variables.

5.  She met Wayne in another city - Good guideline but not mandatory.  Many RW who are on a WOVO meeting prefer that the meeting occur in a city where there is something to do.  However, if that meeting goes well, a trip to meet her family should certainly be next.

Agree with Kievstar,  let us not kick a man when he is down. 

[Gator]

and I might add....... I have been checking back with this thread everyday, probably like a lot of other members. I didn't know what to expect next?

Is Wayne alive?
Is Wayne in jail (False Domestic Abuse)?
Etc. etc. etc..............

No, none of the above. Wayne is posting advise to other members on "how to".  

Wayne's silence is understandable.  In fact he may have already said too much given the constraints under which a prudent man would operate in a legal matter.

At least we know Wayne is still alive when he posts elsewhere and that he has access to a computer while he sits in jail.

[GoodOlBoy]

Gator, I hear what you are saying and I pretty much agree with you about NOT kicking someone when they are down.

BUT, don't you think it is a little premature for WAYNE to be doling out advice before he gets his own house in order?

I think WAYNE could have an abundance of good advise, like MAXX does. But I would expect this advice to come in the future. Not now, when he is engaged in a war with his wife.

[Misha]

BUT, don't you think it is a little premature for WAYNE to be doling out advice before he gets his own house in order?

Well, he is free to give advice as to how NOT to find someone in Russia given his mistakes. Let others judge for themselves the value of that advice or you are always free to say what exactly is wrong with the advice that he gives.

[Wayne]

I am not in jail.  I am not in trouble with the law.  I do not have much to report right now.  I am alone in my house for more than a week now.  It is very quiet now, as I was used to having wife, daughter, dog and student here.  In spite of all the terrible things, I still miss them.  At least I feel safe at least for the present.

I was told, in Michigan there is at least a two month cooling off period before a divorce without involving children can be final.  With children, think it is six months. 

Daughter is still attending the same school.  People I know say she is not taking the school bus, but is using the public transportation bus.  There is a substidized public bus system here.  If you see a bus, there might be only one person besides the driver.  The school district extends 10 miles from the school towards the city area, so I would guess that where they are staying is more than 10 miles away, but less than 20 miles.

Yesterday, when I came home from work, one of the outside lights that are controled by motion sensors was on.  The sensor is set to turn the light off after five minutes, so something must have just turned the light on.  There was no car in the driveway, and no tracks in the freshly fallen snow.  There were no footprints near the light.  Must have been a wild animal.  Remember, I live in an area surounded by woods and there are many wild animals here.  A few days ago, there were about a dozen wild turkeys just a few feet from the front porch.  I could have hit one with a ball bat and turned her into Thansgiving dinner! 

Jator is right on about his summations about wife. 

It is interesting to note the differences between wife and the earier woman, S.  S was actually a much better match for me.  Consider:

S is 6 years older.  She has a high level college education in several art fields.  She taught art and supported herself, mother and daughter from sales of her work.  I completed 4 years of graduate study in art, was an art teacher at several schools, etc. 

S lived in a city about 1/4 the size and people as wife.  S lived near a resort area, as do I.  Many kinds of grapes are grown near S and wine making is an important industry.  Where I live, I drive past 6 wineries on the way to work and there are about 25 altogether.  I live in a beautiful nature area, as did S.

Just because you have things in common, does not mean that it will work out, but the chances should be better.  If the other person does not return your love, what is there?

p.s. I just saw in the "Gallery Image" a photo of "Anna and Waye's Wedding June 16, 2007.  I wish this other Wayne better luck than I.

[dobradavid]

I am not in jail.  I am not in trouble with the law.  I do not have much to report right now.  I am alone in my house for more than a week now.  It is very quiet now, as I was used to having wife, daughter, dog and student here.  In spite of all the terrible things, I still miss them.  At least I feel safe at least for the present.

Join a gym - start a fitness program. Adopt a laid back dog from a shelter. If you are renting, MOVE. 

[groovlstk]

It is very quiet now, as I was used to having wife, daughter, dog and student here.  In spite of all the terrible things, I still miss them.  At least I feel safe at least for the present.

Wayne, not only did your wife have no respect for you, she used you, slept in a separate room since your marriage, cheated on you and bragged about it, and has shown nothing but contempt for you in the time she's been in the US.

How can you possibly miss someone like that?

I can't help but notice parallels to many of the guys Maxx has posted about who continue to "love" their spouses long after they've been drained of all their blood and money and have gone into a self-respect deficit that makes our national debt look like the bar tab I plan to run up tonight. You need to build yourself back up and find your backbone again, and it's going to be a long road. I wish you luck and I hope you have a close friend or relative who will keep you from doing something monumentally stupid and self-destructive like reconciling w/this woman if she feels a need to manipulate you again. 

[Diplomacy]

Guys:

Wayne got the lawyer and headed in the right direction to protect himself.  This is probably one of the only places he has a support group.  Lay off the poor man, he has been through hell.  You can correct me if I am wrong Wayne on anything I post OK?

Groove:

It is the same as a battered woman who goes back to an abusive man.  They tend blame themselves for a lot of the situation.  It is hard to know what it is like if we have not gone through it.  Let us just be grateful we have not.  The poor man does not like being alone, I do not know many people that do. 

Now we are not going to enable him either.

[Maxx2]

I can't help but notice parallels to many of the guys Maxx has posted about who continue to "love" their spouses long after they've been drained of all their blood and money and have gone into a self-respect deficit that makes our national debt look like the bar tab

I came to the conclusion at times like this most men get a form of mental illness. They punish themselves for being stupid. I did. Also many have a very difficult time letting their wives go. I didn't have this problem though. I think was because I had been fresh off a previous divorce so I had my divorce skills still fresh. Also I did suffer from the need to try and win them back. I just flipped the switch to off and steered clear of her.


Maxx