Wife split!

[TwoBitBandit]

Wayne, Do yourself one huge favor.. don't do anything that isn't signed off on by your attorney.

Now that's the best advice yet.

[Doll]

I am under the assumption that since he filed and paid for the green cards they would be mailed in his name.
Yes or no?

No.
Why would he want her GC? For what?

[Jet]

Is it even possible to get a temporary green card in your hands this quickly? Especially with positive TB?  Something sounds off  base here, May- October,  6months?

Groov, wrong? I guess you speak from experience.   If  Wayne applied with her together for the temp green card shouldn't his name also be on the envelope?

There have been several members here who's wives have gotten their GC in under 6 months, it's not out of the question, or even fishy.

One of the first things you learn when actually going through this process is that once the application for permanent residence is filed, the USC husband is effectively out of the picture. It is HER application, and the husband cannot even discuss the case with USCIS without her express permission in each and every instance. GC's come by regular mail addressed to the applicant only, and it is a federal crime to tamper with that mail if you are not the addressee, not to mention the fact that this is very near the top of the list of things VAWA names as specific types of abuse.

I'm w/ Groov and BC on this one

... don't do anything that isn't signed off on by your attorney.

[Doll]

I think Wayne could show by her actions early on( day after the wedding) that this is not a "valid marriage" It doesn't appear to be entered into in "good faith" on her part.

Nobody wants HIM to show anything. The woman will have to deal with the
immigration service herself.

[Ooooops]

About the positive TB test - back in USSR we were all given a TB vaccine shot, so now it always shows up as a positive TB.   Have to do chest Xray to prove it clean...   

[Turboguy]

The only people Wayne should be heeding right now are Maxx and William III.

That is the best advice in the tread.  Most of all you need a good attorney, quick.

The "Welcome to the USA" letter that goes with the green card is addressed to HER.   Keeping her from getting it is probably the worst advice in the thread.

The cold hard reality is the marriage is over.   The harder you make it for her the harder she will make it for you.   What she did is terrible.  However, no matter what you do, they are not going to send her back.  I think you need to be thinking about protecting yourself not getting even or getting revenge or stopping her evil plans.   If you make it too hard for her she will go to plan B, Domestic abuse charges.

Men often get the shaft in divorces.   The car is more minor than you think.  Get the advice of a good attorney.  My guess is she will get the car and you will get the payments.  That's American divorce.  If that is all you lose you are lucky.  It is far better than sitting in jail facing trumped up Domestic abuse charges or being branded with a record for it for the rest of your life.

[Jet]

About the positive TB test - back in USSR we were all given a TB vaccine shot, so now it always shows up as a positive TB.   Have to do chest Xray to prove it clean...   

Yep, we've been through this too. The BCG vaccine will give a false positive. We ended up getting a written directive from the local civil surgeon so the pediatrician would stop insisting on TB-tine tests for the little guy, and the County health Dept. would back off.

But IIRC it was the chest x-ray that caused problems for Wayne's wife.

[Doll]

A little over a week ago, she got angry again, started an arguement.

At what?

[groovlstk]

Groov, wrong? I guess you speak from experience.   If  Wayne applied with her together for the temp green card shouldn't his name also be on the envelope? Sure only her name appears on the card itself, if there is one coming(TB).

As Jet pointed out earlier, once Wayne married and filed for AOS, at that point all correspondence from USCIS was addressed to his wife, he was cut out of the loop. All Notices of Action, appointments for biometrics and interview, etc. were addressed to her, not him.

I can't imagine enough time has passed to know for sure if she was approved in the end or not.  

In his first post he said he was married in April, and that they had their USCIS interview recently. That timeline matches my own, approximately 6 months. A week or so after their interview, USCIS sends a congratulatory letter to the applicant saying that her green card is in production and will be mailed - to her, not her sponsor - in a few weeks.

He has every right to be aggressive and protect what she hasn't taken yet.  In her mind she has already taken his home, car, money and credit cards.  One of my best friends is a dentist, and went through this,  had his marriage annulled, it still cost him $12 grand.

And what will Wayne achieve by breaking the law and confiscating her and her daughter's green cards? He'll irritate her in the short term, that's for sure. But his wife knows they were approved and will without a doubt tell her attorney. Her attorney will no doubt note mom and daughter's missing cards and contact USCIS. USCIS will no doubt check their records, ask Wayne's wife to fill out a replacement and change of address form and mail her new cards. Her attorney knows there is precedence to accuse Wayne of abuse for his actions, ultimately screwing him further in any settlement while filling in the blanks on his wife's I-360 spousal abuse petition.

[William3rd]

As Jet pointed out earlier, once Wayne married and filed for AOS, at that point all correspondence from USCIS was addressed to his wife, he was cut out of the loop. All Notices of Action, appointments for biometrics and interview, etc. were addressed to her, not him.

In his first post he said he was married in April, and that they had their USCIS interview recently. That timeline matches my own, approximately 6 months. A week or so after their interview, USCIS sends a congratulatory letter to the applicant saying that her green card is in production and will be mailed - to her, not her sponsor - in a few weeks.

And what will Wayne achieve by breaking the law and confiscating her and her daughter's green cards? He'll irritate her in the short term, that's for sure. But his wife knows they were approved and will without a doubt tell her attorney. Her attorney will no doubt note mom and daughter's missing cards and contact USCIS. USCIS will no doubt check their records, ask Wayne's wife to fill out a replacement and change of address form and mail her new cards. Her attorney knows there is precedence to accuse Wayne of abuse for his actions, ultimately screwing him further in any settlement while filling in the blanks on his wife's I-360 spousal abuse petition.

YEP- all part of the control aspects of being a batterer. She is already warming up that VAWA claim. That is why she is bailing out after getting the first green card.  Good faith but terminated by divorce. I can hear the story already. . .  "he beat me, he want me to be the prostitute, he look at my daughter in the sexual way"

Go for the annulment. Look up Marriage of Rabie in California for one court's opinion.

If you win, she is done, done, done.


I am trying an annulment case right now against a guy-yes, it works both ways!!!! Trying to get the pastor from hell shipped out.

And- get yourself an attorney that knows what they are doing. I am sure that there is a website for you do it yourselfers-probably VAWAJourney.com or something like that. However, you really have a lot to lose here.

[BC]

And what will Wayne achieve by breaking the law and confiscating her and her daughter's green cards? He'll irritate her in the short term, that's for sure. But his wife knows they were approved and will without a doubt tell her attorney. Her attorney will no doubt note mom and daughter's missing cards and contact USCIS. USCIS will no doubt check their records, ask Wayne's wife to fill out a replacement and change of address form and mail her new cards. Her attorney knows there is precedence to accuse Wayne of abuse for his actions, ultimately screwing him further in any settlement while filling in the blanks on his wife's I-360 spousal abuse petition.

Yeah is quite interesting how some kind of intrinsic 'rights' pop up when dealing with a MOB wife that would never come up with an AW when the poop hits the fan.

Anyone ever try to force an AW to go back to whatever town she came from?  Just doesn't work that way.

Good wife, bad wife doesn't really matter.. wife is wife IMHO and it should make not a darn bit of difference if she came from down the street or halfway around the planet, or even who she was foolin around with for that matter.

Much better off getting those green cards to their proper destination on a silver platter.

MOB does not give a right to be, or act irresponsibly.. nor does it give the right to shuck responsibility and obligations regardless of who is at fault.. -after all, nobody was holding a gun at the back of those walking up the aisle.

[Misha]

MOB does not give a right to be, or act irresponsibly.. nor does it give the right to shuck responsibility and obligations regardless of who is at fault.. -after all, nobody was holding a gun at the back of those walking up the aisle.

I agree. Perhaps it would make think more if they understood that no matter how long they are married the woman is most likely to stay and they are certainly going to pay one way or another. Might make some people think twice before getting married. 

[Wayne]

If I earned more money and had less debts, everything may have worked out.  Wife was expecting a better life.  Still, that is no excuse for cheating.

Daughter and I had a very good relationship.  I treat her just the same as my other two daughters, who are now adults.  I am probably the closest thing to a real Father that daughter has ever had.  When I was cleaning up after they left in Daughter's room, I found some greeting cards.  Most of them were in Russian and they were all brought back from Russia.  Included in daughter's collection, were ALL of the greeting cards that I had sent to wife!  In daughter's dresser drawer, she had saved the wedding decorations.  Daughter and I got along just fine and there never any problems. 

I was married before and we had 4 children.  The divorce started when they were still young.  I tried to get custody of all the children--but is almost impossible for the Father to get custody!  When X got custody, I hardly ever got my visitations.  Finally, the fiend of the court made a "show cause" hearing.  The judge found X in contempt of court and ordered make-up visitations.  He came very close to putting X in jail.  X followed the visitations rules for a while, then went back to her old ways.  I did nothing about it because I did not want X to go to jail because of what it would do to our children. 

So now I will tell you how happy I was to have a child, daughter, into my home.  You know, I love children and nothing would make me happier than to have another child.  Of course, how do you have a child if you don't make love! 

So, when I looked to FSU countries for a younger woman I was really wanting to start a new family.  There was one 35 year old Ukrainain woman who was never married and wanted to have a child.  I wrote to her for about 6 months, but never went to meet her.  I think that was she less attractive, but a much better choice for me.

So what do I do now?

[Gtex]

Wayne,
Good that you can think of the future, but you can not go there now.  Get the current mess cleaned up.  Reread the earlier pages of this thread (maybe talk to Maxx) and move quickly.
Then, and only then (after this is resolved) move forward.   And when it is that time, first learn the lessons from what has happened.  This may be happening already as you realize you may have let the right one get away without even meeting. 
Many FSU women will gladly consider more kids and if you accept existing children you will have the pick of many. 
Good luck and get this current debacle finished.  NOW!

[Vaughn]

Wayne,

  I've been away from RWD awhile and am dismayed to read about your
situation. I have to agree with Gtex - focus on smart and safe damage
control with local legal guidance as mentioned upthread....

  Is the transmissionless vehicle worth repairing? If not, can you swing
qualifying for a used car loan via a credit union? 

I think that was she less attractive, but a much better choice for me.

  Take care of the present now, and you'll set the table for making a far
better choice in the future. Hang in there.

Vaughn

[BC]

If I earned more money and had less debts, everything may have worked out.  Wife was expecting a better life.  Still, that is no excuse for cheating.

Wayne,

This is a very expensive venture.  Financial hardships cause the demise of many relationships regardless of the letter before 'W'.  Any other letter besides 'A' before the 'W' brings a host of other stressors into play that in their sum can break the camels back.

Surely a woman has expectations.. The AW will figure out the situation quickly, stay or bail, but the RW goes in quite 'blind' and is quite 'stuck' and might quickly think of available alternatives.

One thing I have stressed to those interested in this venture is whatever you do, if you are already in debt, wait till it's paid and never go in debt chasing women around the world, or even block.  Spend your last dime, but don't burn plastic.

My intent here is not to browbeat you.  You have hit on a very important area and your direct experience can help many along the way make better choices..

I hope you can share more of your experience in this area.

[Shadow]

Wayne I have to agree with the other here. It is good that you think about the future, but do not get ahead of yourself.
First clean up the current mess, work out your debts and make sure to be stable in emotions.

Then, and only then, it is time to start looking for new people in your life.

[Wayne]

I had installed a dead bolt lock on the door.  Today, she came with an officer.  My son opened the door and let them in.  She removed the lock.

[Maxx2]

I had installed a dead bolt lock on the door.  Today, she came with an officer.  My son opened the door and let them in.  She removed the lock.

She has already made an abuse claim. Her removal of the lock is so she enter your home while you are there and stage an incident. That is why she doesn't want your son there as a witness although he might be disqualified by a judge as being biased if he was to be called. In short she needs or thinks she needs a restraining order to secure her I-360 self petition. You need to set up a hidden surveillance camera (check the legality of this first) and put wedges onto the doors while you are home. I would also be careful that she doesn't come in while you are gone and wait for your arrival. Like I said over and over again in these times things get really crazy. Read what I wrote on page one and then read it again and read between the lines.


Maxx

[Misha]

I had installed a dead bolt lock on the door.  Today, she came with an officer.  My son opened the door and let them in.  She removed the lock.

Is there any way you could go live with you son for the time being? There is a risk that she may empty the house, but it will be a lot cheaper in the long run buying new furniture than defending yourself in court.

[BC]

She has already made an abuse claim. Her removal of the lock is so she enter your home while you are there and stage an incident. That is why she doesn't want your son there as a witness although he might be disqualified by a judge as being biased if he was to be called. In short she needs or thinks she needs a restraining order to secure her I-360 self petition. You need to set up a hidden surveillance camera (check the legality of this first) and put wedges onto the doors while you are home. I would also be careful that she doesn't come in while you are gone and wait for your arrival. Like I said over and over again in these times things get really crazy. Read what I wrote on page one and then read it again and read between the lines.


Maxx

Although you may be right, what's wrong with sitting down with both lawyers present and working things out?  "Houston, we have a problem.."

Seems though that emotions override any sense of logic and good common sense..

My thoughts tend toward the fact that the train coming was seen long ago, but no action taken to get off the tracks.. - as if hopes that 'maybe it will be better tomorrow' clouded all senses for many months.

All results of a total breakdown in communication..

[Wayne]

Son called.  She is at the house moving back in.  Too late to set up a hidden camera.  Son lives with his mother, not near me.  I have no where else to go.

[Maxx2]

Although you may be right, what's wrong with sitting down with both lawyers present and working things out?  "Houston, we have a problem.."

Seems though that emotions override any sense of logic and good common sense..

My thoughts tend toward the fact that the train coming was seen long ago, but no action taken to get off the tracks.. - as if hopes that 'maybe it will be better tomorrow' clouded all senses for many months.

All results of a total breakdown in communication..

You can't work things out with a GCG. Especially one that has a boyfriend. To go the abuse route claim is the cheapest, fastest, most assured way to get her Legal Permanent Residency card. Otherwise she and her boyfriend will be spending 10's of thousands to an immigration attorney at an attempt to secure her immigration status. If she doesn't keep that then she will become illegal and lose her work authorisation status.      

[BC]

Son called.  She is at the house moving back in.  Too late to set up a hidden camera.  Son lives with his mother, not near me.  I have no where else to go.

Wayne,

Then ask her just one question... 'What do you want?'..

Nothing more, nothing less..

[Maxx2]

I would also be careful that she doesn't come in while you are gone and wait for your arrival.

Maxx

I seen it coming. I was thinking that she would move some of her things back in. Live there a while with Wayne. Say that they made up. And then in a week or two overturn some furniture, scratch her arms, pull her hair, slam her face into a wall and wait for Wayne to come home from work. Then dial 911 as he enters the door.