Be aware, this is going to be a long post!!!
I was going to wait a somewhat longer period of time before I came to the boards & posted this, but I found myself with nothing to do & unable to sleep as instructed so decided what the hey, might as well get on with it.
Roger as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I know we will make it, it just won't be as easy as it could have been, but being tougher than nails & meaner than a rabid rattler has its advantages.
First, I would like to thank everyone for their Well Wishes & heartfelt concern for my speedy recovery. As you can tell I have so far beat the Grim Reaper out of a new pair of Cowboy Boots! :cowboy: It is comforting knowing that one has many friends that care for his well being & I thank you from the heart, each & every one.
I would like to offer a special Thank You to those who phoned my wife during this most stressful time & gave her the moral support she needed so desperately. It helped her to know that she was not alone & will never be alone in our most desperate hours.
I returned home at about 11AM our time Friday morning & am under strict orders to relax as much as possible without trying to be totally sedate. Kind of a catch 22 I think! Anybody who knows me knows that taking a break is not something that I aspire to in voluptuous quantities. I have always been & always will be a very active person & very passionate in my actions & beliefs. That being said however, I find that a somewhat large portion of my energy has been stolen from me. Fighting the Grim Reaper comes with a price which I gladly paid & will recover from.
All that being said I would like to fill in some gaps left by others as to the history of my condition & a couple of observations regarding my treatment, etc.
First & foremost, I was born with heart disease as was my father & his father before him. No male on my father's side of the family has lived to collect his pension. This is something I have known all my life & have lived with all my life. Hence my tag line!
I had my first experience with angina at the age of 22 & from that point on till age 39 I would experience an attack anywhere from 3-5 years apart depending on what I was doing & how stressful the situation in which I found myself. In 1989 at the age of 39, I had the Big One, as I call it. A total collapse of the left ventricle of my heart. Never before & never since have I experienced such pain & helplessness than on that warm September day when I collapsed on the set of Small Sacrifices right at the feet of Ryan O'Neal!
I was rushed from the set by an ambulance that was on standby on set all the time we were shooting to the University Hospital in Edmonton, Alberta. There I was given an experimental drug, at the time, TPA, but no longer because of its success in my case & many others, & I was admitted to intensive care for 14 days & another 7 on the open Cardiac Ward. I was at that time a city employee so was fortunate enough to have all the insurance & best medical care money could buy. A far cry from that which I experienced here, but that is for later telling.
From that time to this, I experienced no episodes & truly felt that after 16 years, I had managed what no other male member of my family has & that was to beat the odds & the Reaper of his coveted prize, my hat & boots!!! Unfortunately as this recent attack attests I was sadly, mistaken.
This episode however was much like the ones before the Big One & I suffered no where near the amount of pain that I did at that time. I won't say I didn't suffer any as that would be a lie, it just wasn't as bad as the Big One but it was still bloody painful.
I will say that Hospital #7 in Tver is in comparison to the University Hospital back home, a dingy, drab, melancholy place whose very existence should be totally eradicated. A sterilized environment it is definitely not! :numb: My first night, with my wife by my side was spent battling mosquitoes & other buzzing insects that continued to elude us in how they were entering the room. As I was in a private room & the door & windows were all closed we surmised that their only way in was through an air vent that was placed high above us & directly to the outside world. Fortunately, my brother in law on visiting the next day brought with him a plug-in insect killing device which worked rather well & the rest of my stay was virtually, insect free. There was the odd cockroach that I began discovering after about 4 days as my sleeping habits became more erratic & I found myself waking late at night & in full darkness turning on my bedside lamp & seeing the little buggers scurrying for darkness. Sometimes they made it & sometimes my slipper was quicker. Rather than being the fastest gun in the west, I am now renowned as the quickest slipper on the ward!
I cannot fault the decrepit state of the hospital on the backs of the caregivers. They were of no less or more concerned with my wellbeing as those in Canada & in some ways even more. They were each & every one very professional, kind, courteous & understanding of my predicament & I during the end of my stay, to my wife's amazement, have made a few new Russian friends. It continues to boggle her that I still am no where near fluent in the language but can still communicate with people & make friends with those who also do not speak my language, she just shakes her head & takes it as my gift. :vibes:
Vladimir, my lead Doctor & Cardiologist was a very experienced professional & though he was working with equipment that was outdated before the beginning of the Second World War, he knew his business & gave me excellent care. Irina, my second Cardiologist & I do confess to being my favourite & I looked forward to her daily visits to check my pulse, which I also must admit I thought was racing at her mere touch. She had the most beautiful brown eyes & was about, at least I judged her to be in her late 20's, 6' tall with long blonde hair & a smile that could melt ice or butter. For you guys looking, yes, she is single, however she doesn't speak a lick of English & I was unable to persuade her to join our program as she feels quite comfortable where she is at this point in her life. An excellent caregiver & caring personality.
Galina, a dynamic elderly matron with a cheerful personality who became the brunt of a couple of my practical jokes, which she took in stride I might add, was by far my favourite personage. Although she spoke no English & I very little Russian, we became fast friends. She began treating me as one of her own family & took it upon herself to help my Valya & become her friend as well. She was a very versatile & hard working lady who always managed to inject humour into any situation which is sorely needed in the cardiac ward! She started work at about 6AM every morning by mopping floors & saying Good morning to me & everybody else on the ward, she then scrubbed up & came around with her tray of syringes to dole out our injections & after that prepared the morning meal & called all those who were capable to the dining room with a cheerful Malchick & Davooshkii which we all thought rather funny to be so called at our ages. She worked until 6PM everyday, putting in long hours & I cannot recall one moment that she wasn't smiling & trying to inject cheer throughout the ward, but had a particular sinister grin whenever she came to stick a needle in my arse. I began to think she took great pleasure in this as her revenge on me for my practical jokes! A lovely lady who deserves much credit for the recovery of many I think.
Then there was Nickoli, a fellow patient and ex-WW2 Soviet Air Force Pilot with whom I chatted at length as he did know some English & we got on famously as he regaled me with his stories of combat, triumph & defeat. A very knowledgeable man in the art of air warfare there is no doubt. While I was there, I had the privilege of meeting some of his visitors & comrades in arms, men so heavily laden with medals that I was in awe at their achievements.
And Valentina, a Nurse who was always so cheerful & friendly it is a sheer impossibility to imagine her without a smile on her lips. Her & my Valya spent much time together gabbing & getting to know each other quite well. Who also took great delight in sticking the needle in me for my daily intravenous injections.
Those are the most memorable personalities I encountered but there were many more who were very good at their jobs & took very good care of me despite the lack of modern equipment & sterile surroundings.
The food as has been mentioned was below that served in prisons in the west I suspect. In fact, I would go so far to say that to be eating in a prison in the west would be a delight compared to the slop we were served. Again, I cannot blame the staff. They are allotted only so much money to make things happen so steak is not on the menu, but mush & stale bread three times a day is.
I also had to supply my own cup & eating utensils, as they don't supply them. They do have numerous cracked & chipped bowls that miraculously hold the mush without it leaking all over the table.
The sitting room where I advanced to on about my 5th day to sit & read was a real eye opener. My first time there I walked in & sat down with my book in my hand & at first didn't notice as I was eyeballing the different plants that were very well tended & gave the room a most comfortable feeling, then I looked up. There I discovered a large cavity where the ceiling should have been. Over the years, sections had crumbled & fallen due to the leaking roof until there was a large area of bare concrete. So bare & worn that I could in places see the rebar that even I, not being a man of renowned concrete work know should not be visible to the naked eye. Valentina, the nurse, cautioned me not to sit in the chair I had chosen as it had been clobbered on more than one occasion & guided me to a safe area across the room where the ceiling was still intact at which I thought; we could really use some of that police tape from NYPD Blue to rope off that most dangerous area.
As Roger mentioned in my letter to him, I did not & cannot obtain Medical Insurance because of my condition. Everything that is done to you or you receive you must pay for. Now don't get me wrong, I ain't crying over spilt milk. We made our choice to spend our savings on the business & then this happened, it was all a matter of timing & this just happened to be, the wrong time. I expect nothing from nobody & I ask for nothing, I made my bed, as my father used to say, & I'll lay in it, & Valya feels the same way. We don't want or expect any charity.
Now to those who have told me I should quit smoking & parting & living on the edge. Sorry, I cannot comply & it would do no good anyway. I have dealt with several Doctors over the years & all have said there is no cure other than a total transplant to cure what I have & whether I smoke or don't or consume fat & cholesterol or don't, will not make an iota of difference to my situation. At most, it has been predicted that I may extent my life by 2-3 years if I were to quit smoking & begin eating properly.
I have only one thing to say in the matter. I can quit smoking & I drink very little anyway, and I could start dieting & give up all the foods I love & maybe live 2-3 years longer & die a miserable old man that has denied himself all the pleasures of life. Or I can continue to smoke & eat what I enjoy & drink as I do when I party & perhaps die 2-3 years earlier but with a smile on my face & cheer in my heart knowing that I have lived life to its fullest & denied myself no pleasures. Which way do you think I will choose? Right you are my friends, sex, drugs & Rock & Roll!!!
When my time comes, it comes. I have never been what you would call a religious man but I do believe in a higher power & I also believe that our time on this mortal plain is determined at the day of our birth upon it. I don't believe that death is the end but only the beginning of a new adventure and should my time come before that of my family & friends, then I say, I shall see you on the other side & may your journey be as exciting & memorable as mine has been. Don't weep for me for I have found peace, but hold your glasses high & drink a toast to me & the new Adventure that I shall undertake.
Again, thank you, your condolences were much welcomed & appreciated.
__________________
RVR Canadian CowboyDyin' is easy, it's livin' that's hard! 
