St. Petersburg: Any Advice?

[Sculpto]

Ambach.. I am not trying to pick a fight.. you posted something that doesn't seem right to me.. I am calling you out on it.. thats what forums are for.. you can choose to be defensive about it or you can answer the questions that myself and others have asked.. your choice.. I could care less what you do... but I still say there is a skunky stink in the air...

[ambach123]

Sculpto I got nothing to do with you .

[Faux Pas]

Ambach.. I am not trying to pick a fight.. you posted something that doesn't seem right to me.. I am calling you out on it.. thats what forums are for.. you can choose to be defensive about it or you can answer the questions that myself and others have asked.. your choice.. I could care less what you do... but I still say there is a skunky stink in the air...

He opened this thread seeking advice on St Petersburg. You are partially right, this is a forum. Kindly stick to the topic or go start your own. You are left to your own devices to guess as to what happened with his previous relationship. Sculpto, you are no authority to be answered to.

[Gator]

Ambach,

You were really convinced about the UW you met.  Some of us warned you that it could be infatuation.  Nevertheless, you were so convinced that you rushed to closure.   

I find it difficult that you learned so much more about your UW after returning to America that you went from wanting to marry her to not wanting to see her ever again.  Maybe you learned something about yourself.


So now you think St. Petersburg is different.  As a City it is.  As a source for finding a potential wife, there is nil difference.  As with Kiev, the local RW get much attention from Europeans.  We can comment about St. Piter's dark days, damp cold weather, the Hermitage, and whatever else you would like to know about St. Petersburg; however, unless you tell us more I believe you easily could make the same mistakes in St. Petersburg as you did in Kiev.   To help you, we need to know what you did not like about UW.

Assuming that you will remain reticent, I offer the following advice:  There are many agencies in St. Petersburg, much more than in Moscow and about the same as Kiev (so that tells you something).  Work with different agencies.  Also, write RW directly  through the free sites and minimum cost sites.  Do both, be very selective about whom you write, take your time in correspondence, go in early spring, and perhaps you will find what you seek.

[topofthekey]

Being someone who wasn't a big fan of Ambachs TR i'll just second what Sculpto wrote. I'm reading about "it puts the lotion on the skin" in the TR and it looks like Ambach is declaring he is banging his soulmate. Now we get a vague I moved on response. I was just chalking his TR up to a different writing style or just different opinions of what was apporiate to write... but now I'm really questioning his character. I think he kinda swung the door open for these kinds of questions based on his recent TR. Since I really don't know the whole situation I could be off base, but I'm just going on the info I have at hand.. his posts. But anyways I leave my remarks at that.

[Ade]

He opened this thread seeking advice on St Petersburg. You are partially right, this is a forum. Kindly stick to the topic or go start your own. You are left to your own devices to guess as to what happened with his previous relationship. Sculpto, you are no authority to be answered to.

Personally, I wouldn't want to help and advise a sex tourist so his past behaviour and reasoning certainly have a bearing on a thread like this.

[BillyB]

Personally, I wouldn't want to help and advise a sex tourist so his past behaviour and reasoning certainly have a bearing on a thread like this.

Ambach may have mentioned too much detail pertaining to physical intimacy in his last trip report but that doesn't make him a sex tourist. Keep in mind, sex tourists are the customers of prostitutes that some men here vigorously defend.

If you go to St. Pete in May, reserve accommodations months ahead of time or you'll be sleeping on the streets. That is the best time to go because unlike Winter, many beautiful ladies come out of their apartment to enjoy the weather.

[Ade]

Ambach may have mentioned too much detail pertaining to physical intimacy in his last trip report but that doesn't make him a sex tourist.

I didn't say he was.

I also wouldn't want to help men that are losers (for want of a better word) that travel abroad, meet women and make rash promises and/or mislead them. You know the type, the ones that make all WM look bad.

I'll withhold judgement until he explains his abrupt u-turn with that UW of his.

[Pike]

Quite funny that some here think a guy has to promise a FSU gal to marry them or start a K type of process to have sex with them.

What do you have to promise an WW?  Nothing . . . it's usually just show up for the third date.  Nothing different in FSU.

Must be a sad life when the guy doesn't know that FSU gals, just like most gals from all countries, like to have sex for the sake of having sex.

These are not creatures of a different species.  They are women.

Seems many are believing the hype written by the agencies that these gals are virgin princesses just sitting around waiting for a white knight.

They have sexual urges that they want fulfilled.  If the relationship proves to be long lasting, that's OK.  If not, that's OK also.

The feelings of an FSU gal won't be hurt nearly as much as happens to the WM.  They very quickly move on with their life.

[Misha]

Ambach may have mentioned too much detail pertaining to physical intimacy in his last trip report but that doesn't make him a sex tourist. Keep in mind, sex tourists are the customers of prostitutes that some men here vigorously defend.

You're starting this again Billy. Again, Billy, just because a woman can't make a decent borscht doesn't mean she is a prostitute   Besides, when women complain about "sex tourists" they are not complaining about men going to Russia to sleep with prostitutes. RW for the most part wouldn't care about that. How most RW define sexual tourism are men going to Russia or Ukraine or wherever simply to bed women that are not prostitutes. That is these men say that they are looking for a relationship and a wife, and simply use in their opinion naive and trusting women for sex. It has nothing to do with prostitutes (though I have to say that you are obsessed by the topic and keep bringing it up).

This is what I gather. Too often there seems to be a need for some me to prove their "manhood" and the way they do this is through their attempts to demonstrate their virility.

Exhibit A is Pike. His constant references to have bedded 100 RW (or is it 100 RW AND 100 UW?) is an example of this. His comment about men being "pussy whipped" was a confirmation of that attitude in my mind. He needs to brag about his exploits to prove his manhood. He goes overseas as it is easier for him to add women to his score chart from what I gather  

When I made the comment about sexual tourism, I was thinking about the woman in Ukraine that Ambach had sexual relations with and then described every intimate detail on this board. He tells us that he is engaged and then without saying a word starts asking about St. Petersburg because he want to try out a new country and a new agency. What was the reason? I doubt she would have done anything to be dumped so quickly as otherwise Ambach would certainly have told us.

So, I am trying to see it from the woman in Ukraine's perspective: she goes, meets an American, believes that she developed a real connection with him, slept with him and was happy to hear that he wanted to marry her and come back and visit her. [I thought it was foolish to rush things, but that is another matter.] He then goes back home and in a couple of weeks, from what I gather, dumps her. What is she likely thinking and feeling at the moment? More than likely she believes that Ambach is a sex tourist who came to Ukraine simply to have sex with women.

Here is a case where I actually agree with Sculpto: something just does not smell right. And, I agree with Seriously Jaded, why should we help/enable those whose actions and behaviors are potentially less than sincere? I would certainly like to hear Ambach's explanation.  

[ambach123]

I am not the one to accuse anyone of anything specially a woman I was closed to. But I realized that we had differences that could not be overcome. That does not mean that either of us is right or wrong.

For example she is very religious, goes to church every Sunday. I am not, I go to church once a year, even if then. Though I respect her religion, I am not sure such vast differences in beliefs is good for marriage. I could not see myself driving a considerable distance away to her church every Sunday and sit through her services. She wanted to raise the children the same way. I knew she was religious, we did not discuss this in detail until the second meeting.

I have absolutelly nothing against her; just not sure if we are a good match.

[Misha]

I am not the one to accuse anyone of anything specially a woman I was closed to. But I realized that we had differences that could not be overcome. That does not mean that either of us is right or wrong.

I have absolutelly nothing against her; just not sure if we are a good match.

Ambach, thanks for the clarification! You are right, in the long run such differences will lead to problems. This is one reason why it is necessary to know a woman. In my experience, it is also very important to know what you do not want in a woman as well as what you want. Before meeting my wife, I had a pretty defined  list of the things that I wanted and did not want in a woman, and I eliminated anybody who did not meet my expectations immediately.

[Pike]

This is what I gather. Too often there seems to be a need for some me to prove their "manhood" and the way they do this is through their attempts to demonstrate their virility.

Exhibit A is Pike. His constant references to have bedded 100 RW (or is it 100 RW AND 100 UW?) is an example of this. His comment about men being "pussy whipped" was a confirmation of that attitude in my mind. He needs to brag about his exploits to prove his manhood. He goes overseas as it is easier for him to add women to his score chart from what I gather  

I truly don't mind criticism and differences of opinion.  But why can't those who want to criticize at least keep the facts straight?

I have repeatedly said that I am not bragging since I realize my numbers are very minuscule compared to someone who really has something to brag about.  I have spoken of numbers so that readers can understand my point of reference and compare to the words of others who basically have zero experience or experience with 10 or so women including their wives.

Anyone who comments about what they consider to be my bragging are simply demonstrating their own paucity with respect to the average man.

And I have repeatedly written that I travel overseas for business.  But since I am a heterosexual man, I date women wherever I am.  Given that sex is freely available in every country, it would be truly stupid for any man to travel outside his own country solely for the purpose of having sex.

True, it is easier to have sex with FSU women than with WW, but that reason alone would not be enough to expend the extra funds and time necessary to travel to the FSU for that purpose.

And the concept of sex tourism seems to exist mostly on this website.  It reminds me of the idea of sexual harassment in the USA.  If you follow some of the legislation and see the women pushing such, it should be apparent that sexual harassment seems to be a big issue with lesbians and very doggy looking women . . . the very women that actually have almost zero reason to be worried about it.

The same can be said for the idea of sex tourism.  I have yet to have any of the hundreds of FSU women I have dated ever utter anything close to the concept of sex tourism.  The idea of sex tourism seems to be a worry of those women who have no chance of ever being involved in such . . . along with quite a few men on these boards.

I do realize and understand that there is a serious world problem with sex tourism involving children in some Asian and other countries . . . but I think the idea is pretty far fetched when applied to consenting adults.

[Ade]

Quite funny that some here think a guy has to promise a FSU gal to marry them or start a K type of process to have sex with them.

What do you have to promise an WW?  Nothing . . . it's usually just show up for the third date.  Nothing different in FSU.

Must be a sad life when the guy doesn't know that FSU gals, just like most gals from all countries, like to have sex for the sake of having sex.

These are not creatures of a different species.  They are women.

Seems many are believing the hype written by the agencies that these gals are virgin princesses just sitting around waiting for a white knight.

They have sexual urges that they want fulfilled.  If the relationship proves to be long lasting, that's OK.  If not, that's OK also.

The feelings of an FSU gal won't be hurt nearly as much as happens to the WM.  They very quickly move on with their life.

I find it bizarre that you're actually unable understand what is being said here; maybe you're being deliberately obtuse just to troll?

And, FWIW, your reasoning that having sex with many 100's of women makes anyone experienced in anything, at least in terms of relationships is inaccurate at best. Would you like me to explain why or can you figure it out yourself?

[Sculpto]

Ambach,
I can understand if you felt there were big differences, but, you also knew about them before you went to see the woman so I still do not understand why you are dumping her so easily after you had what sounded like a very good time with her.  JMO... you will do whats best for you and that is ok.

And the concept of sex tourism seems to exist mostly on this website.  It reminds me of the idea of sexual harassment in the USA.  If you follow some of the legislation and see the women pushing such, it should be apparent that sexual harassment seems to be a big issue with lesbians and very doggy looking women . . . the very women that actually have almost zero reason to be worried about it.

The same can be said for the idea of sex tourism.  I have yet to have any of the hundreds of FSU women I have dated ever utter anything close to the concept of sex tourism.  The idea of sex tourism seems to be a worry of those women who have no chance of ever being involved in such . . . along with quite a few men on these boards.

I do realize and understand that there is a serious world problem with sex tourism involving children in some Asian and other countries . . . but I think the idea is pretty far fetched when applied to consenting adults.

The links are for Pike... and anyone else who doubts what is really going on from prostitution to seduction based on lies...

http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/conversation2795.html

http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/quote-84174.html

http://www.openworld.gov/news/print.php?id=320&lang=1

http://www.kyivpost.com/nation/29898

This last one from the Kiev Post is the most direct in regard to western men that go to Ukraine promising love and marriage for the purpose of getting laid.  Sorry Pike.. but even if you have been more responsible this stuff is going on all the time and obviously to the point where women are getting really unhappy about it.

[Blues Fairy]

The feelings of an FSU gal won't be hurt nearly as much as happens to the WM.  They very quickly move on with their life.

Wow. 
Are you a telepath, Pike?  You read the minds of FSU women?

[Diplomacy]

Ambach:

Relationships are compromise.  Yes, religion is an important aspect of a marriage and especially when children are involved.  I would think long and hard though if that is not something you see yourself doing.  Not to say you have or have not already.  I could see if you were against or did not believe in Religion.  The reality of marriage is a whole lot of things you could not see yourself doing before you were married.  A few hours on a Sunday verse giving up all you have ever known.  Be careful on that one.

 Pike:

The sex tourist term is not specific to FSU and is found all over the globe.  It is not specific to here and very broad in definition from illegal to ethics only.  Whether you care to defend or promote is your call.  It is fair to look at the possibility that more than one of the girls you have conquered has felt like she was a victim whether you want to justify or not.

It is the same as any player you just run the chance of ruining it for another guy.  You got what you wanted, and I am sure there are quite a few good time girls in the mix.  100 girls in any amount of a lifetime is a lot, if you are truly looking to get married.  It may very well you find the flaws in everyone and no girl may be good enough. 

The reality is it does not matter what the truth is. If any girl is telling her friends about being a victim, you just raised the risk factor on that side and may influence someone not doing this.

[Misha]

I have repeatedly said that I am not bragging since I realize my numbers are very minuscule compared to someone who really has something to brag about.  I have spoken of numbers so that readers can understand my point of reference and compare to the words of others who basically have zero experience or experience with 10 or so women including their wives.

Pike, you do like to prove my point. Here you are puffing yourself up to laud your "experience." However, I would value a happily married man who was able to sexually satisfy his wife over decades than a man who is trying to fill an empty ego with a string of alleged conquests. Having slept with 100 women would not count as experience in my books. It might simply mean that you slept with 100 women who did not want to have sex with you a second time LOL.

Anyone who comments about what they consider to be my bragging are simply demonstrating their own paucity with respect to the average man.

Again, you are the one always bringing up the number 100 as a magical talisman.

Given that sex is freely available in every country, it would be truly stupid for any man to travel outside his own country solely for the purpose of having sex.

Sex may be freely available, but perhaps the women you want to have sex with in your home country do not want to have sex with you? Men go to great lengths to satisfy their egos.

True, it is easier to have sex with FSU women than with WW, but that reason alone would not be enough to expend the extra funds and time necessary to travel to the FSU for that purpose.

So, do you tell the women that you sleep with beforehand that they will simply be a number and that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with them? Do you promise them more than you know you will deliver?

It reminds me of the idea of sexual harassment in the USA.  If you follow some of the legislation and see the women pushing such, it should be apparent that sexual harassment seems to be a big issue with lesbians and very doggy looking women . . . the very women that actually have almost zero reason to be worried about it.

Seems to me like you are speaking from personal experience here.

The same can be said for the idea of sex tourism.  I have yet to have any of the hundreds of FSU women I have dated ever utter anything close to the concept of sex tourism.  The idea of sex tourism seems to be a worry of those women who have no chance of ever being involved in such . . . along with quite a few men on these boards.

Well presumably the women familiar with the term would not have dated you  :evil:

[Pike]

Quote from: Pike on Today at 12:17:52 PM
The feelings of an FSU gal won't be hurt nearly as much as happens to the WM.  They very quickly move on with their life.

Wow. 
Are you a telepath, Pike?  You read the minds of FSU women?

- - - - - -

Hi BF.  You are one of the most logical of the women  who post here, so surprising that this post was not up to your standards!!  :-))

The point being, you asked if I could read the minds of the women . . . but you never asked about my ability to read the minds of the men.

As you well know, the answer is no to both cases.  So I am just like you in that I draw my conclusions from talking with and listening to people in the two groupings . . . FSU women and WM.

Based on my discussions and observations, it is my opinion that: 
The feelings of an FSU gal won't be hurt nearly as much as happens to the WM.  They very quickly move on with their life.

I think the 'why' reasons as to the truth of this has mostly to do with the difference in the cultures and the situations that the two groups have faced during their lifetimes.  Such differences have been discussed on these forums at great length in differing contexts.

[Pike]

Sculpto:  The links are for Pike... and anyone else who doubts what is really going on from prostitution to seduction based on lies...

- - - - - -

My comments clearly state I did not doubt there was a problem, but that it was far fetched to apply the term sex tourist in cases of consenting adults.

- - - - - - - --

I do realize and understand that there is a serious world problem with sex tourism involving children in some Asian and other countries . . . but I think the idea is pretty far fetched when applied to consenting adults.

[Pike]

The posts here continue to be quite humorous.  In replies to my posts, the men use the words:  conquered, conquests, victim and 'got what you wanted.'

This indicates the men truly do no understand that most women like sex.  I feel very sorry for those of you who are in relationships with women who are actually not in that category.

And the tops for comic of the day goes to :  "So, do you tell the women that you sleep with beforehand that they will simply be a number and that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with them? "

Yes, of course I do.  This is the same that all men say on their first dates with women.  It is a real conversation starter.

My experiences are derided, but anyone with any experience with FSU or WW would know that most women would laugh in your face if you said such a thing.  Their most likely reply would be:  Who said anything about a (continuing) relationship?

[Misha]

My experiences are derided, but anyone with any experience with FSU or WW would know that most women would laugh in your face if you said such a thing.  Their most likely reply would be:  Who said anything about a (continuing) relationship?

You did not really answer the question, just skirted around it. Are you honest in your dealings with women or do you lead them?

[Gator]

RETURNING TO AMBACH

In my experience, it is also very important to know what you do not want in a woman as well as what you want. Before meeting my wife, I had a pretty defined  list of the things that I wanted and did not want in a woman, and I eliminated anybody who did not meet my expectations immediately.

Exactly.  And something obvious such as "too religious" can be eliminated during correspondence before wasting a few days in meeting.  If some other "deal killer" manages to fall through the cracks in the floor and one does have a meeting, it surely should be discovered during the meeting.


Ambach, you have done well in avoiding a disaster.  You did not do this.  Yet, you find yourself starting over, now knowing that you need to define the religion issue before meeting a RW.  The problem is that there is so much more.  


Ambach, you have wasted the UW's time.  You have also wasted your time and money unless you are either a "sex tourist" or one of those who does not know what he wants but will keep experimenting in the hope that it will magically become crystal clear.  Personally, it sounds as if you are very young and inexperienced (or unwise) about women.   Your sweeping generalizations in other threads also shows that you jump to conclusions with little factual evidence.

To avoid wasting your time again, you first need a period of introspection.   You may discover that you are neither ready nor suited for RW.

[Jooky]

How bizarre.

I just skimmed Ambach's trip report and don't see what the big fuss is about. If Ambach decided he can't commit for a lifetime to a woman he met for a week for whatever reason, it is his decision to make! Personally, I commend him for making his retraction and not going forward with a foolish hasty K-1.

It's the fools who feel obligated to marry someone who they don't truly know and love that end up regretting it years later. Ambach made the mistake, as many do, of falling for the moment and the 'process'. He returned, took a step back and now says he needs much more time to get to know a lady before marriage. Good for you, Ambach!

Regarding 'sex tourism', though it's an unpopular opinion, I tend to agree with Pike.

There are real sex tourists, men who travel to visit brothel and prostitutes. That doesn't bother me. Where I live brothels are legal and regulated. I have no problem with that, and I have no problem with men travelling to my county specifically to engage with prostitutes. If others here consider engaging with prostitutes immoral, that's fine, rant all you want against sex tourists. Ambach does not fit in this category.

Then there are men labelled as 'sex tourists' because why? Because they promised a woman something in exchange for sex and did not deliver?

These woman are consenting freely to sex. They should not expect anything in exchange for sex unless they are prostitutes and have made a specific agreement.

Russian women that hop in the sack a few hours after meeting a Russian man surely would not expect to be rewarded with marriage. In fact if these same women that scream 'sex tourism' would be so easy with the local Russian men (and many surely are) they could expect absolutely nothing.

Do you men out here really make commitments to women just so you can have sex? It's hard for me to believe. It's absolutely unnecessary. In this I agree with Pike. There are plenty of women in Russia that engage in sex because they enjoy it and because they feel comfortable with it, not because they expect some form of compensation.

Where do we read complaints of 'sex tourism'? On Russian women message boards? The same boards where the majority of married women will admit that they were not in love with their husbands when they agreed to marry?

Failed and broken promises are apart from the issue of sex. These often happen in relationships. People change, and people change their minds as they get to know each other or realize they have other options. Lots of people 'waste time' in relationships that don't result in marriage. Lots of people 'waste time' in marriages that result in disaster. It's a sad part of reality and those who deliberately deceive are despicable. But sex between consenting adults is simply that. No promises needed, no compensation and no rewards.

If a woman regrets having sex and not being rewarded for it, her solution is not to drop her panties for a foreigner who comes to visit for a few days.

PS: Happy Birthday Sculpto!  

[Misha]

I do realize and understand that there is a serious world problem with sex tourism involving children in some Asian and other countries . . . but I think the idea is pretty far fetched when applied to consenting adults.

Having sex with children with children simply because it is easier overseas is pedophilia and, yes, it is a form of sex tourism. It is also illegal. IIRC Canada now has laws that pedophiles can be tried in Canada if they travel overseas to have sex with children.

Yes, I agree that there is nothing wrong with sex between consenting adults. However, traveling overseas simply because it is easier to get laid there is a form of sexual tourism as well. True, I don't believe it should be illegal, but it can be quite unethical. At the very least, it is not something that I would take pride in.