St. Petersburg: Any Advice?

[SANDRO43]

Well, you start first with the family, then work up to the neighborhood or the larger community in which a person is located, then the state. Once you have reached the state, then you don't usually have many overarching norms left, though there are of course the various conventions such as the Geneva conventions and others. 

I would object that:
- The family isn't a LARGER society, but its smallest example
- As you progress upwards from family, you're likely to encounter increasing differences

But my basic point is that, contrary to you, I don't believe that there exists a set of "social norms and conventions" that are universally applicable in the area of sexual behaviour. Hence criticising Pike for his is a pointless exercise IMO, objectively speaking.

[Misha]

But my basic point is that, contrary to you, I don't believe that there exists a set of "social norms and conventions" that are universally applicable in the area of sexual behaviour. Hence criticising Pike for his is a pointless exercise IMO, objectively speaking.

Well, I reserve the right to critique Pike based on what he posted. This is, for example, one of his comments:

Moonlight, it is always helpful if a person steps back and reflects upon what someone who actually spends a lot of time with them has to say.  We can all do with some self improvement.

Also Moonlight, note that most of the men who respond here will go out of their way to give you and other FSU women compliments and sympathize with you, even when not warranted.  I hope you don't let the majority of men here fool you into believing  that you and other FSU women are as great as they would have you believe.  I know it is nice to get the compliments, but it would be harmful if you let it go to your head and actually believe you are that great.  :-))

Many men here are what we call 'puuussy whipped.'  They will do and say anything and grovel for the chance (no matter what a long-shot) to get a sniff.

Clearly, Pike has issues, and these issues are more than simply his having sex. My reading of this post leads me to conclude that he needs to say that he has had sex with large numbers of women to inflate his sense of masculinity and I also take it to mean that he does not have much respect for women in general and FSU women in particular.

If you want to be part of the Pike fan club, feel free Sandro 

[BC]

Funny thread.

.. Ambach asking advice.

.. Pike is still a magnet reeling in refrigerators.

.. sex tourists 'rule' this forum and they are not even present.

guess we're all just getting a bit bored.

'advice' abounds.. but guess what.. the board is about sharing experience and not giving advice imho.

So with that in mind:

Ambach, it is my direct experience that there is probably a greater chance of finding a mate for marriage by not looking than there is actively looking.. You, as I, may be better off doing nothing except getting our fat butts off the couch every now and then.

Pike, when I hear 'hundreds', my feathers get ruffled and it makes me jealous..  In southern Spain when folks correctly address me as Don Juan it makes me blush.  In any case as long as you and the women you are with are having good honest fun then go for it I say.. - I've seen enough truth in your words to make it worth reading your posts, especially the recent ones.

[SANDRO43]

If you want to be part of the Pike fan club, feel free Sandro 

Misha, I instinctively shy away from ANY fan clubs, but I think you're part of one, the ANTI-Pike fan club . Your privilege, of course.

[Misha]

Misha, I instinctively shy away from ANY fan clubs, but I think you're part of one, the ANTI-Pike fan club . Your privilege, of course.

Well, I found his "pussy whipped" comment quite rude and distasteful, so yes I will be more than happy to be part of the ANTI-Pike fan club LOL.

[Gator]

But who am I to comment on the characters of RW when we've got such a specialist here. 

BF, I assert that a man who bedded 100 women, without once feeling an emotional connection with any of them, would not have the empathy to judge whether a woman was hurt or not.

[Gator]

Well, I found his "pussy whipped" comment quite rude and distasteful, so yes I will be more than happy to be part of the ANTI-Pike fan club LOL.

The top definition of “PW” in Urban Dictionary:

(a) situation whereupon a male is undeniably at the mercy of his high-maintinence girlfriend & answers to her every beck and call, usually followed by the reprioritizing of girlfriend over friends, family, school, food, water, and air, (b) making decisions based on the incentive of sex.

Considering that Pike has bedded 100 women without finding one lasting relationship would suggest he is driven by the hunt for coochie but not necessarily by the coochie itself as a PW man would be.  Presumably Pike does not consider himself enslaved to the degree that he is submissive to his female partners. 

Or is he?  I recall his long trip report and it seemed to me as if he had scheduled much downtime from business, as if he could have completed his business task in half the time and then returned to his home, buddies and family.  Is this not some form of enslavement to the hunt?  Or is it satyriasis?

IMO, it is not sex tourism if Pike were forthright about his intentions.  And we have no conclusive evidence, one way or the other.

I recall that it was generally accepted that Pike dated older women who were starved for attention.  I find this absurd.  From having bounced around Ukraine and Russia, I can attest that many 40-something RW had plenty of local attention.  In fact, some were dating younger RW.  And one of these younger RM was definitely PWed (my wife and I would joke about one case).  Yet there were some older RW who did not have a lot of attention, and the reasons took many forms, some very obvious.

Given a choice of being PWed or suffering from satyriasis, I would select PW.  At least it is not lonely.

[Misha]

Is this not some form of enslavement to the hunt?  Or is it satyriasis?

Given a choice of being PWed or suffering from satyriasis, I would select PW.  At least it is not lonely.

I would also select PW. Sadly, what some men do not realize is that sex is better with the same woman over time. Research has always shown that happily married couples always have more and better sex than those on the "hunt."

I like the concept of satyriasis. I found a nice definition and description in Google books along with one for the Don Juan Complex. In Human Sexuality by Vern L. Bullough and Bonnie Bullough, they write on page 529:

“In satyriasis, the sexual drive is constant, insatiable, impulsive, and uncontrolled, involving many partners and unusual frequency, with no feelings of love for the partner; the partner is merely a vehicle or object rather than an actual participating companion.”

“A satyr finds sex pleasurable but never achieves a feeling of complete sexual satisfaction. Although orgasm occurs most of the time, he still remains unsatisfied; complete physical and psychological gratification is never achieved. This compels him to continually seek anogher partner in the hope of finding gratification.”

In other words, the satyr does get a lot of sex with a lot of partner, but the sex is never truly pleasurable.

Don Juan syndrome: “Once the women are successfully seduced, they are immediately discarded. Underlying this complex is a deep-seated hatred of women; the man has a Madonna-whore complex in which the woman is considered to be good until she succumbs to his advances; after intercourse, she is immediately associated in his mind, with the whore.”

Here again, the underlying feature is the inability to truly love women as people. They are merely objects in the quest, a quest that can never be completed.

[kievstar]

I do not know Pike so can only judge on what he writes.  But men who sleep around and talk a lot about it tend to have confidence issues.  Pike has also wrote that RW are easier than AW.  Pike is having fun and he says he only goes after older women so who really cares.  Regarding sex being better in a serious relationship to a one night stand that depends on the person.  Pike may like the hunt.  Not sure how old Pike is but I see divorced guys doing this about 2 years after marriage, guys with confidence issues, or younger guys.  Referring to guys bedding women and talking about it.  Guys bedding women and not talking are different.

[Sculpto]

Jooky,
Since you asked some specific questions I will try to clarify my position.. though, my experience is limited and you have far more time on the ground than most everyone else it is possible your perspectives are more accurate as I am filling in blanks sometimes...

On my first trip to Ukraine, when I stayed a month in Donetsk, something odd happened.  My friends were introducing me to a lot of girls.. all kinds of girls.. "proper" and party girls and everything in between.  What was especially odd was the interactions with the party girls.  My friend said.. "you will get some tonight.. she is wild".  Well, after the third or fourth time with different party girls when I DID NOT get some.. even though the party at the club was flirty and even erotic in some circumstances.. when the night was over and we would end up back at my apartment I DID NOT get any action.  My friend finally concluded that these girls saw me as an AM differently than they might see a Ukrainian guy or even my Nigerian friends.  He believed they did not want to show me their freaky side because they took me more seriously than they did UM or NM.  I have no way to know if that was true or not, but, since it was a scenario that repeated with different girls it was not hard to draw some conclusions.  Besides, those Nigerian guys had been there seven years, spoke fluent Russian and knew hundreds if not thousands of girls so I took and still take their opinions seriously.

Given that perspective on things I have become suspect about stories like Ambachs.  It simply strikes me as there being some kind of manipulation involved.  I could be wrong.. probably am wrong... given what he has posted most recently.. but the whole commentary struck me the wrong way.  It might even just be Ambachs way of writing that I am reacting to.

As far as alcohol and promises being made that motivate people to become intimate when they might not have otherwise.. I think we all know there are many many shades of gray in this minefield. 

There is a difference between a couple getting caught up in the moment and blurting out I love you and a man who will convince a woman to trust him because he is going to provide the K1 and take care of her.  Maybe she is foolish but she might open her legs because she believes in the man.. not because she is trying to use her venus fly trap to get the man to do something.  Manipulations can occur from any side.  But, the evidence as reported on romance scam forums overwhelmingly has women complaining about the treatment and lies that men made.  Our subgroup of international daters might be in the minority in that women scamming men is more widely publicized, but, that doesn't mean that is what is really going on.  We really don't know the true statistics of who is scamming who in FSUW/WM dating.

[Jooky]

My friend finally concluded that these girls saw me as an AM differently than they might see a Ukrainian guy or even my Nigerian friends.  He believed they did not want to show me their freaky side because they took me more seriously than they did UM or NM.

My guess is that your friends are 'players', you are not and that's why the party girls took you more seriously. Nothing to do with nationality. I've seen the same scenario played out in the US many times. Nightclub party girls are easy, but not for everyone.

[mendeleyev]

Ironically, I did not expect to find this in Ukraine, as I was told that most people are not very religious.

Regarding a country which has celebrated over a thousand years of Christianity, where the public schools and government cafeterias change menus twice a year to conform to the Orthodox Nativity and Easter fasts, where the culture and religion are tightly intertwined, someone told you what?   

One of the definitions of an adult and gentlemen is how much he can keep quiet about the things he and his lady do in private.  What if this lady walked into a room of men where he has spoken so brazenly and openly about her character?  All her confidence and trust would be shattered.  Such are the words of boys, not men.

A couple of years ago a Western man was writing one of my wife's female cousins from Volgograd.  She was so excited about the prospects and they begin to speak on the telephone once each week.  At about the 2 month point he called her with the unexpected news that he would be in Leningrad for the week.  It was some sort of a business trip.

Immediately all the women in the family were calling each other on the telephone.  My wife and mother in Moscow were talking to relatives in Shakhty and Kaluga.  The women from Kaluga were on the telephone to Volgograd. It was such an event! 

But when on the next conversation she asked if he would come to Volgograd to meet her parents and family, not enough time was the answer.  She was disappointed but he asked her to come to him.  Okay, where to stay, was her question.  With me in my hotel room, and bring some sexy lingerie, came the answer.

She was crushed.  Not even to meet the first time and bring the lingerie and stay in a hotel like a prostitute!  All the ladies immediately hated Americans.  This man took a young woman's heart and broke it to pieces.  She wanted to be a wife, not a whore for the weekend.  A man may think such a girl feels nothing, but he is the fool. 

Finally, the World Health Organization has identified Russia-Ukraine-Belarus-Moldova as in an HIV epidemic.  Not just serious, but epidemic in scope.  To travel to Russia and have sex with someone unknown/untested because it may be easy....  Wow, how to chalk that one up?  Carelessness?  Ignorance? (certainly not bliss!) or just stupidity?

[Gator]

Such are the words of boys, not men.....

A man may think such a girl feels nothing, but he is the fool. 

Mendeleyev,

I have always enjoyed your journalistic insight.

[groovlstk]

Actually both of us are heart broken. We were in love. She did not tell me about the degree of her religious beliefs, until later. I just don't think a marriage would be prudent in these circumstances.

Why she witheld that information early on? Most likely not to scare me off.

This reeks of BS. Every deeply religious person I know, in the US and abroad, is never at pains to hide their beliefs nor do they have the slightest shame or feeling that their beliefs are so inappropriate that they may scare someone away.

Be that as it may, Ambach may have his own reasons for breaking this thing off and those reasons may be very personal, I respect his wishes if he doesn't want to air the affair. Regardless, it's better that it happened now and not after his ex-fiancee cut loose of her moorings and left Ukraine.

Ambach, from day 1 you've touted your wealth yet made it abundantly clear that you intended to hang onto every penny until your sweaty palms made poor Abe Lincoln's face turn purple. Looking back now, how much $$ did you spend on your trips to meet your penpal and then fiancee? How much on gifts and USCIS fees?

If I remember correctly, you refused to meet any women who didn't pay their own way to Kiev or who expected you to buy them anything more than a cup of coffee.

After all these months and many thousands of dollars spent, you're back to square one, and your experience with Russian and Ukrainian women is still extremely limited because you a) insisted on doing this on the cheap and b) thought economic stability could give you a free pass on the hard work that couples put in during the getting-to-know-each-other phase.

I'm sure you're sick of the haranguing you get from know-it-all jerks like me, but I'd reckon you would be in a better position at this point in terms of experience and wisdom had you wined and dined a few pro daters, broken away from the agency teat and met women on your own without having your hand held, taken some chances, and visited a few smaller cities and out of the way places. And guess what? You'd be not a penny poorer for it yet much wiser.

[GoodOlBoy]

One of the definitions of an adult and gentlemen is how much he can keep quiet about the things he and his lady do in private.

  

A couple of years ago a Western man was writing one of my wife's female cousins from Volgograd.  She was so excited about the prospects and they begin to speak on the telephone once each week.  At about the 2 month point he called her with the unexpected news that he would be in Leningrad for the week.  It was some sort of a business trip.

But when on the next conversation she asked if he would come to Volgograd to meet her parents and family, not enough time was the answer.  She was disappointed but he asked her to come to him.  Okay, where to stay, was her question.  With me in my hotel room, and bring some sexy lingerie, came the answer.

She was crushed.  Not even to meet the first time and bring the lingerie and stay in a hotel like a prostitute!  All the ladies immediately hated Americans.  This man took a young woman's heart and broke it to pieces. 

Was this mans name Pike ? or Ambach ?

[ScottinCrimea]

I can't believe what a con job Pike has pulled on people here.  It seems he has everyone believing that when he meets these women they are fully aware that he is not looking for a wife, that there are no false perceptions or expectations, and that because women enjoy casual sex just as much as men do, these women are just looking for a recreational roll in the hay.  Of course we only have his words as evidence, but one thing he discussed suggests that there are insinuations of a possible future together that he uses to lure these women.  He mentioned that he lures them to his apartment with the idea that they come look at his photo album.  Then he proceeds to show them pictures of his house and other material possessions.  Now why would he do this if not to suggest that if she goes along this might all be his?  Does anyone honestly think he is doing this as foreplay for a casual sexual encounter?  He has found ways to identify middle aged women who are searching for a better life for whatever reason and ways to feed this hope for the sole purpose of getting them in the sack.  If he can't perform, he chocks it up to the woman not being attractive enough or it just being a "friendly" relationship.  The idea that he goes primarily for business and meeting women is simply something he does on the side also doesn't fit with the facts as he has presented him.  I recall one particular trip where he went into detail about his time spent in Ukraine.  he didn't even have time to change the sheets in between encounters, let alone conduct any business.  He freely admits that he goes there to bed women that he could never hope to anywhere else.  He sees it as getting higher quantities and better quality than would be possible for him in the US.  If all he is seeking is a good time with the highest number of women possible, then I guess he could consider himself a success.  Not exactly the kind of success or reputation I personally would want or the legacy I would want to leave behind.

I find no class in any man who feels he needs to brag about his conquests to prove he is a man and who denigrates anyone who questions this lack of gentlemanly behavior as being pussywhipped or so lacking in experience that they speak solely out of jealousy.  He has no clue about the experience of those who object here because he has no clue that their failure to discuss it is not due to lack of experience but to the quality of their character.

[William3rd]

but but but. . . scott, you just dont understand the tremendous insights that he brings to these boards. I think that he should be considered for a Pulitzer for his outstanding insights. . .  into conning women into sex.

and besides, just cause he hunts different women on every trip doesnt mean he is a sex tourist. after all, he eats at restaurants; maybe he is thinking of doing restaurant reviews. Doesnt that make Pike Albert a different breed of dog?

[2tallbill]

It did not appear to me that we would make good lifetime mates. May be I am overly cautious.
Also Ukraine is overrun by WM, it is an industry there, I don't know if Russia is any different, but I would like to find out.

Ambach, get's engaged with people he barely knows. He wonders if it would be different somewhere else.