Adultery & Divorce - Do Russian Women ever get deported?

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

What kind of women would ask for these things?

But everything's a one way street with her. Is this how all ex's are?

 

The good word to remember to discribe the actions and requests of a GCG is audacity

I am serious when I say this, she may ask you to move out so she can live in your house undisturbed. Get this my Russian ex-wife asked for power of attorney over my business right after she told me that sex was to be no more than twice a week, one position only (missionary) and only if I finished fast. She also requested a fully funded checking account and credit card. Before this she had ask for a new car and a $350,000 ($800,000 in California) house all the while we were sleeping in separate rooms. They have allot of nerve. Let nothing surprise you.

Maxx

 

[c5driver]

The good word to remember to discribe the actions and requests of a GCG is audacity

I am serious when I say this, she may ask you to move out so she can live in your house undisturbed. Get this my Russian ex-wife asked for power of attorney over my business right after she told me that sex was to be no more than twice a week, one position only (missionary) and only if I finished fast. She also requested a fully funded checking account and credit card. Before this she had ask for a new car and a $350,000 ($800,000 in California) house all the while we were sleeping in separate rooms. They have allot of nerve. Let nothing surprise you.

Maxx

 

Audacity is a really good description of someone that would accept an offer for you to help them with a green card by demanding that you buy them a new bed and allow them to sleep with their boyfriend. Lots of nerve indeed.

Sometimes when I'm on the phone with her I think I'm talking with Satan (when he acts nice and tries to trick people into doing what he wants). Like talking to a con artist. I always know that she only calls because she needs something.

This made me feel better because it helped dispel the false image that she was someone that could make a decent wife (or that the marriage could have lasted).

Unfortunately tommorrow I might forget all this as I tend to remember the good things I did, forget her negative traits, and dwell on the mistakes that I made in the relationship (though I tried really hard to make it work, no one is perfect). I'd feel better if I'd been perfect and she still cheated.

[catzenmouse]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Sometimes when I'm on the phone with her I think I'm talking with Satan (when he acts nice and tries to trick people into doing what he wants). Like talking to a con artist. I always know that she only calls because she needs something.

This made me feel better because it helped dispel the false image that she was someone that could make a decent wife (or that the marriage could have lasted).

Unfortunately tommorrow I might forget all this as I tend to remember the good things I did, forget her negative traits, and dwell on the mistakes that I made in the relationship (though I tried really hard to make it work, no one is perfect). I'd feel better if I'd been perfect and she still cheated.

Remember: Satans biggest coup was to make people believe he doesn't exist...

As for forgetting this stuff tomorrow: When you think of her take a crow bar or the claw end of a claw hammer and jam it into your guts and twist it for awhile. It will be easier and less costly in the long run than entertaining thoughts of her being a good person again.

Ken

[c5driver]

Sometimes my soon to be ex-RW suprises me.

In my heart, I still love her, which makes it terribly difficult for me.

Yesterday I left a Christmas card at her house.

She surprised me by leaving a little gift in my mailbox. Sometimes I think she is only GCG, but when I see this human/kind side of her I guess it hurts me.

She seems like a nice person inside except for the adultery and lies to hide the adultery. Big contradiction.

How could someone who seems kind do such adultery?

[Maxx]

Serious

If I left a Christmas card with mine during our divorce she would use it as evidence that I was obsessed with her and get a protection order out on me.

It doesn't matter if she has a human nice girl side to her if she is with another man. Where is her "niceness" when she does that?

Yes it is better to remain civil at all times but I would avoid any contact for all the reasons I have previously stated.

Maxx

 

 

 

 

[jb]

C5

This woman is being nice to you in hopes you will relent and help her  with the AOS process, she still needs you for the green card.   Don't be such a fool, run, don't walk, to the nearest divorce court  ASAP.

[c5driver]

jb,

I don't think she's worried about her AOS status. I think her attorney told her she could self petition under the VOWA (even though no abuse happened, then always seem to get granted). I think we both accept that she's here to stay.

Sometimes it's hard for me to see her as a person capable of adultery with my neighbor, but I guess in her head she loved him so it's OK. It' really hard with her living down the street.

c5

[KenC]

C5Driver,

Never, ever be caught alone with this woman.  Every time your heart goes "pitter patter" think about her sneaking lying azz SCREWING YOUR NEIGHBOR!:huh::hairraising::seething:

Seriously, visualize her letting him have his way with your wife.  Think about how she let him do all the sexual things you like to do with her, only now she is allowing HIM to do it now.  Then think about how many times you actually got your neighbor's "sloppy seconds" with your own wife.  Maybe that will help the "pitter patter" disappear.

KenC

[c5driver]

Thanks Ken, but visualizing them having sex would actually make me feel worse, not better. But remembering the sneaking around, lying, etc. should help.

I remember how she said she couldn't go without sex with me for 2 weeks so she did it with him. Maybe that will help me get over her.

Any women on the board with an opinion?

[MandM]

Yep, there are women on the board with LOTS of opinion, but they fear to be moderated again only for standing up for themselves!!:(

But seriously, c5, I think she is feeling sorry for you. Not nice to be on your own this time of the year and it shows that at least she is not completely heartless. As the guys say, be very careful! I think you would take her back in a heartbeat if she wanted, wouldn't you? It must be difficult to move on when she is living down the road from you. Sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants herself.

[c5driver]

Yep, there are women on the board with LOTS of opinion, but they fear to be moderated again only for standing up for themselves!!:(

But seriously, c5, I think she is feeling sorry for you. Not nice to be on your own this time of the year and it shows that at least she is not completely heartless. As the guys say, be very careful! I think you would take her back in a heartbeat if she wanted, wouldn't you? It must be difficult to move on when she is living down the road from you. Sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants herself.

Thanks for your post. Yes, it's very difficult when she's living so close to me.

As a women, do you think that what she did (Adultery with the neighbor) can ever be justified because she wasn't happy with the marriage?

Yes, sometimes she shows me that she's not completely heartless. I think it would be easier if she was completely heartless, like Maxx's ex was.

[MandM]

I don't know if adultery can be justified, but I can understand why women, who are feeling frustrated and unhappy in their marriages, have affairs. It is worse when a woman hasn't got any other family in the country, apart from her husband. He then has to replace her family and her friends for her. If they have a row she can't just pop in to see her mum or her best friend, have a cup of tea and complain about him. Sometimes sharing a problem with a close person and letting some steam out is all that's needed. When she has no such network of support, she gets angry and frustrated with her husband. And when she's feeling vulnerable, attention of another man can be very flattering and can make her feel loved, special, appreciated. Of course that doesn't justify infidelity, she should have talked to you if she was feeling unhappy. Did you used to talk about these things?

[c5driver]

 Of course that doesn't justify infidelity, she should have talked to you if she was feeling unhappy. Did you used to talk about these things?

The marriage lasted 4 months. I would periodically if she was happy or not. She always said she was happy until the last time she asked, at which time she brought up 1 issue in the marriage and said she wasn't happy and brought up an area of disagreement. I wish that I had dropped everything and listened to her more. It was one of the only clues she gave me.

A week before the adultery happened we had a disagreement over me spending time with my ex-wife's baby. My RW hated the idea of me seeing this baby. At the time, I just thought she was being spoiled/jealous/petty (it was only a baby - I wondered how she could hate this baby, but she hated this baby because it was my ex-wife's). Before we married we had agreed that we would not control each other, and I reminded her of this. We didn't yell at each other - we just diagreed. I also made this mistake of saying "my house" instead of "our house", which offended her. She admits that she's sensitive (actually she's very sensitive).

After the adultery she brought up other areas of disagreement which she never even told me about.

American women would complain a lot before a divorce. We never had any big fights - just little disagreements. So I thought the marriage wasn't in trouble.

[Maxx]

C5

Take the questionaire I sent you and look for all the before she got here Red Flags and after she got here Red Flags. Then post them like this.

 1)

2)

3)

4)

When you do this do not post embarassing personal details. Remember this is a public board. Then we including you may see a pattern and be able to better determine the kind of woman she really is. Many times it helps to get a psychological profile of a person who is troubling us.

Maxx

 

[Maxx]

C5

Take the questionaire I sent you and look for all the before she got here Red Flags and after she got here Red Flags. Then post them like this.

 1)

2)

3)

4)

When you do this do not post embarassing personal details. Remember this is a public board. Then we including you may see a pattern and be able to better determine the kind of woman she really is. Many times it helps to get a psychological profile of a person who is troubling us.

Maxx

 

[c5driver]

C5

Take the questionaire I sent you and look for all the before she got here Red Flags and after she got here Red Flags. Then post them like this.

 1)

2)
 

1) Abusive father and boyfriends

2) Some Russian/Ukrainian men were abusive to her

3) After she came to America she changed her email from first name/married last name to "sexymarina2006"

4) Wanted to break of engagement 2 times before we married when she became upset over trial issues.

[Maxx]

Hey C5 I don't have much time tonight but I will try and find ways to add to this list. You should mention about her reaction about when she told you about her scamming aunt. Was she embarrassed? apologetic? find it amusing? It's little details this that sometimes gives clues to a person's character and psychological profile. I know this is important because it was this that helped me get over my ex-wife. Believe it or not I still loved even after she did the false charges on me. It was only until I understood her psychological makeup that I understood I was loving a person that did not exist. In other words my fantasy. Then I stopped making excuses for why she did what she did.

Maxx       

[c5driver]

Maxx       

Maxx,

She felt sorry for her aunts husband - she said he was a kind man.

C5

[Maxx]

C5, I suggest you go to this site and read about the various personality disorders particularly about narcissism in women. You should also read about men who allow themselves to be abused and taken advantage of. Please report back on what you learned and how it applys to your situation with various examples. It should help. 

http://www.drirene.com/abuserpages.htm

Maxx


 

[Maxx]

Here is a page that is particullary useful to your situation. I should rewrite this with the breakup with a FSU wife in mind. Lots of good advice for me as well.

 http://www.drirene.com/still_love_abuser.htm

 

Maxx 

[Rando]

What happened??? Is there an end to this sage?

[c5driver]

What happened??? Is there an end to this sage?

My RW is still living with my Neigbor down the street. Very sad for me. I was not the perfect husband, but I didn't deserve this. Her lawyers will probably try to use the DV card to self-petition to stay her (even though nothing happened between us). I care about and  don't mind if she stays in the country - it just would be easier if she didn't live down the street.

[Bruno]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

I was not the perfect husband

Nobody is perfect... perfect husband ( of wife ) exist only in faery tale... not in real world... She hurt you, she use you... and you are always in love, you feel yourself guilty, you search excuse for her... don't allow her to destroy your live with false DV accusation... With the new law, if she accuse you of DV, it will be very difficult for you to find a other foreign woman ( refert to other topic )... only local women will be a possible choice...

[c5driver]

I was not the perfect husband

Nobody is perfect... perfect husband ( of wife ) exist only in faery tale... not in real world... She hurt you, she use you... and you are always in love, you feel yourself guilty, you search excuse for her... don't allow her to destroy your live with false DV accusation... With the new law, if she accuse you of DV, it will be very difficult for you to find a other foreign woman ( refert to other topic )... only local women will be a possible choice...[/quote]
We've not lived together for 6 months - I don't see how she'd get a DV conviction or restraining order, so I'm not really worried.

Unfortunately I didn't understand how easily RW are offended/hurt. My ex-wife had a new baby that I wanted to play with, and I didn't understand why my RW was so hurt by this (other things I did offended her too, but she didn't say much).

[Maxx]

 With the new law, if she accuse you of DV, it will be very difficult for you to find a other foreign woman ( refert to other topic )... only local women will be a possible choice...

What new law? The law I heard about that has been up for vote over 3 years now is about notification by the agencies if the male client has a criminal record. I haven't heard about any new law in regard to the INS refusing another fiancee/spousal petition for a US citizen if the US citizen has been accused of abuse. BTW everyone at the INS except maybe the people who clean the place know that these women file abuse petitions without merit. It's a well known legal scam. Have you heard Bruno of a law specifically limiting petitions for men accused of abuse? I know it would seem like it would make sense but the INS doesn't make sense in much of what it does.

Maxx