Hello all,
I've been a "lurker" for a while and decided only now to post my introduction.
I'm from an EU country, am with a girl from Ukraine which I met through an online dating site (Russianeuro.com) since August 2008.
I then read up on Ukraine and this whole affair of a potential FSU girlfriend and was partly put-off by all the horror stories floating around the net, but being a person that has travelled the world and my sense of adventure, I decided to try it and haven't regretted it since.
I'm sure my process of detecting for a scammer/non-scammer isn't unique, so I won't go into details, but will say that you should use common sense and even IF there should be some red flags, they are not a guarantee that you are dealing with a scammer.
I've been 3 times to Ukraine (2x Kiev 1 x Lugansk) in the last 4 months and thought I'd like to share some of my thoughts&considerations for those that are contemplating a trip there.
Especially to disspell some 'myths' about Ukraine that seem to crop up from time to time.
-When you get off the plane and are making your way to the customs, it will be beneficiary, for you to walk QUICKLY and try to avoid the long cue. If you're coming from USA, I'm sure it will be a long trip and you'll be tired and don't want to spend an hour more just standing in a cue.
For this purpose I recommend that you get off the plane, position yourself at the opening of the bus (the bus that drives you to airport entrance/customs) so that when the bus stops again, you're the first person to exit and thus move quickly. I doubt you will be first in line as you will probably wonder where to go and what to do, but with luck you will be at least in the middle of the cue and not at the end, (which I've tried twice now)
-Coming from EU, I never had a problem with customs, it took them 1 minute to stamp my passport and never was I stopped to check luggage or harassed. This included my entry and exit.
One time I was in cue for entry and I heard an American man was having a little difficulty with customs, I overheard him say:
"I am visiting my girlfriend" and then customs asked him something and he responded with "No, I don't have her address."
It seemed they didn't like to hear this too much and he was pulled to the side to go into an office with some authorities.
I thought to myself, "what an idiot, visiting his girlfriend and doesn't even have her address".
So my advice here if you're going to visit someone, KNOW their address and phone numbers.
You also have to fill out an "immigration card" which is a small A5 sized photocopied paper where you have to fill out where you are staying for your duration. This is given to you in the plane and if you missed it, there are some available at a little stand (in Kiev) at the customs cue.
From home, make yourself a paper with small translations, such as:
"I am going on holiday", "I have nothing to declare" e.t.c
for if you're asked questions, you can refer to the paper.
Don't expect the customs to always understand English.
In my 3 times so far to Ukraine, I wouldn't classify the customs as either friendly or unfriendly, they're just people working the whole day and are more or less neutral. Show them leniency and try not to be impatient.
On my first trip there, at Kiev customs, I was standing behind a guy who's turn it was to hand in his passport (which was red in colour) and the customs girl went absolutely berserk and screamed& shouted at him, her arms waving as madly as her mouth was flapping.
I though to myself,
"This bull doesn't like the colour red" and wondered if I had made sure to fill out my immigration card perfectly, so I could avoid such a tantrum. I don't know what the deal was about, but for me personally, I've never had any trouble at all.
-Walking in the streets passing policemen. I've read a few stories about bribing and being foreign that you'll be stopped and harassed.
I can't tell you how many times I've walked past police officers and not once was I stopped or harassed. I enjoyed the notion that there were so many police people on the street, it made me feel safer although there was nothing to fear.
-Streets in Kiev are quiet, unlike loud EU countries, where people often talk loudly or are having a merry time. People seem more focused on where they're headed.
-Taking the metro is an interresting experience and with a few tours, you'll be comfortable taking the metro. Expect to stand up during busy hours/busy stations.
I recommend downloading a full map of the metro with all the station names in Cyrillic alphabet and in normal western lettering.
There are plaques at all stations, so you can find which line/direction to take.
-Buy one of those silly "stupid tourist" style guide books with city maps. They're invaluable.
-Be creative about how to find places. I had my phone with me, which I used the internet on, through a GPRS connection to quickly search for addresses/translations/info whilst I was on the move.
(Yes this is frightfully expensive, but its good to know it was there when needed)
-The best Russian sentence you can learn is:
"Ja ne punimayo Barooski" which means "I don't understand Russian"
Most often, you won't even have time to finish the sentence before people understand that you're not Ukrainian/Russian.
However, an interesting note, is that even if people know you're not native, they will still carry on blabbering at full-speed in Russian and sometimes no matter how often you tell them you don't understand, they carry on blabbering. As if they don't use their hands to make gestures.
-Taking the buses isn't usually a problem, just know to take the right one.
I had one unfortunate experience (of all 50 times or so).
I had taken the wrong bus and it was driving outside Kiev, when I realised my mistake, I stayed on the bus as it will eventually return to where it came from and I could then get off at my initial bus-stop.
However, ˝ way through the journey, the bus driver stopped and started asking for money from all passengers. Since I had already paid once (about 0,5USD - dirt cheap) I tried to explain that I had already paid and also used the "I don't understand Russian" sentence.
This was obviously a kind of "invitation" for him and other passengers to get VERY upset and start shouting and physically prodding me. At this, I should just have forked over the silly 0,5USD, but my stubbornness and sense of justice, I thought even if they kill me, they won't get their damn 50cents!
(I'm not cheap or stingy, I pay gladly more than the going price oftentimes as its so cheap anyway, but this situation triggered my sense of justice)
Then an elderly lady said something in Russian to which, in my irritation I just said loudly "DA!" (Yes) and by some miracle, she had asked if I had already paid.
Then the bus driver and everyone around me understood that I had paid already and people relaxed and it was business-as-usual as if nothing at all had happened.
Only Italy with their temperament mentality reminded me of this.
It was an interesting situation, but I must say, that it was awkward not being fluent in Russian or even knowing how to explain properly was a big hindrance.
Later that day, I was forced to pay a taxi driver twice the normal going rate just to get home to my girlfriends apartment, of which I thought,
"This is typical me, to hold on to dear life for 0,5USD and then freely spend 50USD on a taxi scam"
(But it was evening, dark outside, being somewhere I didn't know at all, so I was compelled to take a taxi)
-Don't be cheap. Most things in transport cost almost nothing. Just pay what they ask and you'll be fine. Public toilets on the main street of Kiev cost about 2UAH to use, just give them 2UAH and no more, because if you try to give say 5UAH, they don't understand that you want to be kind and give them something extra.
-Taking taxis: Agree on a price BEFORE you get in the taxi. Be expected to pay more than the rate, because they see an opportunity to get something extra. If it costs 20USD extra, so what, just pay and you'll have a taxi driver that is very-service minded.
One trip I had, nearing the end of the journey, the taxi driver asked for 100UAH extra and I pretended to be a real idiot and not understand what he was saying, and when he persisted, I distracted him by asking for his phone number, as "you're a good man, I will need your services later" to which the taxi driver quit trying to get the extra 100UAH thinking he would drive me on other days and could get a good deal out of me. Of course I never called him or used him again. (I don't like being "cheated")
But it seems a good technique which I learned "on the fly".
-Not everyone in Ukraine is bent on trying to get money from you. You will discover that 99% of people are honest. Don't be distracted from "horror stories" from the internet. They are probably just a 0,001% occurrence that can happen in any other European city.
-Yes, its true, not many people smile or seem "happy". Especially to Americans this will be evident. They are just "neutral" and don't see a reason to smile for the sake of smiling. More often than not, you will get people to smile back if you're friendly and smile to them.
When they speak, the dialect, language e.t.c can perhaps sometimes be seen as if they are irritated, but they're not, its just their expression/way of being.
-Especially for Americans. Please try not to be loud and "demanding" in your attitude. (Sorry for generalising - just something I noticed in my travels)
Just be patient and considerate, relaxed and you'll have a great time.
-During winter time, don't expect the sidewalks to be free of ice. Most places, you'll be in a balancing act, walking on a few cm's of ice, trying not to fall.
It seems the country doesn't use salt, but just scrape and oddly enough, brush with a broom the ice (which makes it even more slippery)
The main street will be free of ice, most other places, not.
I have more to say, but I think my introductory post is long enough.
Any questions please ask.
As for my girl, we're working on how to get her to my country, but this seems a daunting task and a lot of work. I've just started, so don't know the process.
One last thing, if you find yourself a girl from FSU, yes, be prepared that it costs a fortune. I have no regrets, or even think of the money at all compared to what a wonderful person I've met.
But just so you're a little prepared, your private economy will take a dive like its never taken a dive before.
But its worth it! If you meet the right person for you, she'll be worth more to you than all the riches of the world. Money will come again, but the person you meet may not, so please don't lose the relationship because of the money involved.
Since all girls are different, it won't help anyone for me to describe my girlfriend, but there seems to be some "common" traits found in the people that could be interesting. But another time for that....
Have a good weekend!
