She did it! She Got the Visa!!!

Thanks guys she is the best and BTW it is I who needs the rest, she is a dynamo!!!

I could not be luckier!

Don't worry I know it cannot all be blue skies and sunshine, so I will post our tiffs as well. Although I hope that they will be few and far in between.

Doug

[jb]

Doug,

Many of those tiffs can be avoided if you stay attentive to her needs, and attuned to her moods.

When you are out and about, watch for the telltale look of bewilderment on her face when she encounters something she doesn't understand.  If you do your job properly you'll pick up on these moments, give her a basic, but completely understandable explanation, and move on.  

You must screen those individuals she meets, keep her away from negative influences, that most certainly includes any friends you might have who are in shakey marriages themselves, and don't forget the other RWs she might meet in your town, they are often the worst possible negative influence of all.  Homesickness will be your greatest enemy for the moment, make sure she has a paid up calling card at all times and feels free to pick up the phone at any time.

Your own outward behavior will be what she takes her cue from, if you act angry, nervious, or otherwise unsure, she will likewise react negatively.  Not only to the situation, but to you as well.  You must remember at all times, you are her anchor, your actions and attidudes will set the tone for her adaptation period.

If you can sustain your patience over time, a year from now you will have a happy and well adjusted female you can be proud of.  Lose your cool, and you'll pay a terrible price. The good news is you seem to have good material to work with.  Once again, may you have good luck and much love.

[catzenmouse]

Excellent news Doug!

After the initial excitement wears off a bit she will really need you to be there for her so just keep your perspective on things and have a lot of patience. For the next few weeks, months, etc. you will be everything for her. Her whole world has just taken a giant twist into the unknown. Best of luck and keep us up on how it's going.

Ken

[KenC]

Doudis,

Good advice from jb & Ken.  I just also wanted to mention what I thought the biggest problem was: social isolation.  Russians usually have a lifestyle that is jammed packed with interactions with many people during the day.  Their family, flat neighbors, friends on the public streets and transportation as well as their co-workers.  It is a drastic change to our rather isolated American ways.  (We seem to strive for privacy over an interactive lifestyle)  The best remedy for this is to keep as busy a schedule as possible.  If she is busy, she will have little time to be homesick.  Best of luck to you both.

KenC

 

[jb]

Thanks, KenC

But it looks to me as though Doug has plucked a jewel from the Russian crown and made it his own.  He only needs to take care of her now.  From the discription of the reception she recieved, I think he's well on the correct path.

I agree, this is excellent advice from everyone.

Today I want to start by giving here a tour of the neighborhood and taking her grocery shopping. Time to start filling the house with her preferred eats. Although I did buy a lot of stuff I knew she liked prior to her arrival.

Tomorrow after today's tour maybe she will be more confident to go out and do some exploring on her own I think. Maybe she will bring Buddy (our Boxer) for company/protection. Her add he hit it off right away. I'm not sure which one of us she loves more:). Not that is is much protection, he is a big softie, but he has a look that would make anyone think twice.

Then tomorrow night I plan on taking her to a haunted house. Then on Friday our first guest will come over, Mom. My mom is the perfect mom-in-law totally not stickin the nosein the private business unless invited kinda lady. I'm positive they will get along famously. So we will party this night then maybe they might go shopping on Sat and maybe another haunted house in the evening. On and on it goes. I got a lot of plans and I expect we will be very busy. I only wish I did not have to work:(.

Ok guy again thanks for the advice, I'm sure I will be back for more in the nearest time.

Speaking of advice, did anyone get the SS# here in the Phoenix area? How long should I wait before we go down there?

Thank You,

Doug

 

 

[Voyageur]

Doug, I waited three business days. My wife was not in the system yet, but we received her card about two weeks later.

[jb]

Doug,

One small hint,,, if you don't know how to prepare "smoked fish",,, learn how it's done.  If you don't presently own a smoker, buy one.  One of the things my wife most missed from home was "smoked fish".  She makes "salty fish" in the fridge from time to time, but it isn't quite the same.

Russians basically live on fish, it's a staple of their diet like we live on beef.  You can buy filet of salmon at the grocery store and smoke it at home, just sprinkle liberally with crushed peppercorns, onion powder, a little garlic, and a little lemon juice.  Cook it slowly over a charcoal and wood chip fire, (makes lots of smoke) for about 3 - 4 hours.  She will eat it like candy if she's like most Russians I know.

Ok I think I will just wait until next week sometime before we go for the SS card. No real hurry anyway in our situation, I just want to get her ID and stuff started.

JB I totally agree about the fish. I know Marina loves this I was already trying to figure out what we can do about it. I personally enjoyed the smoked fish when I was in Russia, but they also love the "fish jerky" for lack of a better term. As for that stuff the taste was not a problem, but the stuff about destroyed my teeth! Nope I'll stick to the Smoked fish. But I'm not the one we are talking about here.

Marina already told me she had a dream about some foods half of it was in my fridge already, but some others I know will not be so easy to come by. The smoked fish was one and the black bread was another. We do have a small Russian store about a 45min to 1hr drive from here maybe they will have all things she needs. The good thing is it is only about 2 mi from moms so she will be able to pick stuff up for us now and then on her way over.

Well anyway I am going to print out your recipe and give it a try. Since we are headed to the store soon I might as well pick up the ingredients now. I will let you know how it turns out. It seems to me the smoked fish we had was a little bit oily, do you add any oils at all?

Thank you,

Doug

[jb]

Nope, I don't add any oils to mine.  It doesn't seem to matter, the Russians in my house like it the way I cook it.  I bought a "Smoky Mountain Series" smoker from a local hardware store, it stands about 4.5 ft tall, with the fire on the bottom and the fish on the top shelf, it does a good job.

Black bread is pretty easy to make, there are several good recipes around.  Especially from: http://www.recipesource.com/
Look in the ethnic Russian section.

Oh yeah! That link will come in real handy! Thanks. Now I just need a smoker. Currently I just have a Webber, the charcoal type. Time get looking around I guess.

Ok I got to run, time to head home and pick up the little lady:)!

Talk to you all later,

Doug

[catzenmouse]

[user=336]doudis2[/user] wrote:

Ok I think I will just wait until next week sometime before we go for the SS card. No real hurry anyway in our situation, I just want to get her ID and stuff started.

 

Doug,

 If Marina is planning on attending school anytime in the near future it would be good to start to get her in-state residency status started. Out of state tuitions are often quadruple the in-state tuitions.

 We got Elena's SSN as soon as we could and got her on the bank account and electric bill so that we can have a paper trail with dates.

 Just a thought,

 Ken

Very good idea Ken. I plan to go to the SS office next week. As soon as I get this done I can get her  a state Id until she is ready to go for the D.L. She got her D.L. in Russia a few months ago but I'm sure she will need soem time to learn our rule book before she attemps the written test. Hell I had trouble with the darn thing!

So many things to do to turn my kraseevia Russki into my beautiful American Bride, but it is more than worth it:)!

Doug