So, you want to marry a younger Russian woman.

[Jack]

Hey guys, haven't posted much lately, haven't been around much lately. Just spent most of September and October in Ukraine as part of our fall group tour and as soon as I got back to the states a few days ago I am now needing to make arrangements for our first ever winter group tour, "Christmas/New Years in Kiev". In the next few weeks I should be able to make some time to post more about some of the things I was able to witness and be a part of over the last few months. Some aspects with the pursuit for a Russian bride are changing, and some parts of the pursuit will never change.
 
I want to discuss something of a more personal nature at this time. Some of my closest friends know about this, some of my friends here from the RWD know of my situation and I think now is as good a time as any to share with the rest of you.
 
If you guys seeking a Russian bride want a younger woman, you'll be able to find her. Ukraine and Russia are the closest thing I have found to the fountain of youth. A young woman keeps us men young. But if you seek and get a young woman you need to consider many aspects. Will you be sexually active enough 10 years from now, will you be able to go out dancing or to clubs a couple times a month? Are you prepared to make new friends and lose some of your long time friends? Although many of my long time male friends still care for me, after bringing my young Russian wife to their homes for the first time the wife's of my long time friends do not want to invite Jack with his young Russian wife to any future Super Bowl or Christmas parties. You WILL have to change your lifestyle if you marry a young Russian woman. I have found this change exciting and something my life needed. And children, any of you who meet and get interest in a Russian woman from 21 to 32 and she does not have children, she WILL want a child! If you meet and get interest with a Russian woman who has a child then chances are she will be contempt to go through life with that one child if you do not want any.
 
In 1999 when I was 45 I met a wonderful Ukraine woman of 25 that I felt was very special. By this time I had been involved in my own pursuit for a Russian bride for five years and had meet a lot of Russian/Ukraine ladies. I was looking for someone special and found that someone special in my Natalia. It was not until after we were married that Natalia mentioned children at which time I told her not until after two years of marriage, after we know we have a good and solid marriage, then we can talk about children. And Natalia accepted that with no problem and I was at the time open to the idea of more children.
 
Having seen and having knowledge of many American/Russian marriages, I have seen most of these marriages in which their were a few 'bumps in the road". So I was waiting for my bumps. Year one, no bump, two years no bump, three years no bump. After five years of marriage, still no major bumps in the road. Sometime after our second anniversary Natalia asked about children and I at the time wasn't quite sure, so put her off at the time. The subject would come up again on occasion a few times over the past few years. I have learned over the years that once a Russian woman got to the age of about 30, 31 and she did not have a child that it had slowly began to  enter into her mind that maybe she would not have children. At 28, 29, this thought does not really begin to enter into their mind so much. Once she get's to 30, it does. Over the last two years I had come to the conclusion that I really did not want to have anymore children. Natalia was not asking about them so much and I was thinking once she got to 30 or 31, maybe she would decide she did not want children. 
 
I could see having a child, having her own family was important to Natalia. I have three wonderful children and two grandchildren. My youngest child, Rachel, just turned 20 and is her second year in a local college. My youngest son is now in his senior year at SMU. My oldest son has blessed me with two grandsons. Raising children is a 20 year commitment and I have been raising children for 32 of my 51 years.
 
This past May during our spring group tour to Ukraine and Russia my Natalia visited her family and friends in Odessa as she did often during our trips. During this visit my sweet mother-in-law, as I heard, was asking, pressuring her oldest daughter, Natalia, about children, about her grand-children, as she had none. So when I got back from Russia my Natalia said it was time to have children. I really did not have to think about it but told Natalia I needed time to think about this. Over the next week I re-thought my feelings and what I could do or say to Natalia to change her mind. Then I realized, "Why should I try to change her mind? Why should I deprive this woman of something she has always dreamed of". Who am I to deprive this woman of something I had, something God gave me, children, grandchildren, a family. It was very hard to do, as I knew it would hurt her, but I had to be honest and upfront with Natalia and tell her that I did not want any more children. I think she thought I was probably going to have a child with her because she knew how much I loved her, and I really do love her. I love her so much that if I am not go to give her something she has always dreamed of, a family, her own children, I would help her to achieve this goal.
 
Over the past four months my life has been in a little turmoil. Natalia gave me some time to decide, to change my mind. Well of course I did not need this time, I was not going to change my mind.  As I reach the fall of my life I could not see me raising a smartass 15 year old teenager when I was 67 years of age. You want to know what something hard is to do? Try filing for divorce for someone you really love. This is what I had to do. Over the past few months we have done quite well, Natalia and I. Natalia has gotten into a new apartment, we have got her a new car. As she is about to make new changes in her life, now was a good time to move close to the ocean, something as an Odessa girl she was always used to. She has gotten Dilliards to transfer her to one of their stores in Southern Florida. Tomorrow I will be driving Natalia in her car with U-Haul trailer to Florida. She could never do this herself she says, and she is probably right. Before our fall group tour she went shopping for new clothes with me. "Here, try this shirt, this looks good on you. I want you looking good for the new ladies you will meet Jack". This is what she told me. This is from two people who love each other. I will miss Natalia. She will be hard to replace.
 

Did I learn anything? You bet I did. Will I seek an older future Russian wife? That's hard to say. All men are different but in my case once I have experienced such a happy 6 year marriage with a young woman it might be hard for me to go back to an older Russian woman. I have had a most wonderful 6 year marriage. Give me another happy 6 years with a wonderful Russian woman and I'll take it. But what I did learn, and will tell all Russian ladies who interest me in the future, I will not want to have any more children.
 

I wanted to share this information with you guys in hopes it might help someone. I have a fair amount of experience with Russian women, both from my own experience over the last eleven years and from what I have seen every day over the last eight years in helping with, dealing with clients. Men, if you do seek a much younger woman, think about the future. Think about all aspects of life and things that you might encounter with a younger woman.

[jb]

Geesh, Jack, that had to be hard to write.

But I think the lesson to be learned by all men seeking the "much younger" woman is valuable.

I wish I could have said it as eloquently as you did.

[RacerX]

Jack ~ I'm glad you had the opportunity to tell your side of this story because, as you may know, there are various other versions floating around on the boards.

It was once suggested to me that an alternative is to marry a RW in her late 30s that already has a teenaged kid with the thought the child's day-to-day welfare would be in someone else's hands by the time you invested much time in the marriage.  These women are usually still quite attractive and there seems to be many of them.

In any event, good luck and thanks for sharing this personal piece of your life.

[anono]

i know jack and i think he includes me in the close friend category. i have listened to jack for about three years now and i never stop seeking his advice. this man is one of the most knowledgable men about russian and ukrainian women in the business.

of course everyone has their own methods and ideas but i try and talk to jack before i take off on my own and try to do things my way. i have yet to ever get bad advice from jack.

i know the above had to be hard to write but it is pure jack. i am not surprised.

now i'm going to be in competition with him ;-)  ..good thing there are thousands of ladies to go around.

[Voyageur]

I have been on one of Jack's tours and he has helped me very much, and I consider him as a friend. Although I am now happily married and will not be in any of his future tours, I still value him as a friend and person. Although I did not meet my wife through him, I gained much valuable experience there (I really knew what I was looking for, and knew what was important to me, and what to look for in a FSU woman) and his contacts helped me when I was visiting my wife in Russia. Jack's word is his bond, without any doubts.

Jack, sincerely I hope that you are lucky in your future life.

[Leslie]

Jack,

I am glad that you decided to make this public announcement on your marriage.  I already expected this from the hearsay and gossip. 

Natasha and I are both sorry this has happened and wish both of you the best of luck with your future lives.

Kids are a deal breaking issue.  I have no doubts on that.  My situation was similar to yours.  I married a woman 20 years younger than me who was 30 last year.  We agreed to start a family and as you know we now have a baby daughter.

I had no children from my previous marriage so I wanted children and was prepared to accept all the problems of starting a family late in life.  My main concern was the stability of our marriage before we began.....

For a marriage to last you have to share a vision of the future.  For the vast majority of younger FSU women that future will include a family. Period.  Immigrants have a difficult time establishing fulfilling careers.  Most will have to settle for a lower status job than would be possible back home.  As you correctly surmise many young women will not express strong desires to start a family in their twenties.  However as the big three zero approaches this will change. 

My advice to any guy who is considering marriage to a young, childless FSU woman is very simple.  Are you prepared to start a family late in life?  If not then I think you are setting an expiry date for your marriage.  Your younger wife has life ambitions.  Promises about not wanting kids at 22 will be revised later.  Peoples needs and desires evolve as they age.  All this is perfectly natural. 

 

[KenC]

Jack,

You already know that my heart goes out to you.  Thank you for sharing such a personal matter with this forum.  It will help many in their decision making process.

KenC

[TigerPaws]

Jack,

 Good luck in the future and thank you for shareing what had to and still has to be a difficult time for you on many levels.

 Like you and may others I chose a younger wife except I knew full well that we would be having a child within a few years, which would be (and our daughter is) my third child. Ok I knew that going in and I was ready for the commitment but many men do not consider the long term aspects of having a much younger wife (10 or more years) and the very real possibility of children is a big one.

 A man's health, finical situation, age, family and sexual issues (ok we have drugs to help with that) all need to go into the decision to seek out a younger woman. Unfortunately far too many men do not consider all of the possible consenquences of their decisions and this can lead to problems after a few years. That is not to say that seeking out a younger woman is wrong, just that it is the man's responsibility to think out as many of the possible issues before hand.

 Again good luck in the future Jack. 

 

[Wayne]

Jack, I am so sorry what happened for you.

 

With Oksana, I have thought about the future.  Actually, I like children very much and have a Son 26 years old, and two  Daughters 24 and 21 from a previous marriage of 17 years.  I would not mind having another child, when Oksana and I are married--however, she cannot have any more children because of a medical condition.  Her Daughter, Yana, is 14 years old.  So I will take responsibilty of helping to raise her.  Oksana wants to work and to save money for a college education for Yana.  Certainly, this is fine with me.

Oksana is 33 years old.  She works as a Hairdresser and likes this work.  She had gotten married at 18 years old, and did not have a chance for a college education for herself.  She wants a better life for Yana.  Her first Husband did not help raise Yana.  He does not pay support. 

 

[andrewfi]

Sorry to hear your news, and sorry for your wife. Without knowing anything other than that which you have written it seems a decent choice. I know something of breaking up when both are in love, but with lives going in differnt directions, it seems to me to be easier, much easier when love turns to hate, or indifference.

I am sure that you will ensure that your wife finds  her feet, it sounds like she has already achieved a lot.

I wonder how many guys marry young girls with the foreknowledge that the marriage is term limited. Would you have married Natalia had you known the relationship had a 'best before' date? Would you again? In my heart of hearts, I think many guys know that large age or economic difference relationships are temporary and we do not hear from them very often, they just get on with life. Maybe we should consider, as  I tend to, that these relationships are good, sometimes great, but, in the end, not permanent. If you were to look at these relationships as three to five year hitches, I bet you could have fun until the end of your days, or your wish to continue...

[RacerX]

Andrewfin ~ I had a very insightful RW, whom I have relied on for advice for many years, tell me that all of her marriages were ones of 'evolution.'  Eventually she (never seemed to be 'he') simply "evolved" into something greater than when she entered into the marriage 4-7 years earlier.  With the propensity of RW to marry at an earlier age than their AW cousins, such scenarios are plausible and almost logical.  

Interesting for me that she never regretted any of her prior marriages, feeling they were quite fulfilling both for her and her RM/AM partners.  As she begins her quest for her fourth husband (she is 42), she has no regrets about her past relationships and can accept the fact the this new one will undoubtedly be 'term-limited.'

[Bruno]

What have these topic to make with younger woman or russian woman...

All woman, without children, begin feel the work of the biologic clock around mid 30's... it is the last perfect time for have child... and having child is something that almost each woman will soon or late...

I think that the topic need to be called : "After so much year married, i finally know that i don't wish child"... Jack was so much time unsure about this and only now, he know it... first, he have wait the delay of 2 year for be sure of the wife... but it was not enough... waiting, waiting... from the begin, his wife was wishing child... and what now? A divorce... and a woman alone, who was waiting someone who can be the father of his own child... who is become more older, who slowly reach his age limit for the first conception without problem ( who are fixed at 35 yo in case of first child )

Everybody say : "poor Jack"... me, i say poor RW... after so much year loose because the young Jack was not sure when he have marry, he was not knowing his own expectations over long term marriage and child... yes, now he know it... he is finaly mature...

The lesson of this story is not about younger Russian woman but about yourself who are ready to marry someone... have you speak with your partner over all is possible... children, study, retirement, work...

It can seem crazy, but same my own dead was planned for my first marriage... in so case, his widow income was double... we have speak over child and wish other but only when Nastia will be around 10 yo... To much people think that a relation is only about love and sex but it is really more complexe... several parameter are in the game...

I don't rant Jack for what have happen in his couple... he was unsure and not ready... he make now the maximum he can for help her ( maybe he can try invent the time machine )... but the best, he know now that he don't wish children anymore...

But i rant him for the title... in these case, the word "younger" mean nothing... this can happen with woman more old, around 35 yo... and if you forget, a woman can have child until the menopose ( around 45 yo )... by woman, it seem that the biologic clock stop at 45 yo... this lead to 66 year, the age of retirement, when child become adult ( 21 yo )...

So, before the marriage, never forget to speak over the issue of children... for myself, i wish children and wish marry a woman without... but i have already planned that if i don't find a woman before my 40 yo, i go begin search a woman already with child... and at 50, i stop because this mean a woman with a child around 10 yo... this can lead to problem in the future education of children his future life due to the new language and educational system... on other forum, some have say that i was crazy to think like this... but like Jack, i have my own limit and i know them already...

In these story, Jack suffert because he always love his wife and give her his freedom for realize his family dream... his wife suffert because she love Jack and have loose so much year for a not realized dream... Jack have used the method of the bad worker, who report each day, the needed work tomorrow...

AGAIN, GUYS, TAKE YOUR RESPONSABILITY BEFORE THE MARRIAGE...

PS : Sorry Jack, i have not wish reply to these topic, your story have shock me... but the reply shock me more, everybody think to the poor Jack... only one have think about the poor Miss Jack... and it was yourself... and this only after so much year... i feel this like a egoistic relation and only now, you have understand what is a real relation... it is give the max to your partner... not receive... only now, you really love her... and you prove it by giving her his freedom, the chance to realise her dream...

[KenC]

To be honest any marriage is in a constant state of evolution.  I married my first wife at 21 and she was 19.  21 years later, we were very different people than we were at the start.  You never know which way the relationship will go over a long period of time.  Will you continue to have the same interests?  Will you still be attracted to each other?  Will kids pull you together or make you more distant?  All you really can tell (If you know each other well!) is if you are compatable at the time.  I guess marriage is a journey and not a destination.  How long the two people will remain compatable along that journey is anyone's guess.

KenC

[Bruno]

You never know which way the relationship will go over a long period of time.  Will you continue to have the same interests?  Will you still be attracted to each other?  Will kids pull you together or make you more distant?  All you really can tell (If you know each other well!) is if you are compatable at the time.  I guess marriage is a journey and not a destination.  How long the two people will remain compatable along that journey is anyone's guess.

Good post Ken...

But the journey can last very  long... some people thing that when they marry, the work on the relationship stop... they weak-up several year after with a full stranger on her side... relationship is a work on each day... several couple, with the time, don't have anymore sex relation, don't give gift ( flower ), don't make surprise... the life together become like a meal without taste and the shadow of divorce is coming upon them... by working together, a marriage can become a never-ending journey... divorce are usually the sign from a miss of communication... you have not more a partner but a stranger... divorce is only a sign of some misluck... divorce in itself is not a big problem, it is only two people who choose a other way... and until they can make it in a civilized form, all is right for the two... or more in case of child...

 

[Rvrwind]

Really sorry to hear about this Jack but it does explain alot.

It is awful big of you to take the high road & I know it would be much easier to walk away from someone you know longer love but to still be in love & have to part due to circumstances must be really tough.

I wish you both the best & hope that you will succeed at whatever your chosen paths lead you to.

RVR - Canadian Cowboy/Agency Owner

[Maxx]

Sorry to hear this Jack. Divorce to a beautiful woman whom you love takes allot of one.

Jack your greatest difficulty in finding a new wife will not be about sorting out those that want children but finding one who will be patient as Natalia was about your business. Can you think of any profession that would cause more worry, concern and consternation than your's? I have seen the tour photos and wondered how you pulled it off. I mean Russian women are legendary for their jealousy. Did your business and being gone for weeks and months every year have a contributing factor to your marriage breakup? Natalia seems to understand you will move on and quickly as she is advising you on what you will wear. Again sorry to hear this.

Maxx

[Journeyman]

Jack,

Approaching 50 myself, I fully understand the issue regarding children, and I deal with it myself.  And I do feel for her, too.  It sounds like she is coping alright, with your help.  Yet, there is a larger matter about which I hope you are aware.  Something that can provide a little balance at times like this.  I think you know this already, but I just want to remind you about this because I know that, if I were you now, my thoughts (and my thinking) would be still unsettled at this time, even confused -- when undergoing the trauma of saying goodbye to someone you love.  

Something happened in my life this past week, which bears upon your future, I think.  While I'm not a religious man, I do sometimes remember a few wise words written by St. Paul.  

"Love . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I had a girlfriend in college.  It was my first (and only) real love.  After 3 years together, we decided to get engaged.  We announced our engagement, but after 8 more months found ourselves engaged in a series of terrible arguments.  It was mostly due to simply bad communication (much of it being my fault).  But, at the time, neither of us had the maturity to understand what was happening, and how to fix it.  Ultimately, we broke up.  Hard.  Badly.  And quite suddenly.  We never spoke with each other again.  No contact of any kind.  And no further knowledge about the other.  Except that I had once heard, about 20 years ago, that she had gotten married.

24 years passed since then.  Again, having no contact whatsoever.  But a number of months ago, I was doing some Google-searching.  Suddenly, I thought, "what the heck."  I'll key in what could think of, and see what happens.  Surprisingly, my efforts yielded some curious information.  A possible phone number for a possible now-married ex-fiancee.  I hesitated . . . for 6 months.  Then, a few days ago, I got up the nerve.  I remembered that you always regret in life the things that you DON'T do.  I dialed.  My heart pounded.

A possibly familiar voice answered.  We talked, and it WAS her.  I couldn't believe what was happening.  My heart pounded even more.  But soon, amazingly, we were talking and laughing together like it was not only the most natural thing in the world, but also the most desirable thing . . . for the both of us.  It was cathartic, rapturous, and just seemed "right."  We both knew it.  We have been emailing daily since, exchanging photos, and opening up to each other as though we were best friends.  In some ways, even better than when we were together, and when we were in love.

Jack, this is my point.  And, again, I know you know this already.  Even though your marriage and relationship has come to an end, true love and genuine friendship can survive, maybe taking on new forms, finding new ways, and maybe even taking on added dimensions.  Not that it is desireable to go through a divorce and the circumstances you are now enduring.  But that you can still "salvage" something important, and maybe enormously wonderful, even though, again, right now, there must be tremendous sadness.  You'll get through it, and she can too.  The emotional, and the "spiritual" connection that you have with each other won't necessarily depend entirely upon your continued togetherness.
 
"Love . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Even a bad breakup, followed by a quarter-century of total seperation and silence.  And it seems that you are doing what you can to make that possible -- being honest and showing full respect toward her.  You are digging down deep, continuing to give of yourself.  

"Love is patient, love is kind, an is not jealous; . . . (love) does not act unbecomingly, and does not seek its own . . . "

All of us will understand the sadness that you must now feel.  But there is a future out there.  And even though the both of you may now find other partners for marriage, at the right time, and in the right way, you might still discover a way that the love, the friendship, and the way in which your deepest selves once touched each other, can still make a connection, and provide for each of you a measure of what you had always treasured in the other, and about the years you shared together.

Best wishes,

Journeyman

[anono]

journey, your comments above about your long ago love is very similar to my experiences with a lady or two in my life. it says a lot about how complicated life and love are. i think i found a great lady in my yulinka, one that may rise to the level you describe here. in my TR i post about why i am taking my time. your experience and post above are good examples of relationships and love.

as yuliya said the other day as we discussed the relations a friend of mine is having with his lady; "finding love is very difficult, i am happy i found my man".

this is not easy, it is not simple. this is why my hair raises on my back when i see these "rah, rah" threads about people who become engaged in a week. i  hope they work, but most often they do not.

[MandM]

I have to agree with Bruno on this one. Let's have a look at this situation from Natalia's perspective. After stringing her along for 6 years, giving her vague promises of having a family in the future Jack has now realized he doesn't want more children after all. Why did it take him so long to make up his mind? This deal breaking issue should have been discussed much earlier in the relationship and he shouldn't have promised something that he couldn't give. Natalia is now in her thirties and who knows how long it is going to take her to meet someone she would want to have a family with?. She might be too old then and might not be able to conceive. Because of sticking with Jack for so long, she might have lost her chance of ever having a family.

I can't help but thinking there is more to this story. Another explanation is that Jack doesn't love her as much as he says he does. Love is all about giving and trying to make your partner happy.

Nobody wants to deal with smart-ass teenagers in any age; but if you really love someone, you would do it. We have a 16 year old smart-ass living with us and I tell you it is not a trip to DisneyLand. My partner would be happy not to have any more children as he had it hard by being a single dad to his daughter for years. But he knows that I would not feel fulfilled unless we have a family of our own. Because he loves me he is prepared to do it all over again. He's just wonderful.

[Maxx]

I can't help but thinking there is more to this story.

Yes as I said above Jack has a business that takes him away from his wife and leaves her alone for what is it? Months of accumulated time every year? Then to make matters worse he is in constant contact with hundreds maybe thousands of beautiful sexy women all looking for a man. I can't see how any man can run such a business and expect to keep a marriage together. BTW I am not against this business or it's type or against Jack I just think besides the child issue it's something that he should have changed or modified before contemplating marriage.

Maxx

[andrewfi]

I think some are misreading what Jack wrote. He did not change his position, he held it all the time. He postponed the decision to break the marriage. I do not see that he did too much wrong here. His wife decided that for her a child was more important the marriage and Jack decided that not having a child was more important than the marriage. The result is that the woman is now in a position to carve an independnet career and life in a place she wants to be, she has plenty of time to remarry, if she chooses, and to breed. If they had broken up earlier then they would have had less good time together (assuming the times were good!) and she would have been less prepared for an independnet life.

If one were to ask Natalia whether she would be happier single in the US, with a decent job and prospects, or in Odessa with the future she would otherwise have envisaged, I am sure that there would be but one reply. She would have chosen the US, even if there was a time limited contract ab initio.

[KenC]

Do we have the right to know?

Jack came on here and posted a very difficult explanation of a very personal matter.  The knowledge he shared about an additional obstical (Having children) in marrying a woman significantly younger, is benificial to the readership here.  And yes, there are two sides to every divorce.  It is easy to see that Natalia also "lost" valuable time (6 years) while she waited for Jack to give her children.  Even though the "children issue" may be the main reason for the divorce, I am sure that there are other factors involved.  Only Jack and Natalia know the exact truth to all of it.  And maybe that is the way it should stay.  Jack shared with us the part that is relevant and the rest of it is none of our business.

KenC

[andrewfi]

I was not suggesting that we should know more, or indeed, anything. I noted that people had misread what Jack chose to tell us and thereby had placed a different interpretation upon the situation than that which Jack had attempted to convey.

For sure, he has not told us everything, only a fool would do so, even if he himself knew everything.

[KenC]

Andrew,

My post was not directed at you, as I was writting mine while you posted yours.  Maxx asked if Jack's invovment with his agency had anything to do with the divorce.  That might be relevant, if Maxx was considering opening an agency.  And I don't even mean to slam Maxx.  I just want everyone to step back and recognize that Jack's divorce is a very personal time for him.  If he wants to share more, that is fine.  If he would prefer to keep it private, that too is fine.

KenC

[Bruce]

Jack - sorry to read your post.   We all are pulling for you.  Lots of stupendous posts are above mine.  Ken - "I guess marriage is a journey and not a destination.  How long the two people will remain compatable along that journey is anyone's guess,"  just hits the nail on the head.   As far as I am concerned the take home advice for those of us married is that marriage is a partnership that takes daily work.  Despite the best of intentions things can reach impasse.  Such is life.  We have made our bed - only time and our own expectations or standards will allow us to evaluate the success of our journey. 

For those in the process - there are alot of things to remember.  Marriage could and often does turn sour or change with the best of intentions.  Be honest with yourself.  Be honest with your wife prior to marriage.  Communication is so essential.  Do yourself a huge favor and do what you have to do to know what your girlfriend's hopes, expectations and dreams are prior to marriage.  Make sure you are not only compatible now - but project as far as you can into the future.  

Children have to come up.  Every young FSU woman without children I have ever met wants children - usually not more than two, though some want larger families. 

I say it all the time, but I'll repeat it again:

1. You have to be physically into each other.  2.  You have to be able to get along socially.   3.  You have to share common hopes, dreams and aspirations in every area important to both of you (part of that of course is children).  4.  She has to really do something for your inner psyche and you hers for the marriage to ultimately last.

Best of luck........................We all need it :hairraising:!!!