Hello all

[KyMike35]

I'm new to this. I've done a lot of reading of posts, responses and some do's and don'ts in searching for a RW.  I've been emailing a few women and setting up a couple video chats for now.  I won't be able to go to Ukraine until later this year because of business etc., but am thinking about going and trying to convince myself it is worth it.  Open to any comments or suggestions. 

Mike
Louisville, KY
USA

[Faux Pas]

Welcome KyMike!

It's worth it, even if you fail but of course that is just my opinion. Tell us something about yourself and is there any particular reason why you choose Ukraine?

[Kuna]

Mike,

Welcome to RWD.

The journey is a difficult one.  It's expensive and it will suck up more time than you can imagine.  There are many dangers and you'll never anticipate all of the pitfalls ahead - BUT, if you successfully marry the RIGHT woman, it's a life that others will envy (and some around you will despise).

Make no doubt that the decision to proceed or not will have HUGE impacts in every part of you life... but YOU have to decide what YOU want.

In saying all the above I have some good news...  RWD is the best place to learn what you NEED to learn to save yourself a world of pain.  I started just like you a bit over 2 years ago and I guess I found the pearls of wisdom in here that helped me find what I was looking for...  You'll need to work out who's a dreamer and who's speaking crap... You'll also need to understand yourself VERY ewll soyou can applyt he good advise. 

If you decide to go ahead I'd encourage you to use RWD as a support through your travels and listen to the advise you get.

It's a challenge - a BIG challenge for some - but I can promise you life is great with a good fsuw.

Best of luck!

[Shadow]

Any trip to a part of the world you have never seen before is worth it. If you manage to meet a partner, its just an incredible good bonus.
Make sure that you got some idea of when to travel, and let your contacts know it.
And be free to ask any kind of questions.

[Diplomacy]

Mike:

Welcome and please let us know more about yourself, and what you are looking for in a wife. 

[KyMike35]

Thanks for the replies guys.  Ok, a little about me....   I'm divorced 35  from Louisville, KY.  I have one daughter 9 years old. I've been divorced for 7 years and dated off and on since then.  It is very difficult to date someone with children and all the baggage that comes with them (ex's), (rotten kids).  It seems that the women I've dated have children and don't want anymore or they don't have any and aren't the mom type.  I guess I want the chance to meet someone who wants to start a family and I'm more of the "old fashioned" type.  This is why I have looked into finding an FSUW.   I am not rich by any means (about average USA income) and maybe that's a good thing when it comes to finding a foreign wife.   Also, I wonder about the language barrier and so forth.    These are probably many of the same issues you guys have dealt with in the past.   Look forward to your comments

[ScottinCrimea]

Welcome Mike,

First thing, don't buy into the agency hype about RW.  While I think you'll have a better chance of finding what you seem to be looking for in the FSU, don't assume that all RW are the motherly homemaking types who want only to serve you and provide a "cozy home'.  You need to first sit down and prioritize those characteristics that are the most important to you and then stick with them.  Kuna did this and can give you some great advice.  YOu don't want to start rationalizing with things such as, "Well, she hates children but she has great eyes so I can go with that.."

Secondly, don't fall in love with the photos.  There are indeed some great looking RW, but if that is the criteria you start out with, you're almost sure to get burned.

Third, if you want to save yourself a world of trouble, time and expense, focus on those who have enough English skills that you can actually get to know them and that allows them to adjust more easily to life in the US.

Fourth, Don't even consider anyone under 25 years of age.  I'm not just referring to the age gap, but the level of maturity I think you are looking for.

Fifth, for all your reading and preparation, you'll never truly understand things until you have visited the FSU at least once, so your focus should be getting there as soon as possible, even if just for the experience and understanding of the culture and the differences in the issues faced by FSUW over AW.

Sixth, look at it as more of a marathon than a sprint.  If your goal is to find a prospect, dash in to meet her, get the paperwork filed and get one over here as soon as possible, you're taking a big risk.

Now having said all of that, I have no doubt that some here will take offense to what I have said and proceed to list the exceptions, showing how they or someone they know has done differently and succeeded, but keep in mind that these are the exceptions.  For each one who has taken a big risk and succeeded, there are many more who have done so and failed.

There are many ways to go about this, and I'm sure you'll hear them all from various members, each of whom will firmly believe in what worked for them.  Listen to the pros and cons, then decide what you feel comfortable with.

Is it worth it?  Just ask anyone here is married to an FSUW and I believe the consensus will be that it was worth all the effort and then some.

[Faux Pas]

Thanks for the replies guys.  Ok, a little about me....   I'm divorced 35  from Louisville, KY.  I have one daughter 9 years old. I've been divorced for 7 years and dated off and on since then.  It is very difficult to date someone with children and all the baggage that comes with them (ex's), (rotten kids).  It seems that the women I've dated have children and don't want anymore or they don't have any and aren't the mom type.  I guess I want the chance to meet someone who wants to start a family and I'm more of the "old fashioned" type.  This is why I have looked into finding an FSUW.   I am not rich by any means (about average USA income) and maybe that's a good thing when it comes to finding a foreign wife.   Also, I wonder about the language barrier and so forth.    These are probably many of the same issues you guys have dealt with in the past.   Look forward to your comments

Hi KYMike

What do you consider an old fashion type?

The language barrier is an obstacle that can be overcome. How much an obstacle will be determined on your ability to learn a new language or her ability to learn one. It was never a big obstacle for me because my lady had decent english skills. Thank God because my ability to learn Russian has been proven much more difficult than I expected.

If neither of those is possible I see the relationship as much more difficult but as many here can attest, not impossible.

[ScottinCrimea]

I think most rational people would not choose "difficult but not impossible" as their first choice.

[kryten41]

Now is also a good time to start learning some Russian.  Even if you search for women who speak English, you will find it very helpful in your travels to be able to read and speak at least a little of the language.

Here is a good link for an introduction to the alphabet.  Some have also had good luck with the Pimsleur CDs and the Lonely Planet phrasebook in learning to speak some Russian.  If you are going to Ukraine, you should be aware that part of the population speaks Russian, and part speaks Ukrainian.  Scott can offer better advice on which to learn, depending on where you are going.  I know that Crimea is mostly Russian-speakers.

[Tamara]

Now is also a good time to start learning some Russian.  Even if you search for women who speak English, you will find it very helpful in your travels to be able to read and speak at least a little of the language.

Here is a good link for an introduction to the alphabet.  Some have also had good luck with the Pimsleur CDs and the Lonely Planet phrasebook in learning to speak some Russian.  If you are going to Ukraine, you should be aware that part of the population speaks Russian, and part speaks Ukrainian.  Scott can offer better advice on which to learn, depending on where you are going.  I know that Crimea is mostly Russian-speakers.

Good advice.  I don't see a link though...    You can try http://www.masterrussian.com  It has tons of information to start learning.  Beginner's Russian by Rachel Farmer is a good book accompanied by CDs: http://www.amazon.com/Teach-Yourself-Beginners-Russian-Audiopackage/dp/0071424628/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235695615&sr=1-1.  Its main goal is communication, perfect to prepare for the trip and learn the basics of the language.

[KyMike35]

Thanks for the info guys.  I've been to many forums and this is the first time the posts have sounded like first hand experience!   I started emailing  a few different girls.  I had a video chat with one this week and was very surprised. We used a translator and I got the impression that she was new to the agency. The woman in the office said she just decided to come in for english lessons three times a week. So it sounds like she's making a little effort.  We both smiled and laughed and after a while I was not nervous.

 It makes sense to me to find someone who speaks and understands english fairly well and a couple of the girls I've emailed do and one translates and writes her own letters.  I like the "marathon" idea.  I've heard from many guys who have gone to ukraine or russia to meet certain women and end up dating or getting engaged to someone entirely different than they thought going over there.  So, I will take things slow and maybe learn a little russian if poss and if I meet some of these girls when I go in a few months then great.  If not then it may be meant to be with someone else.

[kryten41]

Good advice.  I don't see a link though...   

OOPS!   

http://www.alphadictionary.com/rusgrammar/alphabet.html