How old is too young?

[facetrock]

 Now like I said there no absolutes in any age group. But I have talked to some of my daughters friends in the 20 to 25 age group and most of them claim they are ready to find the love of their life, get married and have some puppys. But my observation is that most that age, not all mind you, but most love the idea of a husband and children, but are not even close to being ready for the reality of it.
  Topofthekey. Hope you succeed, really do
  Misha. Many couples do mature together in the same direction as they get older. But sadly most do not. Peoples interests change over time and what was once important 20 years ago to someone might only be a distant memory in the future.

[topofthekey]

Now like I said there no absolutes in any age group. But I have talked to some of my daughters friends in the 20 to 25 age group and most of them claim they are ready to find the love of their life, get married and have some puppys.

Since you've told your personal story I really have to watch what I say eerrr type about young american ladies now. But here is an example of what a 25 or 28 (whatever) year old guy would miss if he cut the low 20s out of his search.

http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/767/767658P7.html

Those profiles aren't worth missing to me. Just like I'd definiately want to talk to her even if I knew nothing about here and saw her at the grocery story or park, etc.

[facetrock]

Hey I dont blame you. If I was 25 and that hot 22 year old lawyer wanted to meet me my hormones would win and I would be on the plane! I guess what I have been trying to say to you is that I dont think there is much difference in woman in America or the FSU when they are 20 to 25.  You will find the same in either country, but I encourage you to sample both places. Youth is on your side, your not in a hurry so go ahead an meet all types of women. Good experience for you.

[Misha]

Misha. Many couples do mature together in the same direction as they get older. But sadly most do not. Peoples interests change over time and what was once important 20 years ago to someone might only be a distant memory in the future.

So the logical thing would be for both men and women to marry in their fifties as by they they will no longer change?  Personally, I would say there are some advantages to marrying young and having children in your twenties.

[facetrock]

  There is a great advantage of having children in your twenties. But I think there is a better chance of a marriage working when you are both in your early 30s. Maybe I am wrong but its just my opinion. I dont claim to know all the answers, I just use my life experience to the best of my ability. If I did know all the answers I would never have divorced and would still be happily married.

[Vaughn]

facetrock, there are a few posters here that catch my attention - either by offering
tidbits of advice that make good sense, or by relating life experiences that parallel my
own. You, sir, have covered both of those bases. I sense we have much in common.

BTW, my 20 year old Russian stepdaughter is quite attractive, and could have
married several fine young men by now - except that she simply has no desire
to settle in at this stage of her life.

My own experience, having passed through my 20's decades ago, is that it was
a time in my life when everything was possible, nothing was certain, and when
interests and desires took wildly radical turns - and often. While my 20's were
full of fun and fond memories, I wouldn't trade the stability and wisdom that
crept in later. Those were the bedrock foundation that my wife and I felt we
needed (and had) to make this all work.

[facetrock]

  Thankyou Vaughn.

Topofthekey.  You said you would only date a woman like my daughter a few times before you moved on. Why would you do that? You are 25 she is 22 and her behavior is the norm for goodlooking girls in the USA. Now before you say that women like her are the reason you want to look for a woman in the FSU, I have bad news for you. Attractive women her age there are no different.  To find one anywhere that isnt,is like finding a needle in a haystack. You will go nuts trying to find one. My advice to you is date them anyway if you can, enjoy them and have fun.

I know you want to find a mature younger woman. But are you mature? Are you really ready for a wife and rugrats crawling all over you.
I am not trying to offend you. Just am curious if you really know what you want. At your age you should not really be concerned with finding a woman. Dont worry, with your wrinkle free body they kind of fall in your lap once in a while:) and dont worry about finding the love of your life. She will show up when you least expect it.

   Understand this though. Beautiful women no matter what country they are from have options. They do not have to settle for the average dude. Some may do just that but it is so very rare. If they have beauty plus brains they can go very far. They know they are beautiful, the same as men know they are goodlooking and they know what they are worth in Western society.

   The old saying that rich guys get all the goodlooking women is basically true. But there is a reason they are rich and its not because they are stupid. Women notice this and womens brains through evolution are hardwired to seek the best provider for their future children. In our society money equals security.

   So when you are dating that hot looking 20 to 25 year old single gal with no children in Moscow(or anywhere in the FSU for that matter) who likes the discos a little to much. Just remember she wont bored or have a lack of attention when you are back in the states. Lots of rich guys in the FSU that like young women.

[Vaughn]

Now before you say that women like her are the reason you want to look for a woman in the FSU, I have bad news for you. Attractive women her age there are no different.

BINGO!! It's truth, right down to the marrow. All the hype about
"tradition", "family values" and "(fill in the blank)" is just that: hype. Get past the accent and the mystique of the trainride
through snowfields, and you basically have found the very same Jennifer in that Dallas nightspot.

Top, go there and date, date, date - but don't buy into the fairy tale.

Vaughn

[Misha]

ou said you would only date a woman like my daughter a few times before you moved on.

Where exactly did he say that? I reread the posts and did not read that.

like finding a needle in a haystack.

As I always say, you are looking to please one woman, not all and this applies to both young and old. Maybe it is a haystack, and the size of the haystack may vary, but you are always looking for that needle in the haystack IMHO. What difference does it make if the man is 25 or 55?

[Misha]

Oh my, oh my...25 years old wants to date and in a couple of years time marry 22 years old....That is just horrid, innit?   On the other hand what can be more normal than 50 years old looking for a woman of 35...???

This comment is intended to be sarcastic if someone is wondering...

LOL! I am still wondering as well why 40 and 50-year-old men are still so upset about 25-year-old wanting to date 20-year-old women.

[facetrock]

Misha I am not upset that Topofthekey wants to date 20 to 25 year olds. Thats what he should be doing. I am assuming he wants to marry a beautiful women by the profile he posted of a woman earlier. Maybe I am wrong. But if I am right, I do believe he will have a hard time finding one that is ready to settle down and start a family. The oppurtunities for young kids these days is enormous compared to what it was like when I was growing up. And the oppurtunities in the FSU for young people are even more amplified than here.

Quote Topofthekey;  Believe me if she is 20 or 25 there is no rush on my part. If she is anything like what Facetrock describes in his daughter I would suggest you bet on me to discover that quickly and move on to someone else in the matter of a date or two.

Pretty much says to me he would not want to date a woman like her more than once or twice.

[Vaughn]

Misha, I don't believe anyone's upset about a 25 y.o. man dating girls in their early 20's, heck, that's going on
everywhere - and has been for a long time. What we OMBs notice is that some 25 y.o. guys will believe that
trekking to the FSU will uncover a girl who's basically different, meaning superior, to her Western counterpart,
and having observed the younger generation over there - I fail to see much difference at all. In summary, you
will hear me say again and again that while I wish all 20-somethings the best of luck in finding a long-lasting
relationship/marriage, the chances are good that great changes will occur in the form of distraction, redirection
of focus, personal needs and how they're individually prioritized, and yes, separation and divorce. Is it not glaringly
apparent that these changes occur less frequently and with less intensity as folks grow older?

If I could go back and do it all over again, I would never marry at 24 as I did. Then again, at 24, I almost never
listened to the advice of anyone over 40 as they didn't know anything, LOL.

[topofthekey]

Quote Topofthekey;  Believe me if she is 20 or 25 there is no rush on my part. If she is anything like what Facetrock describes in his daughter I would suggest you bet on me to discover that quickly and move on to someone else in the matter of a date or two.

Pretty much says to me he would not want to date a woman like her more than once or twice.

Actually I'm trying to stay away from making any comments on young AW since you provided your story. All you should read into it is what you told me. Your daughter was not interested in a serious relationship. So I might spend a night out partying with a girl like that if I had an open night. But that's it.

That was part of my problem last trip. I met a lot of hot women, but I never really got to shorting any of them out.

[topofthekey]

What we OMBs notice is that some 25 y.o. guys will believe that
trekking to the FSU will uncover a girl who's basically different, meaning superior, to her Western counterpart,
and having observed the younger generation over there - I fail to see much difference at all.

The Iowa State Fair might change your opinion.  Check that out. Compare that to Tallinn. Then come back and talk to me.

[facetrock]

The Iowa State Fair? Huh?  What do you mean by that? I have been to the Iowa State Fair but it was so long ago that Heart was the backup band for Bachman Turner Overdrive:)

[topofthekey]

The Iowa State Fair? Huh?  What do you mean by that? I have been to the Iowa State Fair but it was so long ago that Heart was the backup band for Bachman Turner Overdrive:)

What I mean is not a very flattering thing. We gots lots of fatties here. Not just the ladies either. Hairy guy, beer gut, with a wife beater stained in BBQ sauce. Pretty common. And of course plenty of dyke looking cowgirls showing off their prize hog. good stuff. 

[facetrock]

Well I am an old Iowa boy myself and I know what corn fed woman can turn into:)
You said on your last trip you dated alot of hot women but never sorted them out. Good for you, believe me if one would have stood out you would have met her again, and again and again:)
Whenever you go to the FSU make sure you have fun. Be yourself and meet people. If you meet one you like and want to see her again thats the time to start the serious thinking.
I think you will do fine, just remember youth is on your side, no hurry and have lots of fun.

[JR]

LOL! I am still wondering as well why 40 and 50-year-old men are still so upset about 25-year-old wanting to date 20-year-old women.

Because the 25 year old has a better chance of getting the 20 year old than we do and we can't stand the competition LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

[Misha]

What we OMBs notice is that some 25 y.o. guys will believe that trekking to the FSU will uncover a girl who's basically different, meaning superior, to her Western counterpart, and having observed the younger generation over there - I fail to see much difference at all.

I could wonder the same thing about the 40, 50 and 60 year old men doing the same thing  :evil:

[topofthekey]

You said on your last trip you dated alot of hot women but never sorted them out.

I met a lot. Got a lot of emails. I took another guy with me, so there was very few date like settings. I'm going stag next time. Anyways several ladies stood out. And then a completely new group of ladies would be introduced to me. I still get emails from women I can't remember. You go. You experience the culture. Then when you get back home you figure out what you can do better next time. More one-on-one dates is what I need to focus on next time. Otherwise its just more wheel spinning.

[Wienerin]

The Iowa State Fair might change your opinion.  Check that out. Compare that to Tallinn. Then come back and talk to me.

Midwesterb corn-fed blond beauties differ little from Estonian gals. Same again from a small city or farmers' fair in Germany, or Holland - and if you're in search of European culture you chance would be better in Denmark or Sweden.

[Diplomacy]

Speak of state fairs, this is a Merry Go Round topic.

I think we got some semantics being played out here.  Top, went on a learning trip, has not found a woman that fits his criteria.  He has modified the plan for next time. Until he finds a woman he is serious about, I vote for waiting to find out about her.

Top, the Iowa thing worries me also.  You living in a city? 

[Wienerin]

Misha, I don't believe anyone's upset about a 25 y.o. man dating girls in their early 20's, heck, that's going on
everywhere - and has been for a long time. What we OMBs notice is that some 25 y.o. guys will believe that
trekking to the FSU will uncover a girl who's basically different, meaning superior, to her Western counterpart,
and having observed the younger generation over there - I fail to see much difference at all. In summary, you
will hear me say again and again that while I wish all 20-somethings the best of luck in finding a long-lasting
relationship/marriage, the chances are good that great changes will occur in the form of distraction, redirection
of focus, personal needs and how they're individually prioritized, and yes, separation and divorce. Is it not glaringly
apparent that these changes occur less frequently and with less intensity as folks grow older?

If I could go back and do it all over again, I would never marry at 24 as I did. Then again, at 24, I almost never
listened to the advice of anyone over 40 as they didn't know anything, LOL.

If a difference of 15+ years so to say "happens" that is one does not seek a mate that much younger, but meets a true bescherte - that's one's intended, soul-mate who's 20 to one's 40-45, this is one thing. It can happen, people are different, and a 20 y.o can be - rarely though, - mature enough (also 40 y.o. can be immature, romantic and somewhat infantile ).

There're also cultures, where it's OK so long as the girl's parents agree.

But a man who starts out at 40+ or more to look for a wife in the afe ranfe of his daughter (if he had one), doesn't fill me with admiration at all. Rather with deep suspicion. The girl in question, if she really seeks that much older man raises a couple of questions in my mind, not all of them nice  

That said, I was a Russia girl who married at 19, had my first baby 1 week after my 20th birthday, - and a whole life to regret it. Looking back I know that with half a brain that I acquired by 25 I wouldn't have married neither the first husband, nor the second, at 23. The first one was 27 y.o. and very world-wise (with all the worse parts of this wisdom, I think), the second - same age as I were but with very defined views on how his wife should behave.

I simply didn't have experience or equipment to deal with any of them. If I had, I'd have still never married the4 second one, but maybe could cope with the first one and lived happily ever after. As it happened, I've totally lost my carefree young years and all the opportunities that go with those. I regained some - but at a much greater cost and effort, and some were lost forever.

So for a girl to marry young is mostly a loss, a stunted growth. IMHO, of course.

[Wienerin]

When people deal with a partner within at the most 15 years age difference then they deal with normal problems - individual quirks, cultural and background differences, etc. Closer to 20 and more - there comes a generational gap as often as not, and that's quite another kettle of fish. Which is suspect even when one seeks partner 20+ years younger within one's own culture.

When one looks for women of such age abroad - my suspicions get deeper, sorry. This doesn't say much good neither about the man nor of his opinion of RW/UW (meaning he must think even if somewhere deeply hidden corner that long-stemmed educated and intelligent beauties are so desperate to move to the West, that anything will go). Who really wants to be the same age or older as one's fiancee's father? And why?

Mind, I do not say anything against the rare occasions when such things just "happen", i.e. people meet and fall in love irregardless of age, circumstances, etc.

[topofthekey]

Midwesterb corn-fed blond beauties differ little from Estonian gals. Same again from a small city or farmers' fair in Germany, or Holland - and if you're in search of European culture you chance would be better in Denmark or Sweden.

Really? I could throw out some differences I saw compared to my neck of the woods.