Another statistic

[ECOCKS]

You know, this whole thing smacks of denial of due process for the accused.

If John Sampson wants to drum up some business, he should be on here giving a more detailed outline on how this system works and what tests have been withstood.

For instance, how does this affect the American spouse's police record if she is granted this petition? It sounds like a de facto finding of guilt.

[Muddy]

The system here is really fukked up
I missed the NBA game tonight and read 19 of 21 pages
Just one question, if she had not done this, how much longer did she have to wait for her permanent GC?
What else does she gain by doing this besides her perm GC?

[ScottinCrimea]

Maxx, I really don't think it is as extreme as you present, though I was a bit surprised and concerned to see how much information they asked for about me on the petition, such as information about all of my children.  I really don't see what that has to do with anything regarding her petition.

 As far as the enforcement of the AOS, I would have to sweat out the next five years until she got citizenship or perhaps the next 10 years if she doesn't waiting to see if the government suddenly tags me with a request for payment for some government services she decides to take advantage of.  Of course I wouldn't be given any prior notice of this.

I have heard already of two cases where a k-1 was granted when a prior spouse petitioned based on abuse that are fairly recent, so this may not be as big of an issue as you are suggesting.

If what you say is true and they will not accept anything I send them, then I have nothing to lose by sending it.  Worst case scenario is that they throw it away.  Best case is that they do as I was told and attach it to her file for consideration.  At least I can say that I did all that I could.

acrzybear,  While I agree such a letter would be helpful, based on what they have said, I don't think they would be inclined to provide one.  In addition, they came with her when she moved her things out, in her words, "to avoid any confrontations",  so there is a record of them coming to that address.

Muddy,  Her conditional green card was due to expire the first week of September.  She gains nothing by doing this other than obtaining her 10 year green card.

The stupid part is that I was perfectly willinjg to do whatever was necessary to help her get her permanent green card, even though we were separated.  She just made a bad choice based on bad acvice from others.  There didn't need to be any conflict.

[Misha]

She just made a bad choice based on bad advice from others. 

Sadly, this happens too often.

[Ade]

Sadly, this happens too often.

Yes, maybe, and maybe she's not a cold hearted biatch. Maybe.

However, given what Scott has stated, I would be extremely concerned and I, personally, would assume worst case scenarios from here on in and act accordingly to save my arse.

[acrzybear]

Scott

 So the police showed up for a civil stand by, if possible get it on some sort of document.  The call card (well computer) will show why they were there and the lack of any type of violence, it never hurts to ask.

[Misha]

Yes, maybe, and maybe she's not a cold hearted biatch. Maybe.

However, given what Scott has stated, I would be extremely concerned and I, personally, would assume worst case scenarios from here on in and act accordingly to save my arse.

True. Worst case scenario: cold-hearted "biatch" getting advice from other such women on how to do the maximum amount of damage to any person that stands in her way. I agree that Scott should assume the worst and avoid her at all costs.

[krimster]

Scott,
   First, please forgive my confusion.  First you admonish us NOT to write about specific things in case your (ex-)wife might be reading this and then you lay out your complete strategy for how you intend to handle it, for me it's confusing....

I know based on your past interaction with an immigration attorney on this board  that you have been reluctant to seek professional legal help, I can understand that, but I think it's time for you to reconsider this and not seek your counsel from this board (even though it's cheaper!) 

With the proper legal guidance you might possibly declare "green card fraud" in your wife's case.  The interesting part about this is that it works exactly like DV.  The "subject" must defend themselves from the allegation, regardless of it's truth, and this DOES go into their file.

As far as property in Ukraine is concerned, based on Ukrainian law you don't have title or likely even "secondary title" of this property, even though you paid every penny of it, legally it's not yours, and the ONLY way you could get ownership would be if ex-wife and ex-MIL just decided to give it to you, with you having to pay the fees for a title transfer.  However, in a US divorce, you might be able to prove the existence of this asset as community property and receive some sort of judgment, but again this is an issue to take up with an attorney.

I would not focus on "oh, if only she did things differently...", instead I would be preparing myself for war.  First step, get a good General (lawyer).  I would under no circumstance behave in a passive manner over this and let her "do the driving", I would advise that you be the active party and make your ex-wife concerned about what YOU will do, as opposed to the other way around...

[tim 360]

Scott,  It really seems to me that you are way too emotionally invested to DIY.  Right now you may think that you are being cool, calm and level-headed but you are just too close and way too involved to drive this car.  You need a good lawyer who has seen just how ugly divorce and the threat of DV can be and he will work to protect you.  This is probably your first or second divorce and you just don't have the experience and knowledge to work in your own best interest.  I mean this in a nice way, sometimes we are just too close to something to think clearly.

Years ago I had a buddy who was going through a divorce with an AW.  Up until then she had been a very nice and sweet girl.  I was even a little envious of him.  He was a very idealistic guy and was very generous with her settlement.  He would not even heed the advice of his lawyer who was against how nice he was.  Although getting divorced he wanted her to do well in life.  It seemed like his idea worked and everything was fine...for about a year.

When she saw how well he was doing in his life without her and how miserable her life had become she was so jealous that she tried getting more money out of him and making his life miserable and even tried getting him arrested for stalking her and threatening her with violence.  Of course he had not been within 50 miles of her.  It was a mess.  He had to prove that he was no where near her.  Why ever would he want to be?

Try not to be the kind idealistic guy in this because you could get hurt.  You are too kind to her, imho

[brucen36]

 As far as the enforcement of the AOS, I would have to sweat out the next five years until she got citizenship or perhaps the next 10 years if she doesn't waiting to see if the government suddenly tags me with a request for payment for some government services she decides to take advantage of. 

This is exactly why you should endeavor to have her sent back.  Your 'niceness' will sneak back to bite you on the ass one day.

The stupid part is that I was perfectly willinjg to do whatever was necessary to help her get her permanent green card, even though we were separated.  She just made a bad choice based on bad acvice from others.  There didn't need to be any conflict.

This IS stupid, so stop willing yourself to do this.  Put yourself first, that's obviously her credo after all.

[ScottinCrimea]

I've spent the past few days doing a lot of research on this subject, and the bottom line is that I, along with the rest of the men in America, are screwed.  The women have the US government and every feminazi in the world on their side and we are on our own. According to statute, the woman MUST be believed no matter what and the man MUST be considered a liar.  There is no opportunity to prove otherwise.  She can file a complaint alleging anything she wants and again, according to statute, this must be accepted as the truth with no opportunity to provide any defense.  She does not even need to provide any evidence, and any contrary evidence provided by the man MUST be discarded.

We all want to believe that the American system is one of checks and balances and justice, but the regulations regarding this whole issue throw that concept completely out the window.

Her permanent greencard is a done deal.  There is a huge loophole in the immmigration process that no one dares touch for fear of being labeled anti-woman.  No politician is going to risk the wrath of the female population of the country because he would be crucified.

Those that take advantage of this loophole just laugh at the idiocy of a system that gives them everything they want with the simple cry of "abuse".

So what do I have to be thankful for?

1.  She didn't seek a criminal charge of domestic violence against me.

2.  She didn't seek a restraining order against me.

3.  She contends only verbal abuse.

4.  She didn't make any claim of sexual abuse toward her daughter

5.  She didn't clean me out financially

6.  She gave me back one of our cars

7.  She left most of the household furnishings

Had she taken any one of several of these actions I would now be homeless, in jail and unemployable, and I'm sure several of these were recommended to her by her "advisors".

After reading all of the horror stories about those who have had it much worse, I consider myself extremely lucky. It's scary to think that many on this board are just one argument way from being in the same position that I am in, or much worse.  I was in denial for a long time, but I don't have that luxury anymore.

For all the evidence presented here that she is a manipulative, opportunistic bitch, there is also evidence that she still retains some feelings for me, or at least has some semblance of a conscience.  I guess I should be thankful for small favors.

For all the negative we have to say about the FSU, something like this could never happen there.

[Muddy]

That is why the system here attarcts so many scammers, many of them get green card and then bring their older relatives just to collect SS benefits

[Maxx2]

Wow! Scott you sure sound like me!

Let me give you a piece of the puzzle on why it is that way with the USCIS. Back in the mid 90's with the rise of hardcore politically connected feminism the VAWA laws came into being. The situation of Clarence Thomas and OJ didn't help much. About that same time came the rise of MOB's agencies of the FSU, Latin America and the Far East. The INS at the service centers were getting swamped with marriage fraud cases and complaints of abuse. In Bloomington Minnesota as example they were/are getting on a average two cases a day of what you are going through. It was tying up a lot time of INS investigators. So what the INS did was set up a centrally located service center in Vermont to handle all abuse petition. The VAWA staff there got 'sensitivity training' and 'special training' given to them by feminists educated in this. The whole INS VAWA department in Vermont was overseen by feminist Congressional staffers. For a while American citizens (American women get accused by foreign spouses of abuse too) were able to get through to Vermont with information and evidence usually with the help of the INS. This  was causing problems for those in Vermont and elsewhere who wanted ALL abuse petitions to be approved. So what did they do? In 2005 when VAWA was being reinacted they made it impossible for the US citizen to submit evidence of their innocence or their former partner's guilt. In short they want to wiz these VAWA cases through and not be bothered by them. And what is worse was the INS knew in advance that this system with no checks and balances would bring all this hell on the American citizen. I got this straight from a retired INS District Director who called Arlington VA in 1996 with his concern about Americans being set up on false charges. Arlington's answer, "We know but we are going to do it anyway".

Maxx

[JNSampson]

Gentlemen,

Greetings to you all. And a special greeting to Ecocks, "thank you" for giving me advice on how I should be "drumming up business".

You don't get it. I don't NEED to drum up business. It's doing just fine on its own. And THAT is the issue. The fact that I could open my doors on January 2nd and be as busy as I am in three short months, should be a clear indication of how badly things are "screwed up". But I guess it's easier to sit back and point fingers at the "feminazis", the "system", and now me, since I have the audacity to start a business that is trying to help those who are in need, and, GASP!,  charge a fee for doing so.

I guess the philosophy is that because you are a "victim", you are somehow entitled to have someone bail you out with little or no effort on your part to participate in your own defense, and with no obligation to pay the person for their time and services. After all, you are a victim and as such, you are entitled to free, gratuitious advice and assistance on how to get you out of the mess you so capably and spectacularly got yourself in on your own.

However, let me clue you in on a couple of salient FACTS.

A. As I already said, I don't need to "drum up business". Lamentably, business is doing just fine on its own without me having to stand on a street corner shilling to get "customers". I'm not a store. I don't SELL anything. I provide a service. And from the amount of hits on my website and the number of contact form submissions I receive on a weekly basis, sadly, it appears that my services are sorely needed. And yes, I CHARGE for my services. If that's offensive to some, so be it. But such is life. I don't give free and gratuitious advice.

B. Scott you are in a state of denial and are justifying what your "wife" did to you. You ARE, the classic "victim". It's somehow YOUR fault and she is blameless. "Bull$hit". She played you like a Stradaverius and you still somehow aren't outraged. I'd be pissed off to no end if someone abused me in that manner. I'd feel violated, abused, and it would be akin to being raped, I would imagine. 

C. You can either sit back and lament how all of you are "victims" of the system, how the women have the system in their pocket (they do), or you can TRY and do something about it and try and change it. You can fight back. Will you win every time? No. But at least you aren't thinking: "since rape is inevitable, I'll lie back and try to "enjoy it". If the woman wins, at least she has to work for it.

D. I make no guarantees. However, let's look at the current scoreboard. Prior to January 2, 2009, there was no one out there doing what I do. And more importantly, their were no "victories" for the men who were the true victims.

What I do is conduct the investigation that ICE or USCIS won't do. That means I have to testify in order for the victim to have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning and getting some form of "justice".

Some men are in the process of having something done about their loving "wives". Those wives may wind up being deported. That's right, the "D" word. But it doesn't happen overnight. I don't have some magic power to throw a switch and have the offending party transported back to their home country instantaneously.

Several more are fighting back, against the system, against their abusive "wives", and are poised to make some history and to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. If you doubt me, ask some of the men on Voice of American Immigration Fraud.

Donald Glassman, one of my very first cases, avoided getting convicted of Rape 3rd which would have landed him in the NY State prison system. Why? Because someone came forward and testified on his behalf in court, demonstrating how the fraud works and simply stating there IS fraud.

Danny Cox is about to expose his Romanian wife for being the lying "biacth" (a nice term that someone used here so I'll use it) that she is. SHE may very well wind up getting indicted by a federal grand jury. Again, "why" you ask? Beacause someone conducted an investigation and found the evidence to prove the fraud.

Mark Weeks is fighting back and his Russian wife may very well have an issue of a serious kind before long. Another investigation conducted and evidence obtained that the wife lied her A$$ off.

Chris Hoppel avoided getting convicted of a "crime involving domestic violence". Someone, who had the audacity to charge for their services, testified at his trial about how the fraud works, that there is fraud in the first place, and what the motivation is for these women to commit the fraud in the first place.

It's called "educating the judge and the jury" because, quite frankly, up until now, everyone has been blissfully ignorant. No more. It's time for the wake up call.

There are many others who have chose to fight back. Will every one of them prevail? Probably not.

But the reality of this is that in order to fight back, one has to spend money to do so. It doesn't come for free and it certainly doesn't come "cheap". Sorry, there's no "free lunch".

E. Russian women, although they constitute a high percentage of women who commit this particular crime, are NOT the only ones engaged in it. I have clients who have married women from Colombia (another hot spot), Africa, Jamaica, China, Korea, Argentina, and the Dominican Republic, just to name a few.

So, gentlemen, the choice is yours. You can sit back on your collective A$$E$ and complain how unfair life is, or you can try and do something about it. Ball's in your court.

To Ecocks, this is as far as I go on explaining how the "system" screws everyone over. The reality is that you all know how the system screws everyone over. It's what you do about it that counts.

I can go into great detail on how this affects one's "Police Record". And the point is? What are you going to do about it to resolve the issue?

Yes, it "affects your police record". Every restraining order is placed in the Wanted Persons file in NCIC. That's right, the "Wanted Person's File". It will stay there until the restraining order is lifted AND the FBI is notified of such, BY THE COURT WHO ISSUED IT. NO ONE ELSE CAN REMOVE THE RESTRAINING ORDER FROM THE SYSTEM. PERIOD.

You writing a nicely worded letter to the FBI informing them that the restraining order that was entered into the system needs to be removed since it's been vacated will do nothing but give you a nice warm feeling all over. However, no one will notice. It's akin to pissing in a dark suit.

And when you go to get a passport, or to have it renewed, yes, the State Department, who issues you your passport, checks the NCIC wanted person's file prior to issuing a passport. If there is an entry, guess what? No passport.

If you try and purchase a firearm, good luck. Isn't going to happen. The Brady "insta-check" is linked to the state system and NCIC. The RO will pop up and you'll be told, albeit politely, you can't purchase a weapon. Period.

Also, each state has their own automated data base or mini NCIC. And yes, every restraining order is entered into the state system for the state in which it's issued in. So if a court in Colorado issues a restraining order against me, it's entered not only into NCIC but into CCIC as well.

This concludes my lecture on how the system screws you over.

You now get to chose. Sheep, or wolf. Which is it going to be?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is for a few good men to do nothing". Sir Edmund Burke.

[ECOCKS]

\Thanks for your informative reply John. Not sure why you chose to assume there is sarcasm there but be that as it may....

There was nothing stated there except an honest comment that you would get business from here if we had the background education on this topic. Look at Scott's opening comments about the amount of time he is spending doing research to discover he is screwed. Obviously many here are not informed and Scott is hardly the first guy to get slapped around trying to DIY being nice in a situation like this. Since it is apparently more problematic than a normal American divorce, we need more help and understanding. I particularly am interested in the question I asked, whether this has been tested as a denial of due process and what justifications they used in any appeal process. I was also concerned about whether notations like you mention show up long-term in the record and affect our next NCIS check when we purchase a firearm.

I think if more of us understand what we are up against, more of us will get professional help rather than stumble through making mistakes and getting mired deeper in the mire of their bureaucracy. I truly don't think "all"" of us understood the danger here.

Oh, by the way John, if you read this thread you'll notice that a sizeable percentage keep advising Scott to get a lawyer. No one I am aware of is trying to send him out looking for charity or a professional who will give away his services. Many on here have a clear understanding that good help is worth paying good money for. No one I know of is asking you to do pro bono or quote cheap rates.

Since you don't need the business, does anyone else do what you do if any of us need professional help in this area?

Oh, and thank you for mentioning the web site where we might find more information.

[SANDRO43]

The women have the US government and every feminazi in the world on their side and we are on our own. According to statute, the woman MUST be believed no matter what and the man MUST be considered a liar.  There is no opportunity to prove otherwise.  She can file a complaint alleging anything she wants and again, according to statute, this must be accepted as the truth with no opportunity to provide any defense.  She does not even need to provide any evidence, and any contrary evidence provided by the man MUST be discarded.

We all want to believe that the American system is one of checks and balances and justice, but the regulations regarding this whole issue throw that concept completely out the window.

Doesn't this violate some fundamental constitutional principle ? Has anybody ever appealed to the US Supreme Court to have that statute modified ?

She played you like a Stradaverius

Incidentally, it's Stradivarius, the Latinised variant of Antonio Stradivari's name which he used on the paper label that he glued inside his luthier's masterpieces: "Antonius Stradivarius fecit anno XXXX" .

[ECOCKS]

I know Sandro, that hit me too.

That was why I hoped John would post something to let us know just how deep the quicksand was if this happens.

Knowledge of what could potentially happen should make us more wary and give us more reason to be patient.

[krimster]

>Antonius Stradivarius fecit anno XXXX"

Wow!  That would be a VERY old instrument!

[SANDRO43]

>Antonius Stradivarius fecit anno XXXX" Wow!  That would be a VERY old instrument!

OK, I should have written YYYY . But if you imply 40 BC/AD, that'd be XL - same as for Extra Large .

[ScottinCrimea]

Wow! Scott you sure sound like me!

The difference between us, Maxx, is that five years from now I will have long since just let it go and moved on with my life.

[Muddy]

http://www.angelika.net/ladies/cf8071.shtml

[Maxx2]

The difference between us, Maxx, is that five years from now I will have long since just let it go and moved on with my life.

It is really about whether you will man up and try and help the next guy. Or go off and do as Edmund Burk warned about, "All that it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."  Scott, by your not fighting back you are emboldening your wife for further misdeeds. Think about how she will advise other women to do to their husbands what is being done to you. Perhaps this doesn't matter to you? In five years from now will you help others who are in the position you are in? I have a lobby group in DC that has made contact with Congressmen who are interested in making this one of their issues in 2010 in their New Contract for America. I also produced, filmed and edited an instructional film on this subject that is being distributed to various police departments. It was shown at the Heritage Foundation at their VAWA reform conference on October 1st 2008. In part doing things like this is what John Sampson meant by,

"C. You can either sit back and lament how all of you are "victims" of the system, how the women have the system in their pocket (they do), or you can TRY and do something about it and try and change it. You can fight back. Will you win every time? No. But at least you aren't thinking: "since rape is inevitable, I'll lie back and try to "enjoy it". If the woman wins, at least she has to work for it." 

Nobody on this board has a clue about what I do with the majority of my time. The goofy people on this board think the issue I deal with here holds me back from moving on with my life. This issue maybe involves 5% of my time. The other 95% IS my living my life. I HAVE moved on.

Maxx

[krimster]

Well if you default on making the necessary payments you owe to your marriage, it can be foreclosed and you will face eviction.

You can attempt to seek gratification by "renting", but people tend to see less satisfaction with this approach.

It is advisable to understand the terms by which you have mortgaged yourself, especially the fine print.  Not adhering to the terms of the contract can force the lender to take drastic action.  If you are uncertain of the terms, then you should communicate in depth with the lender.

If your marriage is foreclosed, you will have no further recourse or intercourse.

It should be noted that marriage contracts are based on "normality" and not individuality.  The tension created by the drive of individuality can be in conflict with what is "normal" within a marriage.  Success within a marriage is based on resolving this paradox (or even three docs) by choosing when appropriate to subordinate individual desires and freedoms.

Do not decry the penalty levied against you by a barrister.  After all he passed the bar, while you went inside and had a pint (or two).  Rather fill yourself with resolve that you will pay all debts both public and private.  This will also help to raise your credit score.

To Maxx2, lamenting the unavailability of Maxx or Maxx1,
   To you I say, "do not seek by individual action to elevate all of mankind"  It was tried once.  Rather, consider the words of Adam Smith, who said that an individual pursuing his own self-interest tends to also promote the good of his community.  For that to occur, an individual must first of course understand "what is in his own best interest".  Surprisingly, many in confusion, choose individuality over normality.  They in effect become a conscientious objector to normality after they enlisted and took the oath of allegiance.  Society usually reserves some form of punishment for this, although to escape it, many flee to Canada or Switzerland.  Although recently residency visas have become much more difficult to obtain so much less desirable places are now substituted.

I like cookies.

[Maxx2]

Krimster, were both strange and so was Maxx and Maxx1.

[krimster]

Maxx-II,

Concepts such as yin and yang argue that evil and good are complementary opposites within a greater whole. If one disappears, the other must disappear as well, leaving emptiness.  Similarly the strange or odd is connected to its opposite the familiar and normal.   My advice?  Treat the intersection of opposites as a frontier, a path to tread, allowing you to be in both lands while being in neither.