Would you or wouldn't you?

[Doll]

So when she was out one night staying all night at a party at her girlfriend's house I took the ring.

How nice!  :evil:

[SANDRO43]

that little voice is blaring the alarm PULL UP <beep beep> PULL UP <beep beep> PULL UP

EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! may be more appropriate

[tfcrew]

Forgive if this has been mentioned...but

A diamond ring doesn't necessarily need to be "pricey" does it? I saw a nice one [no BS] at USA Pawn just yesterday-- $100 and it is similar to what I took over to my wife some 9 yrs ago.
 Consider after all, the price of the airline ticket over there and the commitment involved.

Good luck to all
Karl

[SANDRO43]

A diamond ring doesn't necessarily need to be "pricey" does it? I saw a nice one [no BS] at USA Pawn just yesterday-- $100 and it is similar to what I took over to my wife some 9 yrs ago.

I'm no jeweller and the only (small) diamond ring I bought a lifetime ago cost me about 50% of my then monthly income, which makes me think that a pawned $100 ring may not be diamond at all (zircon ?) or, if indeed a diamond, of VERY low quality .

[Ravens9273]

Forgive if this has been mentioned...but

A diamond ring doesn't necessarily need to be "pricey" does it? I saw a nice one [no BS] at USA Pawn just yesterday-- $100 and it is similar to what I took over to my wife some 9 yrs ago.
 Consider after all, the price of the airline ticket over there and the commitment involved.

Good luck to all
Karl

Pawn shops usualy charge top dollar when it comes to jewelery. If the ring was $100 I would have to agree with Sandro that it is not real at all. The $100 is price for gold in band. If it had real diamond for that price it would be the size of tip of a pin. No noticable size diamond would be sold at $100 even if 1/4ct which is still small for a diamond. I would ask alot of questions before buying the ring at $100. I will bet only the band is real at such a price.

[Diplomacy]

The owner of a pawn shop that I know.  Sells the diamonds to Jewelers, unless he has someone looking for one.

[smilingjake]

I am going out shopping this weekend for a diamond ring. She knows that she will be receiving a diamond engagement ring. My questions to her --- what is your ring size? and do you prefer white or yellow gold. I will present the ring on my next trip over to  visit.  We will shop together for wedding bands upon her arrival this fall.

[kryten41]

I'm not REAL superstitious, but I just think there is bad mojo with pawnshop jewelry.  Consider a diamond engagement ring in a pawnshop--something bad happened in the previous owners life or it wouldn't have been pawned.  It was either stolen, the prior owner fell into such dire economic straits that she had to pawn her most prized possession, or the engagement (or marriage) failed.   

[tfcrew]

In response..
I bought a real diamond but it was 10 years ago.
Thinking that there is some kind of 'mojo' on a used ring is just silly.
Of course you don't tell them that it is.
We bought my wedding band [14K] for $25 at the same store.
Yup...the price of gold is going crazy.

[SMS60]

I'm not REAL superstitious, but I just think there is bad mojo with pawnshop jewelry.  Consider a diamond engagement ring in a pawnshop--something bad happened in the previous owners life or it wouldn't have been pawned.  It was either stolen, the prior owner fell into such dire economic straits that she had to pawn her most prized possession, or the engagement (or marriage) failed.   

 After you buy the pawned item click your heels together 3 times and the bad mojo will go away.

[Mishenka]

Galina wanted for us to design our own wedding rings. We took a pen and paper and created a design we both liked to take to a jeweler. Her family had known a few jeweler's working in the city that would build to order. We came up with a design he could make but after meeting with this friend of her brother I didn't like the quality of his work. Tashkent being Central Asia and borders China, the gold was from China, The diamonds? Who knows where from? His price for two custom made special design rings,gold and stones was $700 USD. He wanted half up front.  I decided not to proceed with this guy. Galina was upset, thinking I wasn't ready to marry her. I explained she is precious to me, I want the only the best quality for her. Galina's brother worked with this guy making gold chains, I explained to her, this is not the same as making diamond with emerald rings. Galina wanted diamonds as they represent eternity and emeralds represent life, meaning eternal life for the marriage. Try finding ready made Emerald with diamond wedding ring sets in Tashkent. Anyway, I opted to wait and buy in USA. Still after all this time, I have not bought them. After reading the accounts from Wayne and Scott's posts, and hearing from others I know personally,I decided to proceed with CAUTION.

To answer the OP, I would buy a ring but I haven't yet. A ring is not just jewelry, its means "promise of commitment". With the current economic situation, we both decided its best to wait some time to see if things improve. If and when they do, we will proceed with filing K1. Right now all is on hold. With so much time passing, and so many negative thoughts on failed or failing relationships, the economy etc, there is no rush to hear wedding bells today. I would however like a plan so at least we know where we stand. RW generally live each day as it comes and Galina never plans the future for fear it won't happen. While she prefers to live each day as it comes, I prefer to execute a proven plan. In marriage I do not believe in an escape clause so I better be absolutely sure this is what I want before I sign the marriage license. Both of us better be sure we are 100% committed beyond doubt.

Mishenka

[Chicagoguy]

Mishenka,

Please take into consideration that after you file for a K-1 it will take 8 months for approval. Maybe you could start now and you can always cancel with no penalty for either of the two of you down the line.

For me it was file in August and final interview in on April 2.

[Mishenka]

Yes chicagoguy I am aware of this. 
If it was up to me alone, I would have filed last July. At first Galina was in a hurry and wanted to file in March last year. We started filling out the papers but didn't complete them. I wasn't ready at the time. Her 25 year old son warned us to wait at until we know each other better, that I should make another trip to visit, then file. He said we should not make such decisions when our emotions are so intense.  He was right, after spending a month of face time with her and was high on love from a perfect 32 days together. Eating, drinking and breathing, we were joined at the hip among other things married people do.
 
Galina took over a month off work. We spent the perfect holiday together. She never left my side other than to use the toilet and shower. If I walked out of the room, she followed. if I sat down to eat or watch TV, she sat with me. She always wanted all the doors in the flat open, she never closed them for some reason. I think she still didn't believe I was with her. I had to stay in plain view for her to believe I was really there. She never locked the bathroom door either. She treated me like royalty, cooking, cleaning, washing my laundry, daily massages with fragrant oils, I was in heaven. I gladly did the same for her. From the moment I stepped out of the Airport into the taxi, we were inseparable. When left her last April, our hearts were both torn out of our chest.

I expected to be back in her arms by mid June for my birthday and get married in Tashkent, then fly back after staying there the 30 some odd days until the marriage was legal, then file the K3 at the Us Embassy before I came home. That didn't work out because of finances.  Then I planned a September trip for her birthday. With the crisis is in full swing, there was no money for travel so I planned a New Years - Russian Christmas trip. I had the money, visa to travel and tickets, then canceled as my 88 year old mother had fallen and was sent to the ER ,never to go home again. We checked her into a nursing home. Galina, thinking my mother was near death (as we all thought) decided I should not come visit until after my mother passed away. Her fears of the failing economy and loosing half the value of her flat, changed her mind about moving here now. I tried to tell her the TV news makes it sound worse that it is but in reality, millions of hurting people are in deep trouble. She wants security in a world that offers none.

Where are we now? In limbo until finances improve and she chooses to sign her documents. When we first  met I was earning twice what I do now. Money was never a concern. Now Galina worries because we are not certain of our future. She won't allow me to send her money or gifts. This is wise of her because I have now saved $3,000 in three months towards her moving here. Time will tell what the future will be.
Mishenka                                                                                                   

[Chicagoguy]

Mishenka,

I think you are both in perfect control of your destiny.

Best Wishes !

[Mishenka]

Here is the ring I wanted to buy for her. Now I am thinking I should send it to her. I know it would mean a lot to her to wear it. She wanted something simple, I think this one works well. 14K gold with 1 ct total weight diamonds, only issue is no emeralds in this one, could order it special with emeralds on either side with diamond in the center.  What do you think about that?

[Ravens9273]

This is my wifes new aniversary gift. I bought her a new ring. I went with pink diamond this time and added a new wedding band to fit it.
She loves pink and red. Everything has to be pink or red so I thought she would love this.
I need no gift in return from her. Ray Lewis resigned with the Ravens. This is all the gift I needed. 

[Diplomacy]

They are both beautiful rings.  How can you get the ring there though?  Is there any courier that can be trusted?  I know the gift sending is a bit of a crap shoot.  You have had the time to think about it Mishenka. 

Was it being caught up in the moment?  Does not sound like it to me.  Life happens, do not let it pass both of you by.  You are saving $1,000 a month even with the cut in income.

I am pretty sure you can support her on that here.  She seems to be the "careful with money type"

Go there and tell her you need to be with her.  You got $3,000 use it.  I think she would rather that, the ring would mean a lot.  You putting her at peace may mean more, show her all is good.  Prove it to her, let her feel it.  Be a man, sweep her off her feet.  Love is not practical, you are cheating both of you.

I have noticed the change in attitude in the last few weeks.  Just go, you may regret not doing it.  I think you both need to be together now.

I had to do it Mishenka, I do not regret it.  I wanted to wait for the 2nd trip, and her Father got ill.  She thought I was not serious at first about going.  I decided Sunday that her father may not make it.  I was there by Tuesday night.  I knew there was not going to be enough money for a 3rd trip.

Looking back, there is not any price I could put on those 2 weeks.  I was part of the family from that point on.  Not just accepted, but seen as a person to seek advice from.  My fiance, was then able to get them to listen to her about his care.

I am beyond proud of her, and she did save her Father's life. 

[Simoni]

Marina picked out an inexpensive ring while she was waiting for her visa ($500).  But it looks nothing like an engagement ring.

When we got married, we went to jewelry stores in the USA together and she picked out exactly what she wanted.

Since engagement rings are not the custom in the FSU, I think it's better to wait and let her select her own, later.

For us, the cost was the times more :-)  But after she saw what kinds of rings wives were here, it all made more sense to her.

[Mishenka]

This is my wife's new anniversary gift. I bought her a new ring. I went with pink diamond this time and added a new wedding band to fit it.
She loves pink and red. Everything has to be pink or red so I thought she would love this.
I need no gift in return from her. Ray Lewis resigned with the Ravens. This is all the gift I needed. 

Ravens, this ring you chose is stunning,,,  it certainly has a unique class and design to it.  I Will have to go out shopping and see what special one of a kinds are out there. Serdechka moya deserves the best. Even if I add the emeralds to this one she likes, it still looks rather common to me. Maybe I should give the guy in Tashkent another chance?  I might be too late since I didn't buy from him when I was there.

Mishenka

[tfcrew]

How can you get the ring there though?  Is there any courier that can be trusted?  I know the gift sending is a bit of a crap shoot.

Back to the mojo or a superstition thing [and this is just us here] but...
Rings should be given in person and not sent.

[Mishenka]

Back to the mojo or a superstition thing [and this is just us here] but...
Rings should be given in person and not sent.

I agree, especially when the ring costs more than the plane ticket. More important than this, I can't put a value on the expression I will see on her face giving it to her in person!  An engagement ring is way to special and personal to be sent in a package 7,000 miles away. Even using International Express, guaranteed service with tracking and insurance, things happen.  I have only lost one package out of 12 that I sent over the last 18 months.

Problem with traveling now, I work 12+ hour days 6 days a week plus a half day on Saturday.  I can not afford the time away. I am the administrator for 3 companies that depend on me to be there everyday to handle the money. I manage 10 properties, 6 in Florida and 4 in San Diego,California. Then webmaster of the 2 websites and everyday operations. I open and close the store/offices each day. I have job security as I am the only one who knows how to deal with all these issues.  if I could hire and train someone to do the accounting and payroll, I could leave for a week or 10 days including weekends. I could update the web sites easy enough from there. We also have a plan with Costco to do a road show with musical instruments in their southern California stores that will add some serious income this year. 10 days at each of 12 stores. I really need my girl here. She has a masters in economics. I would love to have her handle the books. She would rather sell perfumes at Macy's

Mishenka

[Mishenka]

They are both beautiful rings.  How can you get the ring there though?  Is there any courier that can be trusted?  I know the gift sending is a bit of a crap shoot.  You have had the time to think about it Mishenka. 

Was it being caught up in the moment?  Does not sound like it to me.  Life happens, do not let it pass both of you by.  You are saving $1,000 a month even with the cut in income.

I am pretty sure you can support her on that here.  She seems to be the "careful with money type"

Go there and tell her you need to be with her.  You got $3,000 use it.  I think she would rather that, the ring would mean a lot.  You putting her at peace may mean more, show her all is good.  Prove it to her, let her feel it.  Be a man, sweep her off her feet.  Love is not practical, you are cheating both of you.

I have noticed the change in attitude in the last few weeks.  Just go, you may regret not doing it.  I think you both need to be together now.

I had to do it Mishenka, I do not regret it.  I wanted to wait for the 2nd trip, and her Father got ill.  She thought I was not serious at first about going.  I decided Sunday that her father may not make it.  I was there by Tuesday night.  I knew there was not going to be enough money for a 3rd trip.

Looking back, there is not any price I could put on those 2 weeks.  I was part of the family from that point on.  Not just accepted, but seen as a person to seek advice from.  My fiance, was then able to get them to listen to her about his care.

I am beyond proud of her, and she did save her Father's life. 

Amazing women we all have!
I could send the ring by US Mail international express mail guaranteed service. It is insured for full value. It takes 8 days to arrive. As I said before of 12 shipments, 11 arrived on time and without a problem. Only one was lost and never left USA. I save quickly because I have very few debts. I went from earning a 6 figure income to mid 5's so 'I'm not a happy camper now. I'm convinced this will change soon. I would still rather give her the ring in person.
 
When we met, Galina was account General for Uzbekistan Airways in Tashkent. She was also teaching Economics at the University there. She is excellent with money. Each week I gave her a certain amount of cash and she proved to be a careful buyer. She negotiates every price before she buys anything. We survived remodeling her flat, buying new appliances, windows and security bars. I'm not worried about money like she is.    I can afford to have her live here, thats not the issue. She wanted to buy a home here with money from selling her flat.  Now it is worth half of what it was in July so she is thinking we must wait for the value to increase. She says she will never return to Tashkent.  I'm sure money has been tight for most of her life. She has a good idea of how far a dollar goes here. We shop on line together all the time, she is always amazed at the low prices compared to her city.

The change in attitude comes from both of us going through hard times with family issues.  Galina's brother and his family moved to USA already last month. She misses them dearly. It is as painful as a death in the family when someone so close to you leaves. Her mother and father have passed away. Her grandmother has passed away so she has only her son left and they are not getting along well. She has not been speaking with me as much.This bothers me more than she understands. she doesn't want me to see her bad moods. I tell her she has nothing to hide. I know everything, I feel her mood each day regardless.

On my end, my sister spent 8 days in the hospital ER and ICU two weeks ago and is still not well. My mother is spending her last days in the nursing home. I am working insane hours so,this is life right now. We are patiently waiting the the right time to be together, when we can concentrate on each other and not cheat each other of our time. We sacrifice a little for familynow, until we can be together. I do agree with you about cheating each other out of time well spent. This is driving me crazy.

mishenka

[SANDRO43]

could order it special with emeralds on either side with diamond in the center.  What do you think about that?

Nice original design, Mishenka. Personally, I'd prefer white gold or platinum if you add emeralds, I don't think green/yellow is as good a colour match as green/white.

Pity you're not in Italy for that, a friend of mine is from a family of reputed Piedmont jewellers and could have provided a cost estimate .

[Ravens9273]

Mishenka

I just found this ring to fit your needs.

[I/O]

one scholar claimed he was going to buy a ring w/a CZ stone since his fiancee wouldn't know the difference. If things worked out, our smug scholar claimed he would replace the CZ stone with a diamond. I remember JB pointed out how shallow and crass this was and then went on to say that if you're hoping to take advantage of her lack of knowledge and do this on the cheap, your fiancee will ultimately realize you're a cheap SOB

LOL, I recall that one and IIRC it wasn't only JB suggesting an "Arse Handing Session" was on the horizon.

I/O